Cool Mares Don't Look at Explosions
Flurries of snow began to drift down from the heavens, the sky abysmally gray and gloomy. Yet the snow was white, pure and clean. A new leaf was turned over. And so began the transition of the seasons from fall to winter. A merry time approached, filled with tidings and joy. A Grand Galloping Gala and a Hearth's Warming Eve. Outside, the world was freezing, chilled to the bone.
On the inside, things were getting hot. Beads of sweat rolled down my furry body as I clenched the sheets, tearing into them with my claws. Vinyl was panting, working her magic.
"Nggh! Oh, Vinyl! Yes! Yes!" My cries grew louder and louder. Vinyl grunted, hard at work. "Right there! Don't you dare stop!"
I felt all my troubles melt away, my body falling limp.
"That was the best massage I've ever had," I breathed.
"I've got something for you."
"For me?" I gasped, rolling over. "It's not even my birthday."
She rolled her eyes, dashing off into another room and coming back with several items in her magical grip.
"I figured since winter's on its way..."
"Oh, Vinyl, you shouldn't have!" I squealed, touched, hugging her.
"Don't thank me yet."
I caught the first articles of clothing.
"A hoodie? How wonderful," I stated flatly.
"Put 'em on first."
I reluctantly poked my head through the black cloak, grumbling. Hoodies were so juvenile! Vinyl pulled the hood over my head unexpectedly.
"My mane!" I cried.
"Relax. See?"
"I look like a hoodlum."
"No, you look like nopony. That's the point."
I pretended to understand.
"And with these..."
"Egad, not your shades!"
"I wear them for a reason, Octy."
They were a pair of aviator shades, large with reflective lenses and subdued frames. They were certainly stylish, if I were a Pegasus. With the entire ensemble complete, I looked like, well, Vinyl on most nights.
"Look inside the collar."
There was a small tab insert in the front of the jacket. I bit down, pulling it up.
"A mask? Because nothing says 'subtle' like a mask," I mumbled, my words muffled by the thing in my face.
"They're for emergencies, when you gotta bail out. This way, nopony can see your face!" Vinyl reasoned, pleased with herself. "Or you could wear something else, if you don't like it."
"I like it!" I blurted. "I like it a lot. It's very thoughtful of you. Celestia knows how many ponies are after you and I."
I trotted over to my closet, pulling out my favorite black woolen pea coat and purple scarf. I completed the look with her sunglasses, trotting around in a circle to show it off.
"How do I look?" I asked, tilting my shades down.
"Very inconspicuous." Vinyl clopped her hooves in approval. "If you're going to be disguising yourself, you gotta learn how to change accents."
"Accent? I have no accent."
"Yeah, you do."
"No, I do not."
"I can hear you right now, and you have one of the most heavy Canterlot accents I've ever heard. The second somepony hears you they'll know who you are."
"Well, you hardly sound like a Ponyville pony either! You sound more...Manehattanite," I huffed. "And whatever happened to that snooty Canterlot accent? I thought they were hereditary."
She giggled. "You do know that my folks fake their accents, right?"
I gasped. "No way."
"Yes way."
"It'll be a scandal!"
"Shhh, heehee!" She cleared her throat. "Say it with me. Tomato."
"Tomato."
"No, no, you're saying it all fancy. To-may-to!"
"Tomato!" I snapped.
"No, no, you keep doing that thing!"
"What thing?!"
Vinyl growled, "That thing where you, I dunno, make your voice all posh! You keep saying it like, 'to-mah-to'!" She grabbed my cheeks, forcing me to squish the words out of my mouth. "TOMATO!"
"Tomato!" I mumbled.
She slapped me.
"As I'm sure you're all aware, two nights ago there was an explosion on the top of floor of Equestria Daily," Luna declared, trotting around slowly, letting her words sink in for dramatic emphasis, "caused by a...gas leak."
Some members of the Inner Circle tittered, snickering and snorting.
"Sometimes that happens when I try to bake muffins!"
"Derpy, seriously, how the hay do you get in here?" Vinyl asked.
"Through the door, silly!" Derpy giggled.
Vinyl pointed for her to leave. She crashed through the door.
At least she used the door this time.
Luna sighed, "Of course, you and I know that this is not the case, of course."
"Jeez, I knew Vinyl Scratch had a short fuse..."
