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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Excellent! I won't lie, I had almost given up. It happens so often here. But you came through.
I was a little disappointed with Applejack. I wanted her to be angry. But I really want is her reaction when she finds out, Guilty's been with most of her friends!
Also. Really looking forward to flutter shy!
yay new chapter
It's good to have you back.
Beth? Wyt t'in siarad Cymraeg?
Good chapter advancing things with Derpy and Applejack. Methinks her big brother may be talking some sense into her. It would be nice if this all ends with some reconciliation, even after all this time, I struggle to see best pony as a bad guy. And now another wait for the next update.
Perfect chapter. Reminded me why I love your fic when I've read thousands (no joke -_-) others. You just know how to make your world alive and believeable.
Good chapter! Though will admit, it's slightly disconcerting to recognize OC's from entirely elsewhere crop up and realize it's THAT CHARACTER. Amusing, but disconcerting.
Yay! So glad to get another chapter. Can't wait for the next one.
I totally started to giggle and smile when I saw this in my inbox, you haven't posted a chapter in a long time.
YAY!
I love the update. It was amazing! Can't wait for more!
Nice to see you alive. Hoping you'll keep up writing til the end of the tale.
Glad to see this story again.
Will we see Fluttershy or Twilight in the next chapter?
A new chapter! nice. poor guilty obviously has little experience in an actual relationship.
Good to see applejack's reaction too, though he probably shouldn't push his luck. applejack being quiet is not a good sign in any regard. she is very prideful, and Crook pushed things too far. either she is still working over what had happened or, worse, she is so pissed off that she cannt let herself just react else she actually attacks guilty. fact that guilty could not tell what she was thinking at the time is a bit unnerving too.
also it seems clear applejack has told no one about what happened considering none of the mane six have beaten down his door yet. the other five probably would agree the applejack is being incredibly cruel for no discernible reason, yet crook's actions were too far. unfortunately guilty is the only pony who knows anything about it. them sympathizing with guilty does not equal them not seeking retribugtion for the humiliation their friends suffered.
though I gotta ask do you plan on capitalizing on that? the other five eventually learning about what crook did to applejack and wanting answers to why. though them not yet knowing does strike me as odd. unless rarity, who loves gossip, has been keeping quiet about it.
4667235 Ydw! Dwi'n siarad Cymraeg! Wrth gwrs dwi'n siarad Cymraeg - dwi'n fyw yng Nghaerdydd!
4667297 Ah, you know us then? ^.^
Woo! Coaldust gets her some man-whore!
:D
4667917 Yup! Followed on Twitter for... goodness knows, I remember seeing your tumblr ages back, and realized I've read a story or two of yours! Talk about small world.
4667927 Heehee! Nice.
IT LIVES!
Just read it. Awesome stuff and you captured my OC Greenhoof really well. Funnily enough, when I write him, I don't often include that snippet of temper but you caught it just right. He was absolutely perfect here. Also looking forward to future chapters. :D
4667915 Oh, dwi'n byw yn Powys.
4668071 Wych! Neis i weld mwy siaradwyr Cymraeg!
And now we play the waiting game... in all seriousness though it was a very good chapter. I really hope applejack is not going to turn out to want him. I don't like tsundere stuff. Other than that, awesome.
perfect, again perfect
4668072 Ydw, ond rwy'n saesneg o Birmingham. Sorri. Dysgais gymraeg ar ysgol uwchradd.
4668101 Dim problem. Mae fy wraig i'n Saes hefyd. ^.^
4668107 Mae llawer o Plaid Cymru a FWA yn Powys.
Efallai y bydd gennych ddiddordeb yn y grŵp hwn.
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/719/welsh-bronies
4668132 Oooh, Plaid? :D
Diolch am y linc!
4668140 Ydych chi'n mynd i BUCK?
4668207 Wrth gwrs! Dwi'n fynd fel Vinyl Scratch a fy wraig i'n fyn fel Octavia.
4668237 Byddaf yn cadw golwg allan.
4668077
Yandere is the true dere.
Update!!! Update!!
YES!
Awwwwwwww, we skip the fun part. Oh well, hopefully he'll actually say something about what's on his mind before she leaves.
Yes it is, now hopefully you actually do it and don't cram your hoof in your mouth trying.
Smooth, real smooth.....
I can relate. Sometimes, just not knowing for sure is worse then whatever either answer would be. Just, the ambiguity can be maddening.
ALL her muffins are amazing.
Typo.
BURN THE HERETIC! Wait... ummm, crap the Heretic IS the Muffin Queen what do we do now?
