Equestria
Midsummer Night Castle
Back on regular Equestria, Twilight and friends weren't having near as much fun as Dan and the others were having in the Mirror Universe.
"Get behind me! Get behind me!" Chris shouted. Twilight with Spike on her back came crashing through the east door followed closely behind by Trixie and Vinyl Scratch riding of all things, Vinyl's Bass Cannon. And right behind them was all their other friends, except they were trying to murder them.
Chris and Tuxley fired from their respective rifles. Rubberized rounds, as most of Chris' ammo had somehow changed from a lethal to non-lethal variety since coming to Equestria, not that it mattered anyway because shields blocked his shots. Still, it slowed them down, so he continued firing.
Two other humans, Norm Cooper the stormtrooper and Jeb the Rebel soldier, fired their own blaster rifles at the oncoming crowd. The two men, former enemies from a galaxy far, far away, had also found themselves summoned to Equestria and were doing their best to support Twilight and friends. Despite their past as bitter foes, they were now fighting alongside the royalists to help them restore the kingdom.
"Norm!" Jeb yelled, "Grenades! To the back!"
"Right!" The two soldiers pulled out a pair of sonic detonators. They activated them simultaneously and tossed them over the crowd, over the mob's magic shields to the entrance. The grenades exploded but didn't hurt the ponies, only knocked them down and shook them off their hooves. It gave Twilight, Chris, Tux and the others a few moments to regroup.
"Wait, those are our ponies!" Reginald shouted.
"Not right now they're not!" Twilight yelled, taking cover behind him. "They're possessed! All the ponies and griffons that got seasick have become possessed somehow!"
"Terrific, I'm happy I packed my own food," Chris said.
Twilight spun on her hooves to face the oncoming attackers. They weren't zombies or in a trance, the ponies and griffons attacking them seemed fully aware, awake and coherent. Apart from the eerie glowing eyes accompanied by the murderous look and shouts of violence. They were using magic, they weren't climbing on top of each other, they were a mob. A very angry, possessed mob.
Her horn glowed, she threw up her front hooves and summoned a shield. "I'm not sure how long I can hold them back!" Her purple barrier filled the hallway from floor to ceiling, blocking the possessed ponies' attacks. They threw things at the shield and the unicorns fired their own spells at it, but Twilight was an expert at shield spells. She could hold off their attacks for a while, at least. Still, their advances forced her back.
At least until ponies came crashing through the stained glass windows.
"Return!"
"Whole again!"
"Return us!"
They shouted as they landed.
"We're surrounded!" Lightning said, chain-zapping the new possessies as they charged in.
"Retreat to the foyer! We're being outflanked!" Chris shouted.
"How?! They're pouring in all sides!" Twilight yelled. Spike's claws digging into her mane didn't help either.
Trixie's took a stand, cape whipping around her. "Stand back! Trixie shall save us!" She tossed a quartet of smoke balls at the ground. "Now, we flee!" Three of the smoke bombs exploded and for once, they actually worked.
"Good job, Trixie," Twilight said, galloping alongside her.
"Yeah, your disappearing finally worked for once!" Spike commented.
"Ha!" Trixie scoffed, "Trixie's tricks always work, Spike the dragon." The fourth smoke bomb exploded, except it wasn't a smoke bomb. The corridor exploded in a wave of fire, blasting all of them into the foyer. The possessed ponies had also, for the moment, been knocked unconscious. Most of them, anyway, but now a gaping hole was in the wall of the east wing. For easy access by sinister mind-controlled hordes.
Dazed and knocked on her rump, Trixie used one hoof to straighten her singed sorceress hat and the other to stop her eyeballs from swirling around her noggin.
"And what was that trick, exactly?" Twilight asked, getting to her hooves.
"Part of Trixie's... grand finale. To be honest, I might've gotten that one from the Blast Sisters."
"Speaking of those two, where would they be?" Tuxley asked.
"Were they seasick?" Reginald ask. "If so, we may have a bit of an... explosive situation on our hands."
"Pun intended?" Tux asked.
"Punfortunately, no, sir."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEE!!"
"Well, speak of the demo," said Spike. He folded his arms as he and the rest of the group watched the explosive sisters fall from the ceiling. They hit the ground, smacking into it hard. Rolls of toilet paper landed around them.
Twilight Sparkle rushed over to them and levitated them off the floor. "You two!" she exclaimed, hoping to shake them out of it before they said something stupid.
"That's one way to crash a party," Fusey said, defeating Twilight's efforts.
"You two-"
"Hi Twilight!" they said simultaneously, waving at her as she held them aloft.
"What were you both doing on the ceiling?"
"Ummm..."
