This story, and the Kirin Chronicles as a whole, are being rewritten and published as a new story due to the size of the adjustments.
Part II of the Kirin Chronicles
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After Equestria recognized Twilight Sparkle's half-dragon form as a true Princess, word comes from the southern kingdoms that a great evil has returned. Will the Elements of Harmony still be able to stop it, or will their half-dragon abilities keep them from succeeding?
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Part I of the Kirin Chronicles
Part III of the Kirin Chronicles
Featured from April 13th, 2013 to April 15th, 2013.
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** This story was written when I was 15, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **
I've been waiting for this! Continue, for this is brilliant!
2420166
I'll do my best to keep the quality up!
Well, here we go. Decent set up for the start of an unknown enemy causing some sort of conflict down south.
Even though she appeared to just be a support character, Steel. Is she mute or something? Didn't have a single spoken line, and you referenced scales in her mouth, or something like that. Idle curiosity.
Will have to see more before rendering any judgement, however you seem to be off to a good enough start.
2420260
Yes, Steel is mute. (Only a support character for now, though hinthinthint)
2420261
Pretty good start and I think the w here
isn't supposed to be there
2420408
Yep, thanks!
2420429
Yep, thanks. I know it's a reoccurring mistake I make, but I can try my best to fix it.
Luna that's exactly what you don't say. Now everything will crash and burn.
A) YAY!
B) You write too fast, make me look slow lol
2420551
This was in no way fast.
2420558 Hahaha, lemme guess, you had multiple chapters done before publishing?
2420562
Maybe.
So far so good and should this
be will or should will be after with?
2420568
"As anything they need with them will not". I'll fix that now.
wish I could make stories that are this good, you always bring out some great stuff
2420662
Thanks!
If you didn't know, this is on the Featured Stories list! Congrats!
2420676
I noticed! *fangirls* Thanks!
It seems like there's been a massive jump between the end of the last story and the beginning of this one, and it seems like something that ought to be thoroughly explained prior to really getting into the story. In an unspecified amount of time, we've gone from the world of Magical Mystery Cure to one in which Equestria is incredibly cosmopolitan with every canon power (and some that aren't) as their allies. How'd this come about? When did this come about? How is it related to the totally random (as as yet not particularly explained) dragonification of the Mane Six? These are things we sort of need to know.
2420173 I am now officially confused. I had believed that the official sequel was already being written by the author..... Is this some sort of fan made alternate universe sequel? Or is the story i read just of the same name ass the story you have based yours off? I... I have no idea anymore....
A very excellent start. Enjoying it immensely.
2420797
Was there ever any sign that they were not allies? I just assumed, since Equestria isn't war-torn and in poverty, that they were all pretty much okay with each other. Canterlot's just really stuck up and doesn't like change, so nopony ever went there.
2420808
...I am the author of the previous story? Keep in mind there are two stories by that name, my one and some other one.
2420821
I hope you continue to enjoy it!
wat
2421111
Hm?
2421134 yes
2420832
Exactly as I had surmised... Thankyou for allieviating my doubts.
alot of different creature to remember lol thestrals kirins and whatever the other were called i love it its like a non nerdy version of a dungeons and dragons fiction
2421141
Why did you say 'wat'?
2421142
You're welcome.
sequel! woohoo! amazing!
Ah, sequel time!
*rubs hands together*
Wonderful!
Sweet. Just heard about the sequel. Haven't read it yet but I know it is going to be awsome.
Well I'm sold. Great start to what will be an epic story.
...famous last words.
2421155 no reason
will spike be in this at all?
2422615
He will be a supporting character for the end of the first arc and the greater half of the second.
A thestral is a batpony, which can have Pegasus parents. A Kirin is half-dragon. Although, techincally, a Kirin can be a thestral but a thestral can't be a Kirin.
Could you make the title of I wasn't prepared for this a link?
2420797
I agree with this. What the buck happened to make them all things in harmony, mainly with Changelings!?! That happened to suddenly make them allies, when did the Mane 6 (excluding Twilight) get this blessing? Too large amount of unexplained stuff going on.
2422865
Yes, one minute.
2420828 You're joking, right? You're really going to go with "we didn't see otherwise so it could be true"? Thus far, in canon, we've seen at least five distinct settlements: Canterlot, Ponyville, Cloudsdale, Manehattan, and Appleloosa. Not a single one of these places has any of the races that you depict walking around. Moreover, the nature of your description makes it clear that this extremely cosmopolitan version of Canterlot has existed long enough that it's quite normal where as you yourself directly admit, Canterlot's not the most welcoming place for all these allies. Finally, you depict changelings walking casually down the street chatting whereas at last call in canon, changelings were at minimum extremely unwelcome. So hang all that sleight-of-hand you just tried to hit me with and let's hear a good reason for this strange, sudden, unexplained deviation from canon. Preferably, in the story itself since as I said at first, such a significant and abrupt deviation requires explanation.
2422930 Well, the dragonification was at the end (albeit at the very, very, very rushed end) of the prequel to this story. It was not, however, explained in any way nor was an attempt made to justify why all five of her friends get randomly blended with dragons in a random fashion as a realization of their destinies. This would seem to imply that if not for the accident, all six Elements would have become alicorns to imitate Twilight, but this possibility is merely implied but never solidified. Again, the end of the prequel was incredibly rushed so these bits of important information have not yet been shared.
2422993
Although, to be honest, 'we haven't been proved otherwise' is a logical solution for a childrens' show about technicolor horses, I will go into it in future chapters.
Why is Carbon scared, and why can't Steel go herself?
2423201
Future chapters~
2423059 Well, of course "it hasn't been proven otherwise" is a perfectly good solution for a children's show about Technicolor horses. But when a good storyteller upgrades the medium from "children's show" to "multiple-chapter story with adult themes", a little more sophistication is required. I sincerely doubt that you'd depict Applejack being so heartbroken that she overworks herself and gets crippled for life in a cartoon for young girls, but it's a perfectly appropriate thing to have happen in your story.
I am having difficulty with the back story here, where they always part dragon? it is halfway built up like that, or where they turned that way. Usually with Alternate universe stories, a back story has to be given to go into the history, apparently in this universe all species get along, but, wether or not the mane six always being 'draconequi', as a better term for it,baffles me.
Well apart from some readers that lack the ability from be able distinguish between canon and alternate universe, I've enjoyed your story so far. Keep it up!~
It is still rather difficult to tell who is what species, but I now understand that the 'mane' six have always been as such, but I am still unsure of how to imagine Celestia. Having characters familiar to someone be an entirely new species, a great deal of description is involved, I think You could have that in the future, a very good story beyond that and a very interesting concept.