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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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awesome chapter. RD makes everything better.
I was wondering when Dashie was gonna show up. >:3
Finally We see Rainbow Dash. So he has serviced 4 out of the mane 6. Suck on that AJ!!!
In all seriousness...while the detail about Ms. Smile was nice, this chapter does fill a little bit filler. Not much moving forward here.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
The highlight of my week~ I'll be right back with an insightful review and, perhaps, a musical number! Squee!
It was at this point my ribs were aching
And at this point I was in tears.
Homicide by comedy is becoming inevitable
*Gasps and clutches arm*
Ah, from Knight of Wood to Knight of Woods, then?
What's the bet that Crook has actually taken the life-altering news to heart and is packing his bags immediately to go and moral-whoop-ass the shit out of Ms. Smiles? Crook... he's one hell of a poker player isn't he?
Why yes. Yes he is.
Now, I'm reaching 5am from the tail end so I should be back with more because, let's face it, god damn this story is worth everything I can give back to it in kind. Live long and prosper, mate.
spoilers (kinda)
its a little gay (but only a tiny bit)
hope things work out for Crook
great chapter
You said he grabbed a rubber, but he didn't put it on?
*me
Yes! I'm so excited for the next chapter again! You definitely haven't lost your touch my friend!!
I'm also detecting a pattern... Applejack would be a difficult feat, but out of the Mane 6, Fluttershy would be next wouldn't she?
3588140 Keep in mind he isn't writing it to pander to the majority of cloppers who just want something to beat off to real quick, he wants it to be believable. Applejack just won't happen, there has been too much development so far for them to lay, and I doubt Fluttershy would go see the town prostitute.
I suppose a Fluttershy chapter would be nice, but don't get your hopes up.
3587890
epic chapter, RD is best pony from this point on....
you killed me with this ones
3588334 I realize this. In fact, that's why I'm still reading it now.
I just mentioned that I noticed a pattern, and that the patterns all come in natural events. MagusMeister has a good eye for writing in events to make them natural and congruent to the story and it's world. I wouldn't be surprised to see a chapter with Fluttershy, or even Applejack if given enough time to develop (which I don't think will happen, but you never know).
Also, I didn't mean for that to be a "Must see X next!" comment. I like the story with or without the chapters with the mane 6 cast.
3587890
i have this to tell you
[youtube=Pi7gwX7rjOw]
3588425
3588338
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/198282/the-coltcuddlers
Lets ask the experts
edit: i did, they agreed, it is, but only a bit
Crook forgot the potion... just saying
3588488
Crook likes to live on the edge.
3588004
"Into her" doesn't have to be taken so literally
Good to know how it was interpreted, though.
Dash mustve been practising with somepony, then again, Big Mac..
If there are only two left, and one of those is AJ, was Twilight counted, given I thought dhe had only turned up for a test examination, and walked off with a vibro egg in situ?
Glad to see you didn't overplay Rainbow Dash in this one. Too many authors make her out to be some sort of superpony, but nice to see her taken down a peg even if she'd never admit it.
Can't wait for more Derpy love.
I did notice one thing. Guilty seems to be really affected by the personality of which ever mare he is around at the time. Derpy's cuteness. Zecora's exotic vibe. Rainbow's arrogance, etc. Can't believe it took me this long to pick up on the pattern.
He used a condom while bucking Rainbow in her backdoor? Whats the point of doing anal if you can't leave them a nice creamy present at the end?
3589479
it keeps you from getting messy said so earlier
I wish I could upvote this story more and more. Thank you for the new chapter.
Another fantastic chapter!!! I'm looking forward to Derpy!
WHY IS THIS STORY SO FUCKING PERFECT!?
Aww which mean no Derpy session this chapter, I really want to see what their next one is like.
Wait, was this a fair race, or was she flying while he ran?
And suddenly RD's here to fuck. Well, given this was Crook, I could see him getting right to the point about his job and what not, and yeah RD would want to be the fastest there too. Feels a bit odd with this being the first time we see RD in the story and she's right to the fucking but, eh it does work.
Huh, you JUST got the bang the mare you've been lusting after all story, and move right one to finding another one? tsk tsk.
Yes, yes it does.
And this ALSO counts as way WAY to much info Guilty.
Huh, that seems, questionable. Not that it was, but that he would be surprised that hole was the tighter of the two.
Okay, so what did he "grab a rubber" for?
Well, we better hear that story at some point.
which looks like now. Alright then.
Is that what I think it i?
Okay, that was... rather brief, and still didn't answer about the cloud. I mean, DAMN that was a pretty big revelation but, it was s dry, so quick...
It was... or wait, did Crook already call him that before.... been to long since i read the last few chapters.. either way, yeah Guilty's a better name.
Well, what to say overall...
I liked it, as is a given but, not as much as most other chapters. It was good but, just a kind of average, alright kind of good. RD kind of came out of nowhere, just BAM RD, they fuck, and BAM gone. And yet, I can't say any of it felt OOC, felt off, felt like something that couldn't happen normally. It all made sense, it simply felt off.
I love the sex scene in this fic, mostly because rarely are they ever about JUST the sex, it's about the interaction, Guilty and his clients playing of each other, their emotions, about more then just what's physically happening, Here, it was just fucking for the sake of fucking. Which again nothing wrong with that it, simply doesn't feel the same as the rest of the story.
