The kitchen table was covered in about every assorted spice they had in the kitchen. A large cake had been placed on top of it with the words VILLAIN DOUCHE BASE scrawled on top of it in icing. On the edge of the cake, a toy Star Destroyer had been lodged in the side, simulating its crash into the "base." Dan, carrying a riding crop and wearing an army helmet, walked around the table, explaining each and every detail. The rest of the group was gathered around the table, doing their very best to pay attention. No matter how hard Dan made it for them.
"-and as with Plan J, Plans O-through-Q will involve pretending we are under attack by a swarm of angry bees and using the natural panic it insights to distract the guards at the front gates. But, in Plans O-Q, we will quickly tunnel underneath the front gates instead of pole-vaulting over them as with Plans J and K. And I know what you're thinking: this sounds a lot like Plans C2 and G3. The difference with Plans O, P and Q is that we will be using a smokescreen created by conveniently placed fire extinguishers to cover our escape. Any questions so far?"
"Dan?" Twilight lifted her head up from the table, "I really don't think we're going to get to Plan Q. In fact, I'll be really surprised if we get past Plan B."
"She's got a point, Dan," Chrys said.
"Yeah," they all said simultaneously.
Dan folded his arms and frowned. "Fine. I guess there IS such a thing as being over-prepared but nobody ever complains about it when things go south."
Phoenix pointed downward with his finger and thumb, the ASL symbol for Q. "You're on Plan Q, Dan. You're getting close to running out of letters, in the english alphabet, anyway." (Not counting the few extra plans you added numbers to.) "I don't think we can be more prepared."
"Okay, okay. How 'bout we just go over Plan A again?"
"YES!" they cheered.
"Alright, gonna go over Plan A again," Dan said. He put down the riding crop and picked up two small sauce bottles, one to represent him and one representing Phoenix. The one meant to be Dan was a hot sauce bottle with the word JERK scribbled on the front and the one meant to be Phoenix was a soy sauce bottle with the word NIX scribbled on the front. "Okay, so, to recap: the base we're hitting is the closest one to Ponyville. It's also pretty heavily guarded which means they probably don't want us to hit it, which is why we are. It's a few miles west between Appleoosa and us but we can't use the train or fly there because Vice turned the train tracks into a monorail and the Enclave controls the skies outside of Ponyville."
Phoenix quickly raised his hand.
"Yes, Nicky?"
"Why am I the soy sauce bottle?" They all turned to him. "I'm just wondering- is it because I'm Japanese?"
Dan smiled, shaking the bottle by the neck. "It's because you're the only one in the house who uses it."
The lawyer lowered his hand. "Ahā¦ yeah, right." (I think I just stereotyped myself. I don't know if that's a new high or a new low.)
Sauce in each hand, Dan walked the bottles up to one of the sides of the cake. "As I was saying, Nicky and I will approach the east side of the base. And what exactly is our job, Nicky?"
"Uhhhā¦" the lawyer drew a blank.
"That's right," Dan smiled, either ignoring or oblivious to his response. "We will be providing a distraction for the rest of the group. We will pose as building inspectors coming to tell the Enclave that their base was isn't up to code," he said, putting the two bottles next the cake. He then picked up a maple syrup bottle and a jar of pickles. "Then, Twilight and Chrys are going to approach the west side of the base and sneak in," he pushed a couple of cherries next to them, "with Blast Fuse and Blast Powder."
Chrys leaned over to Twilight. "Am I the pickles or the syrup?"
"I have no bucking clue."
"Meanwhile," Dan gestured to a box of matches sitting on top of a fuzzy ball, "Spike and Fluffle will be keeping a look out from afar. Fluffle, being a master of disguise, will not rouse any suspicion and will make the perfect cover for Spike to hide behind." A drop of liquid fell from the ceiling, landing perilously close to the cake. Twilight and Chrys looked up to the roof briefly.
Dan continued with his explanation. "Once inside, the Blasties will locate the power source for the shield and blow it up."
The two sisters saluted. "It's what we do best."
"We might blow up a few things on the way to the power source."
"We might blow up a few things along WITH the power source."
"We may even blow up a few things that aren't even near the power source."
"Like balloons."
"We like balloons."
"They're nice."
"But you can guarantee the power source will get blown up when you need it to, Dan-o."
