Student and Teacher, Servant and Mistress, Citizen and Ruler, Friend and...Lover?
by Sankt Kaiser
***
Twilight’s mind went off like a venerable encyclopedia during the pensive, hour long procession. Everypony around her carried a lurid expression; however, only few shed tears. She couldn’t pinpoint whether they mourned the pony in the casket or dreaded the sempiternal tristiloquy the priest was giving. Twilight and the royal mares beside her fell into the latter. If Luna had been allowed to give the eulogy it would have been brazen, acidulous to the point of no return, but most of all it would be breviloquent. The priest’s epicede was quickly becoming a lugubrious paean rife with extol.
“Pfft…” Luna’s cheeks puffed out as she stifled her giggles to no avail. Nobleponies looked back at her irate, this only strengthened the intensity of her laughter. “Pffahaha!”
An incisive guffaw followed Luna’s snickering capturing the scrutiny of everypony taking the funeral “serious”. Cadence was the unexpected perpetrator this time around, and unlike Luna who tried to suppress her callow snickering, hers was a clarion of mirth.
Exhaling a calming breath, Twilight turned to her paramour for a reprieve from the foalishness displayed by her extended family, but low and behold, albeit very inconspicuous, Celestia had joined them.She remained regal and poised, lips pursed to a tenuous line, however, her shimmering eyes betrayed her mask of cool indifference.
“You have got to be kidding me…” Twilight sibilantly mumbled lost in her own world. A curious white ear twitched in her direction. “This is so embarrassing.”
“Is everything alright, Twilight dear?” Celestia asked her tender voice full of concern. She brushed her muzzle against Twilight’s affectionately trying to coerce the quiet mare to speak.
The mulberry alicorn scrunched snout unsure of how she should react to the public display of affection. “No, everything's not alright.” she huffed deciding nopony saw any meaning behind the action. “There is nothing funny or nugacious about a funeral; it’s absolutely dreadful!”
“But--” Luna chimed in only to be silenced by a moue of displeasure. “Nevermind.”
“We are here to mourn your nephew and cousin!” Twilight jabbed both Cadence and Luna with glares.
“Step-nephew/cousin.” the three alicorns flatly stated without a care.
“He may have been vexing, but he still deserves some respect.” Twilight’s eyes darted left and right before whispering, “Some.”
Celestia chuckled forgoing her solemn facade and asked, “Do you see this farce playing before us?”
“Obviously, but what does that have to do with your giggling?”
“Blueblood was many things. He was narcissistic, I’ll give him that, but he also had a penchant for comedy.” Stretching out a great wing, the ivory mare lovingly brushed Twilight’s mane. “Even you started to enjoy his company after some time. Laughing at posh earth ponies with sticks so far up their plots you’d think they were unicorns seemed to be the trending topic between you two.”
“Our dearly departed nephew would rather we laugh than be somber.” Luna nodded her head smiling, “He would do the same should the tables be flipped. And in the eulogy he would do his best to idyllically portray our shenanigans.”
“He’d also replace the knell with an orchestral pony polka.” Cadence added with a great grin as she embraced the selenian ruler. “I heard that Octavia pony played it rather well during the Grand Galloping Gala.”
A small smile breached Twilight’s stoic face, she recalled adjourning a meeting early and remained seated with Blueblood after everypony left. He made an offhand comment about how a governor's toupe was askew. Celestia was right about her nephew, he loved to make ponies laugh. She quietly giggled along with the rest of her royal family, and as more memories flooded in their laughter doubled.
“This funeral’s taking so long the only thing keeping me awake is my lexiphanic inner narration!” Twilight leaned on her lover in a hysterical fit.
“HE CHOKED ON A PECAN!” Luna exclaimed in the Royal Canterlot voice to break the taciturn mood. She had her hooves wound tightly around her sides as she fell down in laughter dragging Cadence down with her.
Horrified gasps echoed amongst the funeral goers, all eyes focused on the peanut gallery. The ponies who genuinely mourned Blueblood’s passing began laughing along with the dignified mares who were lost in their cachinnation. They recalled the prince’s charming smile as he mocked a pony’s fashion or the way he worried about his appearance.
The Princess of Love was the next to disturb the crowd. “He was bluer than a blueberry that silly Blueblood!”
“Worst of all, he didn’t even like pecans!” Celestia chimed in. “In fact he absolutely abhorred them!”
