Yaerfaerda

by Imploding Colon

It's Mystery Jurist Theatre Three Thousand

"Don't be afraid," Ebon said, smiling in the orange glow of an Amulek sunset. "These ponies can be trusted as much as us—if not more!" He chuckled. "And, yes, I said 'ponies.' We are all ponies on the inside, no matter what our shells may look like to others. Don't ever think that you're lower than anyone else, and don't be afraid to make friends." He smiled. "After all, we all have very useful talents. I'm sure they can be used to make life here very pleasant, not to mention abroad."

Despite his warm speech, several of the changelings from Ether Point shifted nervously. They glanced at the three shape-shifters hovering in the shadow of the silver mountains, but not a single one made a move forward.

"It's alright!" Ebon exclaimed while Eagle Eye and Roarke watched on. "They're here to help you! Just as much as you're here to help them!"

"Help them?" one changeling glanced at Ebon with thin, glazed eyes. "How? Until a day ago, we all thought we were Rainbow Dash."

"What use could we possibly be?" another murmured. "We're lost."

"Not anymore, you're not," one of the three said, looking down at the crowd gathered around Whizzball. "Now that you're here, consider yourselves found."

"But... what do we have that you need?" one of them asked.

The changeling flying in the center shuddered, then said, "Family." Its wings batted limply. "We've lost so much. The l-love... we are starved... It... it..." The shape-shifter fumbled for words.

The one beside it spoke in a stronger tone. "We need to be together. We need to find a way to be strong without Mother. This landscape... this village is around t-thanks to us," it finally blurted.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Ebon remarked. "It's a very brave thing to finally admit." He turned towards the large group. "It'll be just as brave to admit that you have much to learn... just as these three have a need for you. This world can be made a better place... especially with us on Harmony's side."

The changelings murmured amidst one another. Gradually, their eyes flickered the same bright green. They trotted forward as the other three hovered down. Once they were within hoof's length, they leaned forward, nuzzling their siblings—then threw themselves in close to hug the trembling trio.

Eagle Eye held a pair of hooves over his mouth. He smiled with teary eyes at Ebon.

Ebon smiled back and leaned into Eagle Eye as he watched the reunion with a warm gaze.

Roarke was dead silent. Her thin blue eyes wandered toward the edge of the changeling cluster. She found that a single shape-shifter was staring back at her. There was a flash of orange freckles, and then the changeling jolted, trembling... and pretending to be fully invested in the three siblings that its group was being reunited with.

Roarke's brow furrowed. She was numb to whatever happened immediately after that, including Eagle Eye's cooing voice.

"This is beautiful, Ebon," the stallion said, nuzzling his coltfriend. "I think you've finally found your calling..."

---

"Dammit!" Josho grumbled from the kitchen. Pots and pans rattled along with splashes of water from the sink. "Where is Ebon when you need him?! I'm telling you—sending him back to Camel Lick was the absolute worst idea we've ever conjured up!"

Zaid cackled back. "He's off helping dozens of changelings get their groove back!"

"Yeah! And ruining dozens of my taste buds!" Josho growled. "'Send the ship's only cook off to be the changeling-whisperer in the far north!' Who's damn stupid idea was that?!"

"That damn stupid idea was Rainbow's, thank you," Belle retorted from the mess hall's table. "She's alive today because shape-shifters sacrificed their lives! It's the least any of the Jurists can do!"

"Heehee..." Kera giggled from her stool. "You just cussed, Belle!"

"Shhhh. Eat your peas, darling."

"I would if they looked like peas." The filly grimmaced, picking at her plate with a rattling fork. "Not these 'gerbil turds.'"

"Hey, Chef Obesity!" Zaid shouted towards the kitchen. "This is the fourth grilled cheese sandwich I've had to dig into with a jackhammer! Don't you know any flavor other than 'volcanic ash?!'"

"Screw you! Unless I get a book on 'Cooking for Cultist Idiots,' that's the best you're gonna get!"

"I've got a better idea!" Zaid smirked. "How about we scrape some of that sarcasm out from under your chins and use it for cooking oil?!"

"I'd take your flank to the woodshed if only I could climb my way out of this alfredo I'm making!"

"Josho, Ebon ran out of noodles before Eagle and Roarke took him to Amulek!" Belle exclaimed.

"... ... ...Oh!" A beat. "Then what in Ledo's furry navel am I cooking?"

Props scampered in, breathless. "Hey! Has anypony seen my mop? I think I left it in the kitchen."

Cl-Clank! Zaid dropped his grilled cheese like a brick. "That's it." He slumped forward, smiling tiredly. "This 'cultist' is fasting."

