Silver Spoon hadn't been paying attention to the minigun firing behind her for a while now. She was busy checking her stocks on eTrade on her silver-plated iPhone. Even as she was locked in a battle, one she may lose everything in, she was still micromanaging other parts of her business.
*BLAAAAMM!*
She turned around. Dan's tram behind her exploded, leaving only a cloud of acrid black smoke in its wake. Her face lit up and she was unable to keep herself from grinning at the sight. "Ha... HAHA! HAHAHA!" She turned off her spork-firing minigun and the weapon collapsed to pieces. Not a concern to her, though; the weapon had done its job.
Her radio crackled. "Umm, uh, ma'am? Miss Silver Spoon?" Spinner's voice came through, uncertain-sounding.
She picked up the transmitter. "Yes? Which one is this?"
"It's Spinner."
"Who?"
"Spinner, I'm with the Enclave."
"The what?"
"*sighs* Captain Springer's friend."
"Ohhh," Silver Spoon said, nodding though she only half-understood and less-than half-cared. "What do you want?"
Garbled voices came from the other end. "Uhh, we captured Dan and the other guys. They're uh... here. And stuff."
"Oh! You were the one that blew up their tram?"
More garbling, a pause, then "Yes."
Silver Spoon immediately stopped her tram and reversed it, nearly tipping it as it lurched backwards. "Excellent, excellent! You actually caught them? That's splendid! I'm going to have to give you a PROMOTION for this!"
"Uh... o-okay."
"I'll be back there in a moment. You hold tight now, you trooper you! You're gonna be the new employee of the month!" Silver Spoon said, delightedly. On the other end of the radio, a less-comfortable Spinner hung up without the customary 'over and out.' Silver's tram carried her back to the smoldering pile of metal that was the other tram. Two figures in hazmat suits stood on the parallel walkway that ran the length of the corridor and waved her over.
"Girls girls girls!" Silver said, jumping out of her tram, "You have done the company very, very proud. By ridding us of those two pale bipedal annoyances, you have assured the future of FIST and the Silver Consortium. You're both going to get SILVER Stars for this, with cluster for sure!"
The two suited mares exchanged a glance but said nothing. They nodded simultaneously.
Silver pulled out her phone. "I just tweeted about you eliminating Dan. Our stock jumped nine whole points and we're seeing a steady increase in investment- already twenty percent! This has indeed been a good day."
"Looks like your day is done, Spoony," Phoenix said, appearing from behind Sprinner's tram.
The silver-clad mare rolled her eyes but continued typing on her phone. "And of course, I have fallen for your trap. Should've known it was too good to be true."
"Uh... does this mean you're going to come quietly?" Phoenix asked.
"I don't appear to have a choice. At least I can manage my portfolio and try to mitigate this disaster with-"
Dan was less 'surprise/gotcha' than Phoenix was. The moment he popped up from the tram, he walked over with a simple, homicidal rage right up to Silver Spoon and smacked her with the head of his Pain Cane. He continued bashing her as she went down, beating the side of her head brutally, hoping to knock some sense into her.
"You squee! You squee squeeing squee! Squeeing squee squee squee of squee! I have squee squee with squee squee squee squee squeeing squee and a squee! You SQUEE! YOU SQUEE SQUEE SQUEE!" he yelled, a chain of expletives that echoed off the metal walls and down the tunnel. "AAAHAHH!" Dan punctuated the profanity with an angry yell and kicked Silver Spoon's limp form one more time before walking away.
"Holy squee," Phoenix remarked.
"Nicky, language. I expect better from you. Keep it English, no pardoning French," Dan said.
"I... understand," Phoenix said. (Does he just come up with this crap off the top of his head?)
Blast Fuse and Blast Powder, who had been in the hazmat suits, removed the helmets of said suits. "Meh, she got off easy," they both said simultaneously. "What do you want us to do with them?," they asked, gesturing towards Spinner and Springer who were tired up behind them.
"Blow 'em up," Dan said, going through Silver Spoon's tram. The Blasties materialized a plethora of bombs on each hoof, sporting silly grins.
"H-how about we take them with us?" Phoenix suggested.
"Errrggh," Dan groaned. "Fine. I just came here to rescue the CMC- I didn't realize we'd be recruiting Scratch and Grounder at the same time."
"Am I Scratch or Grounder?" Spinner asked.
