Like how I wrote Celestia Kills Luna as a parody of the general idea of those two hating each other and Amtrak as a means to make fun of people who live in the lower peninsula in general, this story is to make fun of the idea of Luna's guards.

The story starts off with two characters from a larger work which hasn't been released. The story opens with two twin pegasi brothers, Swift Feet and Featherweight, SF and FW for short. The story begins with a complete ripoff of pacific rim and the two being manlymen and fighting off gigantic monsters until the cockpit is breached and one is killed.

Then, as we learn, it was all a dream, and in reality the two are completely good for nothing slackers and college dropouts living in their parent's house in Canterlot. Their dad is the Royal Lawyer for Canterlot, so they're loaded, but the two brothers are completely immature manchildren, watching cartoons, fighting with each other, and in a general need to grow up. They get their work uniforms, and head out of the house.

On their way to the castle, we learn that the two boys are Princess Luna's chariot pullers, not because of any sort of combat experience or training, but because they have the ability to move completely in sync and can take flight with a chariot in 3 steps.

Anyway, on the way to the castle, they become distracted by an advertisement for a college frat party at a school that they hate and decide to go crash it. Using the authority that they definitely don't have, they crash the frat party like at the end of Super Troopers and begin to drink and do drugs with the remaining fraboys that they trapped inside the house. Long story short, they shakedown the "Head" and he gives up a new type of drug that's supposed to be the mother of all highs, a drug he calls "Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds" Upon hearing this, the boys take it and use a small amount and get nothing. they try more and nothing happens. they try even more, and absolutely nothing happens. Disappointed, they leave and head to the castle. As they leave, the drug dealer realizes that because of all of the other things they've taken, the new drug is having a delayed reaction.

They get to the castle during a very vital conference between the Princesses and the Griffin rulers over a coup to have the griffin king assassinated, so they're supposed to be on their best behavior and do nothing...

and that's when the LSD hits them both.

Long story short, while they're tripping massive balls, they inadvertently stumble upon the head of the coup, the security advisor of the Griffin King, and althrough they're knocked out, they save the day.

When they come too the next day, they're in the infirmary and in chains. As it turns out, they saved the day, but blood samples were taken and they're about to be arrested by the Canterlot Police for being on enough drugs to kill a horse, but luckily before they say anything, their dad comes in manages to prove the machine was not calibrated correctly and gets the results thrown out, but before his boys are set free, they need to take another urine test.

Their dad manages to stall the test for a few hours, and the boys have to try to get themselves out of their pickle, so they go to their mom and beg her to take the sample for them.

The next day, the report to the castle, but as their dad tells them, the Griffins insisted that the CPD drop the charges and let the boys off, but instead, now the Princesses want to see the results of the test and as such the two are brought before the two alicorns trembling.

In a secure envelope, Celestia receives the results and, after looking at the boys and the paper several times, says, "It shows that your toxicity reports have come back clean. You are free to go, please take the rest of the day of."

With haste, SF and FW run out into the courtyard and perform a secret manly twin handshake of epic proportions and go off to celebrate, but unbeknowest to them, Celestia and Luna are on the balcony above watching them.

Luna says, "Sister, the test has obviously been cheated. Why did you lie?"

Celestia says, "I didn't lie, the test came back and they had no illegal substances in them."

"Yes, but at the same time the test also said that both of them were pregnant as well."

Celestia simply smiles and says, "I know, but just look at them, they remind me of us from a long time ago."

Now, I was never really thinking of ever writing this idea out or posting it, but my recent binge marathon of Blue Mountain State has invigorate my energy in it.