Chapter 3 - An Open Mind
Chapter 3 - An Open Mind
Everfree Forest July 14th 1001
Chrysalis couldn't believe that her plan to take over Equestria failed that easily. It was all going so well too. She had complete control of Shining Armor, Princess Celestia in her grasp, and the real Princess Cadence unable to help her husband.
She nearly had Twilight Sparkle too, but she ran out the door before she could prevent her from doing anything. It seemed lucky for her when her changelings captured her and her friends, but that only brought her demise sooner then she thought.
Now, she was alone. No changeling army, no Discord, and no way of taking over Equestria.
Then she remembered. She had met Discord right before she met Twilight Sparkle. He had told her about an open mind spell that Twilight would use to leave her mind open to all who drank the potion. It would only last a couple of hours, but Discord had promised that was all the time he needed.
With that, she began her work.
She needed a cover story to make Twilight believe that the spell was rare and she was the only one who could cast it. She also needed a undercover identity for talking to her.
And that is when it hit her.
She would make a big journal full of spells, with one spell being the open mind spell. She would claim that the book was her grandfather's and she always wanted to know what the spell did. As for her cover identity, well, she was a changeling. She quickly changed into a mare unicorn with a crystal for a cutie mark. After looking into a pond of the Everfree Forest to see what she looked like, Chrysalis decided to go by the name of Crystal. That way, Twilight wouldn't have any evidence to bale anypony else once she was in court.
Ponyville Library July 18th 1001
Chrysalis, in the form of Crystal, watched in amazement as Twilight drank from the potion. I can't believe she went with it the entire way, she thought to herself. Once Twilight loses her mind, I have to bring Discord here to cast his mind control spell.
"No need," said a voice that appeared behind her.
Chrysalis turned to see Discord standing there, watching as Twilight began to lose her mind.
"The potion will almost have complete effect over her mind soon," Discord said. "I suggest you stand back, since this is a dangerous process."
"What do you mean by that?" Chrysalis asked.
"Just stand back and watch."
Chrysalis turned to see Twilight floating in the air, completely helpless to what was beginning to happen. She then suddenly started flying around the library at monstrous speeds.
Unable to tell where Twilight was going, Chrysalis ran toward a bookshelf and hid right beside it. She continued to watch the floating unicorn fly around the room for the next 5 minutes or so. That is when Twilight stopped floating through the air and gently fell back onto the ground.
"Well now," Discord said. "Lets get started shall we?"
???
Twilight awoke with a start. The floor was surprisingly cold to the touch. Her vision was completely blurred and she couldn't seem to cast magic where she was.
"Where- where am I?" she asked aloud.
She waited for an answer, but sadly, none came. Her vision was starting to come back, but she still couldn't tell where she was. She could tell that she was on a stone floor, but other than that, she had no clue about where she was.
She then heard the opening of a door. The pony then proceeded to come closer to the place where she was being held. She could tell it was a stallion coming down some stairs, probably wearing some sort of armor for battle.
"Excuse me sir, but where am I and what day is it?" she called out to the stallion.
The stallion didn't answer at first, but as Twilight vision came to, she could see that this stallion was a part of Celestia's royal guard.
"It is July the 24th, and you Twilight Sparkle, are in a prison cell of Canterlot Castle.
Discord's Layer July 24th 1001
The draconequus was very pleased with his work. He finally began his own revenge on princess Celestia and those other dim-witted ponies. Part one of his evil scheme was complete. Now it was time for part two.
Everfree Forest July 24th 1001
The changeling queen couldn't believe what had happened 6 days ago. She had the perfect plot for revenge all planned and carried out, but she never would have thought that Discord would turn on her like that.
But it was her own fault. She knew releasing Discord was a bad idea, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted revenge for what Twilight was going to do to her, but didn't think about the consequences of her own actions.
Now, she had to live with them.