Then the big stuff, the emotional stuff, learning more about Guilty's past, the stuff that actually is into the overall story and doesn't feel like a Big Lipped Alligator Moment gets glossed over. Just came off feeling rather, again, dry, unemotional, it just, came and went far to fast for something that important.
And now Crook is leaving. Gotta say, you did good with him. When he first showed up, I did not like him. He was annoying, loud, far over the top, no I just didn't really like him at all. But he grew on me, mostly through just how much Guilty thought of him, how close those two really are. Yet, still not sad to see him go, other then for how it'll effect Guilty. I might not dislike him anymore, but not actually connected to him either. So, neither glad nor sad to see him go. other then sad for Guilty since it's hitting him kind of hard, and he could really use the support right now.
Overall, this chapter felt... and I really really hate using this term but, it is the only one I can think of that fits...... filler. It was fun, enjoyable, but not as much as the story has been up till now. nothing wrong with it at all, it's simply... average, neither really good or really bad. Which is fine, it just comes out looking worse when almost everything up to this has been SO amazingly good.
Anyway, next chapter, more Derpy now THAT I am really looking forward too.
This story is fantastic!
The characters are awesome
the pacing is great
the sex scenes are no joke
the plot is great
the grammar and the spelling are exceptional
I love this story
3594047
Thanks for the catch. Should've been "hole," not "holes." (the front was still filled.)
3596018
Somebody loves me.
3596080 ...Also this...
[youtube=4-msVEyoq_U]
After reading what has been written so far... I... I... how to but it... I LOVE IT!!!
I cant get enough of this story... the scenes are so well depicted its hard to believe its just a story... and not real in some way.
I want to keep reading, but I have ran out of chapters... It is too awesome, and it got 20% cooler when RD came in
First thing I thought when she tried to take crook.
What happened to the potion that zecora gave him?
Or am i just imaginging this, Im pretty sure that he said that Zecora gave him something?
Perfect 10 of a mare is right , it is definitely nice to have some good fun filled chapters in between all of the maudlin and upset that Guilty seems to go through quite often.
Frankly Zecora followed up by RD x 2 is certainly a good way to keep us following :P
NOW BRING ON THE DERP!
Another great chapter even if it is short. Well done!
Ha I hope rainbow has her own potions.
Btw this story has a severe lack of crotch boob play. Hehhehehehe
Not needed just a thought.
3602496 Yay crotchboobs!
On a slightly less random note, all I kept thinking while reading this excellent chapter was how much RD would turn me off if she were real and I were a hoerz.
Magnificent to see this continuing. We got the moneyshot of finally landing Zecora, excellennnnnt, and now he's been with 4 of the mane 6. I really don't see Fluttershy wandering in there anytime soon, so 2/3 will have to be good enough for ol' Guilty.
Faved
*smattering of light applause*
Anyone gonna tell me what happened with the potion hat zecora gave him? Nobody seems to know.
3634485
She didn't.
pretty good so far. will say that i doubt applejack or pinkie would be anything related to the word 'easy' to seduce. also i have a hard time imagining that no one would ahve gone to derpy's side when she was crying. they are a community that is a bit better than that at least. there had to be at least one other person in that crowd that knew derpy and wanted to help. more than likely, one in every crowd.
also.......... i think that had Crook attacked applejack............. well let us say there would be less pounded applejack and more attempting to transform Crook back into a pony from what ever amalgam of shattered bones that would be left of him. sole reason why derpy isn't in a hospital is because applejack knew she had that punch coming. had either of those guys hit her............. yeah, there would be two conspicuously pony like pretzels lying in the snow.
3602496 udders.......... its not crotch boobs if they are anatomically SUPPOSED to be there.
3634797 I guess you don't fall in line with the majority of the fandom that has em there... we call em crotchboobs. Just go to derpibooru and look it up. xD
I just cannot wait for the next chapter. I'm expecting a lot of complications to arise, possibly all at the same time, just enough for Guilty (or Sour, IDK which to use now) to crack and start giving away his past... or something. Or it could go the opposite way and everything is just TOO fine, if that's even possible. Either way, you throw yourself into a rut for what happens next if you do just one or the other, so maybe some twists will be involved, too. I wish you luck on the next chapter, and to try to not screw this entire story up anytime soon. That would be a shame. Really. (Is it probable? Nah. Possible? Yes. SO DON'T DO IT.)
Well done on everything leading up to this chapter. Great story overall.
“Which I totally proved!” she reminded.
Crook nodded. “Yeah yeah, you beat me in a race.”
I was taken aback. I didn’t know Crook could lose a race. “She did?”
Crook shrugged. “By a mile… but nevermind that. She thinks she...
*Crook was suddenly interrupted as the wall beside us exploded inwards, knocked down by a bipedal skinless (even maneless) ape-like creature dressed in the oddest clothing*
"It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winnings winning!", it shouted and left just as suddenly as it had arrived.
sciencefiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vin-Diesel-Fast-Furious-6-922x1024.jpg
Good story. Though, it makes me glad that there are no escorts or brothels in the show and the characters aren't ravenous whores
Don't worry, we all have our stumbling blocks. This chapter turned out great, though! Can't wait to read the next one tomorrow. (I force myself to read only one chapter per day, to not read all the chapters really fast and have no awesomely-written fic to read.)
>>IkuinJek Pffffffffthahahaha! Wow...that was...unexpected. (The story would have been a LOT more interesting that way.)
So where is Fluttershy in all this?