Student and Teacher, Servant and Mistress, Citizen and Ruler, Friend and...Lover?
***
Royal tea parties were not, despite Rarity's earnest beliefs and insistence, a common occurrence in Canterlot Castle, But when she and Twilight had the same week off together, Twilight couldn't help but wish to make an exception to make her fantasy a reality. So a very perplexed Luna and Celestia found themselves facing a giggling Rarity and a faintly bemused Twilight, a pile of scones between them.
"Now as for me, I have yet to find anypony I can truly call the one. There was this fellow named Trenderhoof I thought would be a perfect gentlecolt, but...we have a divergence in tastes, suffice to say."
"Ah'd reckon thayt." Twilight said with a faint smile, Rarity giving a flush and a chuckle in response.
"But what about your majesties? I imagine you could have anypony in the world you wanted to, if you tried. Have you felt pangs of loneliness stir your hearts before? Are there any stallions you might have your eye on?" Rarity's wolfish expression made both of the Princesses feel a sort of primal fear.
Celestia gave Luna a look that said 'I love you, sister', and opened her mouth first. "Actually, I have in fact been attempting dating. Twilight and I were looking to find a way to break it to you and the rest of the Element Bearers, in fact."
"Oh ho! Twilight has been aiding you in your search? Twilight, darling, why didn't you tell me?" Rarity hissed.
Twilight blushed. "Actually, Rarity, she means that we've been setting up, erm, well..."
Celestia rescued the faltering unicorn. "We've been dating."
Luna began choking upon a scone at that point, her right hoof beating against her chest in the hopes that the offending pastry might eject itself before she lost air. Twilight gave a wince, and shot Luna an apologetic smile.
"I know it's a lot to take in, but--"
"Well of course I would assume you two would set up dates to discuss stallions over. I only wish you'd shared this interest with me--er, us, your friends--before. Oh, when we get back to Ponyville we'll have so much to discuss together!"
"Romantic dates." Celestia stressed, aggravating Luna's gasps for air.
"Oh, I understand perfectly. I imagine matters of the heart are something you would only trust with as deep and close a friend as Twilight, and vice versa. But that's no excuse for Twilight not to share her own side of the date when she returns from Ponyville."
"No, Rarity. She means that we're, uh, in l-love." Twilight managed to say, cringing as she did.
"Naturally! I understand! Celestia has been your anchor since you were but a foal! I imagine she and you have things about your friendship that span even deeper than our bonds! It is the same with myself and dear Fluttershy."
"I would doubt that." Celestia quietly interjected.
Twilight, for her part, walked around the table and wrapped a hoof around Celestia.
Luna had managed to cease choking at this point, and was merely settled glaring at her sister. "And when, prithee, were you planning to tell us, sister?"
Rarity gave Celestia a chiding look. "Oh, Celestia! Don't tell me you've been arranging dates about romance with Twilight but not your sister! Surely she deserves to join in! Why, were she more interested, I'd be doing the same thing with dear Sweetie Belle!"
"Rarity!" Twilight fixed her friend with a long-suffering stare. "Celestia and I are gay! We are tongue-twisting! We are tonsil diving! Making kissy faces! Cuddling each other in the night! Buzzing our birds and bees! Snipping scissors! We are commiting acts of biology that lead to little ponies! We are stimulating each other's mating drives through the appropriate organs! We are banging!"
Rarity dropped her teacup, the shattering noise ignored by all.
"Have I made myself clear?" Twilight said at last.
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I should not have read this chapter in the library - I ended up laughing out loud and getting everyone to stare at me.
i almost faint here this is awsome
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I fear I made a similar mistake. Reading this in a doctor's office got me several stares for my sudden laughter. I regret nothing.
Oh, Kyubey, how I love your humor.
It is better to be blunt and to the point than being subtle when speaking to Rarity.
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Not super public... But yeah, same problem.
Thank you. This seriously made my break at work much more relaxing today.
...Yeah, that ending made me laugh.
Liked the ending, also that was probably one of the bluntest and most hilarious way to relate to someone that they're gay.
HAHAHAH wow Rarity, just wow
The award for just NOT GETTING it goes to Rarity.
Could have also wrapped up with the classic line, "Well why didn't you say so, darling?"
I'm sure Twi could have listed far more euphemisms... Sh seems to know EVERYTHING that EVER gets written down.
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同意你们俩!我不能在做家务的时候戴着耳机听浏览器读这些,电子音让它更好笑了!!