Orthoptera Caelifera, What a Wonderful Phrase
“Don't look now, but here comes the peasant express,” Constable Jake said.
Floydien turned and squinted across the shadow-laden courtyard flanking the High Council building.
Three mares trotted up, wearing identical gowns and hoods. Coming to a stop, the pony in the center peeked her muzzle out. “Okay... we got a lead for the Noble Jury to investigate beyond the West Gate,” Rainbow Dash said. “Now I need to get to Shepherd's Rock somehow.”
“Color wheel boomer...” Floydien blinked. “Your color wheel is color wheeling.”
Rainbow tucked her prismatic strands of hair into the hood. “Look. I'll deal with that later. Can you guys get me to the southern edge of the city?”
“Shepherd's Rock?” Jake cocked his head aside, blinking. “Pomegranates! You'll wanna take the southeast reaches! That way you can trot along the Grand Cleft and make it to the Rock by Sundown.”
“So long as you get me to a southern district—any southern district, then I can just fly the rest of the way.” Rainbow Dash pointed at the darkening horizon to the west. “The sun's going down. By the time we reach there, it should be dark enough for me to fly to the location of the secret meeting without being seen.”
“Ah. Right.” Jake bore a drooling smile. “I forgot that you were a magical sky horse.”
“Rainbow Dash,” Mamunia reached in, tapping the pegasus' shoulder. “We'd better return to the lobby, just in case the Duchess needs us.”
“Yeah. Good call.” Rainbow nodded. He turned towards the two bucks. “You think you guys can return here to the Sandstone District in time to drive Her Majesties back to Plaza Topaz?”
“Damn straight.”
“How will blue boomer return?” Floydien asked.
“Duh. I'll just fly back to the Plaza after listening in on Sharp Quill and company.” She smirked. “There's been no sign of Fishberry since Kera went medieval on the High Council, so you can bet her deer feathers are ruffled. As for Saikano... I can only hope he'll show up too. I wanna get a good angle on that guy.”
“It sounds like much shimmer stab.” Floydien frowned. “Color wheel boomer really should have Floydien join her.”
“Nah...” Rainbow shook her head. “Thanks for the offer, but this is a job for a quick flier like yours truly. Besides, if they caught you there, who knows what could happen. Fishberry might freak out to see the Duke of Sehlp again. Also, there's Saikano.”
Floydien blinked. “What about the boomer?”
“Well I figured that... with his daughter being... with you and...” Rainbow fidgeted.
Floydien's nostrils flared.
Rainbow gulped. “Right. Let's just get this over with, shall we?”
“That's Grade A butt-whomping in my book!” Jake was already hitching himself to the carriage. “Saddle up, pantywaist. More street urchins will hop out of our way if two boneheads are drawing the wagon.”
“Nnnngh...” Floydien nevertheless fitted himself to the carriage beside Jake.
“Good luck!” Jet hissed before she and Mamunia dashed back towards the front entrance under the penumbra of evening.
“So... shit got shaken up in there, eh?” Jake remarked.
“Ohhhhhhh yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, settling inside the wagon and disrobing of her gown. “Ran into a few soul sentries while snooping around Fishberry's office.”
“Porcupine pricks!” Jake gasped, smiling wide. “You for real?!”
“Yup.”
“And you lived?”
“Yup yup.”
“Wow, you're one crap-lucky squirrel!”
“And I don't know whether to be worried or glad.”
“Why do you spit so?” Floydien asked, drawing the cart along with Jake.
“For hours after the Council ended, there's been no word of the 'security breach,'” Rainbow said. “Seems like I had a clean getaway. So clean, that Fishberry's own security doesn't want to admit it.”
“Or just Fishberry.”
Rainbow sighed. “Hopefully things will become clear at Shepherd's Rock.”
“Assuming the jerkensteins still want to meet there,” Jake said. “You've rattled their hornets nest quite a bit.”
“I don't know if I have anything else to stand on. I'm hoping they're just as desperate as I am.”
“What about tiny boomerette?” Floydien asked.
“Who?” Rainbow peeked her head through the wagon's curtains. “Kera?”
“Yes yes yes...”
“I dunno. Last time I saw her, she was blending in with the banquet crowd,” Rainbow said. After a sigh, she smiled. “But Belle and Arcanista have trained her well. I'm certain I'll have no fear of her screwing things up or embarrassing herself.”