"Right," Dan said to both of them. The way they talked back and fourth, it was sometimes hard to tell which one of them was even speaking. "And that's when we bring in the MY-Wing with the rest of the payload. We blow up the rest of their defenses, take out the whole base and then build our own base right on top of it." Several more drops fell from the ceiling. "We hit 'em right in the face with a fiery fist they'll never even see coming. A sucker punch that'll make Vice think twice before he messes with us again," Dan declared, grinning proudly.
Twilight, Chrys and the others all nodded. "I think it's a brilliant plan, Dan."
"Yeah," Spike agreed. "Brilliant and it'll work, too, even."
"This seems like a great plan, Dan," Phoenix added. "It plays to all of our strengths- our ability to distract, Twilight and Chrys' skill at manipulating magic and the Blast Sisters' knack for explosives."
"Awwwww," Blast Fuse and Blast Powder cuddled up to the attorney. "He called it a knack."
"We got a lot more knacks we can show ya, Nick," Fuse said, winking.
The lawyer blushed. (Aaaaaand it's hot in here again.)
Twilight raised her hoof, or rather, pointed at the ceiling. "I think Fluffle brings up a good point, though."
"What's that?" Dan asked, holding the riding crop in both hands.
"What if it rains?"
Fluffle immediately detached from the ceiling, mouth wide open, diving for the cake. Dan caught her with the riding crop and his outstretched arm, holding her up from the table. The fluffy mare gnashed at the cake. "ARRR! ARRR ARRR RRARR!"
"No! No, Fluffle, no eating the planning diagram!"
"ARARARARARA!" She stuck out her tongue, hoping to grasp the cake with its length.
"Fluffle, down girl," Chrys levitated her back down to the floor. She smiled at her companion. "Here, let me get you a piece. Is it okay if we eat it now, Dan?"
The human scratched his chin. "Honestly, I did want to go over things a few more times, maybe make a few slides, do a few dry runs but ehhhhā¦ I guess so. Dig in."
"Thanks," Chrys said. Suddenly, Chrys jumped at the cake and began methodically cutting it with her horn(after she'd washed it of course) until each piece was plate-sized. She then rearranged the letters to spell out I LOVE U DAN.
"Awwww," Dan said, looking at the cake. "Thanks, Chrys. But you misspelled plan."
The changeling looked confused. "Plan? No, Dan I was saying-"
"Here, let me," Dan said. Taking a cake server, he brushed the icing letter D and made it a P, then added the second L between it and the A. The second A he placed at the end. The cake pieces now spelled I LOVE U PLAN A. "There we go."
Chrys looked down. "Yeahā¦ thanks."
Dan then held up her chin and kissed her on the cheek. "Chin up, soldier. We got a lot of work ahead of us." He then walked to the fridge.
The changeling flushed redder than she'd ever been, even when she'd changed into Big Mac. "Iā¦ Iā¦ Iā¦"
Twilight walked over to her clearly-stunned friend. "You okay, Chrys?"
"Iā¦ I am confuse. I am very confuse right now."
"You mean 'confused'?"
"Yeah," Chrys said. "I'm having trouble with 'p's at the moment."
Twilight shook her head. "You mean 'd's?"
"Yeah. Those."
The newly-reinstalled doorbell rang at that instant. "I got it," Dan said, walking off to answer it.
Dan opened the front door to the house, expecting to either see Colress again or a pony from the mayor's office. Instead, he saw something entirely new.
"Good morning," the large reptile standing in the doorway said. The creature had orange-tan skin, wore a top hat and a monocle and was about Phoenix's height, looking just a bit taller because of the hat. "You must be Captain Dan! Oh, it's so wonderful to finally meet a human! My name is Tyran O'Saurus Tuxley, I'm the curator at the Crystal Museum of Extra-dimensional Artifacts." He extended his claw for shaking.
"Morning," Dan replied, reluctantly shaking with him. "You're a T-rex or something? And you'reā¦ from a museum?"
"I am!" the reptile delightedly took off his hat and bowed. "I'm quite a long way from my fellow Saurs near the Saur Domain but with all the political unrest lately it's been quite troublesome to visit home."
"Uh huh," Dan nodded. "What do you want?"
"Right to the chase! Yes, let's cut straight away to the matter at hand!" he lowered his head as if to whisper to the human. "I noticed that spot of bother you had with the griffons the other day."
"You mean Gust's pirate fleet?"