"Yes," Dan replied. "So, Nicky, I guess you want us to not leave Spoony in here to be consumed by the righteous hellfires we are about to unleash when we blow this place, destroying her with all she has built in a fitting and just- you're not paying attention to me are you?"
As Dan was talking, Phoenix picked up Silver Spoon's limp form and put her in the back of her own tram. "Let's get going. We should deal with the core before Vice Grip or the Director comes back to see what we did to the place."
Dan nodded. "I have to admit, that is good thinking," he grinned, brandishing his cane again and added, "Back aboard the boom tram!"
"Woo woo!" They boarded once more and zipped off, leaving the wreckage behind them. There was no further pursuit as they continued the maintenance corridors to the core of the complex, continuing along the track. The shaft they were in encircled the entire core itself, meaning they were looking for a connection in the middle. But as they continued, they found multiple signs pointing towards the center, but indicating different things: ASSEMBLY CORE, GEOTHERMAL CORE, ARCANE CORE and CORE EXCHANGE(Boss) respectively.
Dan sighed at the last one. "Boss...that's a video game thing, right?"
Phoenix nodded. "Yeah, that's- hey, why don't you know this already?"
"I don't play video games."
"OBJECTION! You play Mario Kart! You played... well, you played my games! Once," Phoenix pointed out.
Dan shrugged. "Mario Kart's mainstream. I don't really consider it a video game, more like a party game video game."
"Hol- wait, how does that make any sense?"
"Second, your games didn't have bosses in them. Unless you count Professor Layton and Galactus."
Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck. "The professor... if he was here now, he could probably help us get out of here."
Dan patted him on the back. "Of course he would. But I'm right about the boss thing, right?"
"Probably," Phoenix nodded. (And this would probably be a good time to save.)
"Alright then, let's try lucky door CORE EXCHANGE- BOSS thing," Dan announced. They hopped off the tram, the Blasties dragging the restrained prisoners behind them. The camera zoomed in on the two sisters concernedly.
"What?" Blast Fuse asked, tugging the unconscious Silver Spoon over a curb. "You don't expect us to actually carry them do you?"
"I bet if we had shovels, they'd expect us to bury them," Powdy added.
Blast Fuse tapped her chin. "Burying them... in a steel tube underground. I'm trying to think of a way that would work, not coming up with much."
"It's Dan," her sister replied. "He'd make it work."
"Good point."
The door to the core, or at least one of the doors to one of the cores was huge and high, almost like one of the doors connecting the maintenance shafts in the tram tube. In the event of an emergency, they could open up to reveal more tram pathways for easy access.
They continued through the hallway to the core. Monitoring equipment was near a couple of the doors along with lockers and containers, the usual setup for "evil repairs." Malevolent machines needed constant maintenance.
"Now remember, we're looking for what again?"
"Red signs, warning labels, anything that says DANGER on it or INFLAMMABLE and is red and explosive," Phoenix said.
"Precisely. Should be getting close to it," Dan said. They exited the room and entered another. But instead of red, they saw pink. "The... heck?"
"Don't you mean... oh..." Tubes and containers lined the walls from floor to ceiling. A length of tube ran from the wall on the other side of the room through the sides. They all glowed pink, pumping some kind of strange fluid.
Phoenix squinted. "Is that... the pink slime from Ghostbusters II?"
"The mood slime," Dan said. "That was the stuff from that evil day spa. It's some kind of... brainwashing chemical or something. You weren't here at the time, Nicky, but this stuff almost got to Twilight and the others."
"I remember you telling me about it," Phoenix said. "It appears we've found the source."
"Yet another reason to blow this place sky high. C'mon, let's hurry it up," Dan said, and picked up the pace through the room, followed by his friends. The next room they entered was dark, almost pitch-black. A light came from a corner of the door at the other end of the room, illuminating it more than the pink goo tubes and dimmed lights on the ceiling. But as they approached, it made them feel less comfortable.
"This... this is new. Gotta say, this is new."
"New for me, too, Dan. I don't like this."
The door in front of them had been forced open- from the inside. Like something out of a science-fiction horror lab, the jagged metal had been peeled back to the hinges, forced apart as if by something of monstrous strength. Jagged gashes were carved into the metal of the floor, too deep to be the claws of any of the largest dragons known in Equestria. So deep, Dan and Phoenix had to be careful to step over them. The sides of the door held ruined letters on either side, letters that had once spelled the word BOSS.