“Mrmmmf-schmmmopp-scrrffkkk!” Kera scarfed another grasshopper down her gullet. A combed leg or two spilled out across her tattooed muzzle, and she rubbed it off with a jerking hoof. “Mrmmmfff—mmm-mmm! I didn't realize these suckers could get so juicy this far into the desert!”
Eine sat across a long, long table from her in a cozy little dining room. He blinked at her ravenous antics. “I... I-I wouldn't know,” he said. “I've always found insects completely distasteful.”
“Hah!” Kera paused long enough to breathe and smile. “How ironic.”
“How so?”
She froze in mid-munch, blinking. “Uhhhhhh...” Crunch! She gulped a pulpy morsel down. “Forget I said anything. You wouldn't be able to swallow one of those drones if you tried.”
Eine's eyes narrowed. He smiled. “You possess a fascinating character, Princess Kera...”
“Kera Tin Mehjj.” She smirked aside. “I know. Rolls off the tongue, right?” She lifted a partially bitten specimen and grinned. “Among other things.” She proceeded to gulp it down.
Eine couldn't help it. He looked away with a cold shudder. After several deep breaths, he steeled himself, murmured a few words of courage, then turned to smile at her again.
“I imagine you find Val Roan customs to be fascinating as well,” Eine said. “Not to mention strange and perhaps even bizarre.”
“Eh...” Kera dug through the remaining platter of garnished insects. “It's alright.” A tiny belch escaped her lips, and she slapped a hoof over her silk-laden chest. “Not sure I'd wanna vacation here, but the deer and ponies are super nice. So that's nifty.”
“What a... unique choice of words.”
“Hey, if there's no point in using them, then don't say 'em at all.” She gobbled another grasshopper down, her eyelids fluttering blissfully.
Eine paced around the table slowly. “Your... appreciation for Val Roa is a relief to hear,” the little fawn said. “I imagine it must take a great deal of strength and fortitude to cross the lengths and distances you have to warn a country as foreign as ours about the looming threat.”
“Oh... heh... believe me...” Kera grinned tiredly. “I've traveled a lot.”
“And you must have left a lot behind,” Eine remarked. “A Princess of your standing is a precious asset.”
“Heh... I'm all pony,” Kera said. “Not a single drop of donky blood. I swear.”
“Hmmm?” Eine blinked. “Oh. No no no, I mean that you're—”
“Is that tartar sauce?”
“I... I-I would assume so.”
“Heh...” Kera smirked, reaching across the table. “And you call yourself the caterer's son.”
“Eheheheh...” Eine smiled awkwardly.
“Just how old are you anyways, kid?”
“I... I-I am nearly my thirteenth year.”
“Hah! No kidding!” Kera dipped a grasshopper in the sauce, took a bite, and moaned inwardly. “Hmmmm... heh... funny, that! I hear the Prince of this kingdom is turning thirteen soon.”
“I do believe that's a currently developing event, yes.”
“Well, you sure as heck don't look thirteen.”
“I don't?”
“Mrmmmff... unless 'thirteen' in deer years is—like—eight in pony years!”
“Uhm... I believe the common physiology of deer and elk maintains a predominant growth spurt in their early twenties—”
“I'm just saying. If I had legs as scrawny as yours, I'd be afraid to walk across the street for fear of them snapping like twigs.”
“Yes. Indeed.” Eine breathed deeply. “Your Majesty, if I may be so bold to ask...” He glared. “Are you or are you not the same princess who spoke so eloquently to the High Council earlier this morning?”
“Heh...” Kera smirked, eyes rolling. “Get a load of the horns on you.”
Eine bit his lip. He reached a cloven hoof up, feeling his tiny nubs with a blushing expression.
“Okay... look...” Kera leaned back from the plate and glanced at him slyly. “Between you and me, there's only so much I can stand of this whole... etiquette nonsense.”
“Nonsense?” Eine blinked. “Your Majesty, if we do not behave ourselves as proper representatives of our kingdoms—”
“Lemme tell you a thing or two about my kingdom.” Kera glared. “Xonans love war. We slice up our kids barely weeks after foaling so that their flesh can 'sing songs' to our serpent goddess Nagu'n or whatever. We have a stupid caste system that turns our language into piecemeal diarrhea in order to maintain the social structure of crazy.”
