Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Resort: Who mayors the mayor?

"You!"

"Yes?" the mayor raised an eyebrow, looking expectant and irritated.

"You," Dan said again. But he stopped, hunched over, finger pointing accusingly. How would he word this? What proof did he have? "You... took down the town's statues of me!"

Phoenix stepped in before Dan or the Mayor could escalate things. "Mayor, were there riots while Dan and I were gone?"

"Yes?" She said again, a questioning answer. "There have been multiple riots. To which are you referring?"

"There have been riots?" Twilight asked, hovering over. Her voice was genuine concern. "Mayor, why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I-"

"And why did you take down the me statues?!"

"Yeah, why did you take down the statues of Dan?"

"There were statues of Dan?" Chys asked, rising out of the water on top of the Fluffle. The fluffy pony sponged her way out of the water along with some of the foodimals. A sea pony was stuck to her side until Chrys pried her off.

The mayor closed her eyes, sighed, then opened them. "I had to take down those statues."

"Ah-HA!" Dan declared. "So, you admit it! You admit the ponies love me and YOU have been trying to suppress their affection!"

She sighed again.

"Dan, she didn't admit to anything yet," Phoenix said. "She's only confirmed that there have been riots, but other than that, we don't know if-"

"He's right." Gasps. Twilight, Phoenix, Chrys, their heads whipped to Mayor Mare.

Dan put his hands on his hips. "So, I say again, Ah-HA. You HAVE been trying to subvert my image." He beamed, as if he just made some amazing discovery. It reminded Phoenix of the way he looked sometimes, usually just before his Psyche-Gauge exploded. Or, the few times he was actually right in an accusation.

And Mayor Mare just looked back at him. She was an older mare, not quite as old as Granny Smith but up there in years. Although, Chrys was far older than all of them and that didn't affect her. Fluffle Puff was actually the oldest of them all, but none of them knew that. Age was just a number and usually a more confusing than helpful one.

They all looked at the mayor for an explanation. She just looked back at Dan, the only one she really needed to explain herself to. "You haven't made things easy, Dan. I think that fact speaks plainly. You've done some great things for us, and we all appreciate what you've done."

"BUT..." Dan said expectantly.

But the mayor continued. "You have saved us. All of you have. When the princesses vanished, you all rescued the kingdom in its hour of need. Everypony in town is very grateful, including me. We're in your debt."

"But..." Phoenix now added.

And still, the mayor did not take the easy way out. "We needed you. We still need you to keep being you and keep doing what you do."

"But," now Twilight was doing it.

"But," Chrys added.

"Thpppth." Which meant, Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttt.

"But," the Mayor finally said, "there's only so much you can do."

Dan's eyes popped open. "Wait a minute. You're saying I don't do enough? I'm not around enough?"

Phoenix stepped forward, shaking his head. "Let me get this straight. He makes your job harder, he destroyed half the town, everypony thinks he's a hero as opposed to you... and you're saying he should do MORE?"

"Yeah, even I'm surprised at that," Chrys said. "I mean, if Dan did any more, there problem wouldn't even be a Ponyville any more."

"Hey! That's not true," Dan yelled. "The library would be fine!" He pointed at Golden Oaks.

"Because you destroyed that already," Chrys pointed out.

"No, that was Vinyl Scratch!"

"I heard my name!"

"Zip it before you lose another store roof!" Dan shouted.

"I know you don't mean that, but I'll let you do your thing."

Mayor Mare approached Dan. "I'm saying you're only one person. I honestly think that's a problem Equestria has had on the whole," her eyes looked to Twilight, Phoenix and the others. "We've had the princesses for... well, since we began. This is the first time we've really had to deal without them. You rose up, against all odds to fill the gap and be what we needed you to be. But there are some things you will never be able to do for us. There are some things we need to do on our own."

"I GET that. But that DOESN'T mean I don't deserve recognition for all the awesome things I've done! And we've done. Together," he said, drawing stares from those around him. "Mostly me. But with help from everybody else."

"Modesty's not really his strong suit, is it?"

"You shut up, Redfield."

