"Oh hey, look!" Dan said, looking through the periscope, "they have one of those soviet blimps from Command and Conquer: Red Alert!"
"Oh, yeah," Phoenix said, looking over his shoulder. "That's a Kirov, an armored bomber airship. It's a very iconic unit from the Red Alert series."
"And it's in range!" Dan smiled. "Let's greet the comrades," he said, and hit the button.
A giant blue bolt erupted from the ion cannon and struck the Kirov. The grinning Soviet dirigible was consumed in a shower of sparks and electricity, covering it from bow to stern. It exploded a moment later, popping like a balloon and showering tiny confetti-sized embers over Ponyvill which fizzled out before they hit the ground.
Satisfied, Dan clasped the periscope's handles up. "Okay, everyone's gotten at least two turns with the Fate-Worse-Than-Death Ray, so who goes next?"
"I think it's Fluffle's turn again," Twilight said. The fluffy mare bounced up and down excitedly, eager to vaporize more of the enemy.
"Is that right?" Dan asked, petting her on the head. "Who's ready to engage hostiles with maximum prejudice?"
"Thbbbt! Thbbbbtt!" Me! Me!
"Who's a good fluffy sentinel? Is it you? Who's a vigiwant fwuffy widdle defender?"
Fluffle hopped enthusiastically. "Thpp-thpp! Thpp-thpp!" I am! I am!
"That's right, you are!" Dan grinned, rubbing her head playfully as he got up and she grabbed the controls. Her fluff covered the entire console station. "All right, Ima go make a sandwich while you guys are taking care of the rest of the fleet."
"When we're done, we should contact Mayor Mare to see about removing the debris from the town," Twilight said. "Not to mention all the stuff the griffons stole. It looks like Blueblood's buildings are the perfect lightning rods for crashing airships, though. His structures have mitigated almost all the damage the town would've taken."
Spike rolled his eyes. "I guess Blueblood actually did something right for a change."
"Yeah," Chrys agreed, trading places with Fluffle Puff to shoot down another aircraft. "Have to say, his buildings look a lot better now that they're all flaming piles of wreckage and debris. Ole Bloomers couldn't have built them better."
Phoenix rubbed his chin, remembering. "Actually, he didn't. His Magic Gear built most of the buildings- he just decided what to use them for."
"So, we can't even give him credit for them being on fire?"
The lawyer shook his head. "We can't. But, because all the town's buildings are insured by the Mayor's office, he could make the town pay for their damages."
Chrys' face went blank. "He… he could make us pay for his insurance?"
Phoenix nodded solemnly. (Thankfully, the library is considered public property, so there's no way he could sue us for the damages even if it is Dan's gun that's shooting down all the airships.) A thought entered his head. "Dan did remember to update our property insurance policy when we modified library… didn't he?"
They all stared blankly at him. "I'm sorry I asked."
Meanwhile, Dan was busy making a sandwich in the kitchen. The BLTPB&J- (hay)bacon, lettuce, tomato, peanut butter and jelly on toasted rye. Truly, it was the epitome of all acronym-based sandwiches. The last time he'd had such a sandwich was when he had been hunting for Derpy in Cloudsdale. He had sliced the sandwich vertically into two halves- the definitive bistro-style slice. Slicing a sandwich diagonally is called the homestyle-slice(otherwise known as the "homeslice") while halving it horizontally is the travel slice and is more efficient for packing into lunch boxes, plastic bags and/or tupperware containers.
As Dan was enjoying his sandwich, the doorbell rang. He took the sandwich with him as he walked to the front of the house and opened the door.
A scientist in a lab coat and glasses stood in front of the door, smiling at him. He had blonde hair slicked back over his head and strangely, a strand of bluish hair that came up from just above his left eye and swirled around his entire head like the ring of a planet. He gave Dan a polite nod.
Dan stared quizzically at the other human, mid-bite into his sandwich for a moment. He actually thought it could be Vice Grip in human form for a moment but the stranger's smile seemed genuine and decidedly not-sinister. So, Dan simply asked, "Who the hell are you?"
"Ah yes, Dan, is it?"
"That's my name. What the hell is your name?"
"My name is Colress," the man introduced himself.
