The Chronicles of Summer Rain, Vol. 8 -- Dark Melvain

by shysage

Ch.19, Terrible Price / Needing Friendship to be Magic

That first night, I slept 'ok'. Well, I really slept a day and a half... I expected this; I was completely worn out.

I made a terrifying discovery when I woke up the next morning, however. The minute I remembered why I was alone, the entire avalanche started falling... It took the next hour, maybe, to work hard and shove everything back 'away' where it belonged... This whole process was just excruciating...

I could tell it was mid-morning, and it had probably taken a while for me to get everything propped back up, to where I could 'function'.

I had spent most of my life choking back pain, but this...

I got up slowly, and realized it was cold in our... this house...

It was a little warmer outside, but I immediately ran into a very broken Dawn and Camille, our... amazing neighbors... We cried together a while. Not much was said. Not much needed to be said... Nothing could be done...

And I could tell now, by looks I was getting from townsponies, that everypony probably knew Summer was gone...

I had to work really hard to shove the avalanche back away after that realization...

I made it to the meadow, and ate some and got a drink. I ran into a lot more memories that I had to stop... This was a constantly growing battle...

I didn't want to fly, because I thought that would just draw hurting friends. Then I scolded myself for that... We all needed each other right now...

I ended up on that little hill, and talked to true friend some. I didn't really know what to say, except that I reminded him that a lot of us were hurting and needed help. This thought reflected back to me pretty quickly, and I got up and headed to the Castle.

Princess Twilight was there, and we both looked like the unthinkable had happened, because it had.

I bowed, then we hugged.

We both asked at the same time how the other was doing. Our answers were both the same too, about as good as could be expected.

Still, I asked Princess if she thought Summer's death was the 'looming cloud'. She said quickly that she didn't think so. She felt it was still there, and still looming closer... This was very bad...

Princess updated me on our friends.

The Filia and Fiona Twins spent most of their time in their room. These two knew this was hard for everypony, but they weren't that close to Summer. But they were quickly bonding with Equestria pony Shyna.

The rest of the girls headed home to try to put their lives back together and move on.

Princess quietly volunteered that it might take a while...

She did mention that Fluttershy and Equestria pony Shyna seemed to be doing well. At least Summer's sacrifice had allowed for that much...

I think we both cried together for a few minutes after that. Again, I cried mostly because I knew this was hurting Princess...

I went home...

I changed into a people, put my sweatshirt on, and sat down, and turned the compy on, and let it start up.

For the longest time, I just sat there staring...

After a long while, I made a new folder, and started on a few chapters about my life falling apart before my very eyes.

I typed slow. I was trying to forget this. The chapters seemed to be pretty short, as a result. There was just not a lot to say. She was my life. She was gone. My life was so empty...

I told myself that if I got the bare details in, I could always come back later and expand it. I just didn't know when 'later' might be...

Anyway, I got a few chapters done, covering the details about the Beacon, getting Shyna, heading back to the Past... Then...

I went back and slowly proof-read what I had done. It read just like I felt... Emptied...

I saved everything, turned the compy off, changed back into a pony, and headed slowly to the meadow to eat and drink some.

I was soon back in my dark house.

For two hours maybe, I was on the couch staring into blackness. I couldn't think, or I'd quickly be thinking about...

After that, I went into that room...

I was so tired...

I fell asleep...

---

Well, if you want to call it that...

Memories about Summer were just utterly painful for me now... They were so painful, that, as soon as a dream unraveled into anything with Summer, I madly fought myself awake to try to shore up a mountain of teetering pain... I mean, I felt like I was drowning, and fighting towards the surface. It wasn't pleasant.

Doze, hurt, wake up, fight to push back the truth,

Start the cycle again...

I wouldn't call that sleep...

It took even longer the next morning to shove things back where they belonged so I could 'function'.

I didn't even make it out the door.

Fluttershy and Shyna came by for a visit. The three of us were quickly hugging and weeping softly together.

This was Equestria pony Shyna, from the Past. She didn't know Summer very well, but Shyna was alive because Summer was dead, and Shyna understood this. Shyna felt this... She was a Fluttershy...

Shyna did, however know Dark Melvain, and had suffered deeply at his hands. Summer and my actions had rescued her from that, and she was truly thankful.

The only 'Silver lining' from our nightmare was just this -- Shyna was safe, and safely in Fluttershy's loving care, where she belonged... An amazing life in the loving presence of a truly 'kindred spirit' -- this prospect awaited both Shynas now.

I just sighed...

Like I said a few times that first day... If Shyna had died, and Summer lived, Summer would not be able to live with herself. I realized that the way it worked out was the only way it could have...

It still hurt though...

After we had softly wept together, Fluttershy's crying changed abruptly, and maybe thirty seconds later...

"Shysage... You... You can't survive doing what... You can't just shove all that away like that..."

Fluttershy said this pretty loud, well for her... She was alarmed, and concerned...

I realized she had 'felt' the price I was paying just to be able to function...

I just shrugged, and said quietly "Sis, if I let the avalanche go, I will die... I don't know what else to do..."