"And it can't just be you," the mayor said, grabbing his hand and turning him toward her. "Hero worship and praising a replacement for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will not fix our problems. We need all of us to rise. I don't have the power to summon heroes from Earth, so I summoned others," she said, turning to the ponies around her.

Twilight nodded, understanding. "You used your own magic. To bring those together when Ponyville needed them the most. Trixie, Blueblood, Aegis, even the Flim Flam Brothers."

"Actually, the Flim Flam Brothers just showed up on their own," the Mayor admitted. The two brothers waved their hooves above the sea of background ponies. They were selling tickets to see the imprisoned sea ponies, not that there was a charge for seeing them. Fortunately, the author's friend Michael Hay wasn't around, or he probably would've bought a whole roll.

"Can I have ten tickets, please? I might want to come back a few times." Squee. Well, there went that.

"So, you were trying to prevent ponies from looking up to Dan like they did the princesses," Twilight said. "After all that's happened, that does make sense. I honestly kind of feel responsible... even though I shouldn't," she admitted. Chrys comforted her. "I still kind of feel like a junior princess. Does that make sense?"

"No," Dan said flatly. He smiled at Twilight, "But we love you just the same, Twilight." She smiled back at him, her eyes sparkling.

"Ponies still look up to you, Dan. I didn't change that," the Mayor said. "But I did try to encourage them to not necessarily emulate you... and to be themselves. Use their own talents and strengths to help Ponyville. And they did."

Dan nodded, understanding. "I... appreciate that, Mayor. I always said I'm not a role model, but... I guess I kinda, partly, still wanted to be. A little. And another thing!" he yelled, pointing at her again. "Why did you take down those statues?! They were awesome, they were... historically inaccurate but symbolically significant! AND THEY WERE OF ME!!!"

"The gold used to make them, that Blueblood used to make his gaudy buildings, was actually from the Canterlot treasury. We had to put it back or the kingdom would've gone bankrupt," Mayor Mare said.

"Oh." That was a bit surprising to all of them, though it probably shouldn't have been.

Dan was left feeling a little silly, having suspected the Mayor of treason. So much so, he was tempted to blame Phoenix for making the suggestion in the first place. But he probably would've come to the same conclusion, so he decided not to blame his best friend.

"I... kinda feel silly," Phoenix said. "I guess sometimes the best intentions really ARE the best intentions. Thanks, Mayor."

She grabbed both the humans' hands. "Just because someone doesn't endorse EVERYTHING you do, doesn't mean they don't support you. It's hard to understand, sometimes, but a leader isn't always what a community needs. At times, they need to believe in themselves, be their own leaders. They need to believe in themselves, Dan."

Maybe there was a problem with Equestria and ponies. The loyalty and togetherness, the sense of love and family, a lot of the things Dan liked about Equestria was tied to the fact that the ponies believed in the princesses. Without them, things had fallen apart like a beautiful house of cards. Things that unite many people and ponies are fragile and rarely last long. Underneath that was the potential for everything Dan despised about his own species... and himself.

Dan had seen that, faced that on an individual level. The Mayor had faced it on a societal level. Ponies scrambled to fill the gap left by Celestia and Luna with anything, including Dan. But it wouldn't be doing them any favors, Dan now understood. More than anything else, they needed themselves. They needed independence.

Or maybe they didn't. No, there was still something off about this. Things still didn't add up. Dan didn't know much... but he knew that if she genuinely didn't want ponies to revere him, she wouldn't be manipulating them. His eyes narrowed.

And Phoenix sensed it, too. "I... understand, Mayor. I just have one last question," the lawyer said, turning to her slowly. "If all this is true... why didn't you tell us?"

The Mayor looked at him and without hesitation said, "A lot's been happening, you understand. If you want me to inform you of everything that goes on from now on, I can certainly do that," she said, smiling. And to everyone else, it looked like she was being perfectly honest. She hadn't quivered, hadn't flinched, hadn't done anything. But Phoenix Wright saw something different when he looked at her.

