Act Two of the Grasshopper Comedy
“Mmmmf... hrnnnnghhh!” Kera shoved and pushed at a stone panel with her glowing horn. As she exposed a long narrow passageway beyond, she was pelted by a wave of foul air. “Eeeungh!” She stumbled backwards, her horn's light dancing all across the grimy stone walls. She spotted a slender trench filled with viscous muck, running the full length of the dark passage. “What the hay did we just stumble into?”
“The... the Val Roan...” Eine leaned against a wall, wheezing for breath. He gulped. “The Val R-Roan sewer system...”
“Like... for all of Val Roa?” Kera asked. “The whole city?”
Eine tiredly nodded. “Yes. The secret royal passage is supposed to lead to all hidden avenues of the city, for the purpose of a departure under emergency circumstances.”
“Well, I can't think of an emergency more emergent than this one!” Kera stammered. “And, lemme guess, you've never been down here before?”
Eine slowly shook his head.
“Well, fluff your nostrils, Your Majesty.” Kera stepped forward, trotting along the edge of the filthy trench. “Looks like you're about to get to know your subjects inside out... or maybe just their insides without.” She trotted ahead for half-a-minute until she realized she was trotting alone. Nervously, she spun around and dashed back, her tattered skirts flouncing. She found the Prince right where she left him. “Uhhhh... maybe you didn't hear me, but that was sewer speak for 'Move your white tail while it's still white.'”
Eine stood where he was, clinging to the wall and glaring into the muck.
Kera sighed. “Look, I'm no fan of the muck myself, but we gotta deal! Would you rather stay behind and wait for Sharp Quill to find you and plant your head on the banquet hall or something?!”
Slowly, Eine's glaring face rose to meet Kera's gaze. “Who are you, really?”
“Huh?” Kera blinked. “Look, dude, haven't we been through all of this already?!”
“I know what we've been through,” Eine said. “And, quite frankly, it's not enough to stand on.” His eyes narrowed. “You're not a Princess, are you?”
Kera was silent.
“Just who... or what are you?”
Kera took a seething breath. “Alright, you wanna know who I am?” She swung a hoof. “I'm just a foal who stumbled into some bad company... and then some really good company... and then some bad company again... but then back into the supremely awesome company.” She stomped her hooves, frowning. “And now I am in some really stinky cruddy company and I would really appreciate it if you moved your royal keister!” She spat. “I don't wanna end up as deer food either, y'know?!”
“The Xonan Empire... the legacy of Lasairfion...” He glared at her. “It was all a grand fabrication, wasn't it?”
Kera sighed long and hard. “Look... I am Xonan. These tattoos aren't exactly painted on.” She looked up at him. “And there is a 'Lasairfion.' I met her myself, only briefly. But about me having a crown and being a Princess'n'such? Yeahhhhhhhhh...” She glanced aside, fidgeting. “Not quite so legit. But, like, was there ever any friggin' doubt?!”
“All this time that we spoke with each other, you were deceiving me with this regal pretense!” Eine snarled. “And now you expect me to follow you through the belly of my city to some unknown destination?!”
“Well, it's not like you were completely honest with me either, bucko!” Kera grumbled in her face. “I'm not the only kid in this world who resorts to candied words and grasshoppers, isn't that right, 'Caterer's Son?'”
“That?!” Eine blinked. “Th-that was to learn more about the threat to my kingdom!”
“And would you have believed any of it if you didn't believe the whole time that I was heir to the Xonan Throne?!”
“You deliberately lied to me!” Eine exclaimed. “To the whole High Council!”
“Yeah, and I hadn't?!” Kera retorted. “Where would you be now, huh? On the receiving end of Sharp Quill's evil jerkness! Or maybe you're forgetting who totally whisked your helpless fanny away from those melon fudges back there?!”
Eine bit his lip gazing away from her. “I don't know what to believe anymore. You lied to me about who you are... about who you were with...”
“But the one thing that's totally true is that a super nasty monster named Queen Chrysalis is trying to snuff you out and tear this kingdom to shreds!” Kera's voice cracked. “Look, my buddies and I could have just flown our way straight into the Grand Choke and ignored the crap going down here in Val Roa, but we couldn't! We've crossed paths with her more than once, and we're... kind of sort of responsible for her losing her old abilities and having to change tactics.” She shuddered. “The Changeling Queen is our responsibility. And right now, right here, you are my responsibility!”
“Your... responsibility?”
“Well, you sure as crap aren't going to defend yourself, are you, Mr. Weak-In-The-Knees?!”
“I...” Eine folded his forelimbs. “I-I have basic combat training!”
Kera tapped his chest.
“Waaaaiiie!” Thud! The Prince fell on his haunches, nearly rolling over into the sewage.
Kera sighed. “Need I say more?”
“Now see here...” Eine struggled to his hooves, frowning. “I may not yet be a prime specimen of peak physical prowess, but I'm still Prince of this land! And there's nothing I desire more than the safety of my kingdom!”