"I'm starting to feel rather penitent myself," Bellesmith muttered.

"Well, feel no more!" Props grinned. "Wait'll you see what the boys brought us!"

At that precise moment, Pilate and Booster Spice trotted briskly into the mess hall, balancing two large boxes on their flanks.

"We found something that just might spice up tonight's menu!" Booster exclaimed.

"Indeed," Pilate added with a smirk. Both stallions placed the boxes onto the table's edge. "This was among the gifts given us today."

"You mean from the villagers of Helaman?" Kera asked. "Wow, they must have really liked getting their foals back!"

"Kera! What a thing to say!" Belle exclaimed.

"Well, I figured if the kids were dumb enough to be kidnapped in the first place—"

"Kera..."

"What's in the box?!" Props bounced and bounced, ponytails flouncing. "What's in the box?!"

"Voila!" Booster pulled out a reel of film. "And five more just like it! It's about half their village's movie collection!"

"Movie?!" Josho stuck his head out, toweling his hooves off. "You mean... like holographic recordings?"

"Ha!" Booster winked through his goggles. "Maybe in your crazy land of crystals and blinking lights! But not here!" Grunting, he reached into a box and heaved out a projector. "No... th-this..." Thud! He slapped it down onto the table. "...is the age-old method! Lots of villages between here and Alafreo love to make photographic recordings and edit them together into motion pictures!"

"Oh, yes." Belle smiled. "I recall Kenna and Baxter from Blue Shelf having one or two such reels in their possession."

"Spark rest their souls," Pilate said.

"Mmmm... yes." Belle hung her head.

"Hey! This is a reason to cheer up!" Booster smirked. "Stumbling upon these things is like digging up treasure! And—God only knows—with three of our jurists situated far away, we could use the entertainment!"

"Won't get any complaints from me," Zaid yawned. "Or farts, for that matter."

"Well?! What are we waiting for?!" Kera hopped, grinning.

---

A white sheet hung across the lounge of the mess hall, against which a moving image constantly flickered. The Jurists had the chairs and stools turned so that they could face in the direction of the projected footage. Before them, two young adult stallions in black and white robes galloped wildly across a muddy plane wracked with mangled, dead trees.

"Uhhhhhhhhh..." Props blinked. "I don't get it!"

"I'd be able to get it if there was sound!" Kera pouted.

"Relax!" Booster said, his hooves propped up on the table as he reclined right next to the projector. "Not every village is as technological as Zulu."

"Xona."

"Whatever."

"Besides, this is a gift from the ponies of Helaman! Let's enjoy it for what it is!"

"Anything's a Spark-send, if you ask me," Josho grumbled. "Takes my mind off the fact that we're starving."

"Yeah! No thanks to you!" Zaid said.

"How'd you like a hoof up your nostrils for dessert?"

"Pfft! Please. You'd eat it before the punch was halfway thrown."

"Guysssss!" Props pouted. "Come on! I wanna enjoy the movieeee!"

"What's to enjoy?" Zaid gestured. "It's just two dudes running across a muddy plain at sunset." He blinked. "Ooops. Now they're crossing a bridge." He squinted. "Now they're... doing forward-flips off a hillside?"

"What are they even looking for?" Kera squeaked from where she lay on the floor.

"A passing grade," Josho said. "Hey, Bust-a-Move, I think you stuck us with some student art films!"

"It's not like they were labeled!" Booster Spice exclaimed, shrugging. "This was the very first reel I grabbed!"

"Heh..." Zaid smirked. "Makes you wonder just how 'random' their movie lineup gets."

"How do you mean?" Props asked.

"Well, in this one, we've got ponies galloping through mud." Zaid waggled his eyebrows. "Maybe the next reel will have ponies wrestling through mud... ponies with ovaries."

"Ha!" Booster grinned. "Not from a town named 'Helaman.'"

"Ha ha ha ha!" Zaid laughed.

"Was that really funny?"

"No, but food isn't the only thing I'm starved for, here."

"I wonder what they're saying," Kera murmured.

"Hmmmmm..." Props smirked. "'I know I left my wrench around here somewhere!'"

"'I would love to help you, brother!'" Zaid squeaked, impersonating the other stallion on screen. "'Do you know what color it is?!'"

"'Mud brown!''"

"'D'oh!'"

"Heeheeheee!"

Kera chimed in. "'It's okay, brother, we're looking for an outhouse too!'"

"'Oh yeah?! Where'd you last see it?'"

"'Second star to the right and straight on until flatulence!'"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Whoah!" Kera pointed. "That one guy just got tackled by a giant snake!"