Phoenix looked at the gashes and swallowed. "It got out. The boss... it must have forced its way out."
"Does that mean..." Blast Powder looked around, scared, "that it's loose in the facility?"
"Watching us right now...?" Her sister grabbed her again. Spinner hopped over to join the hug, unable to walk because of the bindings.
"Okay, umm... new idea," Dan said, turning to Phoenix and the others, "We're going to go back. And we're going to get one of those tanks from the evil factory floor place."
"We're going to go all the way back to get a tank?" Phoenix asked. "You know what, that sounds like a great idea, let's get going." They both turned to the door to see the Blasties already trotting quickly back to the tube.
"I think they agree," Spinner said, still dragging behind them. "Hey, if I join your side now, can you untie me?"
"Let's get back to the tram first!" Dan yelled. They all began running out of the creepy core.
The doors back into the tube couldn't have opened quickly enough for them. When they did, Dan and the others had to stop again.
"Knight!" Dan exclaimed. "Ah, thank goodness you're here!"
The giant metal pony turned its head to them. "I decided you might need the help. Things haven't been going to plan, have they?"
"Not exactly," Phoenix said. "But this works out- we were just going back to get one of the tanks."
Knight tapped a hoof to her chin. "Ah yes, the Apocalypse tanks. What would you be needing one of those for?"
"We need some heavy artillery to take out the core. But now that you're here, I don't think we need to go back for one," Phoenix said.
"Convenient," the Magic Gear turned to them and lowered it's head, opening up its command cabin for them to board. "Come aboard and we can take care of the core together."
Phoenix smiled, relieved. "Thanks. I'm actually really happy that-" Something stopped him. He looked down to see Dan holding his cane in front of his chest to block his passage. Turning to Dan, he saw that the human was staring at the giant metal mech, focusing on it intensely, eyes unblinking. Phoenix understood... and suddenly felt his stomach sink.
"Say, uh... Knight," Dan started. "How did you get in here?"
The Magic Gear recoiled. "I don't know what you- I mean, that does not compute. Please rephrase your inquiry."
Phoenix's lip was trembling. Dan noticed, starting to sweat. "Your... your cutie marks. They-they've changed."
"Knight" looked at her flanks. "I, uh, uh, it is a result of um... an upgrade," she quickly explained.
"An upgrade?" Dan asked.
"Yes-err, affirmative. I swapped out my armor and my cutie marks for... new ones. Sir."
"How did you get your cutie mark?" Dan asked, trembling. "H-how... originally?"
The Magic Gear started to shake. "Uh-uh, I... umm..."
Phoenix looked right into her eyes. They glowed reddish-pink. "You're not Knight, are you?"
"IT'S THE BOSS! THE BOSS IS A CHANGELING GEAR!!!" Dan screamed and ran back through the doors.
Momentarily, the others stood there, stunned and looked to the Magic Gear to either confirm or deny the accusation.
"I, um... well... squee." The form of Knight shifted, becoming almost liquid-like and reformed into a giant pony-crab like creature with a scorpion's stinger and six sharp legs. It's head was still that of a filly's but with sharper teeth and glowing eyes. It had metamorphed into a giant nope. A 650-ton nope. "Guess there's no fooling you guys, is there? Hahahaha!"
Adaptive Independent Warfare Assembly Platform
Magic Gear VOLCANUS
'Mother' of Gears
The others yelped and turned tail, following Dan back through the doors. The colossal gear snapped its pincers at them as they fled. "Where are you going? Seriously, you're going to have the boss chase you back to the boss' lair? How original is that?"
"Squee you!"
"Batting hundreds for originality, aren't we?" VOLCANUS gave chase to them, intent on avenging its daughters.
Wow, Im slow, I realised just after Phoenix.
Pity Dan couldnt get someone to cream the portfolio before tanking it with hostile takeover fails and profit warnings. Might as well profit from the failiure of evil?
Oh crud. I wouldve said Nope vs Crusader, but I havent worked out the latest upgrades yet and seen if they would be allowed to be installed. I mean, how OP is a BOLO with Portal capabilites?