“Then buck-up, follow me, and—best of all—shut your trap!”
“And I refuse to!” He spat, stomping a hoof. “For months, my life has been nothing but a charade! I've been coddled, deceived, and minimized! If not you, then by Sharp Quill and all his servants! I am simply nauseated by the sheer degree to which subjects have been lying to me left and right, telling me that I'm incapable of accomplishing that which this nation requires!”
“And, yeah,that totally sucks!” Kera gestured. “But in case you haven't noticed, I'm the one pony trying to keep you in one piece!”
“Just why should I trust you?! How does that make it any different than what Sharp Quill's been trying to do to me ever since... ever s-since...” He leaned back, seething. His yellow eyes clenched shut as he muttered, “When the King and Queen perished... when my father and mother passed away... I did not have time to grieve. I instantly knew the enormity of the future that lay before me. I've had to bear that burden all this time on my lonesome. I thought Sharp Quill an ally, but all this time—”
“The dude was probably just feeding off your feelings, buddy,” Kera said in a slightly warmer tone. “That's totally a Chrysalis thing. Absorbing your emotions, good or bad.”
“Do you even know what it means to feel so helpless... to have so much weight thrust upon you and not being strong enough... c-courageous enough to handle it?” Eine sniffled, nevertheless shaking his head until he stood tall again. “All I've wanted to do was find my own way to ensure the safety of Val Roa, and it simply burns to find out that I've been deceived yet again at the end of it all. Dearest Kera—if that is truly your real name—I am grateful for what you've done to spare my life, but forgive me if I'm reticent to continue with this ridiculous game any longer. It feels as though, no matter what I do, Val Roa just slips further and further away from my grasp.”
Silence.
Kera trotted towards him. “You asked if I knew what it meant to feel helpless... like I wasn't strong or courageous enough to do anything.” Her nostrils flared. “Well, it so happens I do. Let's be blunt, here. I've lived something of a cruddy life. I've lived it awesomely, for the most part, because I'm me.” She smirked briefly, but soon sighed. “But it still doesn't change the fact that when I thought I had everything good going for me, I had...” She gulped. “I-I had my whole entire life burnt to the ground in the span of hours.” She glared across the corridor lit by her horn. “It took me a long time to deal with the sense of pain and loss that I was forced to carry around. Today, it still stings. All the death I've seen... the l-lives that I could maybe... maybe have saved by just not crossing paths with them...” Her eyes glazed over as she trembled somewhat.
Eine stared at her intently.
At last, with a tight frown, she glared his way once again. “I'm not here to give you a pep talk. What's happened to you really... really sucks, Your Highness, but dwelling on it isn't enough to fix things. The solution isn't always easy, but that's what makes it awesome. My friends and I are here to make a difference in your kingdom. Why? Because we've seen how truly bad stuff can get, and we wanna prevent that. And part of it involves getting you to someplace safe. Maybe you're too ticked off and flankhurt over your situation to see that now, but I don't give a crap. Yeah, I'm sorry for lying to you, but nopony said that what we're trying to do here was gonna be easy. I had to sneak under Chrysalis' radar, not just yours. And now, we both gotta sneak past her together. So could you save the bitter hatred for later?”
“I n-never said it was bitter hatred.”
“Then just what is it, Your Highness?!” Kera growled, stomping a hoof. “What's keeping us stuck here?!”
The sewers fell quiet.
Eine sighed. “Have you... r-really had to deal with something like the loss of my mother and father?” he asked.
“No two losses are the same,” she said, shaking her head. “But I've been through some tough crud.”
“And you've made it through?” Eine leaned his head aside. “To become who and what you are now?”
“Yeah, I guess. What of it?”
He gazed at her. “I wish Sharp Quill could have led me by such an example.” He sighed. “Maybe I would have gained enough confidence to see through his lies sooner.”
“Yeah, well...” Kera shrugged. “That totally sucks, but we're not going to deal with it by just staying here.”
“I know. “ Eine nodded. “I may be unsure about your motivations, but I'm quite impressed by your integrity.”
“Jee, thanks.”
Eine blinked. “What?”
“Even when you compliment somepony, it comes out all stiff and boring.”
“Look, I was simply—”
“Whatever. Are we done huffing sewage?”
“Erm... yes... I-I suppose.” Eine gulped. “Do we have a plan in mind?”
“Yeah.” Kera nodded. “We head towards the Sandstone District.”
“The Sandstone District?” Eine blinked. “Don't we wish to leave Val Roan city limits if Sharp Quill's Soul Sentries are pursuing us?”
“Look, I've got friends at Plaza Topaz,” Kera said. “Duchess Arcanista. Rainbow Dash. Midnite Bastion. I just know that if we meet up with them, then we can use you—like—as a silver bullet against this whole conspiracy! I mean, think about it! Sharp Quill and his freaky pals are stuck in all the high places with their tails up, and then you'd roll up to the High Council and start the hoof-pointing! It'll be a gas!”
