Tools: Rescue
As Aphelion scythed into the atmosphere of Planet Viceron, Clank glanced towards Ratchet. He'd tried to raise the point of having to destroy the Dimensionator, but Ratchet had simply cut him off, saying, "Not now." Clank was worried his friend was a bit too tempted by the potential the Dimensionator offered, and - despite his better judgement - had shared his concerns with Qwark when he'd passed along the request for the schematics of Zordoom prison.
"Mom? Dad? Sis?" Qwark called out from the communication screen. "Everything okay? Feels...a little chilly on your end."
"Everything's fine, Qwark," Ratchet replied. "Did you get the holographic schematics?"
"You already have them," Qwark corrected, pointing to where the 'exercise book' he'd given Clank sat. Clank called up the appropriate schematics from the data file. "But I've also taken the liberty of drawing up a plan for infiltrating the prison! Behold!" The screen shifted to Qwark's hand drawn imagery that the group had gotten used to back in Polaris when going after Nefarious. "Zordoom Prison, a dangerous dungeon of deadly denizens, death and destruction! A deadly den of devious desperados damaged by decades of d...uh..."
"Dietetic degeneration?" Twilight offered with a giggle. "Also, nice alliteration."
"Thanks!" Qwark replied as the images continued. "To infiltrate this fortified fortress of fear, our agents - codenamed 'Dead Meat' and 'Nerf Pone' - will make their way along the Grind Rail of Certain Death, traverse the Walkway of Tortured Souls, and ascend the Grav Ramp into the mouth of the Jolly Jackal! While I direct the operation from my Townhouse of Solitude, our agents will jump down the elevator shaft to the lair of Eternal Sorrow. It is here they will be confronted by an army of Tachyon Troopers, a battalion of embattled bandits, an entire school of Zombie Ninja Panda Bears!"
"You're making that last bit up!" Ratchet scolded as Twilight giggled.
"I wish," Qwark grunted. "Tachyon is weird, and that's me saying that! Good luck Dead Meat and Nerf Pone! May you not die glorious heroes' deaths!"
Clank rolled his eyes as Aphelion came in for landing. "Oh, for a time when this would all seem strange," he moaned theatrically.
"It's more fun this way!" Twilight countered, priming her weapons. "Besides, I've got a new combat gadget to test out!"
"Test?" Ratchet and Clank both asked, shocked.
"I felt like tweaking," Twilight replied. "You know that Mr. Zurkon gadget?"
"Yes?" Ratchet replied nervously.
Grinning widely, Twilight threw out a small ball that burst open. The floating robot was wearing a long flowing robe speckled with stars, a pointed hat adorned with bells, and a long white beard. Instead of a gun, his arm held a wooden staff. "Behold, Zurkon the Bearded!"
"Zurkon the Bearded is ready to fry!" the little robot proclaimed, sending a bolt of lightning from the tip of the staff into an enemy soldier. "And so are you."
Clank chuckled nervously. "You made a support bot capable of magic?"
"Experimental," Twilight replied. "It's the lining of the staff. I've found certain materials here in Polaris capable of channeling etheric energy, and I decided to see if a robot could be designed to utilize the energy in combat. Unfortunately, the refining process is a bit expensive-"
"Zurkon the Bearded has no need for bolts!" the floating robot proclaimed. "His currency is devastation! Zurkon the Bearded has unstoppable spells!"
"Not Locate City! Not Locate City!" Twilight called out in terror. Ratchet tilted his head in confusion as Zurkon the Bearded laughed and Clank shuddered.
The initial path into the Prison facility was rather straight forward, with only weak robotic foes that were readily blasted apart by Zurkon the Bearded. Twilight flew most of the way, while Ratchet made use of Helipods. Before long, they reached the grind rail.
Taking a look at it, Twilight backed away. "Even with the Magnegrind boots, my balance isn't so good on rails. I'll fly."
"Keep an eye out for dangers on the rail and in the air," Ratchet requested, leaping onto the rail.
As they rode the rails, they heard various announcements from the prison speakers. While Ratchet ignored most of them, one dragged all three to full attention. "Inmate #510D, Hardlight, Ace please report to the mess hall for KP."
"Ace Hardlight?" Ratchet gasped out, shocked.
"He's alive!" Twilight shouted eagerly. "We have to find him!"
Ratchet made a quick decision. "Twilight, have you got the prison schematics?"
"Yeah, right here on my nav unit," she replied.