"The very same. You may not know this but I'm in the business of acquiring very valuable historical artifacts. I have a strong suspicion, sir, that an item of most advanced extra-dimensional origin is onboard the vessel you shot down."
"What? You mean the Star Trek one?" Dan asked. "Also, that was like a month ago. You want to talk to the chicken? HEY! I'll give ya twenty bits to eat him."
Tuxley burst out laughing. "Hohoho, I love your sense of humor, Master Dan. Eating him like a chicken, good show!"
Dan looked over his shoulder, somewhat disappointed. "I kinda thought that was what you guys do."
The lizard batted away the very thought. "Heavens no! Saurs are vegetarian by nature, Master Dan, and I am no exception though I be a sojourner in a foreign land."
"So, why are you asking about this now?" Dan said, leaning in the doorway.
"Well, you see, the moment I saw you fighting that monstrous vessel, I immediately dropped everything and had Reginald, my manservant, drive me to your location," Tuxley explained. "I was across town and I noticed the type of vessel it was and I had a feeling, just a knowing urge that within it could be an artifact I've been searching for."
Dan looked dumbfounded. "It took you a month to drive over here from across town?"
The t-rex nodded. "We did have to stop for tea more than once."
"Soā¦ it took you a month because you had to stop for tea?"
The t-rex nodded again.
"Who's at the door, Dan?" Twilight asked, walking up from behind him. "Oh, Mr. Tuxley! It's good to see you again."
The reptile removed his hat, held it over his chest and gave a short bow. "It's good to see you again as well, Miss Twilight," he specifically did not use her title. "I was just discussing with your Master Dan about a matter of some importance."
"Oh, well, would you like to come in?" Twilight offered. "The others are just having cake right now andā¦" Dan shushed her before she revealed their planning session. "Well, maybe now isn't the best time."
"Oh, it's quite all right," the lizard said, not the least bit offended. "I was actually wanting to explain exactly what it is I'm looking for- I have a diagram of it in the car with Reginald. Would you mind terribly accompanying me to my vehicle?"
Dan and Twilight both shook their heads. "Not at all," they said simultaneously.
"Splendid! Just this way!"
They closed the door behind them and followed Tuxley to his car. They were both a bit surprised and yet somehow not surprised to find it was a very heavily modified DeLorean that looked like it could fit at least eight. A crystal pony, Reginald, sat in the front seat.
"Reginald, I do hope you're keeping cool!" Tuxley said, approaching. "This heat is dreadful! Did you remember to charge the batteries?"
"Of course, sir. AC's working fine, Flux Capacitor and Mr. Fusion are fully charged," Reginald replied.
"Very good, very good now can you open the glove compartment and retrieve the schematic?"
"Of course, sir."
Twilight and Dan arrived just as soon as the two unfurled what looked like a roadmap at the side of the car. They joined Tuxley who held it open for them.
"This is what you're trying to retrieve?" Dan said, looking over it.
"Yes, quite a find, isn't it?"
"It certainly isā¦" Twilight remarked. She almost turned her head in a couple places to read it.
Dan looked at the title at the top of the schematic. "Genesis Device?" he read. "What makes you think it's on that- oh wait, that's from the movie, too, isn't it!" he suddenly exclaimed.
The T-rex nodded. "Indeed, sir. With your permission, I would look for it amidst the wreckage of the crashed vessel. We tyrannosauruses are quite the adept scavengers, I assure you."
Dan and Twilight both looked at each other. "Thatā¦ might be a problem."
"We're in the middle of rebuilding the ship," Dan explained. "And upgrading it. It's not quite the same one from Wrath of Khan, either."
Tuxley rolled up the schematic and tapped his prominent lower jaw with it. "Well, that is an inconvenience. I believe I must call my superior on this matter," he turned to his manservant, "Reginald, the phone."
"Yes, sir," Reginald hoofed him a cell phone that was actually a prop from Jurassic World. He pressed a single button and somehow held it up to his ear. "Hello? Yes. Yes? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. No. No. No? Yes! Yessssssā¦ Okay then. See you soon." He closed the phone. "My superior is on the way at this very moment. I'm certain you'll want to speak to them."
"Oh, certainly, we'd be happy to," Twilight said, a bit nervously. "Who are they exactly?"
"Ah, well, they go by quite a few different names, especially where I'm from but I think you'd know her as Daring Do."
No, Phoenix, you're Japanifornian.
Cherry bombs! I get it!