“That sounds...” Eine winced. “...unpleasant.”
“Ain't no romp through the daisies, lemme tell you,” Kera said. “For generations and generations, we lived our lives like stiff-necked jerks, treating each other like garbage and laying all our hate and anger on the Ledomaritans.”
“Are... those the ponies you warred with?”
“Pffft! We would have pathed the streets with their blood if they ever let up with their stupid managliders. All in all, both our kingdom and theirs would have been happy enough to have bled each other to death. But then... well...” Kera stared down at the plate. “That all changed.”
Eine narrowed his eyes. “The beast... the metamorph snuck in.”
“Yuh huh...” Kera slowly nodded. “I know what you're thinking. 'This monster did those losers a favor.'” She sighed. “Truth is, this freakjob only made things worse. She took what was already horrible about both warring nations and cranked it up... way waaaaaaay up. Ponies were being murdered by the second. Entire populations of peasants were sacrificing themselves. And then there was the experimentation on Ledomare's side, plus the assassination of big name officials who were replaced by the monster's drones...” Her words trailed off, and ultimately she muttered, “And she even sent a psychopath to a humble little village that didn't wish anything bad on anypony. Just... Xonans and non-Xonans, living together in harmony... the way the should have.” She gulped. “All of us...”
Eine raised an eyebrow.
Kera's face tigthened into an angry scowl, then softened. At last, she breathily said, “No, the monster didn't do us any good. Exposing her did. And that's when we discovered how truly awful we've been this whole time. There was... j-just no point to the misery and violence. After all, the only thing that profited from that was her. She feeds off it. And with her gone, we realized that we could afford a happier life... a better life.” She glanced over at Eine. “We've since made peace with Ledomare, and our countries are now living under a permanent cease fire. But as awesome as that all is, it doesn't change the fact that the monster escaped, and now we have every reason to believe that something super evil... super cruel is nesting here. In fact, she's been nesting in here the whole time.”
“And so the Xonan Empire sent its only heir to our land to warn us.”
“Heh... I'm not the only one.”
“Oh?” Eine leaned back, blinking. “You have an older sibling?”
“Hmmm? Oh. Yeah. Uhhhhh... Lasairfion.” Kera smiled. “You see, the monster was impersonating her. Snuck alllllll the way in to the Royal Family! Can you believe that?”
Eine shuddered. “That... is most alarming...” He gulped.
“Heh. You're telling me.”
“Has your father or mother estimated the total damages this beast has caused?”
“Heh... nah, you don't get it,” Kera said. “They're not around.”
“The... Emperor and Empress are out of state?”
“No, I mean... they're gone. They're not anywhere.”
“They are... deceased.”
Kera opened her mouth, but paused. Clearing her throat, she glanced down and smoothed the folds of her dress. “Yes. Dead. Both of them.”
Eine exhaled slowly. “I am very sorry to hear that, Your Majesty.”
“Hey. It happens.” Kera smirked. “Good thing Lasairfion's around to pick up the ball.”
Eine bore a gentle smile. “You appear to have your own brand of courageous fortitude.”
“Yeah yeah. I'm not big on the whole princess shtick, but when it comes to Chry—” Kera hissed. “Er... when it comes to this monster, I'm not about to back down from warning the rest of the world. So... yeah... I did the whole speech thing before the High Council today. If you think it sounded all prim proper, then good. That was the point. For some reason, you gotta be stiff as a bored in order to be taken seriously around here. You know what I mean?”
“Hmmmm...” He smiled. “I do believe so.”
“If I had my way, I'd just be running through the streets, screaming at everydeer to run for their lives.”
“Is the danger that imminent?” Eine asked, leaning his head to the side. “From this beast?”
“Dude.” Kera glanced at him. “If you could make yourself into any deer or pony or ostrich that you wanted, what would you become? Who would you become?!” Kera shrugged. “You could be friggin' anybody! And who's to know?!”
“I... shudder at the thought,” Eine said.
“Heck... you know what I think?” Kera grinned.
“You... you h-have an idea who the monster might be?”
“Heh. Yeah! And it's a real doozy too.”
“Go on, Your Majesty.” Eine leaned forward. “I'm all ears.”
She smirked devilishly. “I think it's the Prince!” she whispered hoarsely. “Wouldn't that twist all the right panties?”
Eine exhaled. “I very much doubt it's him.”
