I'd definitely be interested in more of this. Maybe some early experimentation with Celestia and Ash?

7520816 Hmm... I'll think about it.

Wow, this is the most realistic story I've ever read on here. The only anthropomorphic part was the talking. Definitely original, love it!

7520915 Thanks, I just thought about what it would be like in Equestria's far past, when ponies didn't have technology and lived in herds in the wild.

Aside from the names there's barely anything (or maybe even nothing at all) MLP-related.
No mentions of cutie marks, unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies or alicorns. If you change the names (or don't know the name "Celestia" in the first place; where is Luna btw? Edit: Luna is mentioned. My bad.) no one would recognize this story for what it is supposed to be.

Don't get me wrong; it's still a nice story, in my opinion not really an MLP-based work.

7521792 Luna isn't born yet, which is revealed at the end and obvious during the whole story. And the names are very MLP-ish, actually. Idk Dark Storm and stuff like like that seems like a pretty MLP name to me.

This story is really great! The style is less porn-ish like other clopfics (And I'm hesitant to even call this a clopfic) and seems more like a narration of those documentaries on the mating habits of horses. This was really well done and pretty accurate in how they behave too. A thumbs up from me!

Remember, 's is possessive, not plural; also watch out for the your/you're trap.

7522426 Princess Maxii. Thank you for the complement, and for understanding what I was trying to do for the story. I was going for a unique angle and a fresh perspective. I'm glad you saw that.

FYI. From the moment I thought of this story to the moment I posted it, was about four hours. I found it really easy to write for some reason. I'm thinking of making a sequel. I have some idea's already but no actual story yet.

7523399
No problem. I love the creativity of it all.
Wow, four hours? That's a really short amount of time for such a great story, to be honest. I take a few days just to have a few decent couple of paragraphs haha. And If you make a sequel, you best believe I'll be reading that one too!

This was cute and all, and I liked it, but my only grip with this is that it was way too much like actual horse sex. It felt like I was watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel about horse mating. I would suggest huminizing their actions a little more and tone down the horse stuff.

I would love to see this continued though. It would be nice to see more mlp-ish stuff in it as well, like magic and other things. I think you could make a really cute story about Celestia and her little clot friend.

Not too bad. The sex didn't do much for me, but then again, this is a first chapter viewed entirely from the outside with an uncomprehending foal as the main viewpoint. Probably sensations, emotions, and more daring scenarios will pop up in future chapters. What really interests me here is the time period, before the three tribes really knew about each other. Anthropology's damn near my very favorite thing, you know?

I genuinely want to see how the three races interact, especially since everypony is starting off at the 'band' level of the society ladder. Given how long Celestia's lifespan will be, we have a perfect opportunity to watch a band grow and merge with other bands into a tribe, then a chiefdom, and eventually a nation state as population growth, stratification of classes, farming, permanent settlements, and so on change Celestia's little world.

Especially when you through magic in the mix. Imagine natural disasters happening because, one day for no reason, the sun stops moving. Imagine cutie marks appearing for the first time, probably in tandem with the development of written language as ponies come to understand the idea of symbols.

In terms of porn, I wouldn't mind watching Celestia grow up, sexual adventures all throughout. From watching more ruttings during her childhood and developing a fascination with it, to letting a scrawny colt cop his first feel when she's a bit older, to awkward teen sex, to earth pony orgy, to sex with other pony tribes (maybe offered as a sex slave or using herself as an olive branch to stop inter-tribal warfare?), to becoming an alicorn and using magic to enhance the whole thing... I dunno.

7526319 I wrote this story in a matter of hours and didn't expect to make any new chapters. But after it exploded to such a level and so many have taken an interest in it, I decided to make some new chapters and expand on this time period. I am planning to add a first contact with the other tribes, and have some friction between them. I also plan to start things like farming and tool construction a bit as they move from a hunter gather society to a settled farming community.

The next chapter will see a cutie mark event. Not saying who it will be. And about your last paragraph. I am not planning to do most of that. I'm keeping that part more simplistic. I am not turning Celestia into some inter tribal sex whore or anything.

7526362

There are several problems I am coming up to. What will be the event that will give Celestia her cutie mark

I'd have it be a political struggle against either the unicorns as a whole (as they take control of the sun) or an individual unicorn. You could also have it so that Celestia does manage to capture the sun, but doing so fucks everything up. The world burns on one side, freezes on the other, and maybe she can't control it, so she goes to the recently discovered unicorns for help since she's seen them do magic and 'this all seems too big for her to handle,' and their combined power manage to wrangle the sun. Celestia might go into hiding after that, since she accidentally murdered a truckload of pony life.

and what happens to make her a Alicorn.

You can have it so that magic increases and decreases on its own over the course of centuries, like the changing of the seasons. Let's call them "Magical summer," "Magical fall," "magical winter," "magical spring."