Before anything else, I don't believe i said thank you for your kind words about Flashymon last time, so thank you sincerely, knowing I can look forward to a new Dan-sane adventure every week cheers me up Moving on now:
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ now lemme see here *puts on reading glasses*
So mini-boss taken care of ... Oookay, me personally? I would have raided the other rooms first for treasure or weapon power-ups first, but that's just me, Boss Battle ho
Yay Knighty's here! now we can-*re-reads paragraph* oh buck me! RUN DAN RUN! Or perform a High-Level Summon! Both options are equally viable! (I should also point out Chrys would probably be SUPER p***ed off knowing a Changeling Mecha was trying to crush her man!) and again, where the fudge did Marksaline go?!
Now my favourite quotes:
See Phoenix doesn't need to threaten to make an awesome entrance!
See Phoenix? Dan knows you swearing would tarnish your dazzling attorney image and we can't have that!
Just the entire video game reference here, sorry it took so long! Phoenix raises yet another great point Dan, don't forget the SAVE POINT! Losing a butt-load of progress is a pain, trust me as a Pokéfan I know this
But this intro alone:
Adaptive Independent Warfare Assembly Platform
Magic Gear VOLCANUS
'Mother' of Gears
Oh *squee* me! I can't wait for next week! Go D-Team!
Thanks for another awesome Sunday and I'll catch you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
Oh Mr Author! Mr Author!!! *waves claw madly*
Also I wanted to ask: would any of Dan's Earth adversaries be making cameos in future episodes? A single line of reference in the bad guy army would be hilarious! From re-watching Season 1 alone I got:
Wolfman
Yeti (apologise to your Uncle Chris! Technically that was Canada, but still lol!)
Fake Dan,
the Lemonade Stand Gang,
George Washington,
Stupidity,
Elise's parents ... wow this is a long list, but I gotta say: GW, the Wolfman and the Yeti are my favourites, oh and Ye Olde Shakespeare Dinner Theatre! Dan caused a literal riot that time!
Just for Dan to make the reference to them: "I keyed a Wolfman's car once" or "oh yeah, I got revenge on George Washington once" I got would be too friggin' funny! Chrys, Fluffle and the Blasties would approve I'm sure! Whatever Dan does next I'll love and adore! just wanted to mention these key points in Dan's earth shenanigans ... maybe even Tuxley's less refined cousin too haha!
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
Haha! Oh Scratch and Grounder! Those two crack me up when I watch Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog!
Heeheehee, oooh boy, they got their hands full with this Magic Gear They're gonna have to do their best to take it down!
Whoo!
Good show!
A Magic Gear with changeling magic... welp, it was bound to happen sometime...
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*is writing this down*
Like I've told you before... I've seen maybe one episode of Dan Vs. D: But! I shall endeavor to do as you wish and in fact, I'm already starting. We've been planning on adding references to Ted for a while... for a very special reason. And is Flashymon your project about the League of Beasts and Creatures?
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Hello Mr Barro
I had no idea, you portray Dan so well! If it's an inconvenience please don't let it distract from your already carefully laid out planning of future episodes. My apologies
Flashymon was, and still is, my nickname for my elderly cat who just passed away, I'm still getting used to not having her around looking forward to Dan's adventures every week gives me something to smile about.
Thank you like always for your important time Mr Author and I will eagerly be awaiting the boss battle against Volcanus (I must ask is Volcanus like an evil version of Titanus from Power Rangers? The name just sounds so familiar)
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
P.S please know now I will re-read Pets and Projects and think of my much-loved and still-missed kitty too
That Gear is a spy!
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It's okay, sweetheart! I'm sorry about Flashymon, please make sure your life has plenty of love and pets in it! You certainly get love from me It's not a distraction, this story is about catering to the audience and the fans.
And actually, VOLCANUS is somewhat original. She's based on Metal Gear EXCELSUS, a very large Mech from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Silver Spoon is somewhat of a reference to Senator Armstrong in that game and is supposed to have similar glasses. Decided to give her more changeling-esque qualities to make her unique. You'll be seeing more of that shortly.
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I know, I was so happy to make that reference FINALLY. There's more than one Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog reference in this chapter, too.
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Very OP indeed.
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Technically, it happened before the others
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Yes they are.... I'd keep a close eye on this Gear if I were you, Dustchu. Also, planning on using the Blasties for a new spinoff.
They're just so cute. You ever heard of the game Blast Corps? Look it up. I have... ideas.
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That EnginGear is a spy!
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Methinks I shall keep an eye on it, whew!
Ooohohohoho xD Blast Corps? That's going to be fantastic xD
Meanwhile outside, a certain black pegasus crashed into a window again. Poor guy.