Chronicles of the Bull-Moose Party
He paced across the balcony, one heavy hoof after the other. A purple night's sky hung over the desert's edge. The polished marble rooftops of Val Roa reflected the startlight in a tranquil sheen. From the distance, a coyote howled. It did little good to his nerves.
He chewed on his lower lips, pacing and pacing. At last, he heard a shuffle of hoofsteps. Twirling around, he squinted at the far end of the balcony.
"Midnite...?"
With a dry breath, he leaned forward, summoning a charge of mana through his antlers. The tips glowed like red hot embers, illuminating the marble stairs leading up from the lower floors of the apartment complex.
"Midnite Bastion, is that you?"
"Floyd!" a voice hissed, followed by a charcoal-gray earth pony poking her head up from the edge of the ascending stairs. "Put out that light! You idiot, someone will see us!"
He winced, giving his skull a little shake. The lights died in an instant, returning the balcony to its nocturnal haze.
"This is wrong," the mare muttered. As she trotted up, the starlight revealed a dull orange uniform clinging to her well-toned limbs. "We can't meet up here like we used to, Floyd. The heat is on, and my father has less and less allies to turn to. The last thing he needs is something else to get angry about."
"I had to see you, Bastion," he said, leaning down until his face was low enough to nuzzle her. "Please forgive me..."
"Nnngh..." She grunted and shoved his face away with a frown. "I'll forgive you as soon as you explain yourself, Floyd!" Her face morphed into an expression of concern and worry. "Aren't you in enough hot water as it is? It's no secret that Fishberry's gunning for you."
"I can handle that stuck up fawn," he said with a smirk. "I just... have to lay low for a while."
"What..." She squinted at him. "...do you mean 'lay low?'"
"I..." He grimaced a bit. "I-I have to leave for Bountiful."
"Leave? For how long?"
"I don't know. There's trouble at home. The neighboring provinces have withdrawn their militias from the southern borders, opening us up to rogue bandits from the Cartel." His nostrils flared. "Naturally, the Council isn't going to do anything to help."
"When do you embark?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Is... is this what you brought me here for?! She gritted her teeth. "You risked ending everything just to tell me that everything is ending?!"
"Midnite, no! It's not ending! Anything but!" He smiled, reaching a hoof to caress her fluffy black mane. "I'm going to come back! I'm going to make all of this work!"
"Nnngh... Floyd, you've..." She pressed a hoof against his limb to shove it away, but relented with a sigh. Leaning in, she stroked her cheek against his caressing touch as a sigh escaped her throat. "Floyd, you've s-said all of those sort of things before."
"And they're still true! I can make this work!"
"Yeah? How?"
"I just have to deal with the Cartel and then come back," he said. "I'll find allies in the Council, I swear it! I just... n-need to look harder."
"Floyd..." She looked up at him, her eyes turning firm again. "My father can't bail you out again."
He shook his head. "And I'm not asking Saikano to! If nothing else, I'll have grathered enough evidence from what's happening in Bountiful to convince the Council that there's a terrible amount of interpolitical horseplay going on!"
"Ugh..." She rolled her eyes. "Always with the racist terminology..."
"Midnite, I'm trying to be serious."
"Heh..." She smirked. "That'll be a first."
"For real. Either I do this or I give up. And after what happened to my parents, after all that's been hoofed down to me, you know very well that I can't let Bountiful wither away."
"If you want my opinion..."
He smiled. "Why not? You're gonna give it either way."
"You should go back there and stay there," she said in a bitter tone. "They need you more than the Council ever could have."
His lips pursed. "Midnite..."
"In fact, you really shouldn't have ever come to Val Roa in the first place!" She stormed off, staring out into the desolate expanse to the east. Stars twinkled along the deathly horizon. "As if my life wasn't complicated enough before... b-before..."
He shuffled over and rested a hoof on her shoulder.
She bit her lip, trembling slightly.
"If Fishberry wants me gone, I can live with that," he said. "If your father banishes me, I can deal. But you, Midnite? If you banish me, I promise, I'll never show up around here again. I'll stay in Bountiful all my life if need be."
She shuddered, "I'll never do that, you stupid elk."
