Hello, I'm Mary. I'm a mother of two, married to the most wonderful man I could hope for and live what I consider to be, the life I've always wanted. So... why oh why, in the wide, wide world of whys, did this happen to me?

This is my story, for better or for worse, about how things in my life became beyond unbearable.

This story, and the Kirin Chronicles as a whole, are being rewritten and published as a new story due to the size of the adjustments.

Part I of the Kirin Chronicles
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It's Twilight Sparkle's coronation day. She's ready to go, all dolled up by Rarity, and the three Princesses await her okay on the spell. She nods. Their horns light, and a deep warmth spreads through her. She closes her eyes.

"Nn- Twilight!"

Her eyes open. Spike, running towards her. His claw brushes the magical aura surrounding her. A roll of thunder echoes, and he is thrown against the wall. The magic surrounding her rises in turmoil, battering and burning, and it's all she can do to stay awake. It ends with a snap, dropping her to the plush ground in a heap. The Princesses are crying, Spike is unconscious, and Twilight... Twilight is no longer a petty Unicorn.

But she's not much of an Alicorn either.

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Initially featured from February 8th, 2013 - February 11th, 2013.
Part II of the Kirin Chronicles
Part III of the Kirin Chronicles

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** This story was written when I was 15, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **

A foray into the Optimalverse.

The powerful, world-spanning AI Celestia has but one goal: To satisfy human values through Friendship and Ponies. But for those humans, is it worth sacrificing one group of friends for another?
And what's really so dang great about satisfaction, anyway? For those who value knowledge, is happiness ever worth self-deception?

This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

Set in the Optimalverse, a middle-aged woman enamored of 'Equestria Online' confronts what permanent emigration to Equestria - uploading to a virtual existence - really means... but can she even hope to truly understand such a thing - and more importantly, can she trust the artificial intelligence known as 'Celestia'?

♥ As Horrified Eliezer Yudkowsky!

"Who are you?!"

Lyra wrenched her hands together, strands of teal hair falling over her golden eyes. Suddenly, she seemed so small. She didn't answer. Couldn't? It hurt to remember, hurt to say. She was lying, or maybe it was the truth, and she really didn't know.

Cover art done by the amazing Conicer and bunnish!

There was only one explanation. For all of it. All of the strange, erratic behavior. Her irrational fear of the sun. Her nocturnal habits of locking herself in in the dark and closing all the blinds. Wearing her sunglasses everywhere, even inside! It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake.

Hello everypony! This is the sequel to My Little Twilight. I'm going to have some help with this story on some of the chapters.
Credit for the picture goes to Sparknanator.

Twilight Sparkle has always admired Princess Celestia. Her fortitude, her wisdom, her eternal grace and love for all her subjects. Twilight has often fantasized about what it would be like to be in Princess Celestia's horseshoes. She never imagined those fantasies would come true.

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Events take place a short time after the Crystal Empire's return (early S3).
Proofreading from chapter three-onward provided by Daemon of Decay.
Cover image used with permission from TexasUberAlles, thanks!
Inspiration for Sunny Skies from PhantomFox.

Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.

A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!