"At least the bomb was smaller!"
"Yeah, she didn't level the entire building this time."
"That's supposed to be an improvement?!"
"It coulda been worse!"
"How could it have been worse?"
"It could have been like last time!"
"Ooh, yeah. That was pretty bad."
Vinyl snapped her jaws, extending her fangs. They fell silent immediately, cowed by her show of dominance. It probably had something to do with hierarchy. Even the vampires had their own food chain. She tilted her purple shades down, winking at me.
"Indeed." Luna clucked her tongue. "Regardless, I am postponing any meetings until further notice." Before anypony could protest, she held her hoof up to silence them. "This is not because of Vinyl's recent actions, though they may have potentially compromised this group. While her actions may have been reckless, judging by the pony on the third floor to the window on the left with a pair of binoculars, I'm assuming that they are not bird watching."
Silence. I felt a chill run down my spine. Fleur squeezed Fancypants a little tighter.
When everypony slowly started to shift to see, she snapped. "Do not turn to look. We are being watched. I will conclude this meeting in ten seconds. You will all shuffle out of here and be on your way."
We all nodded sullenly.
"Lest you all forget, it seems that we are at war."
No pony wanted to stick around, for obvious reasons. The lycans darted off into the bushes, about as subtle as Vinyl Scratch. The vampires slunk off into the alleys and shadows. As for said mare, she was on her way to work. That left me, all by my lonesome to trot on home.
Even as I took my regular path back to our apartment, I felt uneasy. I was being watched. Turning around would reveal only an empty street. I could smell somepony. I could hear their hoofsteps. I just couldn't pinpoint where they were.
I dashed up the stairs as fast as I could. There was a note on our apartment door with a picture of Vinyl Scratch crossed out with red ink, presumably blood. There was a message scrawled at the bottom:
"Miss Silver Streak sends her regards."
At my hooves there was a copy of the latest edition of Canterlot Today, with a picture of Equestria Daily after it had been bombed.
"Oh buck me!"
It seemed that tonight, Vinyl Scratch was the star of the show. And she was in trouble.
Club Canterlot.
In my head, my brain was already working out a plan. It was an improvement to having no plan at all. I'd sneak in quietly and warn Vinyl, and hopefully get as many ponies out as I could...
A Pegasus wing extended with lightning speed.
"Hey, back of the line!"
I swiped the offending appendage away from my face. "I'm a friend of the DJ."
"I don't see yer name on the VIP list," the bouncer drawled.
"I don't have time for this."
I ducked into the crowd, slinking through, trying to focus on the stage that seemed so far away with the pounding beats. There was no point in screaming Vinyl's name; I doubt she could hear me over the music and the crowd.
There were several deafening explosions, all in quick succession. Had they already begun setting off the bombs? Ponies around me screamed and panicked, scrambling towards the exit. I forced my way against them, pushing and shoving, trying to get closer to Vinyl.
Almost there...
"OCTAVIA, DUCK!"
I hit the ground, moving faster than I thought I could. Several objects whizzed overhead, slicing through the air and shattering against the opposite wall with terrifying accuracy and speed. Vinyl was hurtling her records with her magic! It seemed that the club had cleared out in less than minutes, leaving only me, Vinyl, and several other uninvited guests with silver coats.
At least nopony got hurt.
Good job, Octavia. Always on the bright side of things.
"Vinyl!"
"Don't worry, they're Sapphire Shores!"
I was going to warn you about the armed cultists intent on murdering us all, but alrighty then!
I sprinted, ducking as I felt more objects slam into the dance floor beneath my hooves, rolling over the bar and taking cover. A few seconds later following some more loud pops, Vinyl slid into cover next to me.
"You alright?"
"Just great," I muttered. "Vinyl, they've rigged the place to blow!"
I screamed as a volley of fire slammed into the wall opposite of us, leaving vicious holes. It probably wasn't a good idea being hit with those things.
"Agh, looks like they've got guns!" Vinyl hollered.
"They've got what?" I shouted.
"Gryphon arms," Vinyl said. "Flintlocks. The kind you gotta have claws to use. You point and shoot and they go bang."
"Tell me again how you know these things?" I shouted over the gunfire.
She ignored me. "Looks like they've got 'em loaded with silver bullets. Great, just great."
"We can run now. Hide in the streets. There has to be an exit!"