"Then what is it that you want?"
"I... I don't know..." She held a hoof to her face as she clenched her teeth. "Life's... s-so much simpler when all you gotta do is p-punch goblins in the face and leave it at that."
He gazed at her, slowly smiling. He leaned down and nuzzled the side of her face.
She fought back a sob and nuzzled him back, her teary eyes shut. "This place is too twisted... too tw-twisted to afford something so happy, Floyd."
"I know," he said, kissing her tiny head. "But we've been happy, still, haven't we?"
"Y-yes..." She shuddered, glaring into the distance. "That's what burns the most." She clenched her jaw. "It's just too messed up, Floyd. I didn't think it was at once, but now... after everything I've seen..." She gulped. "And after everything you've taught me."
"I'm sorry, Midnite."
"Don't be." She turned and gazed up at him. "I'm a loyal defender of this kingdom. Someday, when I myself become a general, I swear--I will clean up all the scum from offices that pretend to serve the King and Queen. And when that day comes, and all of the garbage is thrown beyond the West Gate along with the Cartel's wretches, we will have order."
"Is that all? Just order?" He smirked.
Midnite's gaze fell. "We... will be a lot older then, Floyd..."
"So?" He grinned. "I'll wait, Midnite."
She looked up at him.
He simply smiled back.
Her face hung between a smile and a frown. "Get out of here, ya silly elk." Her nostrils flared. "Get what you need done."
He stared at her, gazing longlingly. At last, he leaned in and kissed her forehead. Then, on graceful hooves, he twirled and trotted towards the stairs.
Midnite Bastion fidgeted. She took a bold step forward. "I-I'll write you!"
He paused in his steps.
"Just... y'know..." She gulped. "To ch-check up on how Bountiful is fairing. It's the conscientious thing to do."
He turned to look at her. He smiled with a slight nod. "I know you will..."
Floydien's red eyes opened.
"...Nancy Jane."
The elk sat against the bed of his "room" inside the Sehlp Estate. He glanced down at where he slumped on his haunches. The plush rug was covered all over in envelopes and letters and more letters. None of the penstrokes were even remotely recognizable. The more that he stared at them... the longer that he allowed the words and paragraphs and recollections blur together...
"Nnngh..." He rubbed his head, squinting hard. "Maybe..." A loathsome breath. "Maybe the stabby stabs were saving Floydien..."
Silence.
With a breathy sigh, he stood up, turned around, and trotted towards the balcony.
"Well, if it isn't Duke Water On the Brain!" A giant moose stood with a giant moose smile. "Look alive, douchestain!" And he charged forward. "RAAAAAAUGH!"
Floydien's head darted up. "What what what?!" WHUMP! The massive moose's thick antlers slammed into his, shoving him so hard across the room that his hooves dug four deep canals in the rich carpet. "Grnnnngh! What... m-manner of spit is this?!"
"Keep drooling, ya mealy-mouthed bastard!" Jake snarled, locking horns with the large elk. "Somewhere beneath that telethon act is the sissy bull whose balls I used to love kicking in!"
"Grrggnnngh--[bHAAAUGH!" Floydien shoved Jake back.
The moose slid a few frictious feet. "Come on!" he bellowed, rattling the walls of the bedroom. "You call that angry?! Lemme see your war muzzle!"
Wordlessly, Floydien threw his head forward, charging mana through every branch of his antlers. The room lit up with electric blue flame--all of it fountaining towards Jake in a solid robbin.
The moose's beady eyes flinched. "Pixies!"
POWWW! Jake took it in the horns. He fell back on his large brown flanks and slid across the room, colliding so hard with the bedroom wall that he made a butt-shaped dent.
Floydien stood in place, panting, antlers smoking.
"Brbrbrbrbrrbrbb!" Jake shook the cobwebs out. A hairy cleft of hair off his chin had caught fire. "Hah!" He grinned. "Hah hah!" He put the tiny flame out with a thick hoof. "Well met!"
"Who is the dead boomer who wishes to be deader?!" Floydien snarled.
