The massive Cogsdale closed in on them, its cog-shaped shadow already covering the base again. Dan and Phoenix looked up at it, the sheer size of the machine enough to easily dwarf any airship they'd ever seen before. Lightning crackled around its exterior and the vacuum in the center started up again.
"So... I'm sure you have some idea of how to beat that thing, right?" Phoenix asked. He glanced over at Dan; the other human's eyes were still fixated on the approaching flying fortress. "Right? Dan?"
"I'm working on it."
"Please don't tell me you're going to try to moon that thing."
"Nicky!" Dan looked over at him. "You should know I'd never do anything like that!"
"Yeah, I was just checking."
"Honestly, Nicky," Dan shook his head. "Repeating the same diversionary tactic so early and with the SAME diversion. You know I'd never make a strategic error like that!"
"Oh, sure... of course," Phoenix said, nodding. (Pulling your pants down is a tactic? I wonder if that would work in court against Gaspon or Edgeworth...)
"OBJECTION!! The witness's statement is clearly faulty, Your Honor!"
The Judge blinked, surprised. "It is? Where exactly is it faulty?"
*zzzzip!* "Right here!"
The courtroom was stunned into silence. Miles Edgeworth, across from Phoenix at the prosecutor's bench as usual, had frozen. An expression of abject horror spread over his face. At the Judge's stand, the Judge's jaw was frozen open. They all looked at Phoenix, greening sheepishly as he bent over and presented his "decisive evidence."
"OBJECTION!!" Godot yelled, suddenly appearing at the witness stand.
The Judge was still frozen, unblinking and made no indication he heard Godot's objection.
"Um... what?" Phoenix asked, still mooning the court.
"The prosecution submits this evidence to the courtroom!" Godot declared, grinning as he unbuckled his pants. "BEHOLD! EXHIBIT A!!"
"NOOOOO!!!!" *Phoenix's Psyche-Guage explodes along with the entire courtroom*
"No!" Phoenix yelled, suddenly panting. Dan, Vice Grip and the Blasties were all staring at him.
"No what?" Dan asked. "You okay, Nicky?"
"I'm... I'm fine," Phoenix said, swallowing. "Just... just had a thought about a courtroom tactic. That I will never try."
"Heh," Dan chuckled. "Never say never, Nicky."
"Right." (NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER *mentally inhales* NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER! NEVER!)
"Neither of you will have to worry about that ever again!" Vice declared with a malevolent glee. "I'm going to reduce you both to atomic particles and use you to build a new Equestria! Say goodbye, bipeds!"
"Oh boy..." Phoenix remarked. "Alright, what's the plan, Dan?"
"Oh mai gawd," Vice said, listening to the two of them. "It's like I'm fighting an angry Alfred E. Neuman and Japanese Tom Cruise from a A Few Good Men!"
"That's Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee," Phoenix said.
"What?"
"Lt. Daniel Kaffee, that's the characters name."
"Oh. And of course, you'd know that," Vice remarked.
Dan looked confused. "Who the hell's Alfred E. Neuman?"
"Dan!" Phoenix yelled. "Plan! Now!"
Dan shrugged. "Eh, we don't need a plan."
"WHAT?!" the lawyer shrieked. "Aren't you worried that thing'll destroy us?"
The smaller human grinned. "What, me worry?"
"Yeah..." Blast Fuse hovered up beside him along with her sister. The cute ponies took positions at his sides. "Dan, we're all for explosions but..."
"Not ones we're in the blast radius of."
"Ooooh! Reminder, we need to check on the primers on the Enclave's explosives for Blast Radius."
Blast Powder shook her head. "Noooo, we need to check on the radius of the Enclave's explosives for Blast Primer."
"We don't have a relative named Blast Primer," Fuse corrected. "We have a cousin named Blast Timer and then Blast Charge's brother is Blastimus Prime."
"Blastimus Prime?" Powdy said, skeptical. "You just made that up right now. You JUST made that up RIGHT now."
"Okay, well why don't you call Blastimus and ASK HIM IF I MADE HIM UP?!"
"SHUT UP!!" Vice Grip jammed his fingers into the buttons, pressing them rapidly and pointing his remote at the group. "I CAN'T STAND IT! YOU IDIOTS AREN'T DYING FAST ENOUGH! I HAVE TO MAKE THIS THING KILL YOU FASTER!" The Cogsdale's shadow passed over Vice Grip, edging perilously close to the humans and ponies.
"DAN!!" Phoenix shrieked. "DO SOMETHING!!" (I'm tightening my pants!)
Dan put his arm around Phoenix and patted him on the back. "Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. We don't need to do anything, pal."
"WHY... not?"
