Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Who We Were: Dan Vs. The Director

"Oh... uh, hi," Dan said, somewhat relieved. "Been a while since the Crystal Empire. Thanks for helping out with that, by the way."

"It was my pleasure," the hooded creature replied. Its muzzle was barely perceptible, its entire body obscured by the dark cloak it wore. It stood there, motionless and unreadable in front of him. For a brief moment, neither of them said anything in the eerie, cold silence.

"So... um, I was just leaving, and-"

"I don't think you want to leave just yet," the Director said casually. The doors to the cafeteria slowly swung shut.

"Why exactly is that?" Dan asked, wary. He withdrew the Pain Cane from his back and held it with one hand firmly.

The Director's body stiffened and it took a bipedal stance. From its two front sleeves, a pair of long, thin hands materialized and raised to pull back the creature's hood. "We have much to discuss."

Dan narrowed his eyes at the pony. "Lyra?"

CIA Chief Operations Director
Lyra Heartstrings
Fangirl

She smiled softly back at him. "Not quite," the Director said. She tapped her forehead with a single, knobby finger. "Your Lyra is a unicorn, while I'm... well, I'm a lot of things." Even as she said that, her face reconfigured into another one Dan was familiar with. "And did I not tell you to remain seated?"

"It was you," Dan said, pointing at her accusingly. "On the plane. That was you. You were the stewardess."

The Director nodded, giggling. "Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm... not exactly very subtle, am I?" she asked, her face reconfiguring back into a mare-form. Although she bore a striking resemblance to Lyra, it was clear she was somehow a different mare. Her hair was long, stringy and white, her eyes were a single shade of blue and her coat was bluish-white. This was only one layer of a very deep, enigmatic riddle. "Vice was there, too, by the way. He was flying the plane."

"So, you're both the reason I'm here," Dan said. "You summoned me here, is that it? You mislabeled the emergency exit on purpose?"

"Actually, no," she admitted. "Although, we probably would've used you if we'd known but we're not responsible for you being here." She rose her left hand and whisked it through the air, as if her fingers mingled through an unseen web. The lights flickered again; a rush of magical energy flew coalesced into a ball next to her and expanded outward. It formed into a dark cloud about twice her size, thundering and surging with bolts of purple lightning. "Come with me. There's something I want to show you."

Dan stared at the black-purplish mass of evil, pulsating storm clouds. "Yeeeeahhh... you know, as tempting as that sounds, I think I'll pass on the whole 'swirling storm-portal of doom' thing, thanks."

The tiny grin on the Director's muzzle did not diminish. "I'm afraid I must insist," she said, raising her hand.

Dan was about to turn around and start running when he suddenly felt himself pulled towards the void. The clouds began spinning, wind in the cafeteria began to rush and pull him towards the storm. He slid, dove for a table and grabbed a chair as the pull began as strong as a maelstrom. Burnt pieces of the banner whipped around and were sucked in past Dan. It took a while; Dan's legs dangled helplessly as the vortex pulled him but his grip eventually let loose. He fell into the clouds once again.

---

Location Unknown, Exact Position Unknown

The trip from the cafeteria of Halberd Base to... wherever Dan was now was nearly instantaneous. Like his original trip to Equestria, he exited the clouds to find himself in another world. Or, at least what felt like another world. Unlike last time though, he was closer to the ground.

"Uggfff!" Dan hit the ground face-first.

"Sorry about that. Should've mentioned the first step would be a little rough."

"Yeah, I'm sure it just slipped your mind," Dan said, getting up. One thing was immediately clear about wherever he'd been teleported: he had no idea where it was. The sky was dark- either because it was clouded, because it was night or... some other reason Dan could only guess at. He could see stars through them, so that was one thing. The clouds seemed to descend all the way to the ground, becoming a thicker fog that surrounded the area, making it nearly impossible to see through. In the distance, he could vaguely make out mountains, taller than the ones he'd known from Equestria.

"So, I'm guessing you warped me to your secret lair?"

