The Chronicles of Summer Rain, Vol. 8 -- Dark Melvain

by shysage

Ch.27, Never in a Million Years

What happened next unwound so painfully slow, and quietly for the most part. And I still cannot really make much sense out of this... I have never felt so close to 'so completely losing it'...

Hearing her speak... I was just stunned... My brain was just not working... When I tried to talk, nothing came out... Nothing was working...

Sitting across the cell, facing me, the Blue 'apple thief' almost yelled "Why are you in here with me? Answer me or I'll scream!"

...

It was clearly Summer...

I could tell by her voice...

I could pick her voice out of a noisy crowd...

...

Summer was sitting up against one of the short walls looking at me. I knew what she was thinking. I knew she was scared.

Before I could say anything, she said firmly "Your spot is over against that far wall over there."

I quietly said "Ok", then walked over to the spot she had indicated, and sat down, still facing her.

But in my mind I was already convinced I would not leave this jail cell without my Mare...

...

And yet... I also had absolutely no clue how to go about this. Even though she was Blue now, she was certainly my Mare, but she simply did not remember me.

It was quiet for a minute, then she asked, well, almost demanded again "Mister, what do you want from me?"

Well, I was trying to decide how to approach this even now. My brain still didn't want to work...

But never in my life, had I ever needed true friend's help as much as I needed it right then, and I told him so... And I also apologized for doubting him in the recent past... And even in my doubt, true friend was so good to me; he had brought me to within feet of my Mare yesterday, and now we were locked up in the same cell... Well, he was a true friend...

...

"Miss, what is your name?" I asked gently.

It was quiet for a minute, then she said softly "I don't remember."

I was still on the verge of tears... This feeling would last a while. Even the hope that I could get my Mare back...

"Miss, why were you stealing apples?" I asked this very softly.

"I was hungry, is that a crime too?" Her response was pretty sarcastic.

"What did you do for food before you ate apples?" I asked, softly.

Again, it was quiet for a minute, then she answered slowly "I can't remember."

"Miss, how far back from today can you remember?" I asked, softly.

It was again quiet for a minute, then she answered "Two months maybe, I don't know..."

That entire avalanche of searing pain almost drowned me that very second...

...

My brain was mush, but slowly and painfully, the pieces started to come together...

According to Cel, that timing fit with our last trip here... All I could figure... The Portal must have used almost all the magical energy it had, in order to snatch the Shila away from death...

Well, Ok... I guess, if a lost memory was all we had to deal with... And I had no clue why she was Blue now...

I choked back tears, then tried thinking again.

...

Summer asked again "What do you want from me, Mister?"

I had to ignore her question... "Miss, I think I know your name, is that ok?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, Right... what is it then?" she replied harshly. This seemed to have struck a nerve, though.

"Your name is Summer... Summer Rain..." I said gently.

I had to fight very hard again to not cry at this point.

It was quiet for a minute, then she said softly to herself "Wow, that's a very pretty name. I would take that name any day."

"It's your name, Summer" I said, again on the verge of tears. But I added "It's as beautiful as you are..."

Summer started to weep softly, but then got harsh again. "Mister, stop that... Tell me what you want..."

...

Like a half-asleep observer, I stood back and watched the rest of this just sort of fall slowly out... My brain was still mush...

"Well, first I will tell you that I will not do anything to you or with you unless you give me your permission first. And if that means I sleep over here against this wall, then that is exactly what I will do.

"Second, I want you to know that you are the most beautiful mare in all Equestria." I almost cried as I said this; I knew it was true. It was even harder because Summer began to weep softly again.

I sighed, my brain was still refusing to work.. This next part definitely just came out, I did not know where it came from. I spoke slowly and quietly...

"Summer, I know you are an amazing mare. And I want to offer to make you feel like the Princess you are... I will not force this on you, and will wait until I have your permission..." (opt:btm8a)

Like I said, not being able to give Summer anything, any more, had shattered me. I desparately wanted to give her this, even though there was nothing in it for me... Besides, I was convinced this was my Mare, and I wanted to take our relationship as deeply as possible, as quickly as possible.

Still, I honestly doubted this last offer would happen any time soon...

...

Summer was still weeping quietly. "Why are you doing this..."

It was quiet for a minute because I was fighting back tears.

"Summer, I love you and I want to help you..." I said quietly.

Still, I could hold my tears in no longer, and began to weep softly myself.

It was quiet for a minute, except for the sound of both of us weeping.

Still, I added "But Summer, I will stay right over here of that's what you want me to do."

...

It was quiet for a few more minutes. We were both crying...

"Mister, what's your name?" Summer asked quietly.

"Shysage" I replied just as quietly.

"That's a different name" she answered after some thought.

...

At this point, I was still crying softly, and I laid down on the floor, and faced the wall. I tried to stop crying. It wasn't working.