"Y'know..." The moose lumbered up to his hooves, caught between chuckling and coughing. "You might... nnngh... be able to fool your prissy younger sister with all this brain-scrambled-elk bullshit, but I ain't blind!" He stood up finally, squinting airily at the elk. "I know a duke's face when I see it. So, how about opening up, ol' buddy?" He gnashed his teeth. "Just what did fleeing west like a total yellow-dork'd coward get ya? Huh? A lousy airship full of punks who like to take advantage of your idiocy?"
Floydien's red eyes twitched.
The moose bore a wide, slobbery grin. "And did I mention you smell like chocolate that's been pissed in?"
"Nnnngrrghhh!" Floydien charged at full force, antlers brimming. "Boomer will be talking out of boomer's hairy stab hole after this!"
Jake cricked his massive neck and braced himself. "Now we're talkin'!"
Stomp stomp STOMP!
Whuddddd!
The chandelier of the dressing room shook and flickered.
Kera looked straight up at the ceiling, along with the servants fitting her latest lavender gown.
"Huh..." Bellesmith shifted worriedly from where she sat next to Eagle Eye on the side. "Sounds like some horrible wrestling match is happening upstairs."
Eagle Eye muttered. "Seems to be an awful lot of that going around in this manor."
"Oooh!" Kera flounced in her half-stitched gown. "I wanna go up and see!"
"No you don't," Belle muttered, then gestured at the pony servants. "Carry on. And don't forget to lace the hem of her skirt."
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..." Kera pouted.
Whud! Whuddddd!
CRASSSSSH! Floydien shoved Jake clear through the window. The balcony rang with a splash of glass in every direction.
"Guhhh!" Jake wheezed as he rolled bloodily over the jagged shards. "Sweet kittens! That tickles!"
"Leave Floydien alone or Floydien zap!" the elk shouted.
"Heh, is that so?" Jake sat up, rubbing his chin. He smirked. "My turn." WOOOSH! He threw his neck up.
WHAM! His left antler uppercutted Floydien so hard that the large elk actually flipped back from the blow.
"Aaaaaaaaand--" Jake spun onto his front legs and used his big brown flank like a hairy club. "GROUNDHOG'S DAY!" THWUMP!
The meaty impact knocked Floydien's airborne body clear across the balcony.
Arcanista sat at a desk, daintily sipping from a teacup as she looked over a half-dozen maps depicting the landscape between Bountiful and Val Roa's West Gate.
Floydien's ragdoll body sailed past the window behind her. Half a second later, his body struck the exterior of the mansion, rattling the saucer set on Arcanista's desk.
The Duchess gulped her sip of tea and exhaled. "Hmmm..." Her lips curved as she flipped over to another map. "Good show, Jake. I knew you two would bond well."
The window rattled from the heavy footsteps...
...of the moose approaching the fresh crater that Floydien's dazed figure had made.
"You mad enough yet, Floydy?" Jake cracked the joints in his jaw before smirking. "I promise you it ain't got eggs on my ire!"
"Floydien..." The elk wheezed, rubbing his head. "...is no c-coward..."
"Aren't you?" Jake slammed his hooves into place, striking a battle stance. "You ditched Bountiful... you ditched the pretty Duchess... you even ditched the General's skank back in Val Roa!"
"Floydien..." He looked up, sneering. "D-doesn't know any of these boomers!"
"You even stole a squirrel from the sanctuary!" Jake snorted, his face reddening. "After all I've done to build it too!" He dragged a hoof across the balcony's marble floor. "NOBODY steals a moose's squirrel!"
"His name..." Floydien stood up, eyes flaring. "Was Simon! Floydien's only friend beside beloved Nancy Jane!"
"So you all you got was a lonely chair on board Cloud Suckatron! Tough cookies! That's life, ya daffy duke!" Jake began charging once more. Thud Thud Thud! "Now wake the Hell up, already! This lousy kingdom needs you--"
"It needs spit!" Floydien aimed his antlers straight at the balcony floor in front of Jake. "Now STAB OFF!"
ZAAAAAAAP! The granite exploded from the sheer magnitude of Floydien's magical discharge.
Jake gasped, falling amidst the rubble two whole stories. He landed in a gravel heap at the floor, coughing up dust and sediment. "Grnnnhkkt... hackkt... cucumbers!