"Well, you're half-right," the Director said. The hooded figure materialized right beside him, nearly making him jump back again. "It's not a secret. Just... forgotten," she said, walking towards the front gate. In front of them was a house. Or some kind of mini-mansion. Dan wasn't sure but it did kind of resemble homes he'd tried to vandalize/destroy in gated communities back in California. This was the first time he actually had been invited to enter one, though so he was briefly excited at the prospect. Until he looked closer at it.

The Director waved a hand and the gates in the front opened. "Welcome to the Paradise Estate."

"The 'Paradise Estate'?" Dan repeated. "Is this like a motel or something?"

The hooded figure shook its... hood. "A relic from another time," she said, running her fingers along the edges of the gate.

"I see," Dan said, stepping forward. Upon closer inspection, the building was clearly dilapidated. Shingles were missing from the roof, the gate's bars were bent in several places and the concrete had cracks running up the sides of the walls. He'd seen houses like this before, even fixed them up. The only thing that was missing was some well-placed graffiti and bars on the windows. But the windows seemed to be in perfect condition... no, wait, they're missing the glass. Clearly, the place was once some regal manor of some kind but had been reduced to a total dump. At the very least, it was familiar.

"This is your house, isn't it?" Dan asked. "Looks like you need some new... everything."

She nodded, smiling. "I couldn't agree more. Come on in, I'll make you some tea." The human hesitated, then remained steadfast in place. She hovered back down to him. "I promise you'll want to hear what I have to say. It pertains to some friends you're... missing at the moment."

The human eyed the smiling, giggling creature. "Sure," he replied, stepping inside. The gate creaked shut behind him.

The interior of the estate didn't look any better than the outside. A very small courtyard separated the two main structures, twin domiciles that made up the living quarters of the estate. In the back, a pool was situated behind the courtyard with its own canopy over it but both it and the pool hadn't seen service in years. A table with its own bent umbrella sat in the center of the courtyard, complete with its own lawn chairs, both of which looked relatively new.

"It has been some time," the Director said, walking up to the table. She pulled out one of the lawn chairs. "Have a seat and I'll get the tea started."

Dan sighed. "Of course you will." He flopped in the chair, deciding it was best to just let things play out. Checking his cell phone, he was not surprised to see he had no reception. Evil, ominous and cryptic settings never had good coverage.

After a few minutes, the Director walked back into the courtyard with a tray, kettle and cups. "It has been some time."

"Since you had guests?"

"That too," she said, setting things down. Carefully, she set out both tea cups on their own saucer and poured the tea. Steam rose from the liquid, quickly blending in with the fog as it escaped. Dan stirred, took a light sip and gave her a single nod of approval. The Director smiled and took her seat. "I could easily do this with magic. Snap my fingers, wave my hand or even say the right words and the tea would prepare and pour itself," she said, setting the kettle down. She caressed the handle with a her hand. "I like using my hands, though. The sensation of actually feeling something... touching it. Magic doesn't provide that."

"Uh huh," Dan said, sipping again. "I'm sure Lyra would agree. She likes hands, too. Might get her a pair of those gauntlet-things Vice Grip wears once I rip them off him."

The Director smiled. "Hm-hmm-hmm... she'd like that."

"Yep."

"You know why Vice's boots don't have toes on them?"

"Can't say I do," Dan answered.

"Hehehe... he actually didn't know humans had toes for a while," she said, taking a sip from her own cup. "The only times he'd seen humans, they had all been wearing shoes. He thought that's what your feet actually looked like and didn't really know they were just covers for them," she explained. "He's kind of funny when you think about him. A lot like you, actually."

"Yeah, I'm sure he's a hoot," Dan said, setting his tea down. "Guy threatens two different planets with the same weapon. He just must be a riot at parties." The sarcasm in Dan's voice was as thick as the fog around them. "The thing is, he's NOTHING like me. I don't threaten anybody like he does; I get results. People can do what they want but if they try to screw me over, THEN I destroy them. What Vice does is like... the reverse of that."

The Director shrugged. "Well, he's not quite you but he's the closest thing to you in Equestria."

"Bullshit," Dan point-blank fired back. "I'm a guard captain. Vice Grip's a cat, a chair and a camera angle away from being Dr. Claw. Seriously, tell him to turn around and say, "I'll get you next time, Gadget!" He even has the same claws already!"

