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  • T The Taste Of Grass

    Within The Conversion Bureau Universe, Newfoal immigrants face settling new lands within Equestria. Unfortunately, not one of them knows how their new universe actually works.
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  • T 27 Ounces

    27 Ounces is the story of eight and one half ponies, set within the Conversion Bureau universe.
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  • T The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste

    Earth pony, pegasus pony, unicorn; a newfoal will become one. But there is provision for one other.
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  • T I.D. - That Indestructible Something

    Gregoria Samson awakens transformed into an Equestrian pony - yet no other human being can percieve her new body in any way. What is the incredible, monumental truth behind her impossible change?
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  • T The Conversion Bureau: Teacup, Down On The Farm

    Years after the last human is gone, a Newfoal must face that the past never truly vanshes.
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  • E The Ice Cream Pony Summer

    This series of stories explores the many feelings of summer for the denizens of Equestria.
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  • T The Conversion Bureau: Euphrosyne Unchained

    A young woman prepares for Conversion, but there is more she wants to change than flesh.
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  • T The Conversion Bureau: Letters From Home

    A Newfoal Earth-Pony Stallion writes from Equestria about how Equestrians live and work.
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Blog Posts71

  • 9w, 3d
    In Hell, There Are No Desks

    I'm typing this from my lap, on a new keyboard I am unused to. Had to get a new one, we couldn't connect my old keyboard - they don't make those ancient connectors anymore, and the cable needed is still in a box. Everything I own is in a box, and will be for the next three to four months at least.

    Hah! How the mighty have fallen, eh? Once I lived in a palatial home, now I have no room of my own. My world, for now, is the far corner of what - in a normal person's house - would likely be the 'living room'. The house is filled with hundreds of boxes, and no way to unpack them. Why? It's a little bit Sokoban, and a little bit 'guess what's in the box' and a little bit 'we are so fucked'.

    Intel got caught with their fingers in the European cookie jar, as you may recall, and they had to pay billions in fines. Worse, they got very complacent and ignored the rise of mobile computing entirely, so the pacific rim ate their lunch with cheap, easily modified, dedicated chips for consumer goods. Desperate to look good to stockholders, they did the usual American Capitalist Trick: fire most of the workers who actually do the work in a way that denies them any benefits or severance of any kind. Suddenly, without employees, they look great on paper!

    The way they did this is to announce that if one wanted to work for Intel any longer, one must move to the region around Portland, Oregon. Naturally, this meant that more that 75% of their employees in the divisions targeted would be screwed, and 'choose' to leave their jobs of their 'own volition', thus making their quitting their 'free choice' and thus ineligible for any benefits of any kind - the slackers! The losers! Stupid peasants with homes and communities and family obligations and relatives and lack of resources to move at the drop of a hat!

    It was evil, but damn clever. Force people to have to quit because moving is not possible for most people. Brilliant. Dirty as hell, of course, but cunning.

    That still left tens of thousands of people flooding into a fairly small region, Hillsboro. It was sheer luck we found an overpriced house at all - there is a huge bubble going on as folks gouge the hell out of the influx of Intel folks. House-flip-a-go-go! Gold rush!

    Bottom line? It is impossible to get a contractor to fix a house or turn a garage into a room. And that is a problem, you see, since the entire plan was to convert the garage into my room. For me to live in. That isn't happening. It's so massive an issue, that the guy that set up our internet? He is part of a small army of folks brought in from Colorado just to hook up internet here in Hillsboro. They're letting him go back to Colorado for a week to see his family, then it's another month of hooking up folks like us... the Intel Invasion. They don't have enough native cable guys here to do the job. Consider that.

    My family is hoping that maybe by October or November, it might be rainy and miserable enough that the contractors here might be unable to work outside - or unwilling to work outside - and it might be possible to get some to do interior work at last, and thus finally build me a room to live in. It's a hope, anyway.

    Until then, I am the empress of cardboard boxes that I can't get into... because there is no place to unpack them. I have six pieces of clothing, my shoes, my computer and monitor, my 360 and PS4, a chair, my toothbrush and the medicines I have to take, one garbage can, and my purse with my ipad in it. This is my world. This is my life. I am slowly going through some of the mis-labled boxes, checking them, resealing them, and writing their contents down (the packing crew did a random job, just insane) to find, well, things. More clothes to wear. Even one game for my PS4 to play. But, it's rough going - the house is chock-a-block with boxes. We were entirely depending on having my room done, so that my stuff could get unpacked, so there would be room to unpack other things. That isn't happening. We also expected that the boxes would be correctly labeled too. Nope.

