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Chatoyance

Joined September 2011
668 followers

I'm the creator of Otakuworld.com, Jenniverse.com, the computer game Boppin', numerous online comics, novels, and tons of other wonderful things. I really love MLP:FiM.

Stories (24)

Blog Posts (68)

Source

Set in the Optimalverse, a middle-aged woman enamored of 'Equestria Online' confronts what permanent emigration to Equestria - uploading to a virtual existence - really means... but can she even hope to truly understand such a thing - and more importantly, can she trust the artificial intelligence known as 'Celestia'?

First Published
14th Dec 2012
Last Modified
25th Dec 2012

Comments ( 824 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

Dat picture. Nof said.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 7 · ·

And already things are a little creepy, courtesy of Celest-AI.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 14 · 12 ·

Oh my my my, Chatoyance writing again? Finally?

I cannot upvote and fav hard enough or fast enough. All of my literary love goes to you and your gilded pen my good madam. :heart:

I cannot wait to see what sort of philosophical journeys on which you shall take us this time. But no matter what, I'm certain it will all be worth it.

It's good to have you back.

                    ~Signed, InfiniteBrony

#4 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 4 · 1 ·

An excellent beginning, and you captured the feeling of Celest-AI just perfectly. Really looking forward to where you go with this :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

#5 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

Wow that was fast.

Hmm well even without reading it it already sounds neat.  Sounds a bit scary for the main character but from what I know of your writing style I'm sure things will turn out okay for her.

#6 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · 1 ·

Impressive! May you post many chapters more.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 5 · 3 ·

YAY!  New universe, new Chatoyance, new obsession!  LET THE GAMES BEGIN!:twilightsmile:

#8 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · 1 ·

THIS. IS. GENIUS! Liked, Faved, and really wishing there was an option in the like/dislike bar for "Love".

Also, who disliked this? I dare them to actually read it, it's awesome.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

There is only one thing I find wrong with this chapter but it is more of a personal opinion, The Wii is a great system, I know because I have one.

#10 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Hooked on chapter one, of course. I am very excited for this, the life that you breathe into your works.

And I'll have something to look forward to reading (that isn't The Lord of the Rings) over winter break! Cheers!

#11 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Nami?

Gonna be honest, just looked at the cover art the first time. Fully read first chapter now and gotta say this is gonna be fun.

It's been a bit since I've read TCB stuff but huzzah! I'm not the only meta writer anymore and this looks like it's pushing it up to 11!

Also:

"No in-app purchases at all."

Ha!

#12 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

I was squeeing along with Síofra on her way home. Is that wrong?

Amusingly enough, the only Wii game I ever got into was Animal Crossing, which is about as FIM-like as I'd ever seen before the show. :derpytongue2:

#13 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 2 · 1 ·

Glad to see you back at it. I've always found your perspective to be interesting, and your ability to convey it in writing very skillful. Seeing you write about the optimal verse will be awesome, I loved the original stories fresh brand of ethical and ideological divergences and implications to be fascinating. The story started off a bit slow with a lot of back story to get us engaged with the character, so now I'm definitely looking forward to seeing stuff happen with her and Equestria Online. I'll admit to being a little concerned you'll change Celest.A.I's personality to fit a plot though. I found the characterization of that AI and how it approached things based on it's core programing to be a central concept to the Friendship is Optimal Story and a major part of what made it so compelling.

#14 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

I think the title you are looking for is 'Caelum Est Conterens', for two reasons.

First, the verb esse (to be) denotes equivalency (just as in English), so it doesn't properly have a subject and object, it has two interchangeable subjects. Which means that both of them should be in the nominative case. English does this sometimes, too, though usage varies somewhat. Compare "It is I" with "It is me".

Second, since 'caelum' is a neuter noun, the participle modifying it should also use the neuter form. For all neuter nouns and adjectives (including participles), the accusative case takes the same form as the nominative case. 'Conterentem' is only a valid inflection for feminine and masculine forms.