No, no they shouldn't. It was this exact type of thing that made you fall in love with her in the first place, so why should it change? other then doing it more often?
Makes sense. Sex IS is business, and while the other friends might give her a little extra, or a free sample now and then, you still pay for it. And, then that last bit.... Well that clears up pretty much any issue over that. On Sunday's shes a client, any other night, she's his mare-friend. Seems, yeah seems like a good deal to me.
Yeah, ummm, you THAT bored? Or, just that anticipatory towards Wednesday? Though dang, was hoping for more Derpy/Guilty stuff. but at least he's got the majority of his worries out of the way. Still anxious, but some of the issues have been settled. Just take it one date at a time for now.
Is... is that a real thing?
okay, that was freaking awesome, just, really well done there.
Also, this is going to be good. Let's see, so far he's fucked three of her best friends, been just shy of that with another and good friends with her. And the fifth seems interested in a session as well. Her brother seems to like him. Few more weeks and the only pony left in town that will agree with her at all is Carrot Top.
Doubt she's seen the error of her ways and stopped hating him, but maybe.. just realized how futile being a bitch to him in public every time she sees him is? Just lost the will to fight anymore?
Seems everypony is just getting more used to the idea of him and sex and all that. Love it. So glad things are working out. Even AJ isn't being an utter bitch.. but.. that isn't all the comforting... she might be up to something else...
Yeah Shunning only works if it's someone you WANT to talk to, or is so wide spread it actually prevents you from interacting with anyone. A east as a punishment. As a means of just trying to to embarrass your self in public anymore over being a utter bitch... yeah that works fine.
So she was hot enough to risk taking a dick just to bang her? Damn. Though, get why he was a bit leery, but was he sure the husband would want some attention from him? Or did they just want some stallion to join in on a threeway with the mare?
Who the hell says that? that is just so... lame? Seriously who talks like that? It's nearly as bad as the "I love you wife' line from Lost in Space. Nearly because it's possible he didn't say it in the same dull, completely emotionless tone.
Took me a bit to realize that was an accent, not a typo.
Huh... now I wonder if any clients ever want him to role play.
Yeah that can be a bit rough, but they are the idiots that came to you in the first place.
Was that why he said that rather stupid phrase? there are a lot of better ways to make that clear that don't sound so lame. Also, I'm not seeing her ever saying that.
Wow... Guilty.. I'm wondering if he's saying this stuff just to try and get him so pissed, he won't want a session anymore. At least on some level.
Okay that whole scene was hilarious awesome.
I see what you did there.
“Sorry if we’re a little… worked up. This is all juss ‘appening so fast,” said Greenhoof.
What? She.. mentioned it to Berry months ago according to what Guilty said. And.. that's been at least a day just fro what she said. In fact, if this is Tuesday, he saw Derpy on Sunday, it had to have been AT LEAST three days since he talked to them about it. And again her mentioning it to Berry months ago so ummm... yeah that makes no damn sense.
Again with the puns?
huh didn't even consider how seeing other ponies in a relationship could related to him and Derpy.. now I'm picturing those two teaming up for some clients.... that.. would be REALLY interesting. But no Guilty, not necessarily. Yeah being THAT in sync isn't unheard of, but far from prevalent.
Well Earth pony, and large even for them, and did joke about liking them frail.. yeah should have anticipated that, but more importantly, that last sentence umm, that does not seem right, was it supposed to be that is painful?
That still just really really does not sound right.
Seriousyl it sounds like she owns him or soemthing, in a bad way. Like just, really really does not feel right to hear them talk like that.
But aside from that oddity. that scene was AMAZING! Not to much detail, but enough, and enough passion, emotion, just, hell yeah that was a great clop scene.
Overall, amazing little chapter. Would have liked more Derpy, but what we got was good. Another great sex scene, some interesting developments with AJ. Missed the story and glad you finally got back to writing it, been to long. It's just as good as ever. Hope the next one won't be so long, but understand RL gets in the way to often.
Also, Coaldust.. relly loved the OC's, really well done and would love to see them around more in something, great pair.. aside from the odd 'wife' 'husband' bit, that's just odd. Besides that, great characters. Still wish Strawberry Cream could have had a shot with him though
Great job, loved it, and look forward to more.
4667157 Agreed, just picturing her going off on him, about how only degenerates would sleep with him, insulting any mare that would hire him, only for all of her friends to pipe up about how they've all slept with him.... and then Fluttershy pops up with "Well not me.. but I'd like to.. EEEEP!" Though technically Twi didn't sleep with him either. And RD did, but not as a client. So yeah, so want to see that reveal.