"Then get to the Mess Hall and bust him out of here. We'll meet you back at Aphelion with Talwyn."
"Right," Twilight agreed. "I'll try to be discreet-"
"Why? We won't be," Ratchet interrupted. "Cut Zurkon off his Bearded leash!"
"Zurkon the Bearded will liberate Ace Hardlight in...at least one piece!" the floating robot agreed. Chuckling, Twilight peeled off to find the Mess Hall.
Twilight found her way to the wall of the Prison just outside the Mess Hall, making sure she was opposite the kitchen, where Ace would be for KP. "Alright," Twilight told Zurkon the Bearded. "I've loaded Ace Hardlight and Talwyn Apogee's genetic code into your scanners. Once I open the wall, blast anything that isn't them."
"Zurkon the Bearded is ready to destroy!" the robot replied.
Twilight hesitated. "You're...not going to ask why I have their genetic codes?"
"The only question Zurkon the Bearded has is this: how many squishies does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Umm-"
"FIREBALL! Both problems fixed!"
Twilight's hoof met her forehead rather firmly. Groaning, she charged up her magic and ripped the wall from its moorings. Zurkon the Bearded immediately began blasting away. "Ace!" she called out. "Ace Hardlight, are you here?" She marched into the Mess Hall as guards and inmates alike fled Fireballs, Chain Lightnings, and Cones of Frost.
"Twilight?" a familiar but young voice called out. The figure that stepped out of the kitchen looked like Ace...but much slimmer and younger than when Twilight saw him last. "What are you doing here?"
"Saving you!" Twilight replied. "What happened to you?"
"Long story, can we talk elsewhere?" Ace requested, grabbing a discarded blaster and taking shots at guards that were charging in.
"Hold onto me!" Twilight shouted. As soon as Ace had hold of her, she shouted, "Zurkon! Locate City!" She then teleported herself and Ace to Aphelion.
Zurkon the Bearded grinned widely.
When Twilight and Ace arrived at Aphelion, they witnessed a massive explosion - something on the scale of a small scale nuke - rip a good portion of Zordoom Prison apart. "...you play D&D?" Ace asked, surprised.
"...I dabble..." Twilight replied evasively.
"A bit more than dabble if you know about that," Ace joked.
"Speaking of knowing," Twilight pointed out, turning to him. "What happened to you? Last time I saw you, you were...were..." Tears beaded her eyes as she struggled to say it.
"Dead," Ace replied. "For the second time in Dreadzone."
"How did you survive?" Twilight demanded. "Why did you let me think you died? And...why do you look like...this?" She gestured to him.
"You know my hard light copies?" Ace asked. "Well, if I leave one behind when I go into battle, I can use it as an extra life."
"Quantumly entangled brain wave and life force patterns?" Twilight asked eagerly.
"I don't know the science," Ace countered. "All I know is it's unpleasant...but better than not having one available. And...well...I actually forgot about this one." He gestured to his body. "When I first discovered I could survive death like that, I put one of my copies in cold storage in an asteroid that wasn't in a fixed orbit. Figured if I was going to take advantage of my ability, it would be best to have a final backup. Course, that was about 30 years ago, so it slipped my mind. I...genuinely thought my death taking out Vox was going to be the real deal."
"Well, I'm glad it wasn't," Twilight replied intensely. "And look at you! You can't be far into your teens, even. You look practically my age!" Noticing the sudden blush on Ace's cheeks, she frowned. "Don't even think about it. My Dad would kill you, and I don't think you have another backup available."
"Nope," Ace replied. "And I won't be able to make another one for another 30 years, when I catch up to the age of my life force. That's the delay between returning to an old copy and being able to make new ones."
Twilight scratched her chin. "...we'll drop you off with a friend at the first chance so you'll be safe," she promised. "Don't want to risk losing you again."
Ace smiled softly. "Good to see you recovered from Dreadzone, too."
"So how'd you end up in Zordoom Prison?" Twilight asked.
"Tried to go back to hero work," Ace replied with a groan. "Tried to fight Tachyon, since the asteroid had wandered into Polaris. That's when I found out how long I'd have to wait to make another copy."
After a giggle from Twilight, the pair sat in silence as they waited for Ratchet to show. While they were waiting, however, Aphelion had an announcement. "Twilight, Qwark has just sent me the coordinates for Kerchu City, which he managed to get off Tachyon's personal computer."
