The Chronicles of Summer Rain, Vol. 8 -- Dark Melvain

by shysage

Ch.21, Bad Day for the Library

The next morning, it seemed to take even longer to wrestle this growing mountain of pain back out of the way.

It was cold today, even outside, and I couldn't stay in the meadow long, even with this nice, new coat.

Still, after I ate a bit and got a drink, I headed to Princess Twilight's Castle, really expecting to find everypony else there.

I bowed to Princess Twilight, of course, but she mentioned I had missed everypony else. I just sighed.

Still, I asked Princess to send a message to Cel, well, Princess Celestia, asking if I could fly to Canterlot for a visit with them this morning.

Princess Twilight said quietly that I would freeze if I tried that. Then she smiled and added "Besides, there is an Air Coach already waiting outside to take you there."

I guessed I hadn't noticed that...

I hugged her again, and thanked her, then headed to the Air Coach.

It was too cold for me to fly, but the gear these powerful Pegasi were wearing probably kept them very warm.

I was soon in the Commons lawn in Canterlot, heading for the Audience Hall. Right as I walked in the door, the attendant closed it again to try to keep the warmth in. It was a cold day.

Still, Cel dropped everything, and we were quickly hugging tightly. She mentioned that she had maybe two hours of 'Princess duties' to attend to, then she would be free. She said Lu would probably be up by then as well.

I said that was fine, and that I would wander over to the Library, and come back later.

---

This was probably not the best day for me to go to the Library...

The books in Equestria are all printed with a back page filled with small squares. If the reader likes the book, the directions say to simply to put a check-mark in one of the squares. The Librarian (usually a Unicorn) could do this, or if the reader was a Unicorn, they could add the check-mark too.

I had read a lot of books in this Library, and this seemed to be a pretty effective approach.

The books that Summer and I have done about her life were picking up large 'X' marks... I had never seen this before in Equestria, but this did not seem like a happy gesture to me, I don't know. I was about to just write it off, and go on, when I realized that the account of PonyRos' takeover (Faded Memories)... Somepony had ripped that last page out, trampled it into a folded up mess on the floor, then they stuffed it back into the back of the book...

Honestly, I wasn't angry, I was just mystifed. Like I said, this was probably not the best day of my life for this... Still, I sat in the Library for a while, because I had nothing else to do. I tried to make sense of this... What had we... done... My thoughts just sort of rambled at this point...

Summer and I had both sensed a 'power tremor' among the more 'important' ponies in Equestria after we came back from the Past after raising our girls. Maybe some were jealous that overnight our relationship with these two amazing Princesses had changed so fundamentally.

From my reading, the general approach to dealing with Kings and Queens was to try to befriend 'royalty', to get as close to them as possible, to try to get whatever 'preferential treatment' you could wring out. From what little I knew, Canterlot society wasn't too much different...

And it must have blown some fuses that Princess Celestia spent so much time trying to help 'noponies' like Filia and Fiona (in the Present), or Shyna (in the Past), or the Apple family, etc.

Cel herself suspected... The concensus was that Cel and Lu, well Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, the rulers of Equestria, had 'popped up perfect', out of nowhere...

Well, I had no way of really gaging any of this. Besides Cel and Lu, we... I had no 'connections' in Canterlot. I honestly didn't know...

Well, we also didn't hesitate to describe evil leaders for the simple bullies they really are. I honestly didn't think that was the issue. The destruction of the realm just to stamp out what was good and right -- this seemed so clearly wrong. And this motive was often concealed by a mountain of lies. I can't see ponies objecting to exposing this...

We also carefully included quite a bit of 'physical' content, maybe it was that. But this was just us together, realizing that true friendship really needed to extend to every part of life, not just what was socially visible. Even thinking about this hurt now... But, I don't know...

Even the 'threshold of intimacy' discussion from Summer's Dream fell into this category. If we value true friendship (and even if not), nopony has the right to trample another pony like that. How could...

Bah, I don't know... Maybe it was just my name; maybe I should spell it different... Or, maybe I should just resign... I suspected that would make at least someponies in the Realm happy...

Again, this wasn't the best time for me to have this discussion with myself...

But, all in all, it really didn't matter... These large X's couldn't hurt me, not any more... Dark Melvain had seen to that. I had nothing left...

Still, if I could have, I would have at least cleaned the dust off of Summer's books on the 'new arrivals' table in the Library lobby...

And standing there, staring at her dust covered books, it hit me... No more chronicles... not any more... I wanted to lay on the floor on this very spot and cry for weeks now... I worked hard for a few minutes, and managed to shove that massive, additional pain away with the rest...

I had to leave the Library... I couldn't take this any more...

But I wandered out into the very center of the Commons lawn in front of the Audience hall. There was nopony there, so I said this, to myself, quietly...

"Well, Equestria, my Mare is dead, and I don't know if I will be 'recording' any more. From what I can tell, this may bring joy to someponies, although I am not sure why...

"But that may all be a moot point (moot means dead in some language or other), because the leadership of Equestria is so torn up, and maybe even compromized right now, and there is a very real, large 'looming threat', probably very near.

"So enjoy your pony lives for now, but some day very soon, you may wake up to a drastically more difficult Equestria, assuming you survive, and you will find yourselves asking 'what happened?' But it will be too late..."

I just stood there and listened, but heard no response. Like I said, this may not have been the best day for me to wander over to the Library...

---

Cel and Lu found me out there, standing in the middle of the Commons lawn. We were quickly crying and hugging tightly together. I love my girls... Am I allowed to say that?

Crying slowed some after a little while, and I asked my girls softly "Girls, should I stop doing Canterlot Recorder stuff?"

Both cried a lot after this question; that was probably a 'no', and I felt terrible that I had made them cry...

Still crying, Cel said "Please don't, dad... Most of Equestria never knows how close they came to oblivion until they read the official record that you wrote. And there's no way Lu or I could do it..."

And Lu quickly added this, quietly: "I don't see anypony standing in line to take your place... Some of those ponies, wouldn't dare even try to do what you have done..."

Well I had to apologize, and I almost collapsed at that point... "Girls, I'm sorry for making you cry. Even though I am hurting a lot, I had no right to make you..."

We just cried together and hugged for a while. I had been doing that a lot lately; hugging and crying...

Still, I deeply loved my girls... The fact of the matter was that we needed each other a lot right now... Library aside, I was glad I came here.

Soon, we moved into 'Princess Quarters' next to the Audience Hall, since it was a lot warmer inside.

We still hugged and wept together the rest of the afternoon. I cried some, whether too much or too little, I don't know.

But I do know... Holding that avalanche of searing pain back was getting harder by the day, and the mountain of pain was growing too... I think my girls knew that. Both told me they loved me a lot. This made it hard to... but I think I needed to hear it...

Well, I think I had at least succeeded in helping the ponies around me, as much as I could, to try to begin to cope with this nightmare. I didn't know how much longer I could keep doing that though...

And when I finally crashed...