"Pffft! More like a giant foam pillow!"

"Heeheehee! Look at him! He's wrestling the snake!"

"'Dang it! Not again!'"

"'I shouldn't have gone out cavorting during snake season!'"

"'Wait, this isn't right!'" Zaid grinned. "'This morning the weather pony said it was going to be partly cloudy with a thirty-percent chance of frogs!'"

"Heeheehee!"

"Heheheh... ahhhhhhhh buck me, this is silly."

"'Alas, robed boomers, we should have kept our eyes out for the serpent shimmer!'"

Booster did a double-take. "Mr. Floydien! I didn't realize you were here!"

"Hmmrff... it is fine fine." The ship's pilot smirked aside. "Most boomers don't notice the elk in the room."

"Well, it's a pleasure to have you join us!"

"If goggled boomer insists." Floydien glanced back at the footage. "These are some of the silliest ponies Floydien has ever seen."

"It sounds to me like they had just as much fun filming it as we do watching it," Pilate said.

Props glanced at him. "Ohhhh! Pilate!" She pouted. "I didn't even think about it! This must be super, super boring for you."

"Say nothing of the sort." The zebra grinned in her direction. "Turns out I can 'hear' the movie pretty well."

"Oh! Look! Look!" Zaid pointed as a shed opened up to a white-suited stallion with a bright light. "'Come unto me... my holy garden hose!'"

"Eeeeheee!"

"'We must wash this continent clean of goblins and their nose-hairs!'"

"Hah!" Kera grinned. "Like the ponies need anything but the Jury for that!"

"'For it was prophesied: the Skystone Twelve would save the day multiple times, then die tragically from Josho poisoning!'"

"Hahahaha!"

"Hey, Zaid. You wanna wrestle a real snake?"

"Ew. Not in this lifetime."

"Heheheh..."

From the far edge of the mess hall, Belle gazed at the group with a calm smile. Soon, her expression faded, for she realized that something... or somepony was missing. Her eyes darted to the portholes. The night sky shimmered outside with moonlight. With a nervous shuffle, she turned around and trotted down the hall, making her way to the top deck.

Author's Note:

Comments

[Arcanist Ascendant]

luckyleaf.com/Content/images/products/full/pie-filling_apple.png

[Pilate]

Ok.

[Pilate]

5076511
I approve of your reuse of my filler joke from two years ago.

[Sharp Quill]

Ok, what is it with changelings becoming AJ for Roarke?

[IceKitsune]

Time for Belle and RD to have another heart to heart. Loved the whole movie bit nice to see everyone relaxing and laughing it up.

[Swan Song]

"That damn stupid idea was Rainbow's, thank you," Belle retorted from the mess hall's table. "She's alive today because shape-shifters sacrificed their lives! It's the least any of the Jurists can do!"
"Heehee..." Kera giggled from her stool. "You just cussed, Belle!"
"Shhhh. Eat your peas, darling."

They're more like sisters than foster family. It's adorable.

"Wow, they must have really liked getting their foals back!"
"Kera! What a thing to say!" Belle exclaimed.
"Well, I figured if the kids were dumb enough to be kidnapped in the first place—"

Never change, Kera~

"Oh, yes." Belle smiled. "I recall Kenna and Baxter from Blue Shelf having one or two such reels in their possession."

[Moonlit Oasis]

I think Roark is getting jealous of AJ.

[Sivrem]

That was....something. Yes. All hail the mop.

[CasualMarshmallow]

Nice pick Booster.

[Super Trampoline]

This was a very disjointed chapter. I'm kind of sad that they weren't riffing the equestrian girls movie. Really a missed opportunity.

[Hoof of Approval]

Roarke... please tell us what's wrong, Roarke.

[Lightning Bearer]

I wonder what's up with Rainbow now. Missing Roarke? Or just another of her periodic existential flailings? And speaking of Roarke, that changeling/Applejack thing seems to wearing on her. The two of them need to have a heart to heart about it... whenever the hell they're together again.

[mrjerrio]

The cast may have said many names, but all I saw was Ponky and not Ponky.

[Nevlamas]

5076685 Yeah, what he said. In addition this is now a pop culture reference. I know we had those before. But we were not those before.

"'Alas, robed boomers, we should have kept our eyes out for the serpent shimmer!'"

He's so great.

[Eyes of Avo]

That authors note.... That trailer was so cringe worthy it think I strained something I definitely like the jury's take on it better.

[Booster Spice]

Ahh, the intelligent realise they are incapable of coking, so go out for takeaway.