"Good job, Qwark!" Twilight praised as Ratchet came into sight. "Hey Dad! Where's Talwyn?"
"She made her own way out after finding Cronk and Zephyr," Ratchet replied. "She'll meet up with us once it's safe. And who's your new boyfriend? I thought you were looking for Ace?"
"He's not my boyfriend!" Twilight snapped angrily. "This is Ace!"
"Long story," Ace stated in response to Ratchet's expression.
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You forgot the announcement for Slim Cognito!
He woke up to Bass Odyssey, didn't he?
6644582
Different asteroid.
Also, I skipped the Slim Cognito one intentionally. Make of that what you will.
... Huh... So... First of all, let me flash my D&D credentials by saying, LOCATE CITY!? *Reflex save!* Also, did you initially plan to bring back Ace Hardlight? Or will we get to find out that he's back because it might be hilarious for the gang to find out his real name is Dexter?
6644591
Yes, I always intended to bring him back.
another wonderful update!
6644601
Alright, but if we get any Space Ace jokes of the Don Bluth variety, I'm laughing!
6644586 You sure?
It'd make for a good moment laugh in the Time arc.
6644586
Speaking of that, have you even referenced Slim after Arsenal?
I'm not sure if he even shows up in any of the other games, though there's a vendor that doesn't speak that's similar to him in Size Matters.
At least, I think he doesn't speak. It has been awhile since I played Size Matters. I don't play my ps2 that much any more, unless I get on a FFX-2 binge.
Oh Twilight... why on earth did you think it would be a good idea to take Trixie, Richard the Necromancer, and Starswirl's personalities and abilities and swirl them together into a Blizzard of Illeistic Destruction?
I suppose (in the words of a guy from a movie everyone except me abhorred) "It's so crazy... it just might work".
6644586 I like this.
IDEA!
BON BON WITH MEN IN BLACK!
There's a TV show for it apparently.
6644693 YES!! Tatsuruo, please do this! PLEASE!!!
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
Locate City? Could you explain that?
6644693
Stop. Suggesting. Lyra. And. Bon Bon.
I've stated that they don't meet my criteria for ponies to use.
6644719 Oh fine. Can you send me the criteria which you use to use ponies?
6644714 He said no. BOllocks.
6644721
1. Have a strong connection to one of the main characters, or is a main character.
2. Has an established personality supported by appearances in more than one episode.
3. Is based in Ponyville.
4. I like them. (As in they are the sort of character I will go looking for stories of, or will enjoy seeing them in stories.)
Must meet three of the four. Lyra and Bon Bon, unfortunately, fail on 2 and 4.
I have just looked up the "Locate City Nuke". Both variants. Nevermind pissing off the DM. My old DM would have given that to a Big Bad just for kicks! (Or his "Dragon". Or one of several reusable "Suicide Bombers".) Granted, he'd have made sure the party would have survived first, but mass genocide on that scale is a good way to show the party that "This is not a nice person".
LOL i knew it
6644729
Hmmm...by your Criteria, Is Mayor Mare an option. Not that serious a question, I'm just curious where she would end up,
6644719 Hmm... What about Scootaloo? I haven't seen anything of her in your works.
6644797
Technically, yes, but I won't be using her.
6644799
The CMC will be raised by Uncle. Story will be called "Three More Things".
Also, if you look at my stories from before the Adopted Displaced fics, you'll see several fics starring Scootaloo.
6644828 I see.
6644828
...
I have two questions...
WHEN? And HOW CAN I HELP GET IT OUT FASTER?
Keep up the great work. deus tecum.
6644729 How about... The Flower Trio? Lily, Daisy, and Rose? They've had some screen time more than once...
... Really, the based on Ponyville thing kinda make it very limited lol
6644966
Fail on one and four.
And that's why the character only has to meet three.
When I read about Zurkon the bearded, there was only a thing in my head.
I'll have to ask my gaming group about Locate City, because I have no idea where that came from.
6644729
So the stories for Chrysalis, Moony, Cadence, and Shining Armor are all something completely different?Edit: Nevermind, just saw this comment: 6644980
And while we're on the subject, I'm 89% sure you already have plans for Big Macintosh, but can't for the life of me think of what they might be. Any hints?
6644717 In Dungeons and Dragons, there is a Divination spell called Locate City.
It does exactly what it says on the tin, detecting the exact location of any cities inside a radius of miles per character level.