    If I had thought, even for a moment, that everything would be lies and bullshit, and that it would all turn out to be a clusterfuck... I would have done some things differently.

    So, here is my big lesson to you, in case you have to move:

    Expect that nobody is telling the truth about anything, that everything will be fucked no matter what, and that nothing and no man can be trusted. Prepare accordingly: take enough stuff you need to live normally in the car with you, and don't let said stuff get packed up on the moving truck. Even if you have to make six or ten five hour trips back and forth to do it, do it. Keep what you need close to you. Because it will all go horribly wrong. When it does, you will have all of your necessities with you in your fortress of cardboard boxes, and you will be alright until things eventually become rational again.

    I didn't do the above, so now, for the next many months, I must peer at a monitor stacked on six shelf boards balanced on two incomplete drawer shells and type from my lap.

    Because, in hell, there are no desks.

    Anyway, we are in a new house, there is a lot wrong with it, but it will get fixed in time, and maybe in enough months, I will have a room again. And a surface to type on. (In the mean time, I am experimenting with using boards across my chair arms, tilted boards balanced on the edge of my monitor base, and pillows with boards on them as ways to get that 'desk feeling' back. Something will work, eventually. Surely.)

    When I get used to my new keyboard (this one is USB! Huzzah! I am finally in the new decade!) I will continue with my writing.

    So, for the too-long, didn't read crowd: I am down and (relatively) safe, the move is sort of over, and I am the empress of cardboard boxes, all hail me in my palace of cardboard!

    Lastly, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and kind to me during this fairly awful situation. You are wonderful, and I am grateful for you.

    All hail Cardboardia!

    May your boxes never crush

    A land not unlike Minecraft

    Someday the toilets will flush

    All hail the Empress

    ensconced in cardboard wall

    one day the mythical contractors

    will build her unicorn stall

    All hail Cardboardia!

    who knows what's tucked inside?

    Intel and life and human greed

    will ever take us for a ride!

    When you gaze upon a cardboard box, remember: the empress gazes back at you. (No, she doesn't. She's too busy feeling sorry for herself. The stroppy bint.)

    Yay.

    - Petal Chatoyance

    39 comments · 442 views
  • 12w, 1d
    This week and the next is moving.

    And I am in hell.

    Please, Celestia, CelestA.I. - I want to emigrate to Equestria.

    30 comments · 411 views
  • 14w, 1h
    It looks like we have a house.

    A little update on my life, it looks like we have a house to move to.

    Over the past... however long... we have been negotiating for a home in the Portland area. Hillsborough. We are just about to sign - this weekend, actually - and then we will own a home about six minuted from the Intel campus.

    It will need a little work - in order to provide me with a roughly equivalent 'Uniplex' room - the common place where my family gets together to watch or play, and the place I do everything in - the garage will be turned into a finished room with a proper floor and insulation and nice walls and skylights and suchlike. A replacement Japanese soaking tub will take a little longer, but it is in the plans.

    The house we are getting has some upsides and some downsides. It has enough rooms for a polyamoric family of four, which is good - one thing we have learned about being in a group marriage is that having enough private space is really a vital thing. People need some alone time. So a house for us has to have places where family members can just isolate if they need to. Say to work on something without interruption, or even just to chill out.

    The house is quirky, which is good. It appears to have been several houses, in a way. A house that was built on, then built onto again. The stairs are crazy in it, short stairs mostly, but strange in placement because of the haphazard way the place sort of grew over time. It has a moderate yard in the back, decent for gardening in, and a very nice front yard with a mature cherry tree. Mmm. Cherries.

    On the negative side, it is not very isolated - it is in the middle of Spielbergian Suburbia. It is next to the distant outer yard of a gradeschool, hopefully that will not be too awful. We are not 'kids' people, and we don't like noise and screaming and people breeding all over the place. Also, there is an airport nearby, somewhere. We have no way to know if we are on a flightpath that will be hell to suffer under. I guess... we'll find out.

    I tried packing some of my little, fragile things, and I broke down in tears. It was also hard on my stamina. Ever since my heart attack about a decade ago, my stamina has not been great. I'm going to need help packing, a lot of it, and I'm not sure how that is going to work out yet.

    But... the plan is that in three weeks or so, I will be living in a new house. When the shit hits the fan, it happens fast.

    That is the update, for those that care.

    I will keep working on my novel with dedication, but because of circumstances, I cannot promise, nor hope to always manage a chapter a day. I am sorry. I hate this unfortunate fact. I was really hoping to perform like I used to. But... life. The real world always gets in the way of ponies, and that is why real life is always inferior! :derpytongue2:

    Oh, how I wish that the Bureau Mythos, my own Pony Singularity, or the Optimalverse was real.