Th-Thap! Floydien landed next to him. Wincing, he trotted over and gripped the moose's neck with an angry hoof. "Floydien marched straight into the black glimmer of stabby-stabs! Floydien threw his neck at the jaws of zombie boomers and shimmer sadists!" He shoved Jake's head back and glared. "Floydien made friends when it was the last thing Floydien wanted to do! You call Floydien a coward?! Floydien thinks that it's Sehlp boomers who don't know Floydien!"
The moose grimaced. "That... th-that power! You never blew a mana load like th-that before!"
"And st-stop all this spit about Val Roa and a general's boomerette!" Floydien heaved and panted, backtrotting with a slight grimace. "Floydien only knows Nancy Jane..." He clutched his head, shivering. "Floydien only l-loves Nancy Jane..."
Jake stared, blinking. His muzzle hung open, droolless for once. "...what's been done to you, Floyd?" He narrowed his beady eyes. "What have you become?"
Floydien seethed, saying nothing. He turned and trotted towards the front courtyard of the Manor.
"Gnnngh... mrfff..." Jake finally climbed out of the pile of debris, shaking the loose bricks and dust off. "Oomfa... so you say that you... that Floydien has made new friends, huh?"
Floydien simply kept walking.
Jake smirked. "Well, these 'boomers' happen to need a lot of help right now. Our help."
Floydien stopped in his tracks, heaving.
"And I've volunteered to take the Duchess up on her offer and lead this sissy caravan of princess fluff through the West Gate. But beyond that, I ain't no good! The old Floyd would understand that I'm nothing but a meaty psychopath in Val Roa proper." He squinted. "Maybe this 'Floydien' can respect the fact that the Duchess and I can't do this silly crap on our own!"
Floydien slowly turned around with a dull gaze.
"Maybe Floydien can help out." Jake grinned, offering a hoof out from long distance. "And if he can't remember his old buddies, maybe he can make new ones in the same places!"
"... ... ..." Floydien trotted slowly back. He stood before Jake. He stared the moose eye to eye. He punched him with a savage right hook.
"Guh!" Jake fell back, landing on his massive backside.
"Floydien will think about it!" the elk spat, then stormed off.
Jake sat up, rubbing his chin. He blinked. "Termites!" he grinned. "The bastard's still there! Wooohoo! Yeah!"
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No gratuitous violence for you, Kera.
It's not proper.
This is how men make friends.
Ooooh... a Teddy Roosevelt reference!
So Midnite is a pony, not an elk. That means her father, General Saikano, is also a pony.
Now what about me?
5156810
That's Teddy Moosevelt to you.
So, the main reason Jake the Moose is annoyed at Floydien, is because he thinks he ran off, a coward, and is now starting to realise that someone melted Floydiens mind, meaning, someone in Val Roa has been playing Jake for a Patsy?
Its going to take a while, but eventually Jake is going to find out who it was. And then, he is going to get angry. You wont like him when he is angry.
5156810
She could always be adopted.
And we still don't have confirmation that there aren't Diamond Dogs in Val Roa.
5156874
Quite possibly. And no, you wouldn't...
Fifty four-count side straddle hops, ):(. Knock 'em out!
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Elk fight club!
DESERT CITY CONFIRM
Also, update right before I have to dinner. The struggle.
Will continue later.
I'm scared.
*hugs Eagle Eye*
Unida - Red
My brain had the worst sad thought. Midnite Bastion as Chrysalis....
Oh, you're one to talk, fruit baskets.
Not sure if Jake is dumb for attacking a maniacal elk or a genius for helping Floydien remember himself a bit, if nothing else. Maybe he's a bit like new Sion, who only remembers who he was in the heat of combat?
Also, Jake built the sanctuary, or at least helped. That's neat.
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encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRCwsOdzVu74OC12_GX_0-arFOYNJzVdEHf4zzaeukBXmr9e_xd
You call that heavy metal? You're going soft, bro.
Well....that was hilarious.
The mental image of Arcanista sipping tea while her brother flies through the air behind her is marvelous.
This chapter....it's a thing of beauty.