"That does sound like a fun idea... I might have to do that," she said. "However, you do share a lot in common with him. You both try and risk much to change the worlds you're from, for one. You're both quite tenacious, determined and resolute in your beliefs. And you're both quite adept at improvising and building things."

"Heh, my stuff lasts longer than his, though," he said, grinning with satisfaction. He noticed the hooded menace still staring at him, almost as fond as fascinated. It made his skin crawl and was a reminder that he was still playing into someone else's hands. "So, we're both handy and idealistic. What's your point?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, holding her cup and drinking from it with both hands. "Just something interesting I noticed, is all."

"Yeah, I'll bet." He finished his tea and set the cup down. "What's your deal, though? What do you get out of all of this?"

Again, the Director shrugged casually. "A good show, what else? Vice wanted to destroy Equestria, I convinced him to attack Earth instead and I told him you were the key to getting there."

"And why me?" Dan asked.

"Well, as you've already been told, the Sword Spells require a magical connection to Earth in order to be effective on it. That's how magic works: it works through connections and bonds that react with one another, like the connection between different atoms. For all Vice's scientific genius, he still fails to understand how magic works sometimes," she said, sipping and giggling. "We needed someone angry enough to want to destroy Earth, someone so fed up with the planet and everything in it that they'd be willing to just vaporize it all. We found you."

It made sense. To Dan, at least, it was a reason why he was here. Heck, he'd felt mad enough to want to nuke things before but... he'd never actually do it. Right? "So... he still needs me to get to Earth and blow it up. Is that it?"

The Director shook her head. "Not exactly. See, he's able to figure out just about any form of magic in time. He'll eventually learn how to reach Earth without magic. But, if he kills you or any of your friends, he knows he'll be killing an option he might have to use later. As a scientist, he can't allow himself to do something that's so blatantly illogical, impractical. Despite the fact that his true motivation is revenge..." a sinister smile spread over her lips, "he can't seem to bring himself to exact it for revenge alone."

"Revenge?" Dan pointed at the word. "So all that crap about "Equestria's stolen future" and building a better tomorrow, that's all a crock, isn't it?"

She shook her head again. "Again, not exactly. But why not kill two birds with one stone?" she asked, giggling again. It pissed Dan off to know end, watching her smugly chortle away. But he endured. "Why not destroy the old world, erase the mistakes of the past while at the same time building the foundation for a brighter future?" The Director's smile faded briefly. "Even better when they deserve it."

Ah ha! Dan caught that, using perceptive skills and analysis he'd picked up from Phoenix. "When they deserve it," he repeated, "That's an interesting way to put it, don't you think? Almost like you agree with Vice Grip. Almost like you..." he trailed off.

The Director now stared at him. And she wasn't smiling. "Of course I agree with him. Equestria has to change, it's obvious. That's why you're here and not on Earth, it's why we had to get rid of Tia and Luan so that they-"

Now, it was Dan's turn to smile. "Wait wait wait wait," he held up his hand, "you just said EQUESTRIA has to change. I thought Earth was the target. Isn't that why he needs me- so he can summon his doomsday missiles right to my world's front door?"

"Oops," the Director said. Her smile returned... more sinister than it had ever been. "I may have forgotten to mention that. I may have used my contacts on Earth to alert them that a nuclear threat may be imminent. When Vice launched the Sword Spells at Earth, I had it set up so that Russia, China and the United States would be able to retaliate in full... just before they were wiped off the face of existence."

Dan's mouth hung open in near-disbelief. "You're insane. You would've blown up both Earth and Equestria...," he said, shaking his head. "You're worse than he is."

She smiled, finished drinking and then held the cup in her hands, caressing it. "But you stopped him. For now, at least. You delayed Fallout for at least a few months, bought you, your friends and all of ponies and humanity a little more time. That's something worth celebrating, isn't it?"

"Why? Why are you doing this? This is all just some kind of twisted game to you?!"

"A game I enjoy watching, Dan. Whoever wins, Equestria and Earth will never be the same," she said, smiling.

"WHY?!" Dan raged. He got up, slammed his cup down on the table but it didn't crack. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!!" he yelled in her face.