    But then, I doubt I am alone in that.

    - Petal Chatoyance, July 25th, 2014

    28 comments · 295 views
  • 15w, 3d
    Error Correction

    16 comments · 257 views
  • 15w, 5d
    Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: a new story is coming!

    We have a lead on a house. If things work out, then we may own a new place to live by the end of the month.

    This has cheered me enough that one day, I woke up, and... I wasn't completely sad. I had some energy. I had just a little joy in me. The bright day wasn't shining with despair anymore. I almost felt happy.

    And what powers my ability to write is feeling joy. Even just a little.

    And that translates to:

    Adrift Off

    Fiddler's Green

    A     C o n v e r s i o n     B u r e a u     S t o r y

                                                                  By Chatoyance

    It's coming. The first chapter is even now going through approval. It's a sort-of follow up to HUMAN In Equestria, and sort of it's own novel. It stars, with permission, a reporter character courtesy of Midnight Shadow. Why? Because while it is trivial to just invent a character, using his newfoal 'Frontpage' from 'Midnight's Tail' makes me feel, just a little bit, like the old days, when I was part of a community of writers all sharing the same mythos in joy and friendship. That sort of feeling is precious.

    A note on HUMAN In Equestria. For months and months, it has sat there, unfinished, a blot on my perfect record of always finishing every story. So, I set out to finish it. That was my initial goal. But... stories have lives of their own. Stories are living things, and what happened was that in doing more chapters of HUMAN, I realized an astonishing thing.

    I had already finished the book perfectly ( just as some readers did, in fact, point out at the time ) and I had failed to notice it. Or believe it. I think I didn't want that particular ride to end, really. But... it is complete. The 'new chapters' proved that to me. The book had a perfect, happy ending, plus an epilogue that tied everything up. It was complete, I was just unwilling to admit it. Silly, stubborn me!

    So, now I had two chapters and no book to put them in.

    That is remedied as of now... or rather, when the new novel is greenlighted and online. Soon, I expect.

    Please look for it. I would love to tell you a story, if I may.

    A story of the deepest secrets of Equestria... like what it actually is, what the princesses (and Discord) truly are, and... the little issue of what happens in my Equestria after ponies... and other creatures... die.

    Because an event, with a little Snow Bunny, from HUMAN In Equestria, needs to be followed up.

    Because stories, have a life, of their own.


    I guess... I'm back!

    - Petal Chatoyance

      July 12, 2014








    34 comments · 692 views
  • ...
 838
 14,664
Source

Set in the Optimalverse, a middle-aged woman enamored of 'Equestria Online' confronts what permanent emigration to Equestria - uploading to a virtual existence - really means... but can she even hope to truly understand such a thing - and more importantly, can she trust the artificial intelligence known as 'Celestia'?

As Horrified Eliezer Yudkowsky!

First Published
14th Dec 2012
Last Modified
25th Dec 2012

Dat picture. Nof said.

And already things are a little creepy, courtesy of Celest-AI.

#3 · 97w, 6d ago · 14 · 12 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

Oh my my my, Chatoyance writing again? Finally?

I cannot upvote and fav hard enough or fast enough. All of my literary love goes to you and your gilded pen my good madam. :heart:

I cannot wait to see what sort of philosophical journeys on which you shall take us this time. But no matter what, I'm certain it will all be worth it.

It's good to have you back.

                    ~Signed, InfiniteBrony

#4 · 97w, 6d ago · 4 · 1 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

An excellent beginning, and you captured the feeling of Celest-AI just perfectly. Really looking forward to where you go with this :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Wow that was fast.

Hmm well even without reading it it already sounds neat.  Sounds a bit scary for the main character but from what I know of your writing style I'm sure things will turn out okay for her.

#6 · 97w, 6d ago · 1 · 1 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

Impressive! May you post many chapters more.

#7 · 97w, 6d ago · 5 · 3 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

YAY!  New universe, new Chatoyance, new obsession!  LET THE GAMES BEGIN!:twilightsmile:

#8 · 97w, 6d ago · 1 · 1 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

THIS. IS. GENIUS! Liked, Faved, and really wishing there was an option in the like/dislike bar for "Love".

Also, who disliked this? I dare them to actually read it, it's awesome.

There is only one thing I find wrong with this chapter but it is more of a personal opinion, The Wii is a great system, I know because I have one.

Hooked on chapter one, of course. I am very excited for this, the life that you breathe into your works.

And I'll have something to look forward to reading (that isn't The Lord of the Rings) over winter break! Cheers!

Nami?

Gonna be honest, just looked at the cover art the first time. Fully read first chapter now and gotta say this is gonna be fun.