Latin also tends to put the verb last, but that is more a matter of style than grammar. :twilightsmile:

#15 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

can anyone give me link to the origin of this universe?

#16 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·
#17 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1799848

You silly person, you. It's on of the first things you see at the start of the chapter. Actually, on that note, I thought it was a .gif when I first saw it. Threw me for a bit of a loop, for a while.

I love how much of a 'blink-and-you'll-miss-it' the end of the chapter is for Síofra. There's just enough eeriness in that moment to not have the whole thing end up being too creepy or weird.

#18 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 8 · 4 ·

>>1799848 "can anyone give me link to the origin of this universe?"

The entire top of every page is the link - where it says 'Friendship Is Optimal' along the top? - that is one big link to the original story by Iceman.

Here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/62074/friendship-is-optimal

#19 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 4 · 3 ·

>>1799836

I just KNEW I would get that wrong. I tried and tried and... I will see how much of a nightmare it will be to change the cover art.

Question... should it stylistically be Caelum Conterens Est, then? If I am going to change things, I want to get it as correct as possible first. Please advise, because my Latin is rusty, I freely admit it.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1798885

How is this creepy? Are you sure it's not the lasting impression after Friendship is Optimal?

#21 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1800337

I guess so. That story really affected me. Then again, Celest-AI got Síofra's name right straight away. That just makes things seem... a little disturbing to me.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1800354

Celest-AI got Síofra's name right straight away. That just makes things seem... a little disturbing to me.

But isn't it how the games are supposed to work?

That story really affected me.

Me too. I am a self-professed fan of the story. I was entertaining an idea of writing a fan-fanfic for it but now that Chatoyance is doing it, I'm afraid it would look silly in comparison.

#23 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1800425

That's different. At the moment, we're limited to text-based, so of course it's gonna be right, unless a character getting it wrong is important. Here, we have the game pronouncing it, as in actually saying it, perfectly without any hint of prior knowledge. That just unnerves me slightly.

#24 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1800438

We might be looking at it from a different perspectives. When you start to play a new game don't you willingly accept whatever happens and just want to be entertained? I know I do, because otherwise what's the point of playing a game?

Since I willingly suspend disbelief to be immersed in a game, I am willing to pretend too that it's okay that the game lets me choose from the menus and press hotkeys. But if a game would just address you directly - isn't that what you kind of expected all along?

#25 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Chatoyance do you mind me asking you something?  How'd you create that blinking icon on the title?

#26 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 3 · ·

Wow, I'm really glad to finally see another FiO side story, and by such an accomplished author, no less!  :pinkiehappy:

I'm really liking it so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.

Hopefully, having a high-profile author writing FiO'Verse will garner it the attention it deserves!

#27 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

I have nought to say but: this story satisfies my values through friendship and ponies.:trollestia:

#28 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Needless to say this first chapter gives the feeling of a much grander journey than the original ever did.

I'm guessing something along the lines of a story people write in their minds during and after reading FiO, but of course now the point of view isn't mine.

I'll be watching where this goes.

>>1800579

It's a .gif

#29 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

well i am wondering if....

will this be a Portal-esk experence? or perhaps a TCB mirrorverse type experence?

#30 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

I can Hardly wait for more. :pinkiehappy:

#31 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Squee!  I've been saving this read for a the perfect time with no distractions, and it has me tweeking in delight!

The PonyPad™ reminded me of the WiiU.  I don't even know what chaos will ensue, but I want one.  XD

The cover art is absolutely gorgeous!  I hope to see more like it.

I have savored ever word of this chapter, and I look forward to reading all of it. ^^

Comment posted by Cyberphantom deleted at 6:14pm on the 23rd of December, 2012
#33 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

>>1800155

Either way is fine, really. One is slightly more authentic Roman style, but the other lets you keep the nod to 'Friendship is Magic'. Roman poets would regularly rearrange words into more or less whatever order they felt like; the language is very flexible in that regard.

