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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Another damn good chapter. However...
Okay you fixed it it's perfect now.
I would really like to meet this Heard Father of yours - Herd
as he rushed over to pick up a sleeping Aspen Shell - Acorn Shell?
Ugh, more Mustard and Morning and now they're fucking? I feel so very bad for their foal.
One more in the line of wonderful chapters. So much happiness here, and I swear that moistness in my eye is caused by something falling in it.
It's good to see Dark and his mom finally reunited - indeed, she did what she had to do, not what she wanted. And it was hurting her all these years... they have a lot of catching up to do.
I wonder what her reaction will be the moment she finds out that her son is this Herd Father she keeps hearing about. A lot of wonder combined with immense pride, I bet.
Even more so if someone else will tell her, not Dark himself. You know, him being humble and all.
While the story is gaining pretty great one thing bugs me. Why have Celestia and Luna become background characters. I though this was supposed to be origin story for Celestia Just seems like once Ash came in we heard almost nothing from then sisters, Luna was a new born last time we saw her. Like I said it is a good story but the supposed main character has been pushed to the background.
My handkerchief is bone dry, thank you very much.
8353000
It also kinda bugs me how the story is sitting at 165k words and we're yet to see some kind of development on the timeline. If Luna is newborn by this point, or at the very least a month old, then a grand total of one year(ish) has passed.
I'm on board with your comment too; I came into this story expecting to read about Celestia and Luna, not an arguably irrelevant rescue mission that has little to do with the main story/timeline.
8353086
If they where more involved in events it would make sense. It's like if you had a Batman origin movie that while well written and filmed focuses on Thomas Wyane dealing with political intrigue that lead to his death with Bruce only showing up in the last 10 minuets. Sure the events do effect the main character but don't really involve them.
8353124
It is a good story still. Only it indeed seems to ignore the main characters? unless it is trying to follow all of the elements of witch we are still missing 3, or at least not confirmed. That can be a valid reason. Only I think it is then time to put more hinds to it. ( I suspect the baby unicorn aurora )
Oh dear... I have to wonder if the Unicorn might try out different staillions that could cause trouble... But man it's funny what they talk about.
Also, glad to see Dark reunion with his mother... Though I feel like she isn't going to make it tomorrow because seeing her son and forgiving each other was the perfect time to go home.
Poor Kid, that's why you when a emotional scene comes you run as fast as u can!
It does make me wonder... Is Ash going to be Cadances Father?
8352752
There's a troll in the comments!
8353186
8353124
8353086
I've read your messages and I wish to assure you all that I have not forgotten Celestia and Luna. The rescue mission side ark was originally supposed to be only about 5 chapters but I let it go a bit out of control. The main focus for this side ark was to develop Ash more and have him break into his magic like Celestia did when she saved Luna, and also to bring back the Unicorns, specifically Starless. She'll be important for a few things in the future. I took the opportunity to also develop other characters and events at the same time like Mustard and Morning. This made the Chapters much longer than I planed and I am happy to tell you all that this ark of the story is almost done.
The next Ark of the story is going to be following Celestia, Luna, Aurora, and Ash, with many of the current focused characters falling back into their background roles again, though I will return to them occasionally when I feel the times are right.
Thank you for enjoying my story and sorry for concerning you all. By the way, in the story its later in the summer, (around August) so Luna is about five months old at this point.- she was born in mid march.
8316549
I'd rather read about Luna getting gangbanged right now then continuing to hear about Mustard and Morning. For being backround characters they've been in this story more then the actual main characters.
Another great chapter. Been really busy so I hadn't commented on the previous chapter. So this is kinda a double comment. I have to say the previous chapter's dream scene with Starless and Ground was just genius. I liked how things turned out with Dark and his mother. The thing about not forgiving someone is that hurts you more then it will ever hurt them. Last but not least I have seen some comments complaining about Mustard and Morning. I have actually enjoyed these two and how they are coping with the changes that happened to them. I look forward to the continuing character development of all these wonderful characters.
8354603
You get a thumbs up from me.
And you get another thumbs up from me!👍⬆
8354610
Sweet! And thanks for writing this great story.
Can probably cut the 'closer' from there. Don't really think it's needed.
Nice chapter. I'd say more but it's 3am, and I'm really tired. So just gonna... zzzzzzzzzz
8353931
that reminds me, I think there foal is a main character ( as in one of the elements )
I believe we have Celestia, Luna, and Ash confirmed, and mustard's foals as suggested. Others I suspect are Aurora and sky's foal. so yes characterization of 4 characters that will be parents to the elements seems like a good plot point.
So many cute children. Wait... Oh god, you're not gonna try killing a kid are you? That'd be so cheap.
Mustard'S head
Forgot the period, you monster.
Question mark.
A question should end with a question mark.
Contribution should be singular.
breathE
with A shake
You were doing so well in the first half, and then all the typos started cropping up in the second.
but THE SUN IS SETTING AND IT
Comma before "but". Freaking tsundere. I never really understood the appeal.
DOVE
a thick LAYER
caused him TO take
in HIS heart
Cute ending, and I'm glad you didn't pull anything cheap, but I'm afraid I am quite immune to your tear jerking.
8356233
Thanks again, but there is one thing.
This is correct.⬆
8353931
Everybody or in this case everypony is the star of their own story if you walk into a shopping centre there are thousands of lifes and storys going on all around you. Some will bleed into others and grow because of them.
Mustard and Mornings story has only come to the for front because it adds to the story of all the others just to say 'they changed genders then banged' doesn't show how this change effects the rest of the herd.
For example Green showing interest in mustard is a natural thing it shows more of greens nature his knaving yet slightly preverted side and shows the rocky relationship and the fight is how horse would act. Also if we did not have the backstory when the element of laughter is born it would not have the same weight of story.
But that is just my opinion and everybody is intitled to their own views. If you want to focus sololy on the main cast and move the story along that is up to you but I preffer slowely expanding the cast and story allowing for a much richer fuller story.
8371511
I thank you for the effort but Rubakor is the kind who has his mind made up on the matter and I doubt he will be changing it.
When I was thinking of Pinkie Pie's ancestors, I thought that they should be just as strange as she was. So with Mustard and Morning's gender swap, so starts the strange family line of the Pie's
BTW- I think you meant Grass Stem and not Green.
8372497
Thanks. And dang thats what I get for speed reading this story during a lunch break.
I have spotted one of those dredful typos!
"That reminds me", or, "they remind me".
I did indeed get misty eyed there at the end ;~;
8664352
Got it! Thankss. <=I moved the "s" over to here.