Broke: Famous Heinous
Fluffle Puff enjoyed being petted. It made her feel glamorous, loved, provided food for herself and her family. And it allowed someone else to clean and brush her fluff, which was important. Still, she had an another reason for hopping on the couch and allowing Dan to pet her, and she pulled it out of her fluff to let him see it.
"What's this, girl?" Dan asked. It was a piece of paper, a hoof-drawn picture of a castle on a map. It was clear immediately Fluffle had drawn it herself. "Awww, did you draw this all by yourself? Well, there's a nice spot on the fridge for it."
"Thmmm-thmm," Fluffle shook her head. She snatched the paper away, took a step back from Dan and held it up with her mouth.
"Okay, that's nice, sweetheart- daddy's watching t.v. now." He put his feet up on her, using his fluffy psuedo-daughter as an ottoman.
"Thppth." Fluffle was not amused at this moment. While she did enjoy being used as a piece of cuddly furniture at times, she didn't enjoy being ignored. It was just Dan being Dan, however, this was a bit more of an important issue. She still needed to confirm a few things, find exactly where the Enchanted Valley was, but it could wait. She tucked the paper back into her fluff and nestled under Dan's ankles.
What would they do when they learned the truth? Would their family be torn apart? Would Chrys, Dan and Twilight all resent each other when this was over? Would they leave this place, the home they had all built? That she had built... Fluffle Puff was old, far older than she appeared. The wisdom of lifetimes and universes, time and space near unfathomable had taught her much. Few could comprehend such wisdom. Yet, the things they cherished remained, even as time and tide stretched on to infinity and further. There was a place for good, a time for fun, a way for innocence and love and life to continue. And there was hope.
But now, the infinite was not stretching out before them. It was coming to meet them.
She looked up at Fuzzle, who was on the ceiling teaching their offspring to hang loose. He looked down at her, seeming to know what she was thinking. Nothing strange about that; how couldn't he know what she was thinking? It would've been surprising if he didn't.
"Hey Dan," Phoenix said. He climbed around the armchair from the back to take a seat in it. "How's it going? Whatcha watching?"
"Eh, nothing's on but cartoons right now."
"Cool, cool. Everybody likes those, right?"
"Eeeaaaahhhhnnnng," Dan made some sort of... incomprehensible noise as an answer. So Phoenix continued. He was good at communicating, usual and knew this was a good time to be direct.
"You're really not worried at all about this financial crisis the kingdom's in?"
Dan brushed his nose. "Not at all, Nicky. We're both Americans, right?"
"Well-"
"And America's been in debt for like... forever, right?"
Phoenix leaned forward. "Actually, the U.S national debt is a bit of a complex subject. The national debt was originally created in the late 1700s following the nation's founding in order to help the government raise money to fund itself and pay for things. This created the need for taxation, and since then-"
Dan waved down Phoenix's explanation. "I know about the national debt, Nicky. There was actually a time when it was completely paid off under Andrew Jackson. That's why old hickory's on the twenty."
"...Right, well, Equestria's debt situation might not be the same as the United States' debt." (Although I wouldn't be surprised if they owed money to the Equestrian-equivalent of China.)
Dan leaned back. "Well, either way, it's not like it's a major problem today, right? Ole sun bleach and moon horse will be back in a few days and we'll deal with it then."
"Well, that's... a very calm and rational response to the situation."
"If I'm famous for one thing, it's definitely my calm demeanor, level-head and rationality."
Phoenix grinned. "Famous because you use it so rarely?"
Dan nodded. "Never waste the good stuff."
Chrys picked that opportunity to come in. "Hey dude bro-meisters. What's shiggidy-shaking?"
(Eventually, one of us will stop being stupid and awkward but I'm not sure who it's going to be.)
"Watching cartoons. You wanna watch something?"
"No thanks," Chrys said. She walked all the way around the couch, climbed up on it and rested her forelegs and chest on Dan's lap, very girl-friendly. Well, girl-friendly for a bug horse, anyway. She watched cartoons, happy to be with her Dan.
Twilight and Spike walked in to join them. "Need help sorting the stuff from the grocery store."
"I'll get it."
"Yep. Coming."
Dan turned off the t.v and they all got up to help store stuff from the store. Took roughly ten minutes, and they all helped, even Fluffle and Fuzzle. The reward for the two fluffy ponies were hams that were thrown at them when they did a good job. It was a simple chore, but one they did together happily, peacefully. There was something to be said about that.