I think Fuse and Powder would love to be represented by Grapefruit.
they stopped at Plan Q? Shouldnt that have been to hire John DeeLancie?
Also, Its a good thing they didnt get to Plan R, because that wouldve left them blasting off again?
Wonder how much Reg is going to be willing to pay for the Device, but then given Daring is handling accounts, and museums never have the same income as private fortunes, she will want it collected in secret?
*starts humming the Genesis countdown track from the movie's ost*
There's really only two plans of action when accomplishing an objective.
Sneaking in...
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Or forget that and just excessive force.
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I quite enjoy plan B.
I wonder what tea tastes like.
7359905 Like mixing hot water with a flower, fragrant incense or the leaves of a plant. It's distinctive depending on the type of tea and can be sweet with added sugar, honey and etc. Can be served hot or cold. I'm particularly fond of a drink called an Arnold Palmer, created and named after the professional golfer. It's a mixture of 75% iced black tea and 25% lemonade. I created a specific drink based on it for this story called the Barnold Palmer, which is 65% tea, 25% lemonade, 5% apple juice and 5% apple cider.
7360335
Thise are some... rather specific measures. Do you meaure it, or do you eyeball it?
Hahahahaha! This whole chapter made me laugh XD Specially the planning parts, and how Dan oh so cleverly represented the Blast Sisters with Cherries.
7358538
That made me laugh, thank you good sir Hahaha!
Damn good work on this chapter man, damn good work! The cake was funny as balls, an Cryssy's constant trying to get Dan to notice her, hehe.
Also... Tuxley... Is he based off of that Tyrannosaurus fellow I see in the comments at times? hoho.
Damn good show man, DARING DO, oh I love her. I do hope she comes back in another episode later this season.
Keep it up man, keep it up! Can't wait to see more of this glorious story from you boyo~
7361190 Yes, Tuxley is representing our Tyrannosaurus friend. I asked him if there was anything he wanted to see in the story and he said I could give him a cameo. The timing really couldn't have been more perfect though, so I put him in a role.
He's actually filling in for Dr. Caballeron.
7360348 Totally eyeball it, my friend. I'm no expert drink maker but I do like being creative, especially with fountain beverages.
7361415
Indeed. It's ... unreal to have enough notoriety in a community to even warrant being referenced, let alone be made a cameo of.
7361448 I think it's an honor and a privilege to have someone like your idea enough to want to use it. But I try to go the next step, to go beyond cameo. Sometimes, a brief cameo is all that's possible but this story is a massive universe in and of itself. There's room for everyone's ideas and I believe everyone can have a piece of it. It's mostly about Dan and his fight to give Equestria something he never had until he got there: hope.
7361415
Hahaha, that is so cool Cameo's are always fun to read, and you wrote out the Tuxley fellow quite well It was hilarious, nicely written once again man, keep it up with those cameo's, I'd love to see another
I had the worst night ever last night: one of my family's kitties went missing so for the first time in a long while Dan was not front of my mind, sorry Dan ... But this morning she came home (and is grounded!)! And then I found this new Episode to brighten my morning even more ^_^
Where do I even start? Firstly:
Oh Nicky, you're the cutest stereotype in the show! Fluffle is the most adorable stereotype, there is a difference!
Oh Chryssy, you know you're the syrup on Dan's crazy pancake breakfast! I know things are bad but that's no excuse to swear Twilight!
Hehe Fluffle ... I was half expecting the ceiling to collapse on the cake but having her try to jump the cake a la Facehugger style was too cute! Don't worry Chrys, it may take a while (end of the season maybe?) but Dan will realise your feelings eventually I'm sure!
Tuxley and Reginald, huh? I gotta know: is Mr Tuxley related to the same Rex that smashed Dan's car? I'm sure I asked you this before but my brain is too stressed to remember :p
Dan Vs Daring Do ... the Episode's titular showdown ... I can't wait!
Like always thanks for the smile your newest episode of Dan's exploits gave me, always your fan forever
7368365 I'm happy you found your kitty And yes, Tuxley is representing Mr. Tyrannosaurus Tux. To be clear, Tuxley is based on Tyrannosaurus Tux and also establishes that dinosaurs exist in Equestria as well. Not too far a stretch considering we have dragons in there, too.
As always, I'm only too touched that you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to the episode. We are PLANNING on making it shorter and more intense because we still have a loooooooong way to go.