Kindness, generosity, the greatest gifts we can give to one another, are only truly possible when they are given voluntarily. Evil, malice of any form can be a mistake, and then it is not true malice. Misguided evil, mistaken evil, but not true malevolence. Not truly evil. But there is one act in which evil is never mistaken:
Revenge.
Earth
San Garry's Mod, California
Jill and Barry's "Original" Diner
5 years ago
"So I told him, "Doc, if you're trying to slow someone down, you might not want to put all these boost pads all over the place. Instead, just put some free drinks in the lobby and tell 'em all the bathrooms are out of order!"
"Ha! Nice one, Teddy," Dan said, grinning.
Ted leaned back in the booth. "Boy, I tell ya, I'm not working for another one of these "evil doctor" types until I see some real credentials. First Wily, then Robotnik, I'm not sure what their doctorates are in, but it sure isn't architectural engineering."
Dan took a swig of his root beer. "Eh, you can earn all kinds of degrees online these days. My friend Chris is taking courses in art history and he never even has to show up to college."
"Is that a fact?" Ted asked rhetorically. "Well, I'm not surprised. Whole world is getting more 'digital' by the day. I miss the personal touch sometimes."
Dan shrugged. "They're always going to need people in construction. I'm doing the drywall and the floors on the new Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building in the Tri-State area next week."
"What are you talking about?" Ted shook his head in bewilderment. "Construction's becoming one of the most automated jobs on the planet. When we were decommissioning that nuclear plant for Phoenix International, they had robotic forklifts all over the place."
"Yeah, so you have to outbid the robots," Dan explained.
"Outbid? You OUTBID the robots?"
Dan nodded, grinning. "Yeah, well, it's gotten a little easier since most of the robots unionized but it can be pretty tricky. Ultimately though, a lot of those robots can be expensive and these companies seek out the 'personal touch' because it's a cheaper option. Also, because I'm that good."
Ted grinned back. "I knew you would be. And I assure you that the stuff I taught you isn't anything you're going to find online."
"And I thank you for that, Teddy," Dan said humbly. "Really though, I'm just taking this job so I can keep my friend Chris out of trouble."
"You work with him a lot?"
"Eeyep," Dan leaned back. "Mostly for Umbrella Corporation; we did the Arklay Laboratory and the Tyrant Plant on Sheena Island."
"Nice."
Their food arrived- two bologna sandwiches on cold plates, no cheese. Both Dan and Ted were still lactose-intolerant at this time and mostly broke. Bologna sandwiches and a couple ice cold root beers were among the pleasures they could afford on a budget.
Ted was one of Dan's childhood friends, like Chris. Unlike Chris, however, Ted had gone to work for his parents' construction company out of high school instead of going to community college like Dan and Chris. The two men hadn't seen each other in years and only met out of coincidence: Dan was taking revenge on a group of construction workers that Ted's parents' company happened to be competing with. The two cooperated in taking down the rival company and had been revenge partners ever since.
Dan had happily taken on the role of an apprentice of-sorts to Ted. The other human, with slicked hair and an air of confidence about him, also harbored a bit of a mean streak that Dan was more than happy to indulge. Ted taught Dan everything he knew about architectural engineering and construction, skills Dan would put to use later when fortifying Ponyville.
"So is your family's company paying for robots, now? Is that what's bugging you?" Dan asked between bites.
Ted shook his head and looked out the window. "It's a principle thing, Danny. Principle thing."
"Sounds like it," Dan said. He swallowed the last of his sandwich with the last gulp of root beer. He made no comment on the way Ted had called him Danny. Ted's food and beverage were only half-finished. "If it matters that much to you, why don't you come work with me and Chris? Aperture Science, Black Mesa, Hyperion, they all have good contracting work available. And plenty benefits if you don't ask questions, keep your mouth shut."
"Nah, I appreciate it. I've got other plans," Ted answered, still looking out the window, as if expecting something.
A good job wasn't easy to find, automated competition or otherwise. Evil mega corporations, sinister conglomerates or companies that just happened to be owned and/or operated by evil geniuses paid very, very well. In a world where corporate crime, wage slavery and worker/consumer exploitation were common, working for a blatantly evil company that had clear evil goals was, actually, preferable.
Big businesses all too often manipulated their workers, cheated them out of benefits like insurance coverage and compensation, exploited laws to make them work longer hours for less money and in-general just screwed people over. When a supposedly 'good' major companies do that so often it almost becomes a stereotype, it makes working for a company that's mission statement includes world domination a lot easier. It's easier for an evil genius to inspire loyalty- just offer people a little bit more than what they're getting for the same amount of work. Dan and Ted could get better benefits and more money working for a company like Umbrella than a company like Cafe Puree.