“Heh... oh yeah? Why?” Kera lifted another grasshopper. “You his advisor or something?”
Eine opened his mouth, but suddenly his pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks. A pale sheen covered his features as his lips trembled.
“Mrmmmff...” Kera bit on a juicy insect. “Well?”
“Erm... n-nonsense...” Eine stammered to say, smiling crookedly. “I'm his caterer-in-training!”
“Hah! Mrmmmff... small world!”
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...Wut.
Okay, not Chryssy, but definitely under her influence somehow.
First thing I thought of: i.imgur.com/k20Xyu7.gif
5305368
Me too.
She's the best damn squirrel around.
Hmm, so Kera hasn't blown it by talking all normal to the Prince. Hmm...
Twenty close-hand pushups, ):(. Knock 'em out!
Mentlegen...
There's a shitstorm a'brewin'. I can sense it.
I'm almost ready to press the big red button that says "I called it".
wat
Uh huh.
Kera agrees with me!
So why is this his reaction to having to explain why he's not the monster?
5305537
^ This is why. I still am really not feeling like he's Chrissy. In fact, what with all the whole "going north" BS and stuff...
omg
Winree is Chrysalis.
Also, Kera is incredibly insightful this chapter. Equal parts spunk and sage. Swan Song approves.
Can't wait for Lasarfion to swing by and screw it all up for the Jury.
I'm lovin' it.
5305537
Because then he'd have to explain he's the Prince.
5305368 That's her thinking face.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121117215740/mlp/images/f/fa/Rainbow_Dash_head_scratch_S3E3.png
Just imagine that icon being her face every time her brain short-circuits. In the context of the show, it's easy to imagine her having longer loading times than any of her friends. Ironic that Applejack and Big Macintosh don't run into that problem as often.
Well it looks like despite her essentially dropping the act, she is still basically keeping her cover for now. She really does have a lot of insight into things that are going on, I just wonder if she will figure out exactly who she is talking to soon. Really stuff like this chapter is why Kera is one of my favorite OCs in this story; her along with both Belle and Pilate have to be some of my favorite OCs in this whole fandom.
5305368
Hah nice!
5305764 AJ and Big Mac came equipped with Core i7s and SSDs.
5305916
And Dash comes with a PA6T (F35 CPU) running AOS. which is why the speed, reaction, and crashing at the slightest screw up.
Oh dear, Erik the deer fellow, on the mention of Assistant, has just had the thought. Sharp Quill. He now wishes he hadnt played Alien Breed.
Dash is heading South (Aint so much else also) Wizball North, Jury West (gate) And Prowse fleet East?
Things are coming together steadily, with increasing effect. Sort of like certain heavy metals.
Okay, so she's not totally ditching her cover, but still. Consistency consistency constancy, Kera.
I'm definitely not feeling that Eine is Chrysalis, unless she's just better at what she does than I thought. I'm thinking Rainbow's mission will provide more interesting revelations, but even so, getting a hoof into the court on Kera's end can't hurt.
... can it?
It would be, to a certain pretend princess.
5306397 I had to search that up to know what it means!
Looks like Kera doesn't understand the meaning of maintaining character.
What do you know, Kera actually managed to cover for the inconsintency. Not bad.
Incidentally, we've just passed 1,7 million words.
I still think that Val Roan politics needs very little help to be corrupt.
I think Chryssi wasn't as active in Val Roa as everyone thinks she was. After all, she was hiding there. It does not benefit you to cause mayhem where you're hiding out.
She's probably dug herself in somewhere really remote. Maybe even out in the Choke. That's probably why Ebon can't sense her in Val Roa. We know the choke does that magical interference stuff .
Grasshoppers and all that lies beyond. Kera is not doing bad, after all.
Now we need to see a little more of Roarke Medium Rare.
So what, am I interpreting this correctly, they are only sometimes controlled by her, like a curse that forbids to do certain things or the likes, and apart from that still free and acting on their own motifs? Because Eine's reaction just now was far too lively to be natural whereas his behaviour apart from that quite clearly goes against Chrysalis' own interests.
I do like how we're all ignoring the simple fact that,if chrysalis wanted to hide from a rogue drone like Ebon, what's stopping her from blocking whatever it is that lets the drones know of her presence?
She is the queen, if it's a magical signature then masking or disguising it should be entirely within her power, if it's pheromones, well the drones have demonstrated the ability to change their blood colour, whose to say Chryssy couldn't alter her pheromones?
