Dan felt his heart somewhere on his back between his shoulders as he ran down the dark hall. He ran into the darkness until the dimly-lit hall was almost pitch black and the eery glow of the strange Chrys-like pony was no longer following him. He kept running- running and thinking, desperate to find any way out of the maze. But every hall and doorway looked the same.
Actually, from a top view, it resembled the classic Namco arcade game, Pac-Man. Marksaline had taken the role of Pac and was now eagerly chasing not Dan but Phoenix Wright, who was carrying the Blast sisters in his arms.
"Waka waka waka waka- Pac-Man noises- waka waka waka waka-"
"Waaaaa! Save us, Phoenix!" Fusey said, clutching and nuzzling her muzzle into the lawyer.
"WHY AM I CARRYING YOU TWO?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?! WAIT!" Phoenix suddenly had an idea, "Unicorn one!"
"Powdy. Because I'm cute and pouty. Mnyaaaah~" she said, making a kitten noise.
"And I'm Fusey because I'm fussy. And hawwwwttt."
"GIRLS!" Phoenix yelled, "Powdy!"
"Mmmm yessssss?"
"Teleport us! AWAY! NOW! ANYWHERE!"
"Kay, hang on." Blast Powder concentrated, focused on teleporting and... her horn went thpppth. "Daah, crap. Sorry, Nixy. Anti-teleportation rules."
The lawyer was starting to get out of breath. "Okay... okay, can you guys do.. anything?"
They nodded simultaneously. "We can be adorable~"
Phoenix shook his head violently as he rounded a corner. "Girls, c'monnn! This is not the time to be adorable!"
While still clinging to him, they looked up into his eyes, unamused. "Nix-"
"Really?"
"We can't take you seriously when you say crazy stuff like that."
"Aaaah!" Phoenix cried in anguish. "Dan!" he called out, coming close to an intersection.
"What!?"
"Take one!" he said, holding out one of the sisters as he ran towards Dan.
"No thanks!" Dan said, still running at him.
"I'm sorry to do this, Dan," Phoenix said quietly. As he ran past Dan, he tossed up Blast Fuse and said, "Hot potato!"
"Dammit, Nicky!" Dan had no choice but to catch the pegasus. She landed in his arms.
"Sup."
"Grrrrr!!"
"So, is this a bad time to ask how you and Chryssie started dating? Cuz me and Powdy have a bet with Spike and Gust that it started when-"
"ARRGGARRBLARRRHAAAAARARA!"
"Okie dokie lokie pokey, sounds like a bad time. I'll ask later," Blast Fuse remarked. Dan was about to throw her off when she jumped off herself in a manner similar to which Dan would have thrown her.
And Dan was back to running. Now, he was beginning to get exhausted. The day had already had enough running in it and the healthy fear he felt combined with the healthy exercise was beginning to take its toll on his health... healthily. The maze seemed to go on forever, but in reality, he and Phoenix had crossed paths multiple times and were going in circles. Because again, Pac-Man. He turned yet another corner and began another length, the glow following him yet again.
"Hiya Dan!" a voice said as he passed.
"Apple Bloom?" he asked over his shoulder.
"Hi Dan!"
"Sweetie Belle?!"
"Hey Dan!"
"SCOOTALOO?!"
"WAIT A MINUTE!!" Dan dug his heels in and came to a screeching halt. "Okay, rewind!" He started running backwards.
"!naD yeH"
"!naD iH"
"!naD ayiH"
"!ARARAAAAAHRRRALBRRAGGRRA"
"!TIAW !?EM SYAWLA TI SI YHW !?OWT UOY GNIYRRAC I MA YHW"
"-akaw akaw akaw akaw -sesion naM-caP -akaw akaw akaw akaW"
The sun set on a beautiful Ponyville day. Twilight and Spike walked back to their house and noticed how the lovely light of the sun bathed the town in a beautiful orange glow. They'd said good-bye to their friends at the-
Dan stopped. "What the hell is that?"
"That's the first part of the story!" Phoenix exclaimed. "Dan, what did you do?!"
"I ran backwards! Why the hell are we in the first episode?!"
"I don't know!" Phoenix yelled, looking around. "Look! It's Twilight and Spike! They're heading back to the house! You just rewound the whole story!!"
"Oh crap... Nicky, I'm scared now."
"Guys," Blast Fuse and Blast Powder said simultaneously, "walk forward."
"Oh," the humans said. Together, they walked back into the appropriate scene next door.
"What was that?" Phoenix asked.
"This is the Director's Maze. You guys accidentally ran backwards through the fourth wall," Blast Powder explained.
"Ahhh," Dan said, nodding. "That's retarded."
Fusey shrugged. "Pretty much."
"Wait!" Dan held up his hands, "I saw the Crusaders!"
"You did? Where?"