"Well, that's done. Anyone want to come with me to see General Zeal?"
"Oh yeah!" Dan slammed the closet door. "He's still at Zecora's hut! Let's go bother him!" With that, Dan jumped up off the couch again and bolted out the door.
"We had a nice, peaceful moment. It didn't last long, but we had one," Phoenix remarked.
Dan stuck his head back through the front door and yelled, "Come on, everybody! Let's get going before he decides to leave! FREE LAND!! And don't forget to arm the security system!" Door slammed again.
Twilight looked around. "So, who wants to arm the security system?"
"Not it!"
"Not it!"
"Not it!
"Thbb-thpp!"
"Not i-darn," Phoenix said. He was a split-second late. "Alright, you guys head out and I'll get it."
They departed quickly, leaving Phoenix alone in the library. Fluffle and Fuzzle retreated back into the basement to care for their young. There were still many that had not hatched yet.
Error. Network connection not found. Error code: 1317
(Huh. That's strange.) Phoenix's brow furrowed. It wasn't hard to see what the problem was, though; there was no wireless signal. The security system used the library's own wi-fi signal to link to the weapons array. It allowed for faster access and smoother control, but it also relied on the library's network connection. If it was out, the security system had to be set to manual.
Phoenix set the security system to manual. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with their connection; there just wasn't a network signal being broadcast. Strange indeed. Phoenix turned on the t.v momentarily to confirm what he expected- there was no signal.
(Uh oh.)
He ran outside to join the others. He discovered he wouldn't have to run to catch up with them; they were still standing on the lawn.
"What's up?" he asked. But they didn't answer. They didn't have to.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders, or rather, the Cutie Mark Ghostbusters rode by on their scooters. They didn't say anything, in fact, Chrys and Twilight were a bit confused, but it was clear Dan was watching them as they went by. Off on another ghost-busting assignment. Actually, they were doing a follow-up at the dam to scan for any residual psycho-kinetic energy and sweep for any possible semi-plasmatic vapor-based apparitions but, Dan and others didn't know that. To them, specifically to him, they were off doing something he thought was fun.
"You really wanna be a ghostbuster that badly, huh?"
"No," Dan answered Chrys. Then quickly followed up with, "Yes... I don't know!" He spun on his heels, fuming, huffing.
"We've met a lot of cool people too, Dan," Spike reminded him. "And I'm sure we could meet the Ghostbusters and Spider-man if you really wanted to."
"It's the principle," Dan grumbled.
"The principle of what?" Twilight asked. "We've met tons of famous people from alternate dimensions."
"And a lot of those people I ALREADY KNEW! YOU got to meet them. I know Steve from years ago," Dan exclaimed. "The Avengers... Starfleet... don't get me started with those space-nerds. They're dorks, all of them, which makes it not surprising that they're here. The Ghostbusters, Spider-man, Batman, those are folks that don't let nonsense get in the way. THAT's the kind of member we need on our team."
Phoenix folded his arms. (And I'm sure meeting a famous lawyer isn't exactly high markings either.) "Okay, Dan. Who is someone famous you'd like to meet?"
"Hmmm," he tapped his chin.
"Really? You have to think about this?"
"It's not something I've been asked before. And enough of this for now- we already have someone to meet. General Zeal, let's go."
They followed Dan to Everfree Forest.
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Man, I can't wait to see how long season two is. Gonna be crazy.
Uh oh, that is a very nast critical point of failiure to have in any security system, especially if you dont have Bruce Willis at the cocktail party.
A new chapfer means it’s ~Sunday~
now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*
Nawww Fluffle wants some attention ... GIVE HER ALL THE LOVE AND SNUGGLEZ RIGHT NOW! Oh, AFTER listening to her important (adorable) thing!
Now for my Favourite Quotes:
I’m not American, but I just found this hilarious, because it applies to my country too!
Thanks for another Dab-tastic chapter and I’ll eagerly await the next!
Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan
^_^
10786815
Thinking about doing Season 0 first. It's only 12 episodes long, prequel season. More 'traditional' in tone, though.
10787786
You madman.
10787796
If you hadn't noticed, there's also a MISSING episode in the list. The Lost Episode- Dan Vs. The Equestria Games. And a feature-length film has been covertly teased in a way that's yet to be revealed. There are secrets everywhere in this story.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Poor Dan, he ONLY has his own space fleet and uppity superheroes.
It's for the best, no-nonsense types tend to butt heads with Dan from what we've seen.
That seems like a glaring flaw in the security system.