By now the four alicorns had tears streaming down their cheeks as they laughed. They came to a final conclusion simultaneously: funerals were dreadful and awfully wordy. A simple reminder of who the pony was, was more than enough to send them off. But laughing at any other funeral is still a faux pas. Avoid it.
EVERYONE GET READY FOR ANOTHER FUN-FUELED DICTIONARY RIDE WITH SANKT KAISER AT THE WHEEL!
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Who says you can't learn stuff from fanfiction?
uhh what?
didn't like this chapter.....
Why are the princesses sitting in the cheap seats, i.e., the balcony or (gasp) the bleachers? I'd expect them to be sitting up front at this funeral. Though the line is clearly a followup to:
Jesus H Christ, I don't think I've ever seen so many words I've never seen and can't hazard a guess at in one place.
I mean I'm no expert but dayum son.
Huh, and my friends call me a walking dictionary. Some of those words are so obscure I'm tempted to say they're made-up.
But then, English tends to drop a few silly-sounding words that get forgotten about relatively quickly.
Lexiphanic indeed. But also rife with mistakes. Normally I'd overlook them, but if you're writing specifically to show off words they ought to be used correctly.
That could be correct, but it doesn't make sense here. I think I see how you got there--"gloomy" and "dismal" show up in a few definitions and occasionally as synonyms--but that's in the sense of "dark" (visual sense) rather than "sad". "Lurid expression" is a valid phrase, but its meanings are very far from what I would expect to see on the faces of people at a funeral.
I don't think you can use "rife with" with a verb.
That should either be in the adverb form "irately" ("Nobleponies looked back at her irately"), or the adjective should be moved to directly before of the noun it modifies ("Irate nobleponies looked back at her").
I suppose that situations might exist where laughter could be incisive (perhaps in the middle of a vicious argument, but even then it would be an odd choice of words). This story is not one of them.
To describe anything Luna does as "callow" is a stretch. Even the definitions that aren't explicitly about youthfulness carry connotations of youth. "Callous" might be the word you're looking for, there. Also, while there are definitions of "clarion" that could be applied to laughter, the connotations don't fit very well.
How? There aren't even any sibilants in that phrase!
That said, thank you for introducing me to the words "acidulous", "breviloquent", "lexiphanic", "nugacious", "sempiternal", and "tristiloquy". Those are impressively obscure.
This wasn't really an entry, I had rescinded my claim to the prompt and only shared it upon request. However, I am still so very happy it got posted.
4502963 Time to disect your disection cause it's fun!! I don't get much time to practice my English, so I can't resist this opportunity. I also have to inform you that this entry was written without edits... And wasn't really an entry at all.
Incisive - Was used here as a cutting laughter... But really when you're face deep in a giant sushi platter I don't think you really care about much else.
Callow - Laughing at a funeral isn't immature then? But really Luna seems to enjoy seeing uptight ponies fussing. You don't have to be a child to be youthful. And compared to Celestia I'd say she's still pretty young.
Clarion - I like the word, I like the sound, so imma keep it. :)
Sibillant - I have no idea how that got in there. It was most likely supposed to be silently, but with mumble there it would make the word redundant.
Lurid - Causing shock, horror or entailing something gruesom. It also works to describe a ghastly pale color.
My use of the word here was describing their faces as melodramatic, the ponies weren't there to mourn, they were there to try get on Celestia's good side. I didn't see anything sad or gloomy about it at all.
Rife - I don't actually know how that got in there, I was eating rice at the time though so that might be it. But most likely I might've been playing with it copiously supplied. So I probably meant that there was a lot of praise going about.
Irate - Was most likely supposed to go at the start there.
That was fun! But really if my drabbling came off as showy, I didn't intend to. It was kind of how I learned to write In English.
4502310 It was the follow up. While the Princesses are distantly related to him, he obviously
obviously had closer relatives who deserved the closer seating. As for my use of peanut gallery I was implying the rowdy nature of their actions rather than the seats themselves. Writing gets people all metaphysical.
4502963 4504485
I believe Snowy's right: "rife with extolment" would work.
4504622 /shrug I still believe my rice theory!
4495539
Fun fact: I wrote this prompt based upon that image.
4502318 Just wait, it gets worse.
4504885
"Rice with extol" isn't any better. The use of "with" implies a noun follows, i.e., "with what?", so the point still holds.
I had to reread the first part three times to understand everything