So, basically, I'm working on a translation project and we're translating a hit Russian story, The Broken Toy. And I'd very much appreciate feedback.

This is a dark-ish cyberpunk story about happiness, loyalty and standing up for what's right. The story features great world-building and emotional spikes. In fact, the emotional contrast would represent a sine wave, where it turned into a graph... but you won't get to see much just yet, since we've translated the prologue + 2 chapters.

Anyway, what I need feedback on is grammar and overall flow and appeal of the story.

So, please, read it and tell me what you think. Thanks

Here's the link to the story