"Like I told you in the Crystal Empire, I'm a lot of things," she said, still sitting. She held up her free hand and looked at it. "The hands are Lyra's... she would like them, I'm sure. I think my face is Trixie's and I'm pretty sure my magic is Nightmare Moon's. Maybe Discord's, too. I guess you could say I'm... complicated."

Dan looked down at her, into her eyes. It was like staring into the void and watching it stare you back. He narrowed his own eyes. "Then what were you? Before all of... this... who were you?"

The cup shattered in her grip. She looked at him again and he recognized what was on her ravaged, monstrous expression. Underneath all the enigma, the mystery and the horror, he saw anger. "What do you want me to say?" she asked. Even her voice had changed; it was more feminine and dripped of a venomous sting. "What do you want me to tell you?"

"The truth, "Director"," Dan said firmly. "Tell me the truth." There was no magatama nearby and Dan had never seen a psyche-lock before. Despite this, the world around them seemed to fade into the background until there was nothing around them but blackness. And the Director stared back at Dan, unsmiling.

---

The Truth

There are dark and forgotten places in Equestria that few know of. Lost remnants of another age that only those who seek the darkest of knowledge ever visit. But I was not there alone. And although our alliance was one of uncertainty and fear, they came with me, too. Perhaps they were curious... or maybe they didn't trust me from the very beginning.

"This is the spot. This is where we will summon them back."

"Is this... are you sure this is wise?"

"This is what the book says, Lulu. This is what we have to do."

"But what if this is wrong? What if the book is wrong?"

"It can't be wrong, Tia. They wrote it."

"We've never tried to harness this type of magic before!"

"Luna's right! What if we can't control it?"

"The book, it's changing you! Can't you see that?"

"Enough, both of you. It's going to take all three of us to summon them back. Luna, Tia, get to your positions. We do this together like we agreed. We will get them back."

"But what if we're wrong?"

"Then they'll fix it. They'll fix it like they always do."

We knew what we had to do. Equestria needed its king and queen to come back, to bring us real harmony. We found a way to bring them back: summoning magic. We need it would take a lot... but it was worth any cost. We were willing to do anything to bring back our parents.

Or so I thought.

"Wait... wait, Tia, what are you doing?!"

"We're stopping this. We're stopping this right now."

"You're taking this too far! This isn't what they would've wanted!"

"Luna, no!!"

"Stop it! Stop it now!"

"We can't! We're so close, we can't!!"

"STOP IT NOW!!!"

"No, I can't, I, I can't, I just-"

"STOP!!"

"I CAN'T!!!"

"CLEO!!!!"

That name... it echoes through me still. All meaning of it, lost. Except for one: Betrayal.

They betrayed me. They betrayed all we worked for, all we strived for, all we fought for. At the last moment, they stripped me of my magic and drained me of my powers. I was struck down, destroyed, and left behind. I suffered... indignities. And fell into darkness.

---

"There must always be a Darth Traya, as they say. One who has been betrayed and will betray in turn," the Director said, still standing. "But if you want to know the truth, it's all around us. King Eternos, Queen Galaxina... the parents of Celestia, Luna and... me. They are out there still," she said, looking up into the sky. Her eyes may have been able to see the stars, maybe. But to Dan, it looked like she was just staring into the fog, seeing shapes when nothing was really there.

"They're searching for their own purpose, out there amongst the stars, galaxies and other worlds. Other Equestrias. But sometimes, they turn their eyes back to us," the Director explained. "Cleo... that was the name they gave me. I prefer the title "Director", though. It's their will, the will of magic I'm acting out. And all these forces around us, I'm just directing them. Guiding them to their... natural conclusion."

When she looked back down, Dan was gone.

"What? Dan?" She looked around but he was nowhere to be found. "Dan? Dan!!"

*Bullvv-flllsssshhhh*

That noise, it came from the building's west module. Setting the remains of her cup down, she sighed and entered the house.

Just as the Director walked in the room, the door to the bathroom swung open.

"Ahhhhh," Dan said, relieved. "Had to use the can. Hope you don't mind, D-bags." He slapped her on the shoulder as passed.

The Director looked puzzled. "What? What were you doing in there?"

"I left the door open for a reason there, chief. You're gonna wanna give that room about an hour or two."

