Student and Teacher, Servant and Mistress, Citizen and Ruler, Friend and...Lover?
by Fuzzyfurvert
***
"So...let me get this straight," Rainbow Dash furrowed her eyebrows as she looked her friend's ragged and sleep-deprived form over. "You spent all weekend doing math and writing formula and making graphs."
"Venn diagrams!"
"Yeah...those." Rainbow sighed. "All that just to prove-"
"Her ass is perfect! Too perfect!" Twilight's eye twitched randomly. "It's too firm, too tight, too supple with too much lift and bounce! It has its own gravity!"
"Twi...everypony with a set of eyes knows that!"
"No, you don't understand! It's too perfect with zero flaws on any metric. IT. IS. UNREAL." Twilight gasped and quickly took a swig of her own special brew no-sleep-til-canterlot coffee. "I did the math!"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and put a hoof over Twilight's shoulders. "Twilight, of course it's unreal. Celestia is unreal! Isn't there a section in the library that's dedicated to her butt?"
Twilight was silent for a moment. When she spoke, Twilight's voice was considerably quieter. "Yeah...there is. It's sandwiched between the classical poetry and the epic balads about Luna's historically significant orgies."
"See?" Rainbow patted Twilight and turned the alicorn to face her. "Now tell Dash why you wasted a weekend doing the 'ass math'?"
Twilight hung her head and sipped her coffee sullenly. "Promise you won't tell?"
"Do I look like Pinkie?"
"Well," Twilight sniffled and shifted uncomfortably, "I-I…*sniff*...Rainbow...I want da bootyyyywhaaaahaHawwwaaa!"
Rainbow shook her head sadly as Twilight burst into tears and collapsed into Dash's chest.
"Wait. Do you want to HAVE the booty, or...?"
"I w-want to…*sniff*...I want to..." Twilight snorted as her muzzle started to drip. "I can't even articulate what I want to do to that booty!"
Rainbow Dash smirked and held the crying princess close, stroking her mane softly. "I know that feel. I know that feel so very much, Twi. Hush...no tears now. Only dreams."
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It's....beautiful!
Also I would totally read a book about Luna's myriad orgies and how they shaped history.
I don't think I can laugh any harder than this without pissing off the neighbors
its nice to see a fic of 'good friend' rainbow dash. this was both sweet and funny.
I have lost the ability to even.
5040360 Seems like a good topic for the TwiLuna collab
5041124 Agreed.
I can:
Read [x]
Write [x]
Even [ ]
I still think that Rainbow Dash's final line in this story represents not only the greatest thing ever said in an MLP fanfic, but also the single greatest line in the entirety of all human culture; past, present and future.
Luna has Historically Significant Orgies?
5401715
Butt of course!
There was The Seven Hours of Heaven Orgy in 382 BB that sealed the deal on the peace talks with the Minotaurs. Then there was the Orgy of Gryphon Queens in 298 BB, and we all know what went down there! And, of course, who could forget the Orgy of St. Luminous in 39 BB, where Luna not only achieved her political goals and secured a new trade route for Equestria, but also broke her sister's record for the number [REDACTED]?!
TWIILLIIIGGHHT!