Vinyl's records had kept them at bay only for a second or two. And sure enough, just a few seconds into the next song, we had some partners on the dance floor. Now they were back, unicorns and Pegasi and Earth ponies, with their manes and coats dyed silver, armed to the teeth with weighted horseshoes and "guns".
"Ready to die, vampire?"
"The wolf's mine!"
"I'll cut off your bucking heads! All of you!" Vinyl screamed.
I gawked, absolutely mortified at the words coming out of her mouth. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm not really going to cut off their heads, Octavia. We just gotta make them think we will."
Somehow, it seemed counterproductive to act like monsters when the very thing we were trying to do was dispel that sort of image.
I sighed in relief.
"Maybe."
"Vinyl!"
"Relax, will you? Stay here. I'll go talk to them." She paused. "Actually, I'm going to go kill them. Excuse me."
"No, wait, don't hurt them!"
"Are you kidding me?"
And there she goes. From the safety of the bar, I watched her fight, moving faster than ever. She was using her gift of speed, along with strength to wreak havoc on the Silver Horsehoes' forces. And she was grinning. She loved this! The heat of the battle, the smell of blood. I watched with a mixture of morbid fascination and horror as Vinyl screamed at the top of her lungs of threats to desecrate their bodies and profane battle cries. As for me, well,
C'mon, go out there!
Are you insane?
Let me out! I wanna play!
I would have been incredibly disturbed by the whiny voice asking to essentially come out and cause physical harm if it weren't for the extenuating circumstances. I roared, unleashing my bestial form, lunging and tackling the first pony I saw to the ground. I felt stronger, faster, braver. A little stupider, if that was even a word.
"About time you cut loose!"
Even when fighting Vinyl had her own sense of style and flair. She was unpredictable, dancing and stumbling around, losing her balance frequently. She somersaulted through the air and pulled fancy kicks and flips. I, on the other hoof, decided against being flashy, resorting to basically ramming my hooves into their heads, smashing beer bottles into their heads, or slamming their head into the closest thing I could find i.e. a table, my face, the ground.
We were doing quite a number. They were already making their retreat, helping their comrades to their hooves and dragging them out for reinforcements to come.
"Time to go!" Vinyl called.
"I couldn't agree more!"
"Vinyl, what are you doing?!" I hollered.
"We gotta grab one of them! This'll all be for nothing if we don't get some answers!" Vinyl dragged along an unconscious cultist.
"Here, put him on my back!"
I shoved myself through the doors, trying to hobble as far away as I could.
"What are ya running for? That's not cool. You have to trot away from the explosion!"
"Club Canterlot is about to be blown to smithereens and you're concerned about how cool you look!?" I screeched, struggling to drag the unconscious stallion along with me, grabbing his mane in my teeth.
The explosion ripped through the night, magnificent and fiery. Vinyl trotted slowly, almost in a casual manner as debris rained down on us.
"Luna says we can use whatever methods to interrogate him."
"Really?"
"No. Actually, we're not supposed to lay a hoof on him," Vinyl pouted. "And she's having somepony come over to arrest him and process him later."
"But he doesn't know that," I stated. "Good cop bad cop?" I suggested.
"First off, that never works. It's gotta be bad cop, bad cop. Except instead of cops, we're emotionally unstable, psychopathic, lesbian supernatural demons with homicidal tendencies and a penchant for cold-blooded torture," Vinyl laughed evilly.
"Vinyl, that sounds absolutely horrendous."
"I know, it's going to be so awesome!"
"You scare me."
I had no idea how interrogations worked. I figured they were like job interviews, except instead of your manager, you had a pony with no sense of morals or ethics or a conscience, and instead of a nice, air-conditioned office, you were in some dank closet with a single lightbulb strapped to a cold chair. Do you have a job? Or do you still live in your mother's basement?
I had a feeling this pony did.
"What's your name?" I asked calmly.
No answer.
"Okay, since you're not answering, I dub thee, 'Dirtbag'," Vinyl snapped.
"Vinyl, that's not very nice."
"I'm not nice. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
"You wouldn't like her when she's angry," I added.
"So maybe you should tell me what you know about Silver Streak," Vinyl hissed, "and your little club."
"You should," I added again.
Vinyl rolled her eyes.
"You don't scare me," he spat.