“Please...” Eine winced, waving a hoof in front of his nose as he eyed the sewage. “Don't say 'gas.'”
“But first thing's first.” Taking a deep breath, Kera started wriggling backwards through her gown.
Eine recoiled. “What... are you doing?”
Fwoomp! “Aaaaaaaah...” Kera tossed her mane, slipping out of the rumpled dress. “That's more like it!” She tossed the silken ensemble into the trench, then tossed her “regal” accessories into the mix, assisting in the dress' sinkage into the muck. “Couldn't stand another minute in that dang thing. Whew!” She kicked her little hooves. “Now I can really move!”
Eine refused to look at her, visibly wincing.
“Oh come on!” Kera scoffed. “You know darn well I'm not a Princess! What's the big deal?”
“It's just...” He shuddered. “So sudden.”
“A lot of things in life are. You ready to deal?”
He stared at her. The fawn squinted.
Minutes later, a royal vest and bandoleer found their way into the muck, sinking along with the dress. Shivering slightly, Eine trotted after Kera. Together, guided by Kera's glowing horn, the two children navigated their way south through the deep sewers of Val Roa.
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Wow, not even the second date and they're already taking their clothes off!
Kera, I'd thought Belle would've taught you better!
Clothes off already? That WAS sudden.
And the Keraine train rolls ever on.
You know, I could say something about how ridiculously ripe this chapter is for all sorts of crude Keraine-esque comments... but for now I'm gonna lampshade it, because it needs to be said that I absolutely adore what you're doing with Kera. It's probably obvious as hell that she's my favorite character, but it's chapters like these that really solidify that for me. I've really loved watching her come into her own as a standout personality that's as wise as she is driven to overcome her regrets.
It will be a sad day when Kera stops being a recurring character. I hope that day will not come to pass for a very long time.
I came back to say I appreciate the metaphor here. Taking off the clothes = no more costumes, disguises or lies. Well done.
Hmm, taking off costunes, and making their wy through Keras home, the sewers. At the other end, just another couple of filthy sewer orphans, not worth a second look.
Except one is carrying enough firepower to flatten buildings, and the other is the lost prince.
For some reason, Im thinking there might be a story there.
Hmm, I feel like Josho and EE should tagteam with Kera someday. The Princess Jokes would never stop.
5405286 I won't complain if it crushes a few bugs on the way.
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On and on and on...
Thirty crunches, ):(. Knock 'em out!
Kera may have been a fake princess but I have a feeling... at the end of this,she'll be a real duchess.
Kera, Duchess of Val Roa.
I'm going to bet 3 moustache that a few chapters from now somedeer will refuse to believe Eine really is Prince Eine due to him being naked.
Kera has certainly gone up a few notches in character likeability over this arc.
Poor kids sure seem down in the dumps, don't they?
Engage Xonan badass mode.
I can't wait to see how Eine reacts when Kera gets to show off more of her magic.
Breaking speeches are the best speeches. Get fucking told, Eine.
Kera's back in her element! The sewer. And no longer all princess-y!
Eine's gonna flip (for joy) when he sees his parents again. I can't wait!
Kera yet again knowing whats up. I love this character so damn much.
This is a pretty shitty situation.
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IF he sees them
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I must've rubbed off on 'em more than we all thought!
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No! No ifs! They will be reunited and it will be happy sunshine rainbows like it always is in Austraeoh! Wait... Nooo make the paranoia stop! Make it stop!
Also:
I GET IT. 'CUZ THEY'RE IN A SEWER. Haha poop jokes.
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One is an Xonan foal trained by a cyborg badass
One is a lost prince.
Together, they fight crime.
IC, what are you doing?
IC!
Stahp!
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I was going to make another cave exploring joke here, but I deem it unnecessary now.
I'm gradually starting to support Keraine.
and then they all fucked
And when they don't... well they have each other.
Naked pony peptalks in sewers. I'm sure this is someone's fetish.
This was a great and powerful chapter.
I legitimately have not been this excited since I blasted through 110 chapters of Eljunbyro in a single sitting.
Beautiful. The Keraine is getting better by the chapter.
-Spirit
5406894 they call themselves... the Royal Pains!
And off those two love birds go.
Cue the 'I absolutely friggin' love Kera' and 'the Keraine train continues its roll' comments.
I think Eine should've kept the vest. More recognizable when he starts telling off the culprits.
There have been many situations where Rd or ebon has done something cute. And kera has a combination of childish innocence and unstoppable will and mouth to keep things interesting. But eine just oozes cuteness. He's like a 6 year old ring bearer trying to act all serious, but with the maturity and self awareness to not be annoying. And now that there's a family reunion to look forward to, how do you not root for him?
Ooooh. It's dearest Kera now is it?
Yup, Kera is a most wonderful influence.
07/16/2017
20:33 UTC
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i.imgur.com/s85XGdJ.jpg
Not a freaking sewer level.
Now is not the time for this deer boi!
So we're all on the Kera-Eine ship right?