Before he could continue, Dan asked, "And you need to check out a library book?"
"Not at the moment," Colress said. He pulled out a clipboard and pen. "I'm curious about your defense of Ponyville and I'm wondering if it's your belief in your ideals or your pursuit of the truth that is driving you towards success. Would you say your primary motivation is derived more from your belief in what is true or your desire to prove your beliefs?"
Dan blinked. "The sign says 'no solicitors'!" He slammed the door in Colress' face.
Behind the door, Colress' smile was unbroken. He continued making notes on his clipboard. "Fascinating…" he muttered. He raised his hand to ring the door again when suddenly the doormat under his feet launched him into the sky until he was but a twinkle in the distance. The twinkle then went "ding!"
"Looks like that moron's blasting off again," Dan said, closing the terminal at the side of the door. He finished his sandwich and made his way back to the control center.
Back in the control center, Blast Fuse and Blast Powder were sharing the control center, ever in-sync as sisters. They fired a blast at a cluster of ships surrounding a larger cruiser. The smaller airships surged with ion wash and became polarized. They were magnetically drawn to the larger vessel which unwittingly collected them like sandbags on a blimp. The larger vessel tried to escape while progressively being pulled down by the other vessels until they all finally crashed into a billboard above Blueblood Dome, which then instantaneously became Blueblood Stadium and then just another pile of flaming rubble.
"Six in a row!" Fuse announced happily.
"That's the high score!"
"Who wants to try and beat it?"
"Phoenix?" they both looked at the lawyer. "You wanna play with us~"
The lawyer smiled bashfully. "I uh, I think I'll skip my next turn. You guys have fun."
"Awww… okay!"
"Shiny? Cady? You guys wanna go double-or-nothing?"
The married couple shook their heads. "We're more of shield specialists, not artillery."
Twilight shrugged. "We're actually running out of ships. I would've thought the griffons would retreat by now."
"Let 'em stay," Dan said, entering. "We can always use more fried chicken."
"And how exactly are you going to retrieve them all?" Chrys asked, skeptical. More so, she was a bit miffed about losing the last shooting match to Blast Fuse and Blast Powder before Dan arrived.
Dan pointed at the view screen on the wall. "We have the dog from Duck Hunt."
They all turned to see an eight-bit hound holding up an 8-bit griffin by the legs.
"That's actually the dog from Duck Hunt," Chrys said. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Either way, it's my turn again!!" Dan announced, taking the controls. The ion cannon unleashed another blast. The skies were getting clearer with every shot.
Why can't I fav this twice?
Dan sucks. I mean every thing about this sucks. Just my OP. So I did not vote it down or up.
The Griffons think the periscope controls bad, just wait till they realise Dan can use a Superscope with updated decode, and remote target them from anywhere else he chooses.
Have you seen how large the optics are on a Superscope?
And whats better than One Superscope? Two Superscope.
Ahh, so thats where my under threshold welcome mat antisolicitor tank spring ejector got to.
WAH Buffet.
7196066 Oh, it's all right. I'm just happy you read and enjoyed the story- and so does Dan and the others
In this chapter, we got to see some vintage video game references, we learned a little bit about proper sandwich slicing and Dan and company taught us all the value of sharing(firepower).
Next time, we learn the value of chivalry(during combat), Dan and the gang teach us the proper angle at which to prop open a door with a doorstop and then we sing some merry pirate tunes with Gust Grasp and his crew!
Also, explosions. Lots and lots of explosions.
7196073 Awww but the mirror universe is fun! And mirror-y. It's okay. Just happy you're enjoying the story. You read it how you want to!
7196105 Thanks for giving it a chance. You have a good one /)
7196178 So the airfleet is a diversion...interesting...
Also...Gen V reference...yay...
7196205 But I did not. ?
7196210 Nothing is a diversion. The pirate fleet is very much pillaging the town and if Dan and friends don't shoot the turkeys down, they're going to steal everything in Ponyville. Dan and Twilight even stopped a pair of griffons who almost got away with the Elements of Harmony. Fortunately, Dan found buckets to stuff the chickens in so we're good. But I try to add a little fun outside of the plot to each chapter so it's more cartoony that way.