4667235 yeah that IS the one rel big issue I have with this story is how it treats AJ, just.. so out of character and just, does not feel like her. Everypony else is great, but her... just... doesn't work at all. Aside from that, love everything else.
4667849 Why would the seek it on Guilty, when it was Crook that did it? they aren't going to punish a pony for something their friend did. Also retribution does not often seem to be a driving force for ponies, for the most part, some exceptions.
4668395 like rainbow dash? ....... rainbow dash might just try to kill him. whatever crook's itnents, well, fucking her shortly after humiliatng her best friend is gonna look really bad.
they would go to him and try to figure out why crook did that. cause no one else in town knows crook other than guilty.
defnitely not thinking that they would agree wit hguilty here. down to it, applejack was being cruel but it was through ignorance. crook was fully aware of how cruel what he was doing was going to be.
4668365
Thanks for the spelling and continuity catches.
>Big Mares have Big Assets.
Guilty is my kind of stallion.
4668466 Again, why the hell would any of them take it out on Guilty, for something some other pony did? And why did he do it? because AJ has made his best friends life a living hell every since she could for years. easy enough to understand.
4668607 not for the mane six. logically speaking, applejack was acting wrong in a stance of ignorance, yes, yet she did not have cruel intentions. least no more cruel than dealing with any threat, perceived or otherwise.
instead of confronting her about it directly, which would probably have actually had a more positive effect overall, crook manipulated her and humiliated her instead.
applejack was upfront but cruel accidentally. crook was deceptive and cruel intentionally.
and if you actually think any of the mane six would accept what crook did, then you are kinda unaware of the fact theri friendship allows the existence of an chaos crushing, balance restoring magic.
and no they are not attacking him they are just demanding answers. i already said that three times........
well maybe except rainbow dash if she finds out he let her sleep with the guy who hurt herfriend. it was kinda a dick move on his part to not tell her that detail.
4668643 AJ makes his life a living hell, what more answer do you need She's done it publicly enough that everypony know about it. And what Crook did is still a far cry from all the shit AJ's done.
4668678 guess it is subjective. though i would prefer the person being cruel simply out of ignorance, thus the cruelty would stop if she was made to see reason and she would be very apologetic, over the guy who was cruel with evey intentions to be cruel and is far from apologetic.
can't help but think that one of her friends would have tried to talk to her about it. probably twilight sparkle. applejack is not acting like herself overall and it should be concerning ponies.
guilty is not exaqctly, or ironically, innoccent here. in fact he has been trying to turn her loved ones against her and discredit her, if far from aggressively as crook was. he is treating this as a war now, and is going ot just escalate things.
irony of it all is that applejack is using him. using him as something to direct all this pint up anger and frustration and hatred that has been poisoning her ever since her mother left. and all guilty has done is more and more convince applejack that she is right in her beliefs rather than alleviating them like all his others 'clients'.
ultimately applejack is not gonna stop until she sees the pony behind the escort. it is as simple as that. yet guilty is utterly apathetic to applejack so unless a third party intervenes, it is only giong to get worse and worse.
If crook had defended him directly like that, it might have affected applejack, seeing one of the dreaded escorts defend another pony like that. instead crook simply behaved as she believed escorts would behave. so in other words, crook made it worse in hid own apathy when he could have improved the situation.
4668832 They all know how she's been acting, none of them did anything. She hates Guilty and won't give him a chance to do anything but be bitched. AJ is 100% in the wrong here, with 0 fault on guilty at all. Crook, yeah it was a dick move, but AJ more then deserved it. She did everything she could to harass Guilty, stop his business, drive him out of town, and in general, shit that would get you a restraining order or at least a harassment suit slapped on you IRL.
He is not trying to turn anypony 'against her' simply showing them that she is wrong. She is still fully in the wrong and all he's doing is making sure that other ponies see that. Not through trickery, but just explaining the facts of the situation, and relaying on them not being psychotic rage machines to be able to see where the fault lies. AJ.
Was what crook did wrong? Yeah kind of. Was it less then she has coming to her? Yeah, and was it anything any other pony would be upset over? Nope. AJ's been doing far to Guilty for years, if she can't take it, she shouldn't have started it. Every single thing between them is entirely down to AJ acting like an utter bitch.
