Dan drove Knight down the streets of Ponyville like she was his own private AT-AT. Which, for all intents and purposes, she was. But, rather than running in terror at the massive metal mare, ponies stopped to marvel at her. More so, they cleared the way for her, standing on the edge or in doorways, pulling carts aside as she came through, many even saluted and cheered as Knight passed by. They weren't cheering just for Knight herself, however, but for who she carried.
"DAN!! WOO, IT'S THE DAN!!"
"Go Dan!"
"DAAAAAANN!!"
"Dan! Dan! Dan!"
Inside Knight's head module, Dan, Phoenix and the Blasties were able to see everything through a panoramic view from Knight's own eyes. "Wow, Dan, they seem to really be cheering you."
"Oh, you don't know that for sure," Powdy said sarcastically. "They could be cheering for some other guy named Dan. You dunno, chica, you dunno~"
Fusey frowned. "Chica? We're from Colorado. Where does 'chica' come in?"
"What does being from Colorado have to do with 'chica?'"
"That's what I'm asking YOU!"
"Culture and language have no real bearing on geographic location," Phoenix said.
"I know, but I'm asking where SHE picked it up," Powdy said, still frowning.
Fusey shrugged. "Cousin La Blasta calls me chica sometimes."
"We don't have a cousin named La Blasta. Stop making up relatives for us."
Dan growled. "I'm gonna turn the robot around if you two don't shut up! We're coming to a fun stop, anyway!"
"We're stopping?" Phoenix asked. "What for?" (Please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DON'T LET IT BE TACOS.)
"A surprise," Dan grinned. Knight stopped. They were in the merchant district of Ponyville, the south-west portion of town near Mane Street. The massive mare then knelt down and let her occupants disembark from her noggin by way of her left ear. A small staircase deployed allowing them to easily reach the ground.
Dan hopped off first, followed by Phoenix and the twins. The lawyer noticed a signpost hanging above the shop Dan was entering: a picture of a blast furnace and an anvil. "A blacksmith shop?"
"Eeeyep."
"Okay... I think the question asks itself, but, what do we need from a blacksmith shop?" Phoenix asked, following him.
"Swords."
"Swords?"
"Swords," Dan said, approaching a group of metal weapons. The shop had an open-air entrance, same as the other thatch-roof buildings in the area. The shop's owner, a white pony with a black beard stepped up to him.
"I thought we were kind of okay with the cane and umbrella combo we had going," Phoenix said.
"Oh, we are. But I was wanting something special for this job," Dan said, browsing the inventory.
"Something I can help you gentlemen with?" the owner asked.
Dan put his hands on the counter. "I need to buy a sword."
The shopkeeper smiled. "Well, I'm sure we have something for-"
"A flaming sword," Dan clarified. "That's burning all the time."
The keeper's smile changed. "I.. um, well I don't know if-"
"And the fire can be shot out of it like a flamethrower."
"That's not really-"
"And the flamethrower fire is also electrified. With like, lightning."
The shopkeeper frowned. "We don't sell those, sir. I'm sorry."
"Gah." Frustrated, Dan spun around and proceeded to leave. Phoenix caught up with him quickly.
"You still haven't told me why you NEED a sword. We have our own giant robot and a bunch of other weapons. Why do we need more?"
Dan pulled Phoenix's head down closer. "It's not for me, Nicky. Well, it is for me, but it's not for me."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
Dan's expression changed to unamused. "You really want me to spell it out for you? It's for Chrys. And Twilight, and Spike and even Gust."
"Ohhhh," Phoenix nodded, understanding. "You want to equip the whole team."
He nodded. "It's the responsible thing to do."
"It's responsible to give everyone swords?"
Dan pointed over Nicky's shoulder. "Well, it's more responsible than giving everyone bombs."
"Free bombs! Get your bombs, here!"
"Make great gifts!" Blast Fuse and Blast Powder shouted, handing out free bombs from beside Knight.
"How the hell are they able to do that?" Phoenix asked.
Dan shrugged. "I think they have Bomberman powers."
The lawyer thought for a moment. "Okay, yeah, I can see that. But why are we looking for a sword now? Shouldn't we be going after the CMC?"
Dan nodded. "Yeah, but we're also heading into enemy territory. Which pretty much is all territory outside of Ponyville, Canterlot and Cloudsdale. We're in RPG-rules now where the cities are safe zones and all else is territory where monsters roam. So it pays to be prepared. With swords."
"Ah... well, okay then. That makes sense, but we still have Knight," Phoenix said.
"That we do, and I guess we better get back to her before the nitro twins accidentally make a Sword Spell or something," Dan said. The pair walked back to the mech as a line formed by the sisters. But it quickly became a crowd as Dan came closer.
"Dan!"
"Ohmaigawsh, it's really you!"
"It's Captain Dan and the Phoenix!" Ponies began swarming around the two humans. "Will you sign my bomb?!"