Two weeks of horror, and I was now maybe fifteen feet away...

...

It was quiet for a few more minutes. Well, I was still crying...

Summer had moved nearer to me, and was still sitting. She wasn't cying, though.

She asked softly "Shysage, why are you doing this?"

I was still weeping softly, and I think my heart answered this question, too. "Because I love you a lot, Summer..." I still couldn't stop crying though.

...

Summer thought out loud at this point. "I can't remember a lot, but in the last two months a few stallions have tried to take from me. You are going about this so totally different. I don't think I need to even be afraid of you."

This prospect really scared me...

But facing the wall, I lifted my head, sighed, and said softly "Summer, I will never do anything to you without your permission. You deserve nothing less."

I was still crying, and everything was hurting worse by the minute... I couldn't help it...

It was again quiet for a minute, except for me crying.

...

I guess it never occured to me that Summer was using her 'Fluttershy' sensitivity...

She moved to lay down next to me, between me and the wall, and began to speak. She was being nice, at least.

"Shysage, why is this hurting you so? It seems so clear to me that you will not just take anything from me. But it seems like this whole thing is hurting you a lot. I don't understand."

Well, my heart tried to say this though my tears...

"Summer, you are one of the most sensitive souls in Equestria... And you are also amazingly beautiful... How could I not want to be near you..."

Summer shook her head... "No, there's something much deeper going on here. I can feel it. It is like you really need me. I don't understand why, though."

"Summer, is it ok that I need you?" I asked, still crying. This line of questioning made little sense to me though. I'm not sure I was even capable of making sense any more...

"Well, I don't know" she answered. "I don't even know you, but I think I want to get to know you better. You are very different..."

It was quiet, except for my crying, and after a minute I added "Summer, one more thing... I will do anything I can to help and protect you. Even if that means sleeping on the other side of the room..."

I put my head back down, and just cried. I couldn't do anything else. I certainly couldn't stop this...

...

After maybe five minutes, Summer started weeping softly again too.

I think her Fluttershy sensitivity was helping her feel far more about me than I could ever say... In a lot of ways, I felt so 'laid bare' inside, before her, but that was my Mare...

There was another delay here, and she kept weeping softly. Well, we both were crying again...

"Shysage, you are really hurting a lot inside... Did I do that?" she asked quietly.

I couldn't help it, and burst into tears... I got out "No, I...", and then I could say nothing more, I was crying so hard.

I tried to stop again, and managed to say "Summer, I love you so...", and then again, I just cried... Two weeks of desolation was starting to erupt, and I couldn't seem to stop it... And I didn't think this would help, but I had little choice any more...

...

Summer wept softly for maybe a minute more, then said quietly "Shysage, I am going to hug you, but I want you to try and calm down. It hurts me so, to see you like this..."

This was so like her...

Laying next to me, she put one of her front legs around my neck, and really did hug me.

So, I tried to calm down.

But I also moved my head over against her upper chest between her front legs. Well, then I asked her if what I did was ok.

"Shysage, I'm not afraid of you, I don't think you are capable of hurting me... That's fine." she said softly.

It was mostly quiet for another minute.

...

"You are really hurting inside, and you honestly seem to really need me... I don't understand that..." she said slowly. Then she added quietly "But Shysage, I want to help you..."

I knew she meant it... This was so much like my Mare too... It seemed like the only thing behind what was going on, was that my Mare had sensed the incredible pain I had been carrying since two weeks ago. I simply could not hide that from her...

"Summer, you are the only pony in Equestria that can help me..." My heart said this, I don't know...

But I also had to add honestly "Summer, the pain I carry is because I really need you..." This was absolutely true. "...and I will do anything I can to help you..." I added, then began to cry again.

...

I think there was a delay here, but I don't think Summer wanted me to start crying again...

"Shysage, can you make me feel like a Princess? I think that will help both of us" she said all this very quietly.

This is honestly the last thing I expected her to say. I suspected she may have had desires for this, and trusted me.

But I also realized that I was slowly drifting into hysteria... Well, maybe not slowly... Inches away from my Mare, after... and she didn't remember anything... Except Summer 'saw' the oceans of pain I carried, and knew this would help me.

I slowly picked my head up, looked forward and sighed. Then I said quietly and slowly "Summer, I'm not touching you unless you are sure this is what you want."

She pulled her leg away, and rolled slowly over, but said gently "Please... But stop if I say, though, ok?"

"Of course" I replied quietly.

I have never felt so ripped in half... Part of me was so completely elated that I could even give her this again. I realized again that NOT being able to give to my Mare really had shattered me... But I still carried a sea of searing pain inside, unsure of what to even do with it, and she had no recollection of our past together...

