Rarity, Doctor Whooves and their Imperial associates ran by the concessions stand three times before Dan and the others noticed. Then, they ran around twice more before Dan did anything about it. Cap and Chris tried to do something the moment they noticed, but Dan wanted to stop and evaluate the situation before intervening. For safety. And because he found watching them to be kind of funny. But also for safety.
Dan walked out into the center of the path. He knelt down, placed both palms on the dirt and felt the land. Eyes narrow, he then picked up a pinch of the dirt and held it in front of him, the grains slowly falling to the ground.
"What is he do-"
"Shhhhh," Phoenix said, shushing Chris. "We're watching the master at work."
Dan stared off in some random direction, as if searching for something on the horizon, even though they were deep underground. Satisfied, he nodded to himself. He then placed a single ice cube on the ground and stepped back.
Rarity and Doctor Whooves came running by first. Following closely behind, the two stormtroopers and Imperial officer Dan did not recognize. Finally, charging like a locomotive was the mutated Tuxley. And it was Tuxley who slipped on the ice cube.
"Grrreee-hmmmmmnnmg." The dinosaur groaned. He slipped and then slid, catching his balance but for a moment. Then, his grace failed him and the heft of his torso pulled him down and into the dirt face-first. Dan then tossed a bucket of water on him.
"And once more, we walk the dinosaur. Thanks everybody, I'll be here all week or whatever measure of time can be assessed since the world ended. Tip the help," Dan announced.
Cap, Chris and Phoenix all joined Dan, watching Tux morph back to normal as they approached. Phoenix even applauded.
"That's our guy! That's our guy, right there! What did I tell you? Master if ever there was one." (Master of Disaster, usually, but I guess that includes natural disasters, too? Eh, I'll go with it.)
Chris, arms folded, gave a slight huff. "Well, that was about the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Definitely the dumbest way to take down a B.O.W. Heh," he grinned, "Nice job, Dan."
"Thank you, Chris. See? You would've just shot him, wouldn't you?"
Chris nodded. "Yeah. I'll admit that."
"Tux seems like he's coming around," Cap said. "But what about the others?"
Dan checked his wrist, even though he wasn't wearing a watch. "Oh, they should be back around in about two minutes."
"Should I get more ice?" Chris asked with a smirk.
"No, Chris, no. That wouldn't help," Dan said.
"Hey- I was joking."
"It's alright," Dan said, patting him on his shoulder as he walked by. "Nicky's jokes sucked, too at first."
Smiling, Phoenix threw an arm around Chris Redfield buddy-buddy style. "Think about it, Chris. Soon, you'll be up to my level. And I had to work for a whole year to get where I am now."
"So, one day, I can aspire to be as dorky and ridiculous as you, Nick?"
"If you're lucky," the lawyer said.
Chris sighed, his limbs suddenly feeling heavy. "I didn't come here with expectations, but you have found a way to disappoint me anyway. Great job."
"We like to keep the bar low," Cap added. "At least, that way, everyone can join our team."
"Can't get much lower than this, that's for sure."
"It can always get lower, Chris!" Dan shouted from behind the concession stand. "Help me stuff hot dogs into my pants! We're taking all they've got!"
After Dan was done looting the snack bar, the group had yet another happy reunion.
"I dare say, this is becoming all too common place for us," Tuxley said.
"MMmmm-hmmm," they all went.
"We're just happy to have you back, Sir Tux," Phoenix remarked.
Tux looked around. "Errmm, where, may I ask, is Sir Reginald?"
After going back to the museum and reviving Sir Reginald, the group had yet another happy reunion, take two.
"Okay, so, we've seen this pinkish gooey crap everywhere," Dan said. "Obviously, Dipshit Vice Grip is using it to brainwash, mutate and transform our friends."
"We've seen it before. It was- eeeuuggh, at that day spa, of all places," Rarity said, remembering back. "I thought it was just shampoo at the time, but it seems to have more magical properties than we first realized."
"It's some sort of proto-magic," Phoenix explained. "Flim and Flam made some super sticky gum out of it, there were tubes full of it in the underground factory, the Director and Vice Grip must be using it for all sorts of things. Evil things."
"Things that will inevitably piss me off," Dan remarked. "Apparently, it can affect your brain if it gets on your head, so watch out."
"We should get a sample of it," Chris Redfield said. All of them looked over at him as he sat, arms crossed in front of him.
Dan shook his head. "We tried that. It evaporates too fast and you can't get it wet."
Chris thought. "Have you tried freezing it?"