It's been a bit since I've read TCB stuff but huzzah! I'm not the only meta writer anymore and this looks like it's pushing it up to 11!

Also:

"No in-app purchases at all."

Ha!

I was squeeing along with Síofra on her way home. Is that wrong?

Amusingly enough, the only Wii game I ever got into was Animal Crossing, which is about as FIM-like as I'd ever seen before the show. :derpytongue2:

#13 · 97w, 6d ago · 2 · 1 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

Glad to see you back at it. I've always found your perspective to be interesting, and your ability to convey it in writing very skillful. Seeing you write about the optimal verse will be awesome, I loved the original stories fresh brand of ethical and ideological divergences and implications to be fascinating. The story started off a bit slow with a lot of back story to get us engaged with the character, so now I'm definitely looking forward to seeing stuff happen with her and Equestria Online. I'll admit to being a little concerned you'll change Celest.A.I's personality to fit a plot though. I found the characterization of that AI and how it approached things based on it's core programing to be a central concept to the Friendship is Optimal Story and a major part of what made it so compelling.

I think the title you are looking for is 'Caelum Est Conterens', for two reasons.

First, the verb esse (to be) denotes equivalency (just as in English), so it doesn't properly have a subject and object, it has two interchangeable subjects. Which means that both of them should be in the nominative case. English does this sometimes, too, though usage varies somewhat. Compare "It is I" with "It is me".

Second, since 'caelum' is a neuter noun, the participle modifying it should also use the neuter form. For all neuter nouns and adjectives (including participles), the accusative case takes the same form as the nominative case. 'Conterentem' is only a valid inflection for feminine and masculine forms.

Latin also tends to put the verb last, but that is more a matter of style than grammar. :twilightsmile:

can anyone give me link to the origin of this universe?

>>1799848

You silly person, you. It's on of the first things you see at the start of the chapter. Actually, on that note, I thought it was a .gif when I first saw it. Threw me for a bit of a loop, for a while.

I love how much of a 'blink-and-you'll-miss-it' the end of the chapter is for Síofra. There's just enough eeriness in that moment to not have the whole thing end up being too creepy or weird.

#18 · 97w, 6d ago · 8 · 4 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

>>1799848 "can anyone give me link to the origin of this universe?"

The entire top of every page is the link - where it says 'Friendship Is Optimal' along the top? - that is one big link to the original story by Iceman.

Here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/62074/friendship-is-optimal

#19 · 97w, 6d ago · 4 · 3 · 1. Her Latest Toy ·

>>1799836

I just KNEW I would get that wrong. I tried and tried and... I will see how much of a nightmare it will be to change the cover art.

Question... should it stylistically be Caelum Conterens Est, then? If I am going to change things, I want to get it as correct as possible first. Please advise, because my Latin is rusty, I freely admit it.

>>1798885

How is this creepy? Are you sure it's not the lasting impression after Friendship is Optimal?

>>1800337

I guess so. That story really affected me. Then again, Celest-AI got Síofra's name right straight away. That just makes things seem... a little disturbing to me.

>>1800354

Celest-AI got Síofra's name right straight away. That just makes things seem... a little disturbing to me.

But isn't it how the games are supposed to work?

That story really affected me.

Me too. I am a self-professed fan of the story. I was entertaining an idea of writing a fan-fanfic for it but now that Chatoyance is doing it, I'm afraid it would look silly in comparison.

>>1800425

That's different. At the moment, we're limited to text-based, so of course it's gonna be right, unless a character getting it wrong is important. Here, we have the game pronouncing it, as in actually saying it, perfectly without any hint of prior knowledge. That just unnerves me slightly.

>>1800438

We might be looking at it from a different perspectives. When you start to play a new game don't you willingly accept whatever happens and just want to be entertained? I know I do, because otherwise what's the point of playing a game?

Since I willingly suspend disbelief to be immersed in a game, I am willing to pretend too that it's okay that the game lets me choose from the menus and press hotkeys. But if a game would just address you directly - isn't that what you kind of expected all along?

Chatoyance do you mind me asking you something?  How'd you create that blinking icon on the title?

Wow, I'm really glad to finally see another FiO side story, and by such an accomplished author, no less!  :pinkiehappy:

I'm really liking it so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.

Hopefully, having a high-profile author writing FiO'Verse will garner it the attention it deserves!

I have nought to say but: this story satisfies my values through friendship and ponies.:trollestia:

Needless to say this first chapter gives the feeling of a much grander journey than the original ever did.

I'm guessing something along the lines of a story people write in their minds during and after reading FiO, but of course now the point of view isn't mine.

