How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Cargo

"All hooves!" Captain Typhoon hollered to the crew on board the Midnight Oil. "Bring her in slowly! Prepare to dock!"

The hull of the other transport drifted gradually closer. Flash could already see a small smattering of ponies working at the vessel's various stations. The rear half of the deck was full of wooden crates—supplies of some sort.

Fancy Pants' voice broke the air. "Ah! I see he's come bringing a hearty bounty!"

"Well, I would most certainly hope so!" Prince Blueblood exclaimed. "The fastest way to these brutes' heads is through their stomachs!"

"That's one way of putting it, your Eminence, but I shudder to pronounce it so... bluntly in the presence of our future business partners."

"Oh come now, Mr. Pants. You know as well as I do that this will come down to a veritable scratching of their ears more than anything else."

"That may be so, dear Prince. Nevertheless, I implore you to let myself and our partner do the talking once we arrive at the coordinates."

"Hrmmffff..."

Flash's attention was stolen by the Wonderbolts as they flew in and hovered alongside the two docking vessels. Spitfire levitated beside Soarin', her jumpsuit damp with sweat from a full day of flying.

"They were weighted down by their cargo," Spitfire said, her voice as raspy as ever. "They had to sacrifice space for extra cargo."

"Is that why they were so late in arriving?"

Spitfire growled, "Well, it certainly wasn't because we were so slow in escorting them!"

"Erm... I-I didn't mean to suggest—"

"Just keep your eyes on the transfer and make sure no ponies fall overboard."

"Y-Yes, Spitfire."

Flash bit his tongue. Turning, he focused on the two separate hulls of the ships as they drifted closer together. An elaborate plank mechanism unfolded, stretched out, and made contact with the smaller of the two vessels. Crew ponies on both sides fashioned the platform, steadying it. Within a minute, a stallion in a necktie trotted onto the Midnight Oil. There was something familiar about his coat and complexion. Once he began speaking, Flash instantly recognized who the voice belonged to.

"So terribly sorry for the delay in our revival, Mr. Pants... Your Highness." Filthy Rich bowed low. "Acquiring the... erm... treats took a tad bit longer than I had expected. After all, the mares responsible for preparing them have been detained at the last second. Business with the Princess of Friendship. You know how it is."

"Mmmm... indubitably." Fancy Pants trotted up and shook hooves with the other businessstallion. "Those six are simply trying to keep Equestria a safer place. Now, it's our turn."

"One step at a time." Filthy Rich winked. "I reckon."

Canterloy trotted up, squinting at the newcomer. "Uncle Blue? His mane's not nearly as gray as you said—"

"Ahem!" Prince Blueblood shoved Canterloy away—perhaps because he was the only pony on board the Midnight Oil who could afford to do so. "Happy tidings, Mr. Rich. I trust you brought the silver bullets!"

"'Silver bullets' is... such a crude term, Your Highness."

"We're dealing with a crude people."

"Manners before money, good Prince," Filthy Rich said, waving a hoof. "That's what my father always said. As far as I'm concerned, these swarthy canines are our new clients! And I intend for us to treat them with the same respect as I would give to any customer of Barnyard Bargains!"

"Indeed." Fancy Pants nodded. "A most welcoming challenge! I'm quite glad to have you on board, Mr. Rich!"

"And I'm glad to be on board." Filthy turned towards the ship's captain. "Captain Typhoon. Permission to hoof over our bounty?"

"Permission granted, sir." Captain Typhoon gestured towards several of the crew ponies. "Move! I want all of those crates brought down into the Midnight Oil's hold! On the double!"

"Aye, sir!" And several ponies galloped into action.

At this point, Filthy Rich had turned about to survey the airship. In so doing, he caught sight of Flash Sentry. His eyes blinked. "Brad?" He grinned, trotting over briskly. "Mr. Brad? Bleach my bit-bag! Is that you?"

Flash smiled awkwardly. "Good afternoon."

Soarin' did a double-take from where he hovered up above. "Brad? You know Filthy Rich?"

"Uhhhhhhh..." Flash glanced up at him as he reached a hoof forward to shake hooves with the stallion in question. "He prefers just 'Mr. Rich,' actually."

"I prefer the company of kind-hearted ponies!" Filthy Rich grinned wide as he shook Flash's fetlock. "And it looks as though I've gotten my wish in spades!" He chuckled. "I do hope you brought that guitar of yours!"

"Actually, that was Bon Bon's guitar, if I recall," Flash said. "And... eheh..." He shook the headphones still hooked around his neck. "I've got enough things as it is to bring back to Ponyville."