Through shenanigans and munchkinry and theoretical bullshit and loophole abuse, players found a combination of abilities that apply to spells that, when applied in the correct order, grant the spell Locate City a small amount of damage. Which you then combine with several other feats to immediately blast everything living inside the radius to the nearest edge in a single second. (Again, the spell's radius is determined in a function of 10 miles per character level.) Further shenanigans changed the amount of damage dealt as well.
The downside, of course, is that the locate city spell is an emanation centered on the caster; that is to say, half the debris from the Locate City Bomb will hit you, unless you have an emergency teleport or other way to escape.
But yeah. At least 100 mile blast radius in which everything living is launched at close to the speed of light to the edge.
Reflex save (a dice roll with a bonus based on dexterity) negates it.
Of course, this isn't D&D, and the loophole abuse isn't needed, nor does the damage have a ceiling.
Could be worse, though.
This makes me think of a scene in Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven.
6645051 last time I read the necessary metamagic, it seemed to be just an unusual combination, but no loopholes. Just something your DM has to say no.
QWAAAAARK!
Oh, and Ace is back! And…he and Twilight aren't gonna be a thing, are they?
6644828
I figured as much, I was just curious as to where she would end up if you did.
6645431 more than likely it'll either be another, "he's like a brother to me" thing or, if interest is shown, then we'll see Ratchet and lots of guns being cleaned during lots of talks.
6645472 What a family
bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
First Thoughts:
..... You wouldn't....
Few! You didn't. Good!
Second Thoughts:
.... I love that. XD I love that in a way I don't think I can quiet put into words. Besides that- the Zurkon Gadget is probably my most beloved and useful of all the Gadgets.
Third Thoughts:
..... You would make that a joke, and tease us further. XD But- nah. I didn't really see Ace as like- a date-able character for Twilight in this story. I saw him as her knight in Shinning Armor (Pun intended-) but I didn't, and kinda don't see him as 'the guy' for her in this universe.... Plus.... Ehhh... Nah- anything else I add to this will seem like me being overprotective of
the waifuTwilight.Final Thoughts:
All in all- twas a good chapter- if not a bit too short to actually be worthy of a full Critiquing. :P That's my only complaint though.
(Fun Fact!)
The Voice Actor for Ace Hardlight, André Sogliuzzo, was also the Voice of King Bumi, and Hakoda (Sakka and Katara's Father), along with additional voices in the show "Avatar: The Last Airbender."
He was also well known for his rolls in:
The Polar Express (Both Train Conductor's)
Stuart Little
Whatever Happened to.... Robot Jones?
Invader Zim
Rocket Power (Buick, and Riptide)
Samurai Jack
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (The Clone Troopers)
The Gorilla from Spongebob Squarepants
Wolverine and the X-Men- Arclight
Open Season 3- McSquizzy (The Angry Scottish Squirrel)
Transformer, Revenge of the Fallen (Sideswipe)
And a whole Voice Acting List that could match Tara Strong's in length.
... Wait a second... You don't mean...
It is! Dear Luna, Twilight with the tech of R&C at her hooves is scarry enough, but with the power of the Find City Bomb at her beck and call... That's just terrifying.
Locate city reminds Us of Ulquiorra Cifer's attack Lanza del Relampago
6644980 what about Luna with Jim Raynor, Zaratul, or Kerrigan, or Celestia with Artanis (all Starcraft characters)
6644729 Bollocks. I would ask why Vinyl and Octavia, but they have established personalities.
So Starlight Glimmer with who?
I hear Locate City and think of Lilo and Stitch. Namely Stitch's programming to destroy large cities.
6645977
Starlight fails on 3 and 4.
6646117 Oh? You don't like her?
6646290
Nope. Not at all.
is it sad that I thought of Zurkron the bearded to have the same voice as the psychotic toaster in the sink of fallout new vegas
6646383 Why?
Oh and UNDERTALE CROSSOVER! That should work right?
6646594
I just don't like her.
And I have an idea for an Undertale Crossover, non PWNY.
6645611 You mean 'Phew' (an exclamation of breath in relief), not 'Few' (a small number) and 'quite' instead of 'quiet'.
6645268 The loophole abuse comes in the fact that the Locate City spell isn't actually a damaging spell, and technically can't be given an energy type. This disables the entire start of the chain in the first place, except for loose wording.
It's the kind of shenanigans that Theoretical Optimizers adore, but comes apart if you look too closely at it.
6646600 Aww... Oh well.