"We got it all under control," Dan said, putting his hand up to his hooves-free device. "Daring, you in position?"
"Ready when you are, captain!"
"Heheh, good. Let 'em have it," Dan said, smiling.
"What are you talking about?" Vice asked.
"Dan?" Phoenix asked. "Was that... Daring Do on the phone with you? What was this about?"
"Like I said, Nicky- diversionary tactics."
Phoenix was about to ask what he meant by that... when the explosion answered for him. High above them, just as the vacuum was about to start again, Cogsdale exploded. Blossoms of fire erupted along the back of the vehicle around the engines, breaking metal panels off into melted shrapnel. The flying fortress's bow dipped as more explosions ripped out from the inner ring, tearing through the gear-shaped vessel. The entire ship began to split in half from back to front, finally breaking into two huge chunks that exploded in a ball of purple-orange flames. And not a single cinder even hit the ground.
Vice stared up, slack-jawed at his creation burning like a halo directly over his head. Part of it came down and ripped into the mesa behind Halberd Base, which oddly enough resembled a giant cornucopia full of assorted fruits that had been sculpted by a dismayed artist unable to escape his fate as a popular cartoonist. Yeah, the one from Rocko's Modern Life. But, from behind it. What the hell is it even called- a Still Life or something? What is that even? Google is being no help at all on this one... I'm beginning to wonder if even I get this reference. Still Life... that's a thing. World's largest Still Life. That is what we are going for. I guess. Anyway...
"You... you maniacs!" Vice yelled. He fell to his knees, staring up at the sky. "You blew it up! You blew it up and now I'm Charlton Heston for some reason! Damn you... damn you all to hell!" he said, pounding his metal fist into the sand.
"Hahaha!" Dan laughed, standing over the defeated scientist. "Cool Stories, Vice City bro but there's one problem with all your little sneak attacks."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
Dan pointed upward. Vice looked up to see the remains of his ship crumbling down. A silvery object, a flying DeLorean sped out of the wreckage just as it completely incinerated.
"A real sucker punch is one you don't see coming. You wait till they're looking one direction and then you hit from the other. But you just keep coming at me from the same direction. You can call me predictable but really, you're just as-"
"Wait wait wait wait," Vice held up his hands. "I know what's happening. You're making me look up at all the burning wreckage and you're gonna punch me in the face while I'm distracted, right?"
"No, actually," Dan said, patting him on the shoulder. "But Phoenix is right behind you and he has your remote."
"What?"
"G'night, sucker." Vice had just enough time to turn around before Phoenix clocked him with his own remote. While his holographic projector technology prevented him from being touched by others when he didn't want to, he had configured it so he could still use the remote while intangible. This meant that the remote had to interface with him, which meant it could interface with his face. And Dan and Phoenix had known that since he pulled it out.
Vice hit the sand like a ton of bricks. "I got him!" Phoenix said.
"Yep, you got him. Good job, Nicky."
Aw, no Marvel 3!
Also, I DID NOT NEED THAT COURTROOM SCENE IN MY NIGHTMARES. Just remove that part and leave it to the viewer's imaginations, m'kay?
7681298 That's far from the first thing Phoenix has imagined that he's wanted to have removed. Like him, you must now deal with it.
Hahahaha! OOoohohoho man... this made me laugh and feel a little better, this is a nice story to read when you're sick. *pathetic coughing noises*
Nice job man, nice job!
I accept these names as canon :P
Owned!
Hah, Blastimus Prime.
Ahhh, the remote. And heres me reading that story years ago about deep sea exploration by using a phase through from a parralel dessicated world, and balloons.
And that Delorean isnt even the real one.
that courtroom scene
so i guess daring wasn't betraying them after all
well anyway keep up the good work
7681599 Nuuuuu I hope you get well soon. And yes, I've kind of taken the liberty of creating an entire family for the Blasties.
I won't lie to you Dan, right at the beginning I was really worried about you, Phoenix and the Boom-Boom Sisters ... But I should have know better! Forgive me Dan-nificent one
Now where was I? Oh yeah:
Phoenix you were hilarious this chapter! I loved that courtroom scene, but methinks the Attorney doth protest too much! Seriously I sat here and counted 56 NEVERs, you sound pretty sure of yourself Pheeny lol! But Dan's right, never say never
Then there's the Boom-Boom Sisters (my favourite nickname Dan gave them back in the Crystal Empire btw!) and their family with names every bit as cool as their own: Blast Primer/Blast Timer, Blast Charge and of course Blastimus Prime! Does the last one make his leaving beating up Decepticons? I demand the Blasties make that phone call to confirm his existence!