Yaay.. Pizza.

Wait, the doctor told me to cut down on my cellulite.

Wow.. Spy Vs Spy. I havent seen this in years. Wait, wheres the kaboom, there was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom.

Nobody, expects the elkinnaroom.

Hold on, hold the phone, someones missing, calling home?

Or, just singing along with the mice.

Somewhere. Out there, Beneath a pale moonlight.

I forgot there were two chapters posted this time

[not_a_rainbow]

authors note? what can this mean?

[FloydienSlip]

Hello, Anziano Burton. It's been a while.

[Cynderfall]

Movie night!

[VNilla]

??? This was a strange chapter.

[Altair4]

MJT3K! Awesome sauce. :)

[remnants]

Remember to repeat to yourself "It's just a fanfic, I should really just relax"

good old mst3k

[CraftAids]

So, some people made some sup-par cinematography and voice acting
and mocking that is a whole chapter of yesfarda?
This is just the kind of weird thing you would do.
Sure, why not?

[Hap]

Knock knock.

[Jex]

This ugh actually be one of my new favorite chapters. We get so much awesomeness and flank-kicking that just watching the Jury sit back and be stupid is really... sweet, honestly.

[Swan Song]

5076515 Did you actually dig into comments from two years ago to find that?

[TwilightUCrazy]

Roarke was dead silent. Her thin blue eyes wandered toward the edge of the changeling cluster. She found that a single shape-shifter was staring back at her. There was a flash of orange freckles, and then the changeling jolted, trembling... and pretending to be fully invested in the three siblings that its group was being reunited with.

[whizzball1]

I love it when the Jury just sits around and has some good, slice of life fun.

-Spirit

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

I'm sure this would have been a funnier chapter had I know the reference. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

[Sharp Quill]

5868730

Here's the reference: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Can't believe I failed to point it out myself when I first read this chapter. But I must have, because I only complained about changeling behavior.

[aRestlessCreativeGamer]

im starting to really not like that changeling. we need no ApplelingxRoarke, Rainboarke is good

[**Beert]

This is weird.

[Seraphimus]

6045229 Okay! I can help explain this scene for you! I understand it might be hard to understand joke with English not being your first language.

They are watching a movie, But it has No sound. Because it has no sound They do not know what is going on either, or why the things in the movie are happening. So, in order to make it more fun/amusing, The jurists, as a group started to come up with their own dialogue for the movie Based on what they are seeing in the scene, But because they don't actually know what is going on, All the Dialogue they come up with is really silly.

Dunno if my explanation helps or makes it funnier or if I'm just misinterpreting You finding it strange for not understanding what is going on, but yeah that's what is going on.

[Tim the Planes-pony]

Very good friends watching a very bad movie with no sound, and having an absolute hoot of a time doing it. This is definitely one of the better moments in the series.

[Hazard]

Is it moon time? Silent film commentary is the best.

[Metal Aura]

6045229 And how many books did it take for you to notice this?

[Rudy45]

Funny Floydien is best Floydien.

[TheGreatEater]

6045229
6069350

Kind of like Bad Lip Reading on youtube.

A few good examples:

[horrifically funny in parts.]

or

[one of the only appropriate songs they have up.]

[arancaytar]

After all, we all have very useful talents. I'm sure they can be used to make life here very pleasant

*Checks content rating*

[arancaytar]

Maybe the next reel will have ponies wrestling through mud... ponies with ovaries."
"Ha!" Booster grinned. "Not from a town named 'Helaman.'"

Wait, if all those villages are actually Maremons, then maybe Val Roa just closed its borders because they were fed up with missionaries.

[Tim the Planes-pony]

Still a great chapter, even if it is filler. Josho learns to appreciate the cook more, and everyone relaxes as best they can.

06/18/2017
14:32 UTC

[Ponky]

Rico Suave.

Nice.

[Yami Vizzini]

Here's hoping they have a copy of Who Killed Captain Alex? in that box too.

[Prism Break]

"Oh, yes." Belle smiled. "I recall Kenna and Baxter from Blue Shelf having one or two such reels in their possession."

Can someone remind me as to what their ultimate fate was?

[Quirky View]

What did I just watch?

[FOXTrot2]

"Relax!" Booster said, his hooves propped up on the table as he reclined right next to the projector. "Not every village is as technological as Zulu."

Ah, so THATS what they're language is based on.
Fufufu

[hypervelocity]

What on Earth...

[Sarraceno]

Wow.... that's "Call of the Wintermoon" level of filmography

[Level Dasher]

8434369
...Isn't that one of yours?