4668887 ........ its her friends dude. i find it odd no one has tried to talk to her, or t least as we are aware of. be more like big mac, wanting answers but not about the snap guilty like a twig over it.
fairly certain that applejack deserves some form of repercussion, but not like that. whta she gonna learn fnrom that experience other than the escorts are everything she feared? and that was far too cruel and too far.
especially if we take into consideration this whole situation is steming from a very large childhood trauma than it just being her nature.
with guilty..... yeah his primary intention of getting to know the mane six and applejack's loved ones is to use them to discredit applejack's views rather than a desire for personal attachment. just read his dilaogue towards big macintosh.
ultimately he did little to provoke it and nothing to rectify it. and he held the answer, realized why she was acting this way, and instead of doing what he did with so many of his clients, he created pain rather than alleviate it.
4669195 He did zero wrong. Everything was on AJ for being such a total, unending bitch to him. Again why would one single rational pony come to Guilty, at all, over something a pony that wasn't Guilty did? With Big Mac, yeah he wanted to get him on his side, for good reason. The rest, he didn't even realize most of them WERE AJ's friends.
AJ made up her mind and there isn't a thing Guilty could have done to get her to back off. She would harass, assault, and make his life miserable no matter what, so what else was he supposed to do but do his best to ignore it and make sure other ponies see how full of shit she is? Every single thing is all on AJ for acting the way she did for no good reason.
AJ started the war, if she cant take it when the other side actually fights back, that's her own damn fault.
Seems like I've been waiting forever for this one!!! Most definitely does not disappoint, however. You, sir, are a genius.
4668395
It's tempting to want to see the characters you like always portrayed in the way that you see them, but in this case I really like the way it shows AJ's dark side. In the show, all of her episodes where she learns the lesson on friendship, it's always about how her stubbornness and pride got the better of her. And that's exactly what's happening here. Because of what happened to her family in the past, she's taking that pain and anger out on Guilty because of his job, even though he wasn't the one who hurt her.
It's not nice, and Guilty certainly doesn't deserve what she's done to him, but at the same time you can't completely hate her for it either because it's at least understandable for her to act the way she does. One of the biggest strengths of this story, and one of the reasons why it's so well liked, is because none of the characters are perfectly right or wrong. They all feel 'real', with all the strengths and flaws that come with it.
AJ may be the "bad guy" in the story, but even so I can't hate her. She's believable, she's relatable, and even though I want her to understand and admit that she's wrong, I can't say that I want anything really bad to happen to her.
4669789 Yeah I can hate her in this. She is fully and completely in the wrong in every possible way. Guilty hasn't done anything at all to her, ever, to deserve what she's done. Oh no some other escort he's never heard of, or met, hooked up with her mom and she ran away. (And don't like that little idea for her parents backstory either.) Not wanting to be involved with one, and not liking, okay fine. Going out of her way to make his life a living hell every chance she ca? That goes way to far for really stupid reasons.
And I can't see this as "Aj's dark side' because none of her actions, words, nothing about her feels in anyway like the real AJ. She is just so massively OOC, it's not even the same character. She's stubborn yes. But an utter contemptible bitch that makes others miserable out of petty revenge for something they didn't even do? No. Not once have I seen a seen with her and felt like that was really AJ. Characters are more then just their names and appearance, it's the actions, thoughts, intentions, it's what they do and why that define the character, and nothing of the AJ in this fic feels like the real one.
All the rest of the canon character, they feel more or less spot on. A few difrences here and there, but nothing major, they are still the same character. And Changeling Doing A Bad Applejack Impersonation isn't bad a a character per se. If it was an OC, not and canon character being forced to act massively OOC for the sake of the story, (Though not to Merriwether Williams levels at least.) I'd like her a lot more. I do like seeing her role in the story, just, not coming from a character that shouldn't be acting like that.
My ire and anger should be directed at the character for acting that way, but in her case, it's at least partially at the story for making her do it, because her actions do not feel like ones the character would be taking unless the story was telling her she had to, and giving her a really aggravating backstory to try and justify it.
That said it IS my sole major complaint with the story, everything else is amazing. And, like I said, I've seen this done far far worse. *cough* Putting Your Hoof Down * Cough*. Just, character being written OOC is one of my biggest issues with stories.
WUFFINS!
4669944
Well, to each their own I suppose. I like AJ, I really do. She's one of my favorite characters in the show. But given what we've seen of her, we've seen a character that would abandon her friends and family rather than admit that she couldn't live up to their expectations of her, we've seen a character that was willing to put everyone around her in physical danger in her attempt to live up to what she said, even though it was very obviously physically impossible.
To me, it doesn't seem much of a stretch from that to her hating a guy just because of his job. Or rather, not so much hating Guilty so much as hating what he represents. It's definitely a bit darker than what you would see from her in the show, but all of the characters are a bit darker, so it doesn't really stand out to me.
To each their own, I suppose.