I'd set the story during "Magical Spring," and have it so that 'attention,' 'focus,' 'extreme desire,' 'strong belief' are how spells are cast. Celestia gains a powerful political office, and her subjects start to deify her. The more ponies treating her like she's something 'more than pony,' the more it shows with her powers, and she tries an experiment with herself to grow wings. Maybe she comes across artifacts from the previously wiped out technologically advanced race that lived in Equestria (such as the Tree of Harmony, or the Chrystal kingdom's tower which both act like beacons and radio-transmitters).

Magical Summer is the time period where magic is easy. Spell casting is done by pretty much everyone and it's incorporated into daily life. Demigods are born often. Most aspects of the planet are domesticated for society's use, including the weather.

Magical Fall is the time period where magic starts to weaken. Society remembers having 'powers,' but seeing real magic is rare so rituals and religion pop up to try and recapture what was lost. Magic is only possible with lots of study. This is the time of wizards.

Magical winter is the time where no magic exists at all. Society develops technology.

Magical spring, magic starts returning. This is the apocalypse. Society's technology stops working or works weirdly. Weird calamities, such as landmasses relocating. Animal bodies are not adapted to handle magic, so many die or mutate. New species (monsters) appear. People thinking 'messy thoughts' accidently spell-cast things they genuinely don't want.

7526362 Sorry about taking forever to post and how rambly it is.

7526508 Your idea of magical seasons is very Shannara like. With the war of tech vs magic.

Also there is the timeline problem. If she becomes a Alicorn and takes control of the sun from the unicorns then it will be after the Hearts Warming event. Since I wrote this story to be way before the Hearts Warming event, I kind of wrote myself into a corner. Though... I do have an idea that may solve this... hmmm.

For the meantime, I am just focused on the current time with the characters there.

She defiantly didn't have one of those!

Unless Celestia is the first feminist, I think you mean definitely.

And yeah, I'm enjoyed this greatly. It reminds me a lot of my old fantasy books - the Belgarion series specifically. (Though the sex there was much less explicit.)

Though from previous comments I see you have a bit of writers block. Let me throw out a bunch of plot bunnies out for you.

First, obviously, you've set up Luna's birth as the next big thing. I'd say go with that: let's see how Celestia became the doting sister she is thousands of years later.

Another interesting idea raised is the beginnings of monogomy. Sex was a big part of this chapter: how did the transition between real-life herd behaviour to the human-style relationships we see in the show happen? Was Meadowlark a trendsetter? Did Celestia and/or Luna endorse the practice after they came to power?

As for the timeline: if you are worried about needing to conform to the canon timeline, you don't. If you want to, though, the 'Journal of the Two Sisters' says that Celestia and Luna didn't have their Cutie Marks when they were made princesses. They were chosen to lead solely because they were Alicorns - the sun and moon thing came after.

As for her alicornification... Cadence and Twilight became Alicorns when they did something very powerfully magical. Twilight finished and cast Star Swirl's final spell, and Cadence overloaded a witch's love-drain spell. Maybe have Celestia/Luna jump in front of a spell-bolt or something?

I do hope you continue this. It looks really fun!

7526854 I laughed so hard, I nearly peed myself when you pointed out that spelling error! "She defiantly didn't have one of those!"'
I defiantly didn't mean to say that! ... umm bad pun?

Well thanks for the catch, I got it fixed.

7524553 It's maybe a bit weird, but I enjoy it when authors write the pones as being more horsey than they are in the show. It makes them feel less 'human-in-a-costume', while still being people, I guess?

7526508 Holy crap that magical seasons idea is cool. If I ever wrote anything I'd totally rip that off.

I like how this is starting, but you keep switching your and you're so I advise being careful with that. Being the horrible grammar nazi I am, it throws me off to the point that I would normally not even bother with continuing. I think this story has great potential if you work at it. Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading.

7526854 I laughed way too hard at that.

Little Celestia bent her head down and sniffed at the grass and grimaced.

As opposed to Big Celestia or Just Right Celestia.

Celestia pressed herself against his side, and reached up to take her mother's other teat

You'd think Celestias mother would notice this.

"I would like to be friends." Celestia said to the colt.
"I would like that too."

Beep beep boop friendship quota achieved. Now deploying more robotic banter beep boop.

"That was really sweet of you to share with him." Celestia's mother suddenly said, smiling down at her.

Aaaaand there you go, though the point was that it wasn't a well thought out sneaky plan but still, there you go.

"This is a new thing you're proposing Dark Storm.

Sounds like the kind of OC that would have 'Crawling in my Skin' as a theme and be all black and red and alicorn all over.

happily met Meadowlarks questing

You can figure out my problem with this.

As for the updated chapter; almost missed it, but was altered and I am quite glad I was.

Dawwwww!!!

So glad I'm gonna power read this finally.

In the vast, wild lands, in the world that still had not been named by it’s simple denizens, there was a rugged mountain range whose snow capped peaks still had never felt the hoofprint of any mountain goat.

It’s means it is, its would be better here

Interesting start. Got my attention.