Written by: Fuzzyfurvert
*****
Twilight held the camera up and turned it so that Luna could see the tiny buttons along its side. “You simply press the Record button and then point the lens at what you want to film. Understand?”
Luna nodded. “Yes, I believe so.”
Luna took the camera from Twilight in her own horngrip, turning it over as she examined it. “And after it is filmed, it may be played back on this little screen?”
Twilight grinned. “Yep! We can even watch it on the larger screen TVs or on the computer. Many ponies use cameras similar to this to film short videos and upload them to a service called ‘Youtube’ where ponies all over Equestria can view them whenever they like.”
“How peculiar.” Luna smiled. “But perhaps this is a way we can show everypony what life here in the Castle is truly like?”
“Yeah. Want to get started?”
~~~*Some Creative Editing Later*~~~
Upload complete.
Video set to Public.
Click to Play.
~~~*Click!*~~~
“Salutations motherbuckers!” Luna smirked as leaned forward onto the kitchen counter where the camera was set. “Tonight We and our homeslice, Twi-Sizzle, are cooking up a four foot long - deep fried - hay twinkie! And when that shit is all golden and hot and drippin’-wif-sause, we’re gonna eat like it’s 999 up in the Canterlots!”
Twilight stood silently next to Luna with sunglasses on at night, totally not giving a buck.
“Hold on to your horseapples, it’s Princess Meal Time!”
~~~*Jumpcut*~~~
Luna gestured broadly at the large pots and cookware arranged before her while Twilight mixed a goopy batter. A Grams of Fiber counter appeared in the corner of the screen.
“We got all fixin’s. We got creeeaaam; made from the milk of minotaurs. They didn’t like that. So I had to...send ‘em to the Moon!” Luna tilted one huge mixing bowl to show the thick contents. “Twi-Sizzle is mixin’ the batter. Doing it with magic ‘cuz she ain’t real strong. But she got game. Batter believe it!”
~~~*Montage*~~~
“Now We pour that sweet ass batter into the pan.” Luna narrated as a close up shot displayed just that. “It goes into the oven and cooks for 35 minutes! While we wait on it, We start makin’ the real piece da resistance: sweet and sticky sause!”
The view changed to show Luna rapidly stirring a pearlescent syrup, little globules flying out of the bowl as she did so. “I like mine like I like your mom: smooth and rich.”
~~~*Edited in Oven Timer Noise; Montage 2*~~~
“Next we pull the hay cake outta the oven then we smother that beast in cream like we smothered my sister with a pillow last night.” Luna cleared her throat and continued in a mumble. “Not really. Love ya sis.”
The quiet background music swelled as the montage of cream spreading continued. “Now that it’s rolled up, we apply the sause! We deep fry it and apply the rest of the sause.” Luna tipped the large mixing bowl over and started to spoon the creamy topping onto the huge twinkie. After a moment she gave up with the ladle and just dumped the bowl before tossing it over her shoulder without looking. “We here on Princess Meal Time only take our sause one way: liberally.”
~~~*Jumpcut to Dinning Table; Consumption Montage*~~~
“Now We and Twi-Sizzle are going to swallow four feet of sticky log. Let’s see Tia top that. We’re gonna doubleteam this shit from both ends! So keep yer peepers open wide as we get sensual as hell with this twinkie.”
Luan moved to the oppisite side of the table from Twilight as the younger alicorn sliced and split the twinkie down the middle. They started slowly with decorum but it qiuckly devolved into the two ponies stuffing their maws with pound after pound of fried hay twinkie.
~~~*Jumpcut to Empty Plates*~~~
Luna wiped a hoof across her muzzle, smearing the white syrup more than clearing it. “Next time: we eat a car. Yeah, the whole thing. Like with a fork.”
"I approve!"
Fuzzy...
Headcanon accepted. In ponified Borderlands, Luna is Crazy Earl. Because shut up, that's why.
4158689
In ponified Borderlands, what do you think they found in the first vault? Tentacles, Disappointment and NNM. NNM is gone now, thanks to the six vault-hunters, but Luna has developed a sick craving for iridium.
4158582
This was one of the most weirdly amusing things I've read on this site. Also, 'sause' should be spelled 'sauce'.
"4158755?"
"4158582!"
"Valerie…"
"Bob?"
"Catherine?"
"Heathcliff!"
"Janet!"
"Dr. Scott!"
"Janet!"
"Brad!"
"Rocky!"
"Auntie Em! Auntie Em!"
"ADRIAN!"
"STELLA!"
"And what about… Naomi?"
4158751
According to her, though, Eridium tastes quite a bit like 'purple', though nopony is actually quite sure what she means by that.
Also, on a slightly related note, I found out something about Scooter that I'd not known before. Marcus Kinkaid is his father. (Roughly 2-3 mins in, but all of it is gold)
4158849
Yes, the mis-spelling is intentional however. The main guy on Epic Meal Time always draws out the word and mispronounces it as s-OW-se or sause. Check them out on Youtube, it's hilarious.
I'm dead, I'm dying, I'm dead-
That... was bad. Bad as in "ew. I don`t want to coninue reading" bad. Which is exactly what I did. Sadly, there is no way to downvote a specific chapter, or I would`ve.
5468220
Yeah...this is a thing I wrote.
Yeesh. Looking back over it I can see it needs editing something fierce. But I still think I managed to capture Epic Meal Time in pony form.
4158955
"KHAAAAAAN"