"What will it take for you to tell us where Silver Streak is?"
"For you all to die!"
"Will you answer us if we make out?"
"Wait, what? Vinyl!"
"N-No!" the colt sputtered.
Vinyl turned to me. "Let's do it."
"Vinyl, what the hay are you doing?!"
"Just roll with it."
We kissed. And indeed, we both made it a very passionate, sloppy, messy affair, with plenty of tongue action and saliva. I pulled away feeling a little violated.
"Was that completely necessary?"
"Nah, I just wanted to do it."
Vinyl was getting fed up. She lunged, starting to choke him.
"You like air? I do too! And I'm wasting it trying to get answers out of you!" she shouted, shaking him around as he turned blue.
"Vinyl, no!" I shoved her off of him. "Out!"
"Excuse me good sir, will you please tell me where your base of operations is?" I asked in the sweetest voice.
"No!"
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"NO! I'll never tell!"
"Sprinkles?"
"What do you think the answer is?"
I slammed the door shut with a huff.
"How'd it go?"
"He didn't talk."
"What technique did you try?"
"Asking nicely."
"You wanna stay a colt?"
Snip snip.
"Vinyl, put those hedge trimmers away right now!"
"You said we can't kill him! I mean, her, once we're finished with him. Can we use the kitchen scissors?"
"No!"
"What about the new bread knife we just got for our kitchen set? I hear serrated edges are really good for cutting," Vinyl said gleefully, putting as much emphasis as she could on the last word.
"Mmm, maybe the paring knife."
"That's too small. Ooh, what about a butter knife?"
"You can't cut with those."
"Who said?"
"I think he passed out."
"Wake him up again."
I dunked a bucket of ice-cold water over his head.
"Hey, what's soaking wet and clueless?"
Vinyl snatched the bucket from me and slammed it over his head with a thunk. "Your face!"
He groaned.
"You thirsty?"
"N-No, not really."
"Good, because I'm dying for a drink," Vinyl hissed. "And I see one right in front of me."
"She hasn't had a taste of blood in ages," I added. "She'd just love to sink her teeth into you."
"Then you and I could be vampires together," Vinyl grinned.
"No! Please!"
"Then again," I started, "I've been having cravings lately. I haven't eaten anything in a while and I've been dying to try pony."
"Y-You wouldn't!"
"I'll drain him of blood first," Vinyl cackled, pausing. "Wait, if I bite him first and then turn him into a vampire, and then you bite him, what would he be?"
"He'd still be a vampire missing a chunk of his leg." I rolled my eyes.
"No, no, I think he'd be like a...hybrid!"
"Wait, whoa, seriously? That's so cool!" I gushed. "See, you should've turned me into a vampire."
"So you could be a vampire lycan!"
"I DON'T WANNA BE A FREAK!" he wailed.
"Oh Vinyl, dearie, could I see that knife?"
I tested the edge against my hoof, sighing. He was uncooperative, unwilling to make any bargains or compromises. This was going to hurt. I pressed the blade into my leg, feeling it cut into my flesh. I gasped in delight, as if I was enjoying it, feeling the blood start to run. I wanted to get him thinking,
"If she's going to do that to herself, what will she do to me?"
I dangled my hoof over his head, trying to look soulless as I dripped my blood onto his face. He squirmed, screaming. Vinyl's lips quivered at the sight.
"Mind if I have a drink?" she giggled hysterically. Vinyl leaned in, lapping away and sucking at the cut.
"You're freaks! All of you, freaks!" he screamed, thrashing in his chair.
"TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW!"
"NEVER!"
Vinyl began licking my blood off of his face, relishing each and every drop.
Ew, gross. That can't be sanitary.
He hyperventilated faster and faster as her fangs neared his throat, whimpering.
Vinyl opened wide with an, "Ahhhh."
"OKAY OKAY!" he squealed. "I'LL TELL YOU DON'T BITE ME PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO BE A LIFELESS HUSK HELP ME MOMMY—"
Vinyl shut the door behind us.
"I think he wet himself."
"I'll get the mop. Ugh, I need a Band-Aid," I murmured, sucking at my cut.
"You still taste delicious," Vinyl purred in my ear.
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Bad cop, bad cop
Genius!
Lol what? I don't think that's how interrogation works.
Saw the title. Immediately put
on a loop.
