• Published 2nd Jul 2012
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Oh to be Old Again - Minalkra



What happens when a middle age brony wakes up in the body of a foal? And when no one believes him?

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Interlude 4: Parabola Parable

Warning! Drastic tone shift ahead.


The early evening air felt thick on her withers, heavy with the sounds and smells of life. It was a distant, droning noise from below - as if some ancient beast slumbered but fitfully not far from her. The smells of pony and animal, of freshly cut grass and flowers too early in bloom wafted from all directions. And, as always, the ever-present wind that whipped itself in a frenzy from the mountain top. A whistling in her ears - the breath of the mountain. She could feel it as it wound its way through the alabaster spires that surrounded her. Through the streets and the avenues filled with perfumed dames and their stallions, through the filthy alleys that overflowed with the refuse of life, through the lungs and mouths of ten million creatures - large and small. For a moment, she felt as if she truly was the goddess she was said to be. For a moment, she was free.

The snap of an eagle's claw from inside and the faint smell of cotton candy hiding the scent of ozone - and worse - drew her out of her reverie and she almost collapsed onto the balcony at her body's sudden weight. Sad magenta eyes opened and regarded the city below her and she felt her will waver. She couldn't face him yet. Instead, she looked out over the city as it lay beneath her. Spires and arches, sky-bridges and towers. Even the slums that her ponies tried so hard to disguise with cheery paint and an army of sweepermares. The blindingly white and gold city that had been carved in her name. Her 'city on a hill.' Her city. That errant thought brought to mind a thousand years of regret. She remembered the confusion on her sister's face as she finally gazed on the ruins of their once glorious home. Her mind unfettered by the nightmare that had consumed her, the desolation that was once the most important location in all of Equestria broke her more fully than anything the Elements could have done. The 'city Celestia built' was such a change for her, such a change.

"I haven't got all day, Celestia." His voice hadn't changed in all those thousands of years, however. It still dripped with hate, with the venom of old wounds that would never heal. Despite his 'reformation,' Discord had never forgiven her for her crimes. Could never forgive her those crimes. That fact she could bear - if she was not alone. "Or night, as it soon will be."

"Sta-" she began, her voice also unchanged despite the vast gulf of time between them. Desperate. Pleading. Hurt.

"Ah." Though she had not yet turned to face him, she could 'see' him hold one claw up to forestall her words. She closed her eyes and mouthed along with him. "That name is dead and buried, Celestia."

His words hung in the air. She did not want to say it, she did not want to say it, she wanted him back, she wanted it all to be different and better and why couldn't it be the way it once was and damn it all why did she have to be so alone and she just wanted him back and-

"Discord." That word broke her. Her voice remained even and her mask remained whole but each time she said it - each time she thought it - she died again and again until all that remained was a hollow shell wearing the skin of a pony with the serenely smiling mask of a Princess.

"There's a good filly." Their ritual complete, a moment of silence lay between them. She could smell the sickly sweet stench of candy and feces that clung to his fur as it drifted out of her small office. Two smells, so discordant. The smells of him as it always had been since that night so long ago. It grew stronger until she could almost taste the intermixed flavors. Her nostrils flared. It was an effort of will to simply stand and breathe. His hot breath on her ear was unsurprising. That it smelled of mint and chocolate instead of blood and meat was. "Aren't you going to lower the sun and get the moon into position or should I?"

With an irritated flick of her head and a sharp burst of light from her horn, Celestia almost wrenched the stellar orb down from where it sat just above the distant Smokey Mountains. The sudden lurch of the sun as it fought against her desire stopped her from yanking it below the horizon too quickly but for just a fraction of a second, she struggled and yanked with all her might against it. A single chuckle from beside her stopped her war of wills and reminded her of her audience. With bowed head and a faint blush of shame for her lack of strength, she lowered the raging beast gently beyond the edge of the world and set it on its path in the proper order of things. With another flick, the moon began its accent into the sky. It would be hours until she need worry of those two.

"Bleh." She finally turned to him as he eyed the positioning of the moon critically. His eagle claw stroked his goat's beard as his lion's paw sat pensively on his 'hip.' One leg - his goat leg - tapped a non-rhythm as he watched the sky while his other - his lizard leg - supported his weight. "It would look better doing loops across the sky."