I'm hoping people laugh, learn and think a little bit about things and ultimately are happy they might have someone like Dan in their lives. Or that they might be one. I hope people enjoy the story and believe in their hearts that people like Dan have a place in our world and that even the most out-of-place things can make a positive difference.
7196215 You mean you didn't read it? You just don't like Dan or something?
7196226 I have watched the yt dans
Heeheehee, awesome chapter once more man, good show!
BP and BF kicking ass, as always~
I was going to make a joke about the duck hunt reference, but then I got to the end of the chapter and saw the add for sliced turkey... By the time I found my other lung I'd forgotten what I was thinking of, so... I'll just say good job.
~Dollars.
I can only imagine how Nick knows what Command and Conquer is. My first guess would be Dan, then Maya, then Sal Manella, then Gumshoe, then Morrigan Aensland, and lastly, Iris or Dahlia.
...
One of these~ is not like the otheeer~...
I... Uh... Wow...
7196414 Phoenix sort of has a connection to the video game world through the fact that he's from a DS game. He's "hung out" with various characters throughout the multiverse.
7196461
7196352
7196614
To be clear, Dog from Duck Hunt is in the quasi-canon category along with the fourth wall breaks. To put that into perspective, Gary Busey is in the semi-canon category along with the Star Wars and Star Fox references. Meaning, they can be removed, adjusted or changed to something else entirely if you have a problem with it. There are a few more ingrained references such as the M/Y-Wing and the Ion cannon that are core canon but they're MLP versions of their respective counterparts.
Other things have been taken from other franchises because sometimes, I don't feel the need to create something entirely new every time. Where's the fun in excluding something awesome just because you didn't make it?
So… is Dog from Duck Hunt actually there? Actually, no; he's just a program that Dan installed in the security system's display to give it more of an arcade-style interface. The dog's just part of the system. The WOPR however is very much a part of the treehouse and Joshua plays chess and Global Thermonuclear War with Spike on Tuesdays when Spike works on his sculpting and other Rarity-related art projects. Spike has his own subplot, it's just more subtle than the others. We're planning on elaborating on it in the Hearths and Hooves Day Special, sometime between the season finale and now.
Next episode is Daring Do, episode 15 is the supermarket and 16 is Discord.
7196281 They very much enjoy kicking ass, being funny and they very much want a boyfriend. Or boyfriends as would be the case.
7196642
Hahahaha, I'm so happy they get to kick ass~
As for the boyfriend thing... I'll gladly fill both roles
This is too easy. The Griffons aren't fighting back, evading, retreating. They're literally just acting like sitting ducks.
7196617 So like how frekkin' Zero appears in Onimusha Blade Warriors, the sheer insanity that is Project X Zone 2, and other games of the sort? Doesn't explain how Dan is so knowledgeable...
7196218 How am I to laugh if they're responding to a raid caused by one of them (Blueblood) first hiring the griffons and then betraying and indirectly causing the death of many of them, a raid that consists only of property damage and theft, by killing griffons off by the hundreds? If anything, the last few chapters made my enjoyment of the story plummet like a lead block.
It's just a bizarre double standard, the true bad guys keep surviving, yet griffons here are just looked off happily. Even Twilight, who's always advocating diplomatic solutions, this time didn't try at all and instead joined the others in happy murder spree time. She even was stopping Dan from harming Blueblood, but now she's a OK with this.
For Springer's happy band of racist and supremacist murderers, you described then surviving, so unless we get the same for griffons, it seems that they're somehow more deserving of a agonising death (burned alive or crushed alive). And that really kills any enjoyment I was having reading this story.
And why aren't they fighting back? They know it's the library. Just ask a shop at it and crush it.
Awww! Who engaged those nasty ol' Griffons with maximum prejudice? Good girl Fluffle, very good girl
Uh wait, BlueBlood wouldn't actually ... nevermind, I already know the answer to that Oh that darn dog irritated me to Hellsing and back in those long forgotten days of Duck Hunt ... but this time it's the enemy so good laughing dog!