The Director placed her hand on the door to close it. And that was when the smell hit her. "Oh... mai gawd. OHMAIGAWD," she fell to her knees, gasping for breath. "*cough* *cough* Haaaaaghhhugh, the smell! Oh sweet me!!!"

"Heheh, yeah, that's Mexican, for ya. And I just had two tacos and some of those nachos with the cheese fountain. Mmm, good stuff."

"I... I can't breathe..."

"Walk it off," Dan said, dragging the hapless mare as she writhed on the ground. "I share a bathroom with a bunch of ponies, a lawyer, a griffon and a dragon. You think this is bad, just wait until the morning after Leftovers Thursday or Friday Surprise." He propped her in the corner of the kitchen and fixed himself some more tea. "Nice place you got here."

Comments

[Terabyte West]

We've established Director's identity and motive, now we just need to execute a Level 3 X-Factor Turnabout combo on either Cleo or Vice's face and summon Morrigan Aensland so I can get some fuel for my shipfics.

[Barrobroadcaster]

7610976 Or did we?

[Razzy]

She's the t-1000!

Mexican gas attack!

[Booster Spice]

So naw we have lots more info on The Director, and an exploitable weakness.

Pinkie, we need a million chocolate chili bean cupcakes.

[ShogunWriter106]

Oh man! The old "gassy-bathroom-of-doom-in-the-Villian's-Face-Trick!" I haven't seen that one for some time!!

[Fire Flyer]

The Director is an alternate Lyra... in hindsight, I should've seen at least the Lyra part coming.

[Dustchu]

Wooooooooooooooooow... well, you said it man, I wasn't expecting that, holy balls.
... I am unsure of how to feel about this man, wow.

Although, it appears to be an alternate Lyra? Or something called Cleo? I am confuse... tbh

Awesome chapter dude, awesome chapter!

[Barrobroadcaster]

7612669 She told you twice: she's a lot of things. Because it might not come up for a while, I'll tell you- the Director uses the title of "Director" because it feels comfortable for her. After whatever it was happened to her, time passed, other things happened. She eventually found herself on Earth and became the CIA's chief operations director. Using that rank, she was able to find Dan.

There are different versions of the Director, which is why he/she keeps changing gender as well. There's who she is now and what she is now and also who she was then and what she was then. So that's four core things and the remaining two are... well, something Dan will be involved with.

So, in a way, we haven't actually revealed much about her. What she is now is a hideous amalgamation of powerful individuals both past and present. Who she is now mostly is Lyra and Bon-bon so twisted and corrupted that their very existence warps and taints all around it. She wants Equestria to change and wants King Eternos and Queen Galaxina, supposedly her own parents and those of Celestia and Luna, to return. To accomplish this, she has allied herself with Vice Grip and is helping him achieve his goals to destroy Earth and make a new Equestria under his rule.

In reality, the Director is planning on betraying Vice and destroying both Earth and Equestria simultaneously. Why she wants this exactly is and this is a big spoiler, so... she wants revenge on both her parents for leaving them behind.

As I said, she's a lot of things. You will not find out who she really is until the end of the season, the last two episodes. Fluffle Puff's secrets will be revealed at the same time.

[Dustchu]

7613438
Wheeeeeeeeeeeew man... okay, now I fully understand, and I shall await the next chapters to this glorious story to read more about the awesomeness that will come!
And hopefully see the Blast Sisters do some awesome stuff, heheh

Keep it up Barro!

[LadyLeomon]

I'm SO sorry for this delayed kudos! I am not worthy oh Dan-nificent one

Oh my Gawwwd this was buckin' hilarious!

The Paradise Estate? The Paradise Estate? Seriously?! So is Director 'Cleo' one of those Princess Ponies from the whole magic wand fiasco? Yup, I had the VHS of several of the OLD MLP series ... I am ashamed! Don't hate me Dan!

So Celestia and Luna are part of a Royal Triad? That is uber cool! I nearly had a conniption fit when I read the Director was Lyra!!! But then I regained my sanity and kept reading ... those darned stewardesses, can't trust any of them!

But that ending! Do not go in there! HAHAHAH!!!