The world became dark, pitch black in an instant. All that was left in Phoenix Wright's vision was Mayor Mare, smiling at him innocently. And then the chains blocked his path to her, locked boxes appearing in midair over them. The truth behind them.

(Oh, this is just PERFECT. The MAYOR is hiding stuff from us now, that's just great. When did this even start? How much does she know? Gonna have to tell Dan about this... What reason does she have to lie? And why is she lying... so well?)

"Is everything okay, Mr. Wright?"

"Um, yes." (Better not press this one before I get something to try and pick those locks with. Maybe this does have something to do with the sea ponies.) "I understand why you kept the information from us." (Because you're lying.) "Thank you for telling me."

Dan stepped forward. "Indubitably, mayor. Yes, of course we want everypony to be able to fend for themselves. And as I said, I know I'm not the best role model. So you know what, I'm gonna do you a favor."

"Oh?" Mayor Mare asked. Her eyes went wide in surprise. "What is this favor, if I may ask?"

Dan smiled. "To thank you personally, Mayor, and to show you just how much I trust you, we're going on vacation!"

"Vacation?"

"Vacation?!" Twilight and Phoenix both asked in surprise and outright shock respectively. Phoenix tended to get shocked easily, however- a side effect of being anime. "This is- um, well, a bit abrupt, don't you think?"

"The best things are!" Dan proclaimed. "We'll leave you in charge of the town while we're gone, okay, Mayor?"

She smiled. "Thank you," she said, almost hesitantly. "I'm most grateful for your vote of confidence, Captain Dan," she said, making it as official as possible. Her tone and particular word usage made it clear she was using Dan's approval as an endorsement. Like a real politician, nothing wasted. "And yours and the princesses' approval is most reassuring in these trying times. Ponyville is never ungrateful for the support," she bowed.

Dan spun around. "Then it's settled! Come along, Nicky, Twilight, everybody, let us go plan our epic and relaxing getaway far away from Ponyville!"

"Far... away? How far are we talking?" Twilight asked.

Dan grabbed her by the ear. "Far enough that we won't worry about that question! C'mon, Twilight."

"Ow, ow, that's attached to me, gentle."

Dan marched back to the library in a heavily exaggerated fashion. He didn't drop the charade until everyone was back inside and the door was closed behind them. He then frowned, braced in front of the door and declared, "She's full of squee."

"The Mayor IS the traitor," Twilight said, having gathered everything. "I mean, it doesn't matter who ponies look up to. They're not going to go nuts and start burning things down or turn on each other without leadership."

"Maybe the Mayor doesn't think that way," Phoenix said, rubbing his chin. "She might believe that without guidance, things will descend into anarchy. And she might be scared that if it's anyone but her or the princesses, that it might lead Equestria towards destruction." (Blueblood taking over probably didn't help things.)

"Whatever her reasoning, lying and conniving her way with literally EVERYPONY isn't the way to do it," Dan said. "Who even votes for her, anyway?"

"Not really anypony since they fired Term Limits."

"Wait, how did they fire term limits?"

"Term Limits was the deputy mayor," Twilight explained. "But she messed up the Summer Sun Celebration one year and the Mayor fired her because of it. Ever since then, there haven't really been any elections."

Dan and Phoenix both looked absolutely dumbfounded at the purple pony. "Because a pony named Term Limits was fired... there are no term limits now. How does this make sense in ANY universe?" Dan demanded.

Twilight shrugged. "Term Limits organized the elections. With her gone, nopony really wanted to go through with it so they just... kept letting Mayor Mare be mayor." At some point as she said it, Twilight herself realized how silly that was. Her expression went from contemplative, to puzzled, to 'how did this even happen' and finally to disappointment. In light of that, she changed the subject. "So um, what are we going to do about the Mayor?"

Dan shrugged. "We're going to do exactly what I said. We're goin' on vacation."

"What about the sea ponies?" Phoenix asked.

"I have Chrys and Cap talking to the sea ponies with Khan's communicator right now. I bet the Mayor was expecting ME to do the interrogating," Dan said, chuckling. "This'll throw her off. Once they get back, we'll find out where to take our 'vacation' and find the rest of the sea ponies."