Send 'em blasting off to meet Colress past the background scenery Dan ^_^
7197720 Well, to be fair, the only reason the griffons aren't hurting anypony is because Derpy and Rogue Group evacuated the town already. And the griffons did attack Ponyville first and fully intended to betray Blueblood even before he betrayed them. They're past the point of negotiation and the ion cannon is really the only thing that has the potential to make the griffons leave.
The ion cannon itself is a non-lethal weapon so despite all the destruction, it's still likely the griffons survived. They're stealing from the whole town- if they tried to stop them to get them to leave, it'd most likely get them shot. The My Face When was moving in to blow up the library after all.
Blueblood is an asshole that tried to play hero and failed miserably. Now, the others are just trying to clean up the mess. The episode isn't over yet, though. Still a few twists left.
7197981 I doubt they'd do a lot of harm even if there was no evacuation, if you kill someone, you can't steal from them later.
Still, they were betrayed first and their first attack was at an express order of the ruler of the country they attacked. You can't really condemn someone for something they were thinking of doing. Unless it's Minority Report.
Still dunno why they aren't fighting back.
At least they did move a few ships loaded with loot away beforehand, so they'll get something out of it.
Well, alright, but so far the descriptions included saying that the first seven galleons went down with everyone onboard and there was no mention of survivors. Likewise, in this battle we get spectacular explosions and mention of griffins being fried, yet again no mention of survivors. Just hit me as a stark contrast with the fights with the Enclave, who actually killed others numerous times, tried to directly kill the heroes and are driven by racism/views of supremacy, while griffons are just greedy and don't focus on killing at all. And yet the Springer's team was explicitly made to survive the ordeal.
Are we going to get any griffons that are not one note greedy pirate bastards?
7198027 Well, once again, it's an E rated story so technically there can't be any death at all. Shifty isn't even dead- actually, he was slated to be the antagonist of the Halloween special until we decided to switch to Yes Man.
The only one who is probably dead is Tirek who was killed by Lightning in a blog post. But, if any death upsets you, it's only the implication of death that's there, not actual death. Yeah, the griffons are being fried and yes the ships went down with all hands aboard but they're going to be all right. They're going to be without feathers and probably won't want to be around anything electrical for a while but they'll be fine.
Fried means electrified, as in, they're getting zapped like Team Rocket in Pokemon. As for your other question, Ozzy is a griffon and he's not a pirate. He was last seen in the Christmas episode, too so he's still around.
I don't like killing off characters. It's such a waste, really but the griffons and the Enclave are crony factions. It means they have to go up against Dan and company and get their butts kicked really, really hard. That's one of the reasons Springer's name is Springer- because she keeps bouncing back.
7198062 Ah, alright then, now that it's clear. Sorry for harping on that, griffons are my favourite mythological creatures and they're very often used on this site as the go to bad guys to kill en masse, so I kind of developed a sore spot for it.
Oooooh, I'm happy that Shifty is alive. They bothered me a bit.
Yeah, beating up is fine if they deserve it (though Blueblood deserves it too), I just dislike character deaths as well, maybe except for irredeemable monsters that wasted numerous chances.
Totally forgot about Ozzy, geez. Thanks for reminding me. He needs to appear again.
Well, now that you explained it, I feel much better. Sorry about ranting about it, I've just seen to many stories were griffons are used as cannon fodder and I tend to get very protective about stuff I like in fiction. Enjoyment of this story back to maximum now.
Still wondering if the Golden Baron is Gilda.
PS. Sorry again.
7198106 Oh, it's fine, you don't have to apologize. You did seem to have a bit of fondness towards the griffons but it's understandable. I think you'll like the next part of the episode.
7198659 They did. And they want him baaaaaaad.
Aww, I was hoping he'd say to prove his beliefs. Zekrom by Dan's side would have been awesome. But, between Vice and Dan, Zekrom would've been with Vice, wouldn't he?
Zekrom rules.
7199824 Aww no fair, you can't make me choose! Reshiram has gorgeous flowing fur and feathers (my favourite kind of wings) but Zekrom is the picture perfect example of 'I will mess you up' bad-assery! Anyway I got Black and White so I wouldn't have to choose ^_^
P.S I'm Team Kyurem all the way anyways
P.P.S You're right though, of the pair I think Zekrom would suit Dan better ... but Kyurem would match his cold fury even better haha >:D