"Thank you, Discord." The smell was almost too much, like an opened sewer left to rot too long in the sun. A few millennia of dealing with worse creatures than him helped ensure her mask stayed as solid as it had ever been, however, and she smiled gently at him. His surprise was an added bonus but that was not why she had spoken those words. "For coming on such short notice. It is a distance even for you to travel."

His surprised face sunk into a wary sneer as he weighed her words. Eventually, he shrugged. "If it was you I'd have taken my time, you know. Little Lulu deserves better." Spiraling his serpentine body in the air, the self-proclaimed 'Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony' backstroked back through the purple gauze curtains that separated the outside air from Celestia's inner office. For her part, she ignored his antics and simply walked in, settling herself on the well-worn cushions near the unlit fireplace.

"So, somepony finally did it, hmm?" From above, Discord 'swam' through the air with a skill born of boredom. The smell was atrocious but the opened window helped - Celestia fought her own gorge as it struggled to empty. Always wearing the mask - even when it broke and cracked like so much ice in spring. Even when it hid nothing. Discord huffed at her serene smile. "There was a reason I never finished those spells, dear Celestia. They were too much for us to handle even with our -" He paused.

The air felt thick as history filled the room. Sounds of laughing foals, of joyful discovery and the halfhearted taunts of the lovestriken. Of a herd of ponies enjoying the summer sun and the spring moon, together. Always together. Pegasus, earth pony and two unicorns frolicking their lives away as the smells of daisies filled the air. Finally, a spell to make time itself stand still and the awe of the world. And then, the smells of war. The sounds of pain, of rape. Fear. Hate. Anger. Jealousy. A spell half-finished and done in hatred. And a completed spell, done in secret and for love - a love broken beyond repair. The air itself was broken with a pop like glass shattering and Discord wiped a lion's claw on his matted fur.

"I hate backstory. As I was saying." Celestia blinked at the draconequus as the smells of war and death, of sewage and worse disappeared as though they had never been there in the first place. Instead, Celestia smelled ... rabbit. And wildflowers. And a mare's scent she knew, a pegasus of patience and heart. Discord, now sitting in a high-backed chair of minotaur design next to a suddenly roaring fireplace, puffed gently on a pipe as he regarded a claw absentmindedly. He was very close to her, she noted. So very close that she could still smell the stallion sweat that she remembered from before, when all the world was so much simpler. "There are reasons I hid much of my work after I died. You should never have collected it, Celestia." Gone was the hatred for a moment. Just a moment. Her mask almost cracked as she said the words they both knew were coming. As she pretended not to see the pleading look he was trying to hide so poorly.

"And if another pony had found it?"

"Then they could join me."

"Discord, you know I couldn't-"

"YOU! You, you, you, you, you, YOU, YOU!" The smell of sewage filled the air once more as the spirit leapt to his claws, his face filled with age old rage. The fireplace was cold once more and gone was the chair. The closeness. "It's always about you and these ponies. Always them, never me." His voice was barely a whisper as he finished. She turned her head to not see the shivering form.

"~Always all of us. Ever and forever.~" Her voice cracked as she recited the ancient Equuish phrase that nopony alive remembered - save for three very distant and very hurt ponies that struggled to remember the unimportant moments that defined everything.

"~Till death take one.~" Discord's voice was quiet but firm. The smell of rot and foulness was not so heavy but it was still there. Always there. Outside, one of the many clockspires of Canterlot struck the moonrise hour. The two immortals passed the time in silence. Discord's quiet voice broke both the silence and her heart. "I cannot help her, Celestia. She is beyond my grasp." Celestia nodded. The mask lay broken at her hooves, its droplets forming small pools of wasted hopes on the cold and hard floor. "And the child?" Celestia sighed at his question.

"She chose a different path. For now."