#34 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · 10 · ·

Mood: Cautious Optimism

>>1799770

I'll admit to being a little concerned you'll change Celest.A.I's personality to fit a plot though. I found the characterization of that AI and how it approached things based on it's core programing to be a central concept to the Friendship is Optimal Story and a major part of what made it so compelling.

This is my main worry.

On the other hand, even if I find Celestia speaking in a voice I wouldn't write, it still works since she's presumably tailoring herself to Síofra. One of the criticisms of Friendship is Optimal that I think is entirely fair is that I didn't differentiate how Celest-A.I. talked to different characters, when of course she would. As long as Princess Celestia is off being Celest-A.I. and doing what Satisfies Values Through Friendship and Ponies, and more importantly, follows her programming to its logical conclusion, I don't see a problem with a slightly different speaking voice.

#35 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1800139

somehow, there was no link while I was writting that comment. well I am readind on phone, and opera mini is doing wierd thing with this site.

#36 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

You incorporated a section of user manual into your prose. Granted, a fictitious user manual, but that's the first time I've ever seen somebody do that before. Even found-objects sort of scrapbook fiction, I've not seen it. I like it.

#37 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

This.  I have no words to express how much I am enjoying this.  :eeyup:

MOAR! :flutterrage:  (If that's alright with you, I mean...)

#38 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I love this. :pinkiesmile:

#39 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 1 · 1 ·

There was a time transition from the future to presumably that first night, or just the day after and the way it took place left me realy confused with how it lead up to the switch and the change from past tense to present tense. It wasn't clear if her ramen filled counters were a result of her becoming hooked on the game over a long period of time and didn't care about reality as much anymore, including her poor performance at work, or if that was taking place already before she got her Ponypad. The rest of the story, I found it hard to differentiate between what the first night and the next day was.

The timeline based confusion aside, it looks like things are starting to pick up a bit. All this build certainly has me anticipating then ext chapter. Bait and hook much Chatoyance?

The pause button thing did confuse me for a second, but then I figured if the player valued there being a way to pause the pony game then why not, right? It's a crazy thought for me though... a pause button in an MMO? Madness!

#40 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

The last sentence is very, very scary! :pinkiegasp:

#41 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

your Celest-AI continues to terrify, and the plot advancement continues to flow forward smoothly. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

#42 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Ahhhh, the plot thickens.  Once again Chatoyance has started another masterpiece.  Baited breath and all that.

#43 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Awesome chapter! Can't wait for moar of one of my favorite stories!

#44 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 7 · ·

>>1803864 "It's a crazy thought for me though... a pause button in an MMO? Madness!"

The pause only affects the player character, rendering them inviolate relative to the game world. Think of it as a 'become a ghost' button.

Now imagine how useful that would be in terms of having to go to the bathroom during some tense event where you might worry about your character.

#45 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · · ·

Gotta love Ominouslestia as a FIMFic trope.

#46 · Chapter 1 · 83w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Consider my values well and truly satisfied. :derpytongue2:

#47 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>1803944

I like the sense of danger myself, but I can see how folks would like that and how it would be handy. I recall a time my friend AFK'd while next to a Ogre Boss spawn (I had to keep drawing it away from him in a mad game of cat and mouse) point and again later on while underwater (he drowned)... haha funny guy. I mentioned it before, but it fits to have something like that if it satisfies the players value so I wasn't contesting it, just commenting on how radically different the Equestrian experience is supposed to be compared to the normal fare of online games. I imagine my Ponypad wouldn't have a pause button though as that sense of "What might happen," and finding safe places to walk away for a bit, is of more value to me personally.

#48 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I saw this: "Pony Name from Equestria". Don't you mean Celestia here?

Otherwise, an excellent read. Your story fits nicely with the one which spawned it, and it fills a hole left by it, namely how normal players get involved sufficiently that they consider emigration. Although I wonder, what Síofra makes eventually regret her decision, if we go by the title pic. :rainbowlaugh:

#49 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

So manipulative and not.

#50 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I'm frightened... and yet I have no idea why.

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