"Ponies, ponies, settle down, please," Dan said. "Yes, it's really me and I'm awesome. I will give you all a moment now to process how amazing I am in person and also take photos if you want, but be sure to get my good side." He posed for them and they immediately began snapping photos of him.
Behind him, Phoenix smiled. They were taking his picture, too. He couldn't help but fire off a couple iconic poses. "OBJECTION!! Oh wait, sorry. I kind of just do that instinctually when I make that pose." (The Phoenix... not a bad idea, but I still prefer just Phoenix.)
"Dan!" a random mare called out, "is it really true you beat Zen Zeal with your bare hands?"
"And how you shot down a fleet of pirate ships with a bolt of lightning?"
"And how you have your own pet dinosaur?"
Dan nodded triumphantly. "Yes, yes, it's all true. I am that great and then some. And you guys haven't even heard the half of it."
Phoenix raised his hand, not a full objection. "Actually, that's not really how it happened... and Tuxley's not a pet. Fluffle... kind of is, I guess." The crowd gasped as Phoenix informed them. Rather than embrace the realism of his clarification, it only made their eyes widen in amazement.
"See? I told you!"
"Dan's the greatest hero in Equestria!"
"Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!" They began chanting, so loudly it began to draw others. Phoenix picked up Dan, waved to the crowd and climbed back in Knight.
Dan got back behind the controls and headed out for the edge of town. He sank into the chair, a content expression on his face. "Ah, the people love me. It's a good feeling being a superhero."
"I... so anyway, we're heading back towards the mountains?" Phoenix asked.
Dan nodded. "Yep. Back when we took Ozzy's crazy train to Canterlot for the anniversary. Boy, that seems like a lifetime ago."
"I know what you mean," Phoenix remarked. Knight continued marching. Ponies throughout town continued cheering, a few of them even used their bombs as fireworks as they exited the town and entered the now-dangerous outskirts.
Is it just me or is the end of the chapter kind of... missing?
8161663 Took me a few extra minutes but got it out. It's there now.
Ah, the beauty of explosions...
8161681
And it's everything I could have hoped for!
Owls might be silent, but theyre warm blooded, while giant dragonflies might be cold blooded but they are noisy?
Just trying to think of what animals that Dan could ask Fluttershy, to leave all sorts of intresting little presents around. Especially fliers and diggers. Not much says Knock knock more than a badger forming a thousand pounds of explosive bedding next to your underground bunkers wall.
I mean, if Vice Grip is digging tunnels all over, how does he deal with a tremor of Tatzlewurms, and especially Jeff on holiday?
I wonder if Equestria will return to normal (Albeit Dan-ified) when Vice is defeated. I can't even remember what happened to Equestria.
It is Sunday, I have my morning cuppa in my hand and there's the usual weekly update: my day is perfect
The Ponies of Ponyville cheering for Dan and finally acknowledging him after all he's done to protect them ... This is heartwarmingly awesome
The Boom-Boom Sisters are giving out free bombs? I hope they at least asked for ID before sales cos I agree with Phoenix, that doesn't sound right ... (Realises unintentional pun at the end) ...
I hope at least some of those applause are for Knighty! What is this like the dozen and a half time she's sacrificed herself and been put back together now?
Naawww no Fiery-Thunder swords? What kind of blacksmith is this?
And now for my weekly favourite quotes segment:
Like always Dan, he's right ... Phoenix Wright haha!
Can't say I ever played Bomberman but I know just enough to know this is dangerous. Duck and cover (with the Dog from Duckhunt)
It's nice to see Phoenix get kudos too, Ace Attorneys need love too! Better be careful Blasties! If Phoenix gets his own fan following there may be some competition for you
And pretty much everything Dan said this chapter! ... Is it bad that I would so love to know Tuxley's reaction at being referred to as a pet
No need for sorries! Reading this is now my weekly ritual and my cuppa is still hot so it was just right (dammit I keep making that joke)!
Awesome as always, thanks for the laughs and already looking forward to next week!
You Eternal Fan ^_^
P.S One day we really need confirmation of the Blasties relatives ... like any relatives! Cos I'm pretty sure every single time Powdey mentions a (quite funny) relative's name Fusey tells her to stop making up names! Do they even have relatives? Does their Super-Saiyan Fusion have familia? And where do Vincenzo Santorini and Gaetan Moliére from Disney's Atlantis fit in all this?! What is the truth?!
Hehehehe... oooh the Blast Sisters, you two are honestly the best characters I've ever come up with. Nicely done Barro, nicely done!
And all of these different relatives that pop up namewise, is hilarious xD
Good show!
Aww, free bombs are the best.
Shadow: I wonder if Dan would be able to find me wandering around in this RPG-based setting. Nice to see you use my suggestion.
8166512 I can neither confirm nor deny that at this time. Also, did you not SEE the disclaimer at the top?! But whatever. It should make you feel better to know that Dan is still very much anti-author. And anti-everything. And also anti-anti. And anti-anti-anti-anti. But mostly, he's Danti-everything. And Dan. Dan is very much Dan. And anti-Dan. And Danti-Dan. Dan.