"Pity." They both let words lay as they mulled over their own thoughts. They would have stayed that way for an eon of time had they the opportunity. Alas, time doesn't wait for any - no matter how powerful. A sudden rapping at the chamber door caused their heads to snap up. The elaborately carved oak doors swung on silent hinges inward and a guard, shivering at the coolness of his Princess's chambers, stepped slowly into the dark. His eyes were wide at first with trepidation but he visibly relaxed as the bright form of his Princess slowly faded into view from the dark.

"Y-your highness?" His voice broke as the leering form of Discord sulking in the shadows hovered into view as well. No matter the training, no creature could stand unchanged near the lord of change. The metal plates on his golden armor rattled as the draconequus slid and slithered around the petrified guard, sniffing just loud enough to be heard.

"Mmm, you always did have a good eye for the stallions, Cccelessstia." He drew out his 's's with the flare of an actor and was rewarded with a small yellow puddle that quickly changed into a fizzy brown one. With a chuckle that was darker than the room, Discord left the white-faced guard as Celestia shot him an angry glare. "Calm yourself, I wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Aegis, please report." The soothing and firm voice of his Princess snapped the guard out of his nightmares and back to reality. He closed his eyes and thought only of the eternal twin beauties he was charged with defending. His will renewed and his resolve set - and with only a second glance at the looming beast - the grey pegasus saluted his commander.

"Your highness, you requested hourly reports. Ah, th-there is no change in her 'condition.' I'm sorry." The guard dropped the pose as his Princess nodded with a heavy sigh. None could blame her, though the news had yet to travel outside of the castle proper. The servants and guards knew well how to keep a secret but it was only time borrowed unless a cure could be found.

"Thank you, Captain. Please, leave us now." With another salute, the guard turned tail and almost ran from the room. It would take days to get the smell of cotton candy and soda out of his armor but he was thankful to Discord for that one change. He couldn't imagine smelling like a sewer near his liege.

"We must find the thing she pulled through," Discord hissed as his anger overrode him. His form began to twist as he snaked through the air, forgoing even the appearance of swimming. Celestia could smell his anger. His hatred. She fought back a gag. "And it must be ended lest she waste away."

"We shall see. There may yet be another way."

"Hmmph," Discord scoffed, "I can see all possibilities, Celestia. I cannot see this 'other way.'"

"You know me, Discord."

"You would truly lose her over some half-formed creature from beyond?" The words of her informants filled her heart with dread. Colt, pony, hurt, frightened. Lost. She would not sink to that level again. She would never sink to that level again.

"I would rather lose her than be soaked in unnecessary blood." As the words left her lips, the scent in the air cleared itself. She glanced at Discord as he hung, suspended above her. Staring with his bright yellow eyes - eyes she once knew. She had so loved his eyes.

"My, my. That is a change." His voice was so low, had she not had practice it would have been missed. She looked away from his sneering grin - from his hatred - and stood as regally as the situation allowed. She did not flinch as his tail slowly caressed her back, she did not whinny in need and want as it became a hoof that trailed in a way she had not felt in thousands of years. She simply smiled and nodded gracefully at him.

"Thank you again, Discord. I trust you to find your own way out." Her mask was returned and the snake in the air above her hissed in irritation.

"Of course, Celestia." With that, the draconequus touched the floor once more to give his customary mocking bow.

"Oh, and Discord?" Before he rose, Celestia stopped him with a gentle and trembling hoof to his chin, drawing his yellow and red eyes to meet her own. "While you were always handsome as a stallion, I do not mind you as you are."

"I would have loved to have heard that before ... all this, Celes- Celly." For a moment, his eyes seemed to change. Blue - the clear blue of a sky at noon - in a sea of pure white. For a moment. Then, with the smell of fresh daises and the sound of laughing foals, he was gone.

And once more she was alone.

Author's Note:

Edited by Genjen

Heavy. Like ten thousand years laying on the head of one little, lonely pony. One little pony that tried so hard and broke piece by piece until there was nothing. Until all that was became memories. Until those memories were forgotten. Until only she remained to mourn the times that had once meant so much - those few she could remember. A statue carved in marble and gold - trying to remember what it was like to be a pony. What it was like to be happy once more.

Trying to forget what it was like to be a pony. What it was like to hurt so much.

Chapter title inspiration. Original work by Tool.

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