"I ran past them! They were-" he turned around. "Right... there..." Behind them in the hallway were the CMC... and with them was the dark mare who had been chasing them. "Ge-ge-be...aaaa..." Dan pointed.
"Hey guys!" Sweetie waved.
"Sw-Sw-Sw-Sw-Sweetie Belle!" Phoenix pointed. "Behind you!"
"We know," Scootaloo said. "And if you guys would've asked more than one question, you'd know, too. She's friendly."
Dan and Phoenix exchanged dumbfounded expressions. "What?!"
"What?"
"WHAT?!"
"But she-" they stammered. "With the teeth-"
"And the You are food. creepy text voice!" Dan yelled. He and Phoenix looked at each other again.
"Explain," Phoenix requested.
"Guys," the CMC let the tall mare through, "this is Marksaline. She's our friend."
"May I eat you?"
"I don't like where this is going," Blast Fuse said.
"I got something for her to eat," Dan said, brandishing his cane.
But Apple Bloom, with her forelegs spread wide, blocked Dan's threat with a show of defense. "She means your feelings. Not your bodies."
"She uses emotional bonds to gain nutrition. Kinda like changelings," Sweetie explained, stroking her friend's legs.
"Ohhhh," the four others uttered in unison, nodding like carps.
"That makes sense," Dan commented. "We could probably switch her to regular food on the Gemmy Chrys diet."
Blast Fuse raised her hoof. "She feeds on feels?" The trio nodded. "My sister and I can donate! We have lots of feels!"
Marksaline smiled. "I can tell."
"Yayyyy~" the two sisters levitated over to the new pony. The three embraced and were wrapped in a reddish aura that the camera quickly panned away from. What followed next were slobbering and purring noises. Dan's expression was one of confusion... then horror, then approval.
Phoenix covered his eyes and approached the CMC. "So, what exactly are you three doing here? Why are you trying to fight Vice Grip?"
"Vice Grip?" Apple Bloom asked. "Who's that?"
"Seriously?" Dan asked. "How can you not know who we're fighting? The guy trying to blow up Ponyville? And the world? And MY world?! THAT guy?! VICE GRIP?!?!"
Phoenix stepped forward before Dan could get started. "If you didn't come here chasing Vice Grip... who were you trying to track down?"
The CMC exchanged glances. "The one who trapped us here."
"The two fillies who are always messing with us."
"They found a super weapon... and now, they're planning on using it."
"Hold up," Dan said. "Who, again?"
"Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara." As they said the names, the hall lights came on.
*sees rewind scene* ... Okay then. That was a thing that happened.
8209440 Yeah, and you should come to expect these things happening by now. What you didn't know was that it was planned two episodes ago. Happy to finally get it out, anyway.
The Marksaline feeding scene is labeled NSFW:
s2.quickmeme.com/img/c4/c486a935374a15cd74d3a8cfd342bbd759fa9005b6fa96641979b1536e9cc325.jpg
Whoooooooooooooah That was a thing that happened, hehehe.
Good show, good show Barro!
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~
Darn it, I'm late again though! Just came out of a mini freak-out I was having and realised 'I didn't read the new Dan chapter yet!' now lemme see n'ere:
Ahh Pac Man, you glorious gobbling goofball, don't ever change! But darn it Marksy be a bit clearer next time, I honestly thought you were gonna not on Dan's guts Necromorph-style! By the by, is Marksaline the Queen of a different kind of Necromorph that feeds on terror and such emotions and not actually on people like the kind Alyssa Vincent faced (she's my fav Dead Space character of all! Isaac is okay but come on 'Lyssa was a total bada$$ .. till she died )?
What-the-what?! Dan not only broke the fourth wall but also rewound the story?! Does this mean now Dan can rewind time to fill in any plot holes (hehe just realised my unintended pun, I'm bad!) few though they are? Or is this just coz he's in the Director's Lair?
Now for my favourite quotes!
Ahh the mysteries of life Phoenix ... but mainly cos I think Dan would toss them at the enemy lol! Seriously how could you forget their names?! (Omits that Lioness frequently refers to earlier chapters to remember which sister is which)
Aww, of course you are Powdy! No you're not Fusey, it's cos you're fun! Just like Gary Busey!
Luna dammit! Well Phoenix should get to take two extra hits cos he is carrying two extra lives!
Well, despite my own little worries reading this gave me many smile So! Now I'm waiting the Sisterical Reunion, I beseech thee mighty author!
Thanks for making my Sunday and I'll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
P.S A) Dammit those kids actually don't know who Vice Grip is! And B) Dammit again Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon
Soldier: I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you.
MAKE! US! WHOLE!
For some reason, Im now thinking Pinkie would be a top contender for a Kirby Off?
Ive forgotton if Dan etc have even found a weakness in The Director. I mean they definitely aint Dan*2.
I love how cute the Bomber twins were in this chapter, and I am intrigued by the Director unleashing the Adorabullies on Equestria.
Dun dun duuuuuuuun!