"What in Celestia's name are you doing all the way out here?" Filthy Rich raised an eyebrow. "Not that I mind, but this is quite the unexpected turn."

"I guess I could say the same about you," Flash said. "Guess I'm just about to find out."

"Well, that's just mighty fine!" Filthy turned to look at Fancy Pants. "You've got yourself some fantastic company, Fancy Pants. If there was ever a need for a good luck charm—"

"Way ahead of you, good chap," Fancy Pants remarked. "Brad here is the sole reason why Blueblood's royal nephew is still breathing."

"Quite true," Blueblood remarked, nose tilted up.

"I beg your pardon?" Filthy Rich blinked.

"It's a long story," Flash stammered.

"But an awesome one!" Soarin' exclaimed, grinning. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing it. Right, Brad?"

Before anyone—much less Flash—could open their muzzle—

"No offense, gentlecolts, but we're waaaaaay behind schedule," Spitfire said, brushing past Soarin' as she overshadowed the crew. "We've got a bunch of cargo to move, and then a destination to reach! I don't know how impatient canines get, but I don't aim to find out! What about you?"

"The Wonderbolts' leader is right." Captain Typhoon turned about. "With your permission, Mr. Pants. We'll be underway swiftly."

"By all means." Fancy Pants gestured. "You may oversee the transfer."

"With expediency, sir."

Comments

[IceKitsune]

And Filthy Rich is on board now. We are getting closer and closer to that meeting now.

[bloons3]

7931041
He's on board with the above-board parts.

[Booster Spice]

Is someone deliberately sending Blueblood along to try yet again to get rid of him in yet another civil war conflict? Because so far, he is a bigger threat to the stability and Harmony than Sombra.

[Spade_McTrowel]

7931119
IIRC, something about him being 1/8 Crystal Pony and able to read te innate magic in the gems they want from the Dogs.
--Spade

[Booster Spice]

7931179

Dont make me want to extract that ability from him using any more violence than Im currently considering.

I blame the medication.

Good job it isnt the strong stuff or Id just use a modified teleport spell.

I designed an Artifact many years ago. Its a thousand cubic foot of crystal sentience. It looks like a perfectly normal building. You do Not want to know what its capabilites are. Lets just say One of the buttons is marked Total Perspective Vortex. There are at least Six buttons that are Big, and Red.

Sorry, the Squirrel is complaining at me again.

[DrEggnog]

The kid fell off and then Brad McFlash caught him. What is it with fictional characters calling stories that aren't long long stories?

Still, nice to see Filthy Rich. I like pleasant coincidences in stories.

[ZanyZapper]

Wondering if we're going to get a comic-like Blueblood once they meet the diamond dogs. Same old selfish stuck-up git, but when the time comes he's a master of negotiation and diplomacy. I kind of like that Blueblood.

[djthomp]

It's nice to see pony Mr. Rich again, his appearance earlier in the story was an interesting contrast to his EQG world self.

[Leftover of Saikano]

Filthy Rich joins the Noble Jury crew. I hope he brings pastries.

[NATOstrike]

7931254

Lets just say One of the buttons is marked Total Perspective Vortex.

The whole of reality as extrapolated from a fairy cake.... terrifying.

[Drachos]

7931271
It is typically a good writing habit to not repeat what the audience already knows, especially repeatedly. If they story was told again, as short a telling as it maybe, its text the reader doesn't need to read, a wasted paragraph that many will skip over.

If it was ACTUALLY a long story a time skip could be used to fix this. As this is not the case, saying, "Its a long story" avoids both the story and repeating the same questions, (Why was Brad in the Mountains, Why was the Blueblood Heir so close to the edge of the Ship, etc etc) that have already been asked and answered that Filthy Rich would ask.

[MLai]

7931271
A happenstance as potentially crowd-pleasing in the telling as that of a plunging prince being snatched from death by a young citizen, clearly deserves its full fireside tale time allotment. It would be like wasting good liquor to just tell it matter of factly in 2 sentences. I feel ponies would be closer to that bardic tradition than we modern humans are.

Outside of medieval or fantasy settings, LOL yeah I agree with you.

[Icarus_Con_Queso]

7931271 The long part comes in attempting to explain why he was passed out on a random mountain in hostile territory a grueling flight's distance away from where Mr. Rich last saw Brad. Mostly in the 'ums' and 'ahs'.

Fancy wants so badly to tell Blueblood to just shut the up already.