Spike shook his head. "I almost don't believe it. You really do think of everything, don't you, Dan?"

Dan nodded and patted him on the back. "Somebody has to around here, don't they?"

"Question," Twilight raised her hoof, "if we don't trust Mayor Mare, who is really going to stay behind to keep an eye on Ponyville?"

"Ahhh..." Dan opened his mouth, but that was all that came out for a moment. "That I had not thought about."

Author's Note:

Sorry for the weird off-handed development in this one. Including all these characters together is a major challenge, but one I do my best at. As such, more explanations about the sea ponies will be detailed in a following chapter but I like to have all the Dan chapters, the chapters Dan is directly in, updated on Saturday and off chapters that don't feature Dan as extras.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

I thought Dan was going to send Mayor Mare there off on a one way all expenses vacation trip.

[Barrobroadcaster]

8741801
He came pretty close. And that's a pretty good joke following the subject line, I'll have to use that with thanks to you. Good to see you my friend, Mr. Booster. Happy as always you enjoyed the newest chapter. Dan appreciates it, too, but he wouldn't say that if he wasn't forced.

[JakeAndDollars]

Gets all the way to the last line of the chapter, reads it, ...

Daaannn!!

~Dollars.

[Dustchu]

Vacation time?
Come on grab your pones!
We'll go right over there!
With Dan the Jerk-
Phoenix the Lawyer
And all their friends
The insanity will never end-
It's vacation time!

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

Dan, the man with the plans! ... Sort of.

[LadyLeomon]

I'm a bit later this week, apologies good Author but I am indeed here! A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ now lemme see here *dons reading glasses*

Yes! An epic confrontation where Dan will use his considerable skills to interrogate and tear down the traitor in our midst? Yay! Wait-wait ... Mayor Mare isn't a traitor? ... The yays are doubled! She may be a bit of a ditz but she does an okay job given her circumstances, especially trying to help the citizenry not be totally dependant on Dan ... I guess that's okay. And I suppose Ponyville needed that gold when Princess BlueBlood made a mess of things ... and the Brothers aside she did make a good call assembling Trixie and Friends ... so I forgive you Mayor Mare

Wait ... WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?! So Mayor Mare is a no-good back-stabber? I demand vengeance But how can she fool the Magetama? (I hope to Arceus I spelt that right, it's been a while) I assume that's what Phoenix meant with his inner dialogue. An average Pony shouldn't be able to do that, right? Unless she isn't ... Mayor Mare is either exceptional and I just never noticed or this isn't the Mayor ...

Well, I love me a vacation chapter so away we go! Let the Mayor (if that is her real title, reveal her scheme in her own time. I can wait! Meanwhile, to the beach! Or is it skiing this time? I'm imagining a hilarious frolick in Vitello Shin Chan style (see the trilogy episodes: I Go Skiing, Fun at the Ski Lodge and Dopes at the Slopes, I love those ones)! Dan would take the role of Shin Chan causing chaos just minus the dropping of the trousers, we had enough of that back at the Battle of the Enclave, right Phoenix?

Now for my favourite quotes:

(I'll fill this in soon, I'm behind with last chapter I know I'm just super tired and wanna write my review first)

And that is everything I loved (most) about this week's chapter! Like always thank you for making my Sunday, I've been feeling blue the last few days thinking about things that bother me that I know I can't change but I know I can always depend on the Dan-tastic adventures of Dan and Friends every week. Especially since Michael Hay is back (squee!) haven't seen him since the Christmas in Equestria episode! Is his friend with more common sense Barro around or is he taking his own mini-vacation? I just love these two so much

Awesome as always Mr Author and I'll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^

[Barrobroadcaster]

8743738
Still looking forward to it, sweetie!

[Razzy]

Ah, good to see that the local government system runs on insane troll logic.

[Barrobroadcaster]

8747493
It doesn't really run. That's the illusion- most of Ponyville has gotten along on its own without any form of government for about 2 years now. It's not a political statement, it's not taking a side, some ponies have fucked up. And others haven't.