Humphrey: Welcome, Pirates, sit yourselves down,
And meet the best trader in town.

As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books.

Seldom do you see,
Honest men like me,
A gent of good intent,
Who's content to be,

Master of the coin, doling out the charm,
Ready with a handshake and an open palm,

Gives a saucy quest, makes a little stir,
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur.

Glad to do a friend a favour,
Doesn't cost me to be nice,