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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Your writing as good as usual.
This is so great. You really have made a charming, relatable OC, one that we care about and want to succeed, but also want to cuff when he's being dumb. For real, man, clop or non, Guilty is one of my favorite OCs at the moment.
Crook? The plot thickens.
Crook, huh?
... Hmm...
I was hoping we would get a flutter shy x rarity x guilty threesome. Oh well this was just as good. I love this story in part because its so real. I just hope guilty gets some much deserved happiness soon.
2506191
With Guilty I tried very hard not to put too much of myself into the character, but a lot of it leaks through. Either way, I'm glad you like him. I know I do.
2506375
Fuckin' lol/
Love the story and love this chapter. Although there's one little detail that raised my eyebrow. The use of the birth control potion. Surely Bon Bon isn't in heat? That's the only time an equine can get pregnant. Couldn't help but nitpick this point.
Looking forward to more.
2506456
Guilty has always used them. I don't think I necessarily observe poly-estrus in the Guiltyverse.
2506475
Makes sense. I can only imagine the increase in demand from mares he would receive if his clients could have their "times of the year".
2506456 The should NEVER go into heat honestly... Evolved beings do not rely on when nature tells them to mate.
2506604
Then why is the human population still increasing?
I want Derpy x Guilty romance so bad right now. He deserves her. She deserves him. Dinky deserves a father. It's kinda win win win!
Anyway, awesome chap!
*slow clap*
Very well done!
2506633 Because we are sex craving beings that's why. But its not spurred on by some natural time of the year thing that's for sure.
2506924
That's actually only half true. Women still experience hormonal and even physical changes when they're ovulating. They're just remarkably less pronounced in our species than in most others.
2507356 Duly noted and I totally agree, but heat as most imply it would denote the opposite sex being unable to resist the urges to fuck them silly. This is how nature tells non-sapient beings when it is time to mate. The ponies as sapient beings would be IMO able to resist or even deny the opposite sex this carnal pleasure unless they actually found attraction to them.
You don't just walk up to something you find repulsive and instantly want to bang it because some time of the year thing is telling you to. Otherwise this story is pretty good! Please continue!
"It's was" doesn't parse. I'm guessing you meant "it was"?
"Winter" should only be capitalized when it's being used as a proper name -- "Well, Winter is my favorite season" vs "Well, the winter is my favorite time of year".
You're missing a period at the end of the dialogue.
"Ahs" should probably be "has".
"I'm" should be capitalized.
You have an extra space in between "seat" and the period.
"Obviously" shouldn't be capitalized.
"G-guilty" should be capitalized, as it's a proper name.
"Have" and "needed" have conflicting tenses. It should either be "had" and "needed", or "have" and "need".
I really enjoyed the new chapter and this story you keep laying out for us all is just becoming amazing. Every new chapter there's a new wrinkle in Guilty's life for us to unravel and we get to take another peek into what his daily life is like.
The physical scenes still come across as somewhat lacking though. It makes some level of sense narratively for them to be brief and not very descriptive either emotionally nor physically since it's Guilty writing the story as sort of a diary. However, it would still be nice to give them a bit of an overhaul. I'd read this story regardless because it's Guilty's story that keeps me coming back each update, but having more detailed and intense clop scenes would be a great cherry to top off this sundae.
2506924
That's because the human female cycles isn't seasonal. It loops EVERY MONTH.
2506604 I've heard this argument a lot on the site, but it seems like you are basing it on a sample set of ONE species. Human females are very unusual among mammals for having their fertile period mostly hidden. Not saying ponies MUST have a horselike estrus cycle, but it perfectly reasonable to think they could. Still, it's a good thing for Guilty's business that they clearly are able to be receptive without having to be in heat in this particular 'verse!
2507492
Thanks a ton. I fixed most of them. As for the last part, I split it into to sentences, but left the words the same. I did this because at time for writing (for guilty, I mean) he still does have a client in the morning, but he did already clean up.
Either way, thanks a ton.
2507505
Honestly, I feel that long involved clop just bores me. However, I've noticed that some of my earlier scenes were a bit more involved thatn they've been lately. Something I definitely need to work on. I may try out some more involved clop. in my next chapter. We'll see.
Mostly, I've just always felt that character interaction and dialogue has been what draws me to any fic, so it's what I tend to focus on.
Still though, if my favorite author *swoon* thinks otherwise, I can hardly disagree.
J'adore! Another excellent chapter. I love this story so so so much.
This
If a story could be tuned to a resonance frequency... This would be mine. The massage, i was shakey of girl quake but making her nordic! Genius. Then the massage sent tingles down my spine, the stallion thing made me drool, the threesome was, both adorable, lovable, and just so hot, and.. AND THE NEW DEVELOPMENTS AT THE END!!!
I cant stop geeking out about this!
Wait here i will be back!
...
-runs off... On a mission-
(oh and if this story does go m/m you get featured fic bi weekly next... So.. That)
2506449
*snrk*
I'm sorry, I loved the chapter, but reading that comment....
I'm a bad, bad man.
2506604
I disagree. Just because we're smart enough to do or decide something doesn't mean we don't have instincts that tell us when to do something.Besides, the lack of a natural mating season wouldn't be the result of natural selection. Evolution, natural selection's slower and more overall cousin, only works when one alternative has a very pronounced effect on survival.