I'll be watching where this goes.

>>1800579

It's a .gif

well i am wondering if....

will this be a Portal-esk experence? or perhaps a TCB mirrorverse type experence?

I can Hardly wait for more. :pinkiehappy:

Squee!  I've been saving this read for a the perfect time with no distractions, and it has me tweeking in delight!

The PonyPad™ reminded me of the WiiU.  I don't even know what chaos will ensue, but I want one.  XD

The cover art is absolutely gorgeous!  I hope to see more like it.

I have savored ever word of this chapter, and I look forward to reading all of it. ^^

Comment posted by heyzeus christ deleted at 6:14pm on the 23rd of December, 2012

>>1800155

Either way is fine, really. One is slightly more authentic Roman style, but the other lets you keep the nod to 'Friendship is Magic'. Roman poets would regularly rearrange words into more or less whatever order they felt like; the language is very flexible in that regard.

Mood: Cautious Optimism

>>1799770

I'll admit to being a little concerned you'll change Celest.A.I's personality to fit a plot though. I found the characterization of that AI and how it approached things based on it's core programing to be a central concept to the Friendship is Optimal Story and a major part of what made it so compelling.

This is my main worry.

On the other hand, even if I find Celestia speaking in a voice I wouldn't write, it still works since she's presumably tailoring herself to Síofra. One of the criticisms of Friendship is Optimal that I think is entirely fair is that I didn't differentiate how Celest-A.I. talked to different characters, when of course she would. As long as Princess Celestia is off being Celest-A.I. and doing what Satisfies Values Through Friendship and Ponies, and more importantly, follows her programming to its logical conclusion, I don't see a problem with a slightly different speaking voice.

>>1800139

somehow, there was no link while I was writting that comment. well I am readind on phone, and opera mini is doing wierd thing with this site.

You incorporated a section of user manual into your prose. Granted, a fictitious user manual, but that's the first time I've ever seen somebody do that before. Even found-objects sort of scrapbook fiction, I've not seen it. I like it.

This.  I have no words to express how much I am enjoying this.  :eeyup:

MOAR! :flutterrage:  (If that's alright with you, I mean...)

I love this. :pinkiesmile:

There was a time transition from the future to presumably that first night, or just the day after and the way it took place left me realy confused with how it lead up to the switch and the change from past tense to present tense. It wasn't clear if her ramen filled counters were a result of her becoming hooked on the game over a long period of time and didn't care about reality as much anymore, including her poor performance at work, or if that was taking place already before she got her Ponypad. The rest of the story, I found it hard to differentiate between what the first night and the next day was.

The timeline based confusion aside, it looks like things are starting to pick up a bit. All this build certainly has me anticipating then ext chapter. Bait and hook much Chatoyance?

The pause button thing did confuse me for a second, but then I figured if the player valued there being a way to pause the pony game then why not, right? It's a crazy thought for me though... a pause button in an MMO? Madness!

The last sentence is very, very scary! :pinkiegasp:

your Celest-AI continues to terrify, and the plot advancement continues to flow forward smoothly. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

Ahhhh, the plot thickens.  Once again Chatoyance has started another masterpiece.  Baited breath and all that.

Awesome chapter! Can't wait for moar of one of my favorite stories!

>>1803864 "It's a crazy thought for me though... a pause button in an MMO? Madness!"

The pause only affects the player character, rendering them inviolate relative to the game world. Think of it as a 'become a ghost' button.

Now imagine how useful that would be in terms of having to go to the bathroom during some tense event where you might worry about your character.

Gotta love Ominouslestia as a FIMFic trope.

Consider my values well and truly satisfied. :derpytongue2:

>>1803944

I like the sense of danger myself, but I can see how folks would like that and how it would be handy. I recall a time my friend AFK'd while next to a Ogre Boss spawn (I had to keep drawing it away from him in a mad game of cat and mouse) point and again later on while underwater (he drowned)... haha funny guy. I mentioned it before, but it fits to have something like that if it satisfies the players value so I wasn't contesting it, just commenting on how radically different the Equestrian experience is supposed to be compared to the normal fare of online games. I imagine my Ponypad wouldn't have a pause button though as that sense of "What might happen," and finding safe places to walk away for a bit, is of more value to me personally.

I saw this: "Pony Name from Equestria". Don't you mean Celestia here?

Otherwise, an excellent read. Your story fits nicely with the one which spawned it, and it fills a hole left by it, namely how normal players get involved sufficiently that they consider emigration. Although I wonder, what Síofra makes eventually regret her decision, if we go by the title pic. :rainbowlaugh:

So manipulative and not.

I'm frightened... and yet I have no idea why.

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