Everyone turned to Dan. The human shifted his head. "No. But we can't exactly carry around a refrigerator with us."
"I might be able to help," Tux said. From his returned-to-usual coat pocket(his clothes were in the museum), he produced an aluminum cylinder.
"Shaving cream?" Cap asked.
"Heh. Okay, not bad," Chris said.
"Oh, I get it," Dan said, nodding. "What do I get, Nicky?"
Tux grinned. "Come now, gentlemen, you do recall I own a museum dedicated to such items, do you not?"
"A museum or a Jurassic Park?" Chris asked. And half the group laughed. So Chris's jokes were already starting to get better.
Reginald shrugged. "He does have us there, sir."
"Touche, Mr. Redfield. But Sir Dan, with this device, we may obtain and freeze a sample of the substance for examination," Tux said, holding up the Barbasol shaving cream can.
"First things first, we find Twilight and the others," Dan announced. "And first-er than that, we find a way out of here."
Doctor Whooves stopped in front of them, panting. "I've been running this entire time! Why didn't any of you say anything?!?!"
"We didn't feel like interrupting," Dan said.
"Oh you fucking piss-take." Whooves collapsed.
Dan got up. "Right. Uh, somebody wanna carry him? Anyway, we're getting out of here, so grab a hot dog while you still can."
"Where exactly is the exit, Dan?"
"Well, if there's a museum, there's only one exit, Nicky- through the gift shop."
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have not read this story
I do not plan to read this story.
This story is over 800 thousand words
Please Seek Help
Dan shows mastery of situational comedy and efficiency of resources and actions.
Maybe Chris needs to read the Manual Of Clown Combat? Or, Blind Fighting While Pie Eyed?
Achievment. You aquire the T Rex that doesnt want to riip you limb from limb, or constantly sing.
9833595
I'll seek an editor at some point. That's a type of help.
Apologies for my delayed visit Mr Barro, my family is currently 2 days into 2 weeks of cat-sitting for a friend while she's in the Land of Christmas Birds (anyone who can guess this may take a cookie from the second basket, the first basket is just for you Barro!). His name is Tigs (Tiggs?) and he has decided under the bed is his favourite place at the moment but he's missing his momma so I get it. Anyhoo:
A new chapter means it's Sunday! Now lemme see n'ere *dons reading glasses*
This newest saga, while full of awesome fight scenes, is really chafing my hide! Are all of the misplaced team members gonna be all "Hulk Smash Mode"?! Because a feral Tuxley is a terrifying sight to behold (thank Dan for that ice trap!) but a feral Flufflepuff in Hulk Smash Mode ... I'm frightened already
... Oh thank the Fausticorn we have Tuxley and Reginald back! Now, let's go kick some (more) as-I mean buttocks! (Apologies to Mr Tuxley and Mr Reginald!) Also don't hold your breath Redfield! Nicky has a natural charisma that makes even his worst jokes acceptable while you ... are better at punching boulders, let's not mess with what works (even if that game mechanic killed whatever respect I had for that particular game)
[Favourite Quotes loading ... brb Pinkie Promise!]
Phew and that is everything I love (most) about this week's chapter!
FiM is ending soon ... I've been watching it for over a decade and I'm truly sad over it it gave us some highs, some lows, great songs but best of all it gave us Discord! Then fans gave us awesome creations of their own: songs like Lullaby for a Princess and characters like Flufflepuff something you in turn made into an amazing saga that I hope to follow even after the show ends.
Thank you for all these wonderful chapters Mr Barro, they are a high point of my week that either makes a bad week bearable or a good week better.
Thank you for my newest dose of Dan-sanity and I'll see you next time!
Your Eternal Fan
9834501
I'm going to keep going with this story. FiM may be coming to an end, but this is still just the beginning of Dan's crazy adventures! And I'm always happy to have you along for the ride sweetheart. Better with ya here Always!
9834501
And thank you for the E-cookies sweetie. They're very heartwarming
Me: <Looks at longest word count HiE and finds this>
Also me:
9833595
Oh trust me, he is well and truly beyond all help.
But that's just a part of why we love him...
~$
I love Dan and the gang being smart enough to loot the snack bar on the way out.
9838465
The looting of food is the critical first step before the looting of valuables, explosives and vehicles to transport valuables and explosives, all of which are of critical importance to Dan. Can't loot on an empty stomach.
9833595
> 800k being too much
Bruh try the stories that're 2 million words, lmfaoooo
Yay, we got our dinosaur back!
One of us! One of us!
Tux became an unwitting member of sled gang