This isn't an illusion or a glamour spell, this is shapeshifting, likely copying genetic code as well. If Chryssy didn't want to be found, it's wholly possible that she could just vanish into a sea of ponies, and a drone like Ebon would be none the wiser.
You don't look so well, Eine. Maybe some grasshoppers would make you feel be-
images.encyclopediadramatica.se/6/6c/Furries_-_BLAAAARG.gif
Got it in one.
5306114
That's an interesting thing I hadn't noticed. It probably doesn't mean anything, but the small details like this are nice.
5305575 Why would my turning up with a metric buckton of warships screw things up? I'm the older royal, backing up the little sister with some fire-power just in time right? Fits the story just fine.
Somepony's scorin' brownie points with the royal caterer...
5308120 Exactly. Now that Kera's covered that base with someone of authority that we are fairly sure isn't Chryssie it's not as much of a problem. Unless someone forgets to tell Prowse that and the Xonans go against Kera's word. Then it throws Kera in as a suspect for Chryssie in the minds of the elk whose feathers she just ruffled.
I think Chrysalis' influence over Val Roa is of the hypnotism/brainwashing kind, just like in the season 2 finale.
The brainwashed characters act completely normal, until they end up in some kind of situation where Chrysalis' mind conditioning sets in. This means virtually anyone can be one of Chrysalis' agents, and it's a lot more difficult to tell than just looking for suspicious behavior. Characters can turn on the cast out of nowhere. Some probably don't even know they've been brainwashed.
Sorry for the doublepost. Fimfiction doesn't like my tablet.
5309274 It's an interesting question if canon changeling abilities apply to IC's changelings. In this story, a changeling can become a perfect copy. That was not true in A Canterlot Wedding. Twilight knew Cadance was a fake because she did not know their secret greeting. Chrysalis wasn't really doing a good job acting like Cadance either.
That's not to say Chrysalis in this story doesn't have those abilities, but it hasn't been shown to be the case so far. Chrysalis did not hypnotize Rainbow Dash when she would have had the opportunity, for example, back in Xona, nor is there any known case of a pony being hypnotized instead of being replaced (perfectly) by a drone. Changelings in this story are very much AU.
Pffft. Will you two just kiss already! Oh my I love the interactions between Kera and Eine.
So basically, "Hey look at this".
he knows something
So Kera's saved it--she's not the only heir, and since she's younger it's much more excusable for her to act more loose.
She doesn't have to be uptight all the time.
-Spirit
This is going to be fun. I just hate how Kera is so oblivious. Oh well, this is a more preferred outcome anyway.
Kera's character breaking could cause problems at some point.
5948324 I think it'll be good, because as much as he's a tad weirded out I think the prince totally gets where she is coming from. Having to be all prim and proper ALL THE TIME, especially for someone whom is still just a kid. when's the last time he just got to have fun?
Also, He's a really terrible liar. Lol
Chrysalis knew the jurists were coming. She expected them, and has probably figured them into her plan. I think Fishberry's reaction was a decoy.
As for Eine, I'm not discounting the possibility that Chrysalis has at least some hold on him, but I think it's something else which has him in a fuss...perhaps some dots in his head just connected and he didn't like the implications.
5948324 The same can be said of any character's actions in the past few chapters.
C'mon, Kera!
Apparently I'm on Kera's wavelength.
It means grasshoppers
For the rest of your days
Don't call Kera an asset, if you don't want her to kick yours.
Also there's some delicious hilarity in Kera pretending to be royal and Eine pretending not to be.
5305537 She sorta kinda did mention how the empire she hails from was all about bloodshed and war and she wants to find said third party culprit.
I dunno bout you (I know this is an old comment) but I would be nervous if someone or somepoNY implied possible death as a war criminal.
7:29 p.m. MST 6/26/2017
I love how Kera keeps doing absolutely ridiculous shit that somehow turns out better than expected. Hopefully her luck doesn't run out for a while yet.
Kera is really the daughter of Pilate in all the wrong ways. Where he is discerning and attentive, she's just blind.
Also, where did she pick up talking so much about panties and underwear? Zaid? Josho? ... ... Skirrrrrrts?
I doubt it Rainbow.
Eine jumped on the 'Sharp Quill is evil' train, I see.