"Scratch that, I don't wanna know."
"That's probably a good idea."
"Which one of you is the smart one?" Twilight asked. Both sisters pointed at the other sister, eyes wide and locked on Twilight. Neither of them wanted responsibility.
"Guys, we're gonna have more company soon," Chris said.
"The sand is magic," Lightning Claw said, thinking out loud, "But the Blasties' bombs were able to break it. How is that possible?"
Powdy made a literal rainbow with her hooves. "Mmmmagiccccc~*Bam*" The rainbow then exploded.
Vinyl trotted up to Twilight. "Twilight, Vinyl said she might be able to use the Bass Cannon to like, knockout everypony and it might, just MIGHT un-brainwash them. Maybe. Her music has that effect on ponies."
"Okay, then why aren't you over there doing that right now?" Twilight asked. "And why are you speaking in third-pony?"
"Only Trixie is allowed to speak in third-pony," said Trixie. "When other ponies do it, it's just cliche. Trixie makes it fabulous and special. This has been proven with Trixie Sciencetm."
"I'm DJ Pon-3 right now," Vinyl said, giggling. "Dude, if I broke character every time an angry mob was chasing after me... uhhh... I'd be a... uhhh... something."
The thought of dying surrounded by morons was not appealing to Twilight Sparkle. She magically lifted up Vinyl's shades, revealing her red eyes.
"EEK!"
"EVERYPONY KNOWS YOU'RE DJ PON-3. YOUR STAGE PERSONA IS NOT YOUR CHARACTER!" Twilight raged.
Prompting "OMAIGAWD VINYL SCRATCH IS DJ PON-3!!" from the Blasties.
"The princess stole my identity!" Vinyl shouted.
Twilight slowly replaced Vinyl's glasses. "I am gonna die surrounded by morons."
"I know that feel," the Director said, casually flipping through the guest book at the concierge desk. "Of course, I didn't die, so... not quite the same thing. But yeah, saying "I told ya so" to a buncha corpses and the uncaring void of absolute oblivion doesn't really have the same impact. Still did it."
"Okay... DJ Pon-3," Twilight said. Vinyl-errr, sorry, I mean, DJ Pon-3 smiled widely. "Work on modifying your Bass Cannon-"
"It's Vinyl's-"
"Work with me," Twilight said. "Focus on modifying THE Bass Cannon while we hold off the... our brainwashed friends. Please."
"Yes, Twilight. For Vinyl and Tavi."
"Alright," Twilight turned to the rest of the group, "We hold this room. Trixie, shield the front hall. Lightning Claw, the west hall. And I'll take the east," she said. With a pair of salutes, they marched off to defend their flanks. All their flanks. Flanks. Has more than one meaning here.
"Surprised we haven't had more butt jokes in this update," Fusey said.
And Twilight spun to her and her sister. "You two."
"Hi Twilight!"
"Keep making bombs."
"Thy will be done, princess purple smart," they solemnly replied.
"Protect DJ Pon-3's Bass Cannon at all costs. Our backs are to the wall on this one so... make every moment count."
It was in that very moment that the Mini Magic Gears, still attached to Lightning Claw's back, perked up.
"System reboot complete. Location unknown."
The horde of brainwashed horses attacked again, pushing against the shields Twilight, Trixie and Lightning produced. The three magic masters pushed back, holding their shields against the onslaught. Rocks, sticks, magical blasts, it was only a matter of time before they hit one of their shields with something they couldn't handle.
"Twilight?" Trixie called.
"What?"
"The seaponies... are back."
The Porto-Fun Cave fell from the ceiling and landed in the center of the room.
Seaponies Reboot Go.
Uh - oh.
Yay, Blasties!
Poor Twilight.
I'm a bit later this week but I had a super good reason this week (Pinkie Promise)! I went to the movies with my paternal parent and we had a bomb! One that was worthy of Fusey and Powdey's approval! (The latest movie in which one of Tuxley's lady cousins had a prominent role, I must say she was treated rather poorly in the production and I advise Mr Tuxley to help her sue for slander!) ... Ever so sorry Mr Tuxley but (treatment of Rexy aside) Fallen Kingdom rules!!! Now back to my review:
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ now lemme see here *dons reading glasses*
Back to Twilight and Friends holding the fort together (with duct tape and glue I imagine), and-wait a darn second! Did I miss something here? When did Chris (Dan's first bestie) get here?! To think I was about to point out a typo when I read that scene! Forgive me Mr Author ahem, moving on:
Action, action, action ... everyone who got seasick has now been 'zomponied' again (my own term!) but thanks to the Great and Powerful Trixie they'll survive till next chapter!