That interrogation! Bravo!
loving the story bro
That was random. I still like it though.
This is how interrogation works
This is how you truly interrogate people
by the way great chap
Those two make quite a pair. I really liked the interrogation scene. I'd love to see that part animated.
1059274
More like bad cop, crazy cop. I loved it either way!
I love this story. Its great, funny, and just the right amount of dark. One recommendation, though?
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR82Ag4vb5qJ8kVCSm8-TrShmiroGzQLR1-aeofT8P-XJC3lT4po1s8HQjXnw
Other than that? Wonderful stuff, man. Wonderful stuff.
1059286 It's how they work for supernatural lesbian ponies.
I guess they got the information they requested.
Excellent. Many laughs were had.
aw man...
Best interrogation ever.
the interrogation left me rolling on the floor laughing with my friends looking at me like I was a lunatic!
in the interrogation octavia at first was like
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/134/e/9/octavia_as_a_filly__mlp_fim_by_atomicgreymon-d3gd5mi.png
but at the end was like
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/202/229/octavia__s_fiery_concerto_by_rautakoura-d4gg5pg.jpg
duuuude. seriously some funny shit right there. awesome job man/girl.
So they're xenophobes. Interdasting.
Oh lawdy.
You, my good sir, are a GENIUS!!
When i first updated this page, it had 0 views, i come back 20 minutes later and OMG 215. Wow this fic is Popular!!!
Anyway, me and my friends all love the story and escpecially the emotionally unstable, psychopathic, lesbian supernatural demons with homicidal tendencies and a penchant for cold-blooded torture part.
COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! 
So are they back together?
And I'm not entirely sure this story qualifies as "Everyone" anymore.
Yes. This was amazing
"Delightfully disturbing" is all I can think to say. =P
If I didn't know better, I'd say that Octavia is enjoying this just a little too much, Vinyl's doing, no doubt.
single gramatical mistake
She was using her gift of speed, along with strength wreak havoc
Should be
She was using her gift of speed, along with strengthto wreak havoc
Good cop, Homicidal demonic bloodthirsty lesbian cop. Classic!
Hmm...who's worse to be interrogated by, Jack Bauer, Sam Fisher (conviction), or these two...
1059333
1059401
Agreed on both accounts! =P
I laughed at the 'just 'cause' makeout.
The interrogation was fucking hilarious!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia.png
And the music, well, while both songs would seem to fit a higher end dance club, and I feel the the second one started off very well for a fight scene, when you said
I imagined, well, pounding beats, not techno/trance.
Over all great chapter though, one of my favorites!
Do I detect a Burn Notice reference there near the end?
Great story, by the way. Thanks for quick updates!
This is just getting more and more awesome! :D How do you do it?
I like the part with Lesbians
Okay cutting yourself then pouring the blood on some pony's face then having a vampire lick it off is.... GENIUS.
i don't know whether to laugh my ass off, facepalm, or just close the window.
Best. Interrogation. Ever.
I'm putting my money on FancyPants being a spy
I see the Flutterrage reference.
I feel like I've seen an interrogation like this somewhere else...
They don't have sympathy to the recently-changed it seems. Break some more ribs, Vinyl! (But get your priorities in the battlefield straight first.
)
1059333
Aw, let Vinyl have some fun! She's the flirty type, after all!
1059628 Close, but no cigar. That title has already been claimed by mass effect 2
Bravo, Bravo
Typical Villain Goons... Give up TOO easily. Should have just used the hedge trimmers...
"Wait, if I bite him first and then turn him into a vampire, and then you bite him, what would he be?"
Who knew Octavia had such a great sense of humor.
"He'd still be a vampire missing a chunk of his leg."
Very funny, excelent chapter
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia.png
Stupid error 502 Bad Gateway
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png
1059676 That's shortest, not best. This is definitely best.
Best. Idea. Ever! There's a reason I have Vinyl on my icons, besides looking awesome. She really cracks up me in this fanfction.
Many laughs occured during this reading. Very entertaining. Should I ever need to do an interrogation, I'm going to take a look at this and get an idea.
1059840 Don't make commander Shepard cut your balls off and feed them to a Krogan
i don't know if i'm the only one but, i really wont to see more of the stallion come into play in this story
, maybe they even find out why he hates the supernatural so much and why he joined the silver horseshoes too.