Canterlot Prison July 24th 1001
Twilight couldn't believer her ears to what the guard had said. "Why? Why am I in prison? I didn't do anything?" she complained.
The guard didn't answer. She could probably understand why, since he was a part of the royal guard. The princess probably ordered him not to speak to me while he was on duty.
Since Twilight couldn't get out, she started to collect her thoughts.
She started thinking about what happened in the library, since it was the last thing she could remember.
She remembered making a potion with a mare named Crystal, then taking a sip from a ladle, but after that, nothing. Not a bit of anything to remember after that.
Right at that exact moment, the door to the cell opened up to reveal 2 guards with the princess walking in.
"Twilight Sparkle," the princess started. "You will be put on trial for your crimes against all of Equestria."
"But, I don't know what I did," Twilight replied. "What in the world did I do to deserve this?"
"You stole the Elements of Harmony, betrayed your own friends by attacking all of them, and worst of all," Princess Celestia paused for a moment. "You tried to have me and Princess Luna killed!"
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Ohh. We got hanged from a cliff.
4029624 Totally.
Wait, I didn't. I wrote this.
4029726 If you want to be a critic, go right ahead. I don't have an editor. If you don't like the way I write my story, just don't read it. I want to write stories for other's enjoyment. And frankly, I don't understand half of what your saying.
4029881 Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey.
4029953 My story. I will write it my way. With or without an editor.
4030056 I wont take what you have into any more consideration. I am tired, stressed, and constantly told what to do and what not to do on a daily basis. I don't get much free time in my life, and when I do, I try to enjoy it as much as possible. You telling me what I should do just makes me fell like not listening to you. I don't like having to redo multiple things over again, which is why I didn't continue a sequel for another story of mine. Either you stop telling me what to do, or I completely ignore you. Understand?
4030208 Well you caught me at a bad time, and I am not in the mood to listening to other people. Writing fan fiction helps pass the time away, and gets me away from my horrible family. You telling me what to do reminds me of them, and I don't want to remember them all the time.
By the way, the reason my writing skill 'need work' as you are saying, is probably because I'm only a freshman in high school.
*I don't think this is the word you wanted. Perhaps "blame?"
I like the question marks in the time/place marker thing.
Why is Twilight wondering what day it is? What reason does she think she's been unconscious for long?
*missing quotation mark
*Lair (unless you actually do mean layer. With Discord, you never know...)
And... Boom! Chrysalis is kicked out again off-camera. Ha ha!
I do hope she comes back, though. It would be interesting seeing her try to get back at Discord.
I am greatly looking forward to the part where we find out just what Discord made Twilight do. Especially the word "have;" that implies getting someone else to do the job. What happened?
... Looking at the previous comments on this page, I feel somewhat abashed at having put long, rambling reviews on the previous chapters. Certainly, writing fanfiction is not something you should be feeling pressure about. If you disagree with any part of my comments, then, as the author, you can just go ahead and ignore me. If you don't want to spend the time it would take to implement the changes I suggest, that's fine too. But I hope you read the comments I leave; I like to think they contain good advice. Their purpose is simply to provide new ideas, to allow an author to look at their work from a different perspective, and, if they are struggling with how to improve their work, to give them a new option to try out.
There's only one more chapter up on this story, right now. I will continue in this manner, and comment on that as well. I only hope that this does not make writing this fic a less enjoyable experience. Your civility in responding to the comments of the parasprite in Chapter 1 earned my respect, and I would like for my commentary to reflect that.
bale
bāl
noun
1.
a bundle of paper, hay, cotton, etc., tightly wrapped and bound with cords or hoops.
synonyms: bundle, bunch, pack, package, parcel
verb
1.
make (something) into bales.
Kids make this be a lesson: never perform unknown magic spells with someone you just met.
And GODAMN THE FUCKING CLIFFHANGERS!!!!
Don't get me wrong I love the story but does the part where Chrysalis is in the Everfree feel unclear as to what happened to her other than some sort of betrayal