They just had to make sure they NEVER went into areas they weren't authorized to go into and didn't wind up as a test subject. Or a brainwashed drone, mutant supersoldier or target practice. That, and Dan and Ted didn't believe the companies were evil; they just did the construction on evil bases. What they were for afterward was above their paygrade.
Ted turned back to Dan. "Speaking of, you got any plans for tomorrow?"
Tomorrow was October 31st, Halloween. Dan's birthday. "No. Why?"
Ted reached into his pocket. He pulled out a spiral notepad and set it on the table. "I think it's time we crossed another item off The List."
Dan started to reach into his own pocket, but hesitated. "It's been quite a while... since I erased anything."
But Ted just smiled at him the way he always did. "C'mon, Danny. You know what we said. Once it's on the list..."
"It gets fixed," Dan said, finishing the mantra. "Well, what is it?" And so, he told him.
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Somehow I dont think Ted is talking Andrex, either puppies or bog roll.
Boo! Boo!
An update on Monday? Most unorthodox! JK, though the idea of Dan even considering erasing something off "The List" is something I'd never considered before...
Huh.
Huh... well this was an interesting chapter, very interesting indeed.
I'm curious now...
Nicely done!
And sudenly I think I know why Dan don't likes Redfield.
Dan would have love working for Rick Scorpio.
8690512
Who's saying he hasn't?
Anew chapter means it's-wait ... what-what-WHAT?! An extra BONUS chapter before our weekly update?! And I'm late to it?! Forgive me Mr Barro
Ooh, this is a 'flashback' episode? I love it! Now lemme see her (dons reading glasses)
... Dan had another friend who indulged in the delicious dish that is always served cold called 'Revenge'?! ... Okay I've decided, I already love this 'Teddy' (unless he turns out to be a dirty traitor in an upcoming chapter in which case I'll cast a curse on his very soul!)
Oh yes, Dan was in construction! Just glad he got out of it unscathed ... yikes can you imagine the devastation Dan would cause if he got caught in an Umbrella 'cover-up' like that Ashford guy who ended up being turned into a (Non-Hellsing) Nosferatu courtesy of his genius albeit insane cloned offspring? ... The shivers ... I haz them
Yup, I like this Teddy guy and hope to see more of him! Any pal of Dan's is a pal o' mine
Now for my favourite quotes:
Couldn't agree more with this clearly genius fellow I only wish I had the skills to seek my own revenge ... pretty sure I'd get arrested too ... lousy anti-revenge English laws! I'm sure Batman never has to putt up with this horse-manure
To borrow a certain red Bro-Pony's catchphrase: "Eeyup!" I always wondered why Eggman did that (I'm unfamiliar with Dr Wily's evil mechanisations so if Teddy is talking about him I apologise).
I learned a few things from reading this: firstly Dan is an awesome humble guy who gives credit when it's rightfully earned! Secondly, I like Teddy even more now that I know he taught our Dan a few tricks to add to his arsenal of life skills ! And thirdly ... Dan worked for Umbrella ... with Chris ... seriously I'm shocked that Chris didn't accidentally add some T-Virus/G-Virus/Progenitor Virus, etc to his coffee by accident and become Umbrella's Most Bumbling B.O.W ... Elise would not have been amused but I would have been
Hmm ... I've never had the chance to try the humble Bologna sammich, but salute it for slaying the hungries of every hardworking worker in the world, including our Dan-tastic leader and his nice friend ... but I'm even happier knowing they didn't order Jill Sandwiches! Yup, I went there and I regret nothing (mostly)!
... was this mentioned before?! Seriously cos I must have missed this if I did! I know Dan made a big deal out of no-Christmas in Equestria but no mention of the day the universe gifted us with Equestria's Most WonderfulOne True Jerk?
PLEASE tell me we'll get a continuance of this (sort-of) origin storyline? I know we've already had Dan's List mentioned numerous times but to see him actually cross something off is quite historic ... history in the making even! Pretty please?
Uh, Honourable Author? A question please: 'Teddy' isn't just an alias and is really that fan *Dan in disguise is he? Seriously cos that guy *bleep*ed me off royally and is the only not-quite-a-victory on Dan's Earth Revenge Record!
Phew, that's everything I loved about this installment ... and I still have he official weekly chappie to go? The yays have been doubled!
Awesome as always Mr Author, and I'll catch you ~next time~ (or as long as it takes to write my review for the next chapter)
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
8698115
I can't say much. What I will say is this: there is only one Ted in Dan Vs.