Oh Vicey-Vicey-Vicey ... don't you ever learn? Dan and friends will always find a way to save the day from you and your nasty ar-may (that sounded way funnier in my head)! The only part involving Franken-pony this chapter I liked was that ending:
... There are no words for how much I love you right now Phoenix Wright
Oh and I feel the need to apologise to Daring, I guess she isn't a nice-good dirty traitor afterall ... I still don't like her sneaking samples from Fluffle's adorable family though! I suppose I could forgive her if I get to see a flashback of what went on behind the scenes after her 'betrayal'?
Just so hilarious and awesome as always, see you next chapter ^_^
P.S Cannot believe I forgot this: I never said thank you for including Ariados and Joltik in the last chapter, as a Lioness who loved Pokemon long before Dan, FiM, Flufflepuff or even Phoenix Wright I am forever grateful for the many Pokemon references you spoil me with :heart
7682769
Me too man, this is absolute hell for me ugh... and thanks.
That makes me happy in ways I cannot even begin to imagine.
hahaha, nice man, maybe we'll see them in the future :P
Keep it up dude.
7682997 We've had Pokemon in this for quite a while... and more of those to come. Mostly, we're going to have a few Teams show up, not that they haven't already. As always though, we're only too lucky to have you as a fan, LadyLeo Unfortunately, even though we've put so much into the story, we do have to cut things out now and then and I'm not just talking about the bloopers. We've had to scrap several scenes and there's several chapters that are unfinished and unpublished in the story. If you think this thing is long now, just imagine what you're not seeing.
We've expanded on a lot of the characters from fan favorites to cameos. The entire arc involving Vice Grip's tribe of dogs aka the Metal Hounds, the rest of Lightning Claw's brothers, Gust Grasp's family, the Wonderbolt missions, Nightshade's secret operations, Princess Luna's airship and yes, more Pokemon. We have a lot we're still working on and still 11 more episodes to go this season.
I always appreciate your support, though. And we still have such a long way to go. Get comfy, sister because it's gonna be a looooooong ride!
7683001 We are definitely going to give the Blast Sisters more attention next episode. Originally, they were supposed to get their whole boss fight against Captain Springer but we had to scrap it for time. We also had to edit other things- sometimes on the fly. The Mexican Fiesta the Enclave was having was originally supposed to be a party catered by Subway featuring cutouts of former mascot Jared. It goes along with the running gag that all the bad guys in this story are implied creepy stalkers and/or pedophiles.
But, even we have standards(however low they may be) and limits to how low can we sink(and just when we think we've hit the bottom, the floor opens up!). It turned out, Jared was too creepy even for us to add to a rated E story and on top of that, we still have Vinyl Scratch and Tavi as the co-owners of similar franchise, Wubway, which is the music store/sandwich shop from episode 3. Despite the fact that it is frequently demolished, Wubway remains in business and so it would be kind of confusing for Subway to appear in the story as well.
So, we have a deleted content chapter where Dan has to fight the Subway-sponsored Enclave and General Sharp Winter in a Subway-style suit of power armor capable of launching sandwiches, condiments and using its power fists(which are knuckle sandwiches.) He has to use a cutout of Jared as a weapon... which is again, very creepy.
Also, the Director was supposed to teleport Dan to an alternate version of Earth before he was sent to the Paradise Lost Estate(Dilapidated Paradise Estate). The Director was to show Dan a "perfect world for him" and demonstrate the ability to travel dimensions, showing Dan one where he actually fit in. Dan would've visited a version of Earth where everyone is 100% honest all the time, politicians and bureaucrats actually do what they say, people actually do their jobs and Dan is a justice of the peace that enforces the law. Vegan Vic appears as a reformed character working ironically enough at Burgerphile.
And finally, the one part we were very disappointed to delete was Wendy Oldbag and Larry Butz appearing as soldiers in the Enclave during the Halberd Base Assault chapters. Wendy and Larry were supposed to have been teleported there by the Director to work as additional security guards, with the idea of it being Wendy's wish fulfillment to be an actual "sci-fi space trooper." Upon seeing Phoenix, Larry was supposed to betray the Enclave only to be caught by his supervisor, Wendy Oldbag, and she would've threatened to shoot Larry if Phoenix and Dan didn't cooperate. Dan and Phoenix would've then had to concoct an elaborate plan to rescue Larry during the fighting.
Now... when I say these were "deleted" I mean they were removed from the story. For now. They WILL be put in at a later date, a later episode. And this is just minor stuff. You guys are in for a ride.
7683672
Woooooow dude, what a lot of missing content! I have no words man, hehehe, its a bit overwhelming.
But dang dude, I approve of this! Can't wait for this ride, hehehe