So Director-Cleo isn't 'evil' she's just pushing the metaphorical fast forward button? Can't says I blame her, girl misses her parents and feels betrayed by her sisters, she was bound to go a little loopy. Just curious, is she the eldest, middle or youngest? Also, if Celestia and Luna are the Sun and the Moon, that what is Cleo? Just curious.

Awesome as always and see you next time ^_^

[Barrobroadcaster]

7617480 It's okay, my fellow Dan-sciple. The only rule is that the show must go on, as was proclaimed by Trixie in episode 2(so you see, there's a reason for just about everything.) Thank you as always for being here, your enthusiasm is inspirational in the extreme

Now, I'd like to emphasize that the Director is many things, as she herself has said. Imagine every negative part from every villain or even remotely antagonistic character rolled into one. It's somewhat like Nyx from Past Sins albeit on a much larger scale. Unlike that fic however, at one time the Director was an actual princess named Cleo. At this time, we're operating under the only slightly-used concept that Cleopatra was Tia and Lulu's older sister, before they became Celestia and Luna. She represents a harmony between the sun and moon but unfortunately, it's one that's been lost to time.

Right now in THIS incarnation, she is MOSTLY Lyra Heartstrings. The Lyra Dan is familiar with is an alternate version of Lyra, a reference to the times earlier in the brony fandom when the names of ponies weren't well-known and mistakes and confusion was common. The truth is that the Director is a character who has been corrupted by all these unexpressed desires, a crude amalgamation of every dream deferred. It's a stark contrast to Dan, who's resolute and upfront manner of dealing with conflict ultimately ensures that his dreams and the dreams of his friends see at least some form of expression, some form of life. While the Director is capable of mostly illusion and the further corruption of other dreams and the real world around her.

It goes back to that old poem- A Raisin in The Sun. The "sun" is Celestia, unbiased in her rule, she reigns over the just and unjust alike. The Director and her corruption are the raisin and the festering sore that runs respectively. And Dan... well, we know what he is

Oh and I'm SO happy you recognized it was the one and only Paradise Estate! Yes, the Director's home is the forgotten playset, the My Little Pony Paradise Estate. Unfortunately, the estate has seen better days as evidenced by its current condition and the fact it existsin Enchantria, the kingdom before Equestria. The Paradise Estate and its current state are a reference to the Arwing from Star Fox: Adventures, which shares the same description.

[LadyLeomon]

>>BarroBroadcaster Oh sweet Luna, thank you for the reply! These Dan-ventures have become my favourite action/comedy/horror/crossover/whatever-else-it-can-be-classed-as on FimFiction and brightens my day every time I either read a new chapter our re-read an old one (Derpy/Hearth's Warming/Day at the Spa/Dan vs Vice to name just a few). You keep finding new ways to create shock and awe, the only things I could possibly ask for would be for Dan/Chryssy to become an item and Mr Mumbles making it to Equestria (Dan's car optional). From the day I found your fic and for as long as it remains it will be an eternal favourite of mine

The way you described the Director reminds me of Apocalymon from Digimon Adventure, who described himself as being the embodiment of all Digimon who couldn't digivolve to survive and 'simply gave up'. And just like Sora I will agree that that thought is very sad. Poor Director/Cleo, I'll love you no matter what!

She is very much Dan's parallel, if you wronged Dan he will wrong you right back! However she is more elusive about her goals, saying that Dan can be too, he'll lie in wait and when you're least suspecting he'll fill the soup pot with dish soap hehe!

As I'm writing this I even remember I had a Paradise Estate play set ... I am getting old :p From a girly show in the 80s to a fandom that both genders can enjoy, it's just so cool! And fellow Bronies like you become awesome authors and let much less-skilled writers like me read and enjoy

Just thanks so much for this newest Dan-tastic plot reveal (and for letting Dan keep the Griffon, I have a feeling he'll provide many laughs in time) and for giving me my weekly Dan pick-me-up!

Awesome as always and see you next chapter

[Barrobroadcaster]

7617680 You'll always get a reply from me when I'm able. I wish there were more fans like you for everypony. No franchise would ever feel unwanted with someone supporting them This story and this author are incredibly lucky to have a fan like you, LadyLeomon