I think Fluttershy knew, but I doubt the rest of our friends had any inkling of how completely interdependent Summer and I had become. It was absolutely amazing how we almost effortlessly cared for and helped each other; we both realized this was the pinnacle of true friendship...

But now...

Fluttershy calmed down, then said quietly "Well, that needs to be a temporarily thing... You will need to deal with it..."

I just sighed... How much crying would it take to bleed all this pain down... Years? I thought this, but didn't say anything...

The three of us hugged tightly again, then Fluttershy and her new 'sis' headed off.

I worked on surviving the day...

Well, today was pretty cold anyway.

The Weatherworks in Cloudsdale could substantially balance the weather most of the year. But Winter was Winter, and the system was shut down until Spring.

Well, it felt like they shut it down yesterday, because today it was COLD...

I wandered over to Rarity's Boutique to see about a coat.

'Rare' and I hugged for a few minutes and cried together some.

I said I didn't want to keep her; I knew she had a lot of work to do.

Still, she unexpectedly brought me a package with a coat in it, then she used her magic to drape it across my back. We hugged again briefly, then I headed off, and Rarity got back to work.

Once I got home, I rolled the package onto the floor, changed into a people, opened the package, then changed back into a pony.

The coat was beautiful... It was bright white... And Summer's Cutie Mark was placed on the coat right about where it would be over her thigh... I faintly remembered this from somewhere, though...

Anyway, I didn't need any reminders about Summer, but I quickly realized that this was a 'labor of love' from Rare, maybe her way of coping with her friend's passing...

I would wear it anyway... This coat really was warm, and made life a bit more tolerable. I promptly went back to the Boutique, wearing that coat, and hugged Rare again...

We just cried together a while more...

As the Sun went down, it got very cold, and I also realized that I needed to 'try' and sleep some... This would not be fun...

Doze, hurt, wake up, fight to push back the truth...

Start the cycle again...

I wouldn't call that sleep...

But I had to get used to it...

---

I slept terrible, of course...

And in the morning, it took a while to pack the truth far enough away so I could function...

It was cold, so I was glad for the coat...

But it was warmer outside today...

I ate and drank, left my coat on that little hill, and went for a short flying time.

Everypony else quickly joined us, er me... Princess Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Futtershy and Shyna... We didn't fly a long time, it was a little cold for that. And we just wept softly together as we flew.

We did land at the Castle and hugged with Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Filia and Fiona. We all just wept softly.

Somepony did start us saying what we usually say, and Princess said her part too.

It was just hard...

It wasn't the same...

But it had to be true... We needed it to be true...

I went back and got my coat from the little hill, and put it quickly on. It was cold again...

I didn't like cold...

I thought to myself "This is gonna' be a long winter..."

Cel and Lu came by maybe around noon, and we hugged and cried together for most of the afternoon. I really love my girls... This was nice, well as nice as could be...

I thought about asking them how they were doing, then realized this was a dumb question.

I told them both a few times that I loved them... This was true, and I guess this was helping them.

But I also think Lu was feeling what Fluttershy already had...

"Dad, you can't keep doing that..." she said quietly.

This was family, there were no secrets. "Girls, if I let any of this fall, I will die... I just don't know what else to do..." I said quietly.

We just cried together some more after that.

Like I said, I didn't have a problem crying for the pain I felt from those around me.

But I was scared to death of my own pain, and even more scared that it was growing.

At dinner time, the three of us walked to the Castle, to a waiting Air Coach.

Princess Twilight joined the three of us, and we all hugged together for, well, a while...

Then my girls left...

And it was dark, and cold...

It wasn't as cold on the Blue rug in that room...

I stared at the wall as long as I could, then drifted into my usual, fitful sleep...

---

I gave up on sleep pretty early, but didn't want to get up until it got a little warmer in that room. The Sun took care of that, maybe mid-morning.

I think the weather was laughing at me, it was warm again outside, and so I flew some.

I was again joined by the Pegasi in the group, and we flew quietly, and talked little. But I think we were just enjoying being together. And this carried over to hugging tightly with everypony else in front of the Castle for a little while. Maybe we were trying to find 'normal' again for all of us...

Reeling from searing pain, I think Friendship was being magic among us, a little anyway, but maybe that was enough.

Friends soon left to try and start their days.

Well, Fluttershy and Shyna stayed, and Princess Twilight spoke some.

"Shysage, Fluttershy let me know how you are dealing with Summer's..."

Well, we all just cried together a few minutes. Then Princess continued.

"We are all just concerned, that's all. But I also think some of the rest of us are having a great deal of difficulty..."

It was quiet a minute, then Princess finished her thought.

"I just don't know what anypony can do about it though..."

We just cried together some more.

But still, I think we were all being each other's friends together, more than we realized.

Princess wasn't done, though.

"Shysage, can you please take Fluttershy and Shyna to visit with their Twins tonight? And check in with the Equestria Girls, too for me, please..."

We just all cried together some more at this... It was clear Princess Twilight's concern spread across both sides of the Portal, especially now...

Of course, I told her that I would be glad to do that.

And this meant I wouldn't have to attempt to sleep tonight...