Well, one thing was certain... I would give her the gift I promised her I would. This decision eased my pain right away, for now anyway.

So, that's what I did... I kept my word... (opt:btm8b)

Still, it was clear that none of this triggered any memories in her. That didn't matter, I would take as long as she needed, just like she had done for me...

...

As soon as I could, I moved over and laid on the floor and tried to calm down.

Summer was still laying on her back, very relaxed.

"Shysage, that was wonderful..." she said slowly.

"I am so glad, Summer" I said lovingly. I realized it had been... since I could even say anything like this.. "Summer, I love you" I said softly, then I gently rubbed her nose.

I was really taking a chance with this; I wasn't sure how this would go over.

"Can we do that more, stallion?" she asked, so we did.

Still, in the middle of rubbing noses, I pulled back a minute, then said quietly "Summer, this is not a 'one night' deal. I love you so much. I am never leaving your side again..."

Then I started rubbing her nose again.

I knew what she was doing. She was trying to feel if this was true. "You really mean that..." she said softly after a minute.

I just started crying again, and couldn't help it. To feel the depth of my love for and committment to her, and for her to have little inkling...

But it seemed this whole process was rebuilding our relationship from the most crucial aspects outward. And I really had no plan, just the hope that something would spur the reconnection of her memory. Well, I doubt I was capable of planning right now...

"Shysage, I don't remember beyond maybe two months ago, but from what I do remember, you are a very rare stallion. I don't think I want to leave you either, and I really want to help you" she said softly.

This made me cry harder... "Summer, please let me be your stallion, and take care of you..."

Again, my heart was saying this, it just came out, I don't know...

"Oh, Shysage..." Summer said softly. "Did you just propose to me?"

I sat up quickly. She was still relaxing on her back... She looked very beautiful... Well, that's because she was... is... Her now Blue coat didn't make any difference... Still, she turned to look at me.

I looked in her eyes and said "Summer Rain, most amazing mare in Equestria, will you marry me?" I meant every... single... word...

Summer started crying, and said "Shysage, I have only known you for maybe an hour, but... ...Yes, please take me..."

Never in a million years did I expect that question to come up, nor her response...

She was still on her back, now crying loudly, and I brought my head alongside hers and cried with her...

We cried together for a while. Then I asked her to roll back over, and lay on her belly next to me, and she did.

"Summer, can I sleep next to you tonight?" I asked quietly. Again, this question made no sense to me.

"Of course, Stallion" she replied softly.

"Summer, please promise me you will be here in the morning. Like I said, this is not just a 'one night' thing for me. And waking up alone just hurts me so much..."

Summer replied quietly "Shysage, I just accepted your proposal, and that means we're married now. I'm not going anywhere, unless you go too."

"Well, I just hope you dont change your mi--" I said this much then started crying again. I couldn't really help it....

It was quiet for a minute or two, and Summer did some more feeling. Then she said quietly "Shysage, I am pretty sure you meant everything you said to me tonight, and you have treated me like a Princess... I'm not leaving..."

It was quiet for a few minutes.

"Summer, I love you..." I said softly.

"Shysage, I know... And I love you too..."

It was again quiet for a few minutes, as we lay next to each other on the floor. I was trying to calm down. And it was a pretty cool night.

"Summer, I want to move you to a spot that will keep you warmer, and closer to me, can we try that?" I asked gently.

Summer sighed, then smiled "Shysage, I'm your Mare now. You don't need to get my permission for everything."

"Summer, I will always do my best to be considerate towards you. I hope that is ok." I said this, and it was true. I always treated Summer like that.

She smiled again, then said "Show me this warmer spot, Stallion."

I rolled over on my side, and asked her to climb up between my front legs, and I quickly but gently pulled her up to my chest, with her head below my neck.

"Mmmm... Oh, Shysage, this is amazing, and warm like you said. Can I sleep here?" Summer asked quickly. I guessed that sleeping outside or in this jail cell was all she could remember...

"Precious Mare, that was my intent" I answered softly.

It was quiet for a while, and Summer was soon asleep.

...

I think it was like I 'woke up' at that point. Staring at the wall, I slowly replayed what had just happened. I don't think I was capable of planning any of this...

I realized that we had done some of the more meaningful things that Summer and I had done together in the past, and Summer considered us married... This last part was amazing... I loved my Mare so deeply.

Still, it was clear that triggering the reconnection of her memory may not be easy or fast... That didn't matter to me.

Maybe less than two hours ago, I was reconciled to an utterly barren life... surrounded by friends in pain, full of pain myself, and with my future seemingly closing off in front of me...

It seemed far more than a miracle that I even had her back now, let alone married and tucked up against my chest... I choked back that avalanche of tears for a long time; I didn't want to wake her. But I really could have cried buckets for hours... or days...

I thanked true friend again... and again... and again...

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