5157257
I found a lovely portrait of Arcanista from this chapter.
i.imgur.com/hYb7n.gif
I see Arcanista studed at Celestia's School for Calm Tea-Drinking
5157045
INDEED.
Desert cities please the Robo.
Well, how about that. He took Obsidian Hope's design and used that as well. Dunno if he used the same cutie mark as well, though.
Welp, Midnite as pony definitely confirmed. Unfortunately, no shield magic will be involved on account of not-unicorn.
...Jebus...does Jake only communicate in facepunch?
5157223
plzno
5157273
...Do you think maybe she's just used to Jake throwing people around?
Go Floydien! Show your staby staby!
5156810
Seapony.
Just wait. It's gonna happen.
It's official. Jake is the best darn thing since toasted bread.
Eat it up.
Eat it up.
Om nom nom
5157539 Naw, I'm a platypus. Doesn't matter what species I appear to be when I'm finally in a scene. Platypuses are magical; it's just an illusion spell. How does a platypus wind up in Val Roa? The Grand Secretary has an incredibly involved backstory that will take at least half a book to explore.
As a female, I do not participate in these male bonding rituals, inside opting to sit there with a bowl of popcorn, cheering them on.
Thus, I found it extremely amusing when I realized how accurate this is to one.
At least Floydien can hold his own against the guy.
Quite a sound.
There was something oddly satisfying about Floydien kicking ass. That said, Jake's growing on me.
1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/rubbing-your-eyes.jpg
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Probably, I'm sure it happens a lot when he's within thirty miles.
But I also like the possible addition of Character Trait: Occasionally does not give a single
fubucfeather.Does Midnite's monologue about being a defender of the Kingdom remind anyone else of Bickle's monologuing from Scorcece's 'Taxi Driver'?
It's funny. I never quite got a feeling for just how utterly messed up Floyds is up until this point. But now imagine him and tragic Prince Charming there in one room. Contrasts really do work.
You know crap gets real when people start yelling special characters.
Looks like this kind of "conversation" happens often. Nice to see the mansion was built to last with them in mind. Well, for the most part...
And here we thought Floydien was the deranged one. Then you throw in this cockeyed moose.
Every chapter Jake is in is fantastic. I like it.
Midnite's practically a Jurist already. Sad she's not a batpone, but oh well.
5156747 Also, the last "wrestling match" she was privy to was between Roarke and Rainbow Dash.
And there it is! I remember back before we knew what Floydien's species was and everyone speculated he was a moose just for that reference. Now, four books later, we finally get it!
Midnite is nightshade and also 2 changelings in a pony costume
Unrelated, everyone who comments anywhere in this story gets a character. Whether they are named in the story is another matter.
5156985
I'm a little late on this but sweet fuck your guy's a badass, I like it.
5160255
our overlorder never misses a chance to make a reference to his followers
Well, this is odd... Appledashery was updated over half an hour ago, but not this?
5157223 ...oh, Celestia... That took the happy in me from reading this chapter...
5156985 Like Sivrem, but late to the party, and when I realized it was you my laughter was non-stop for three minutes. Thank gods it was break, my coworker looked at me like I was high on something unsavory. CONGRATS DUDE.
Now it's YOUR turn to do 20 pushups and 30 flutter kicks!
lulz
I knew I liked Jake.
WOOOOOOO way to go Jake The Army Guy! fitting character for you
Only two chapters with him and im fucking LOVING Jake as a character! Dude don't give two shits about nothing!
I think that second sentence may have been grammatically incorrect...
Jake is incredible.
Also, Floydien's starting to remember. Don't know if this is good or bad.
-Spirit
I don't think that the Magic of Friendship can properly explain what occurred here. Where's Twilight when you need her.
5885642
The magic of friendship classifies this under the Nanoha Principle:
"Freindship Through Superior Firepower"
5924794 That sounds like a great name for an AU story or even an amusing episode.
Someone needs to write a fimfic story called "Friendship through superior firepower" Now
I hope they have spare...everything.
Bastion is a pony?! I guess that made their love even more scandalous.
Loved the "horseplay" bit.
YOU DON'T SCARE ME! WORK ON IT!