*Le gasp* Vinyl was DJ-Pon3 all this time?! Does Tavi know?! ... Seriously serious though, is she trolling us? ... You know what? I'm just gonna assume this is a case of split personalities, I'm too tired to dwell here too long ... Yay Blasties!
Oh thank Oprany (that's Oprah if she were a Pony) the Mini-Gears are back online! Now we really can't die until Dan comes back!
Now for my favourite quotes:
... i'm not kidding, I'm gonna go back and re-read the previous chapters cos when the Shinx did Chris get here?! I mean the last time I saw these two was when they found the plane portal to Equestria! ... And where is Elise?
I'm totally serious, thus scene reminded me of both Dead Space and that one church scene from RE: Apocalypse (the one where Alice can flying through the window the fight the Lickers)! Where is Marksaline anyway? This Marker-talk crap is her department!
Trixie teaming up with the Blasties? This spin-off just writes itself!
*claps claws energetically* Only you two, dear gentlemen, could provide such witty commentary at a time such as thus! (Translation: this line was bucking hilarious!)
I just love these two so much! but lay off Twilight! They are each the smart one!
If this was Powdy making a SVTFOE reference I may just go into a kawaii-ness coma! P
This is true, nuff said.
... Vinyl freely admits Pon3 is her stage persona (in earshot of the Blasties I add) then pretends it's some big secret?! I can forgive the Blasties cos they're so gosh-darn cute but ... Split personality it is! Moving on! And buck it Twilight you're acting like this is the worse situation you've been in (Insulting the Blasties is not cool)!
The Director is here? ... Right here? In this chapter? Now?! ... Always lovely to see you Director, any chapter graced by your presence is automatically brilliant. Please excuse me-*Lioness dives out window deciding to take chances with Rexy who is angry over her lack of consideration in her newest movie*
Oh finally some good news!
Target practice and the Fun Cave's portable counterpart arrived? The yays have been doubled!
Phew, and that is everything I loved (most) about this week's Dan-tastic installment. Like always thank you for what I consider my weekly reset after an awesome movie to complete want weekend and I'll eagerly await next week's dose of Dan-sanity (this should be patented)!
Awesome as always and I'll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
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No it's Chris Redfield. Yes, he's still in there. He separated from Cap.
Dan, Captain America, Khan and Phoenix are in the Mirror Universe where they have discovered the real Discord, Pinkie and AJ. The mirror versions of them are also there.
In Equestria prime, the princesses disappeared after trying and failing to defend the Saddle Arabians in their capital Oasis City. The Mane 6 minus Twilight went to rescue them and were captured by Vice Grip.
In Mirror Equestria, Mirror Vice Grip used Magic Gear ALT to attack the mirror Saddle Arabians in their capital Oil City. He didn't attack them directly, instead attacking their oil reserves, because mirror Vice Grip is still against killing innocents despite his furious, vengeful transition. The Empresses, Mirror Celestia and Mirror Luna, were forced to abandon their conquest of Mirror Earth(called Terra) in order to defend their oil supply and Mirror Vice ambushed them. Now, they've disappeared as well and the Resistance to the Solar Empire has forced Mirror Twilight and what is left of the Solar Empire into exile on a penal colony(mirror of the resort colony).
Mirror Chrysalis, called Chryzaliz sometimes, is masquerading as Empress Celestia in order to maintain order among the Solar Empire troopers. Mirror Vice Grip is still hunting for them, so they have kidnapped Dan to get him to either build or bring Vinyl's Bass Cannon to their universe to use it to defeat Mirror Vice Grip and Magic Gear ALT. Dan is currently semi-incapacitated from laughing at the mirror ponies because they got their asses kicked by just one Magic Gear. He has even less sympathy and respect for the evil fascist horses than he does for regular-universe ponies. Dan's only concern is getting Pinkie, AJ and reluctantly Discord and getting them and the rest of his friends back home.
Hahahaha, aaah man, every update that comes you make the Blasties more and more adorable, I love it.
Good show! Bombs away!
The Porto-Fun Cave fell from the ceiling and landed in the center of the room.
Picks up the phone, dials George Takei...
"Hello? Who is this?"
"George, say the thing..."
Sighs deeply... "Oh my..."
"Thanks." Hangs up, rubs temples for a few minutes.
"Stupid sexy Blasties... I only get like, ten more of those. Eleven tops..."
~Dollars.
I am intrigued by Trixie Science.
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*Hugs*
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Ohhh Chris Redfield ... you know I actually forgot he was there
... Oy vey things are gonna get super confusing when Dan's pal Chris joins the crew with Elise, cos then we'll have Chrys, Chris and Chris (Redfield)
Thanks like always for humouring one confused Lioness ^_^