Our lack of a mating season is likely a result of our origins: Gorillas, for example, have no mating season: They live in a warm and wet climate that provides sustenance year-round, and thus there is no optimal time to mate. Instead, they can mate whenever they want, likely during a time of plenty. In fact, Humans subconsciously show this behavior in the form a massive birth rates after large wars or economic depressions *Cough* Baby Boom *hack*.
So if ponies were civilized, we could expect them to display remnants of their time as herd animals. They may elect to ignore those instincts the same way we ignore hunger while on a diet, but they would still be there.
I am bad at comments. I like this story. Please write more of it.
2508262
Well, you do a great job with your characters, and like I said, I'd keep reading this story regardless. I was just giving my own two bits. I really enjoy clop stories that actually have a real story to go with them, and you've got the story, it's just that your intimate scenes tend to be short and without a lot of detail, just the broad strokes as it were. It's hard to get invested in a scene like that because it feels like it's over almost as soon as it's begun.
Oh and not to pressure you nor use my status as your favorite author to influence the story, but give me more derpy. Her and Guilty are just so cute together that it gets me right in the feels when they're together.
Seriously, give him a girlfriend. Derpy probably
"The next chapter might be a long one,"
"so be patient."
But ah want it NAAAOOOO!
Huh? "btw"? Did you just get lazy or did she actually say "B.T.W."? Why would they have that? I thought they used letters, do they just use these shortha-hooves there? Or wait, do they text? But I never saw any cell phones. Wait, how would they eve-
Ow, my brain!
This is one of the few clop-related stories I honestly read for the plot, not the clop, because good lord this is amazing.
Stupid Sexy Macintosh
Another awesome chapter. Do have to agree with the people saying the more, physical, scenes do feel a bit generic or bland. Especially compared to the earlier ones, but this is still not a story you read for the clop, you read it for the freaking amazing Characters and story. And the story is amazing, I really REALLY hope that Guilty gets a happy ending, the poor guy deserves it. Or at least gets a break soon, can go a chapter without feeling horrible or sad or doing something he ends up regretting.
Oh and found a goof you missed
Well, I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Love love LOVE your story and especially Guilty.
2510830
Geez, how sloppy of me. Fixing now.
I have a few ideas for chapters in this story.
Guilty Pleasure struck with erectile dysfunction.
Applejack destroying his supply of birth control potions and he is unable to get more somehow.
Guilty Pleasure falls into poison joke and turns female and handles a male client.
Princess Celestia comes by for a visit....
Thoughts?
well i sure as fuck hope so
This character is really growing on me; I'm loving this story man.
However, the sex scenes in the last chapter seem really lacking in detail, which stands in sharp contrast to everything else being so wonderfully fleshed out. It just feels out of place.
As the saying goes, I came for the clop and stayed for the plot. This is a delightful mix of character, story, and sex. Can't wait to see where things go next.
Also: moar Derpy and Twilight.
Oh god, this is portrayed so well. All the feels!
Damn, this is awesome.
Will Guilty be asking Derpy out on another hiking trip in the near future, and assuming he does will Derpy bring Dinky along with her?
Another thing I'm looking forward to seeing is Guilty's next meeting with Twilight. I can't wait to see his reaction when he learns who her pen pal is.
2517627
Sorry, I try really hard not to reveal plot before a chapter comes out.
Thank you, though. Always happy to know that one more person likes my erotic mini-horses.
LOOOOOVE your writing.
If you put out 100 chapters tomorrow in less than a week I'd be wanting more.
Love the characters, love the idea behind it all, (gotta love the naughty parts), really hope you get the time to get more out soon.
This is REALLY good. Keep up the good work.
Your LyraBon is awesome, Quake is awesome, and Guilty is a fascinating kind of messed up.
Eagerly awaiting more.
I've just read the whole thing. Everything was fine and dandy and then out of the blue... a cliffhanger! God damn it, how I hate when it happens. It's like MagusMeister had planned it from the beginning. Get my guard down through 8 chapters and then *BAM* a cliffhanger. Guh... Some fic, can't remember which, had cliffhangers in each chapter. Boy, that was a crazy ride.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at anyone and still like this story very much, just... I found this cliffhanger thingy sooooo convenient that it actually made me laugh. Just my damn luck, now I won't fall asleep. And I was this close to saying "meh, gonna read last chapter next time". Uhh...
I guess someone up there is using my nightly reading habit to make me pay for my sins or smth. Oh well, awaiting continuation. It's a great story.
2538845
You have accidentally stumbled upon my MASTER PLAN!
Seriously, though thanks for reading. I'm glad to hear that people like my story.
I think I've finally placed just where I've seen Guilty's type of character before. He is most like the kestra'chern from Mercedes Lackey's "The Black Gryphon."
Kestra'chern is a Kaled'a'in profession which is a mix of physical, psychological and spiritual healing; a Kestra'chern is usually gifted with empathic abilities, they are counselors in regards to personal, social and marital problems and will use almost any means to accomplish their goal, including their own bodies if need be. Their skills include training in massage, aromatherapy, herbal remedies, therapeutic baths, sexual therapy and Counseling. They are highly respected and sought after as confidants and advisers. Theirs is a highly respected profession among the Kaled'a'in and later the Tayedras, and should not be confused with prostitution.
Pulled the above off of its wiki site.
2556849
Same thing I was actually thinking!
Loving this story. Can't wait till the next update! Soon?