The trip wound up only taking two and a half minutes, though a very stressful time at that, mostly because everyone had to stay as quiet as possible and breathe shallowly to conserve the shared oxygen in the module. The only light point in the journey was when they passed by Aphelion, who flashed them an encouraging message with well wishes from her passengers.
The lunar surface didn't seem all that different from the planetary surface at first, allowing the group to easily make their way forward to a nearby spire, clambering their way upward. As they did so, more message from Dr. Croid berated 'Nevo' for acting first as a thief and then as an assassin for 'those things'. The group chose to ignore these statements, as it only added evidence to support theories they'd already developed.
The terrain itself was brown and rocky, with little to no signs of biological life as they progressed, not even the slightest hint of a growing green. The first new hostile creature they encountered was a massive centipede like creature, colored blood red, its body segments connected by bio-energy tethers. Nefarious readily identified it as a Craterpede, a heavily armored burrowing scavenger that lived in low atmosphere, rocky terrains like moons and asteroids. "Its weakpoint is its tail," Nefarious explained. A quick salvo proved this accurate, and the attacking creature was destroyed, opening an energy field that had blocked the path forward.
The next new hostile was a frog-like being with eyestalks that lived in acid pools. Alister was able to identify it as a Lurker, and only dangerous from its ability to spit spheres of acid. This, too, proved very little of an obstacle to the group of four.
Eventually, they reached an actual building guarded by Minion bots, and they were forced to fight their way in. "Here's hoping he'll actually listen to us after we've blasted our way into his stronghold," Twilight murmured. "I mean, it'd be far too easy for him to believe that we're working for Nevo, or whoever Nevo's working for, after all this."
"Just be your usual adorable self!" Qwark suggested. "Maybe he'll think you're a highly evolved 'Creature' here to save him and Nevo and set right what's gone wrong here."
Nefarious paused his blasting as he actually thought about those words. "...Qwark, given everything I know of Twilight's history and capabilities, I'm completely stunned that you would suggest that. It's an actually reasonable, logical theory as far as Twilight's origins, or at least as reasonable or logical as any that's been come up with so far, especially with how she reached Ratchet. How in the world did you come up with it?"
"I fell out of a tree," Qwark offered as though it explained everything.(1)
"That doesn't even make sense!" Nefarious roared in frustration, stomping his feet and flailing his arms.
"Wow," Qwark murmured. "That's a lot more entertaining to watch in person."
"QWAAAAA-" Nefarious started to scream, only for him to error. Once again, an audio clip from a TV show started to play, though not a soap this time. A voice that - by accent - seemed descended from Eastern Europe of Old Earth shouted out, "Curse you Perry the Platypus!"
"My turn! My turn!" Alister shouted out, rushing to Nefarious' side and clocking him in the head with his wrench-spear.
"-AAAAR-ow, my head!" Nefarious concluded, rubbing at his dome.
Qwark and Twilight shot Alister an amused glance.
Alister shrugged his shoulders. "What? I need my catharsis and schadenfreude somehow."
Twilight chuckled, rolling her eyes as she turned to lead the way forward.
With the defending robots defeated, a new Gadget was revealed. This proved to be giant glass-like shields - shaped not unlike riot shields - called 'Reflectors'. The primary use of these gadgets appeared to be blocking continuous laser fire - such as from ion turrets - that enabled them to make their way past otherwise uncrossable paths. After seeing how limited it was, Twilight sighed sadly. "I miss my Refractor Armor," she pouted.
Deciding not to let regrets keep her down, she moved with the group forward, getting past the obstacles arranged to stop them from reaching the actual facility, which was much farther away than the building they'd encountered. Eventually, they reached what looked like the entrance to a massive silo, which they believed to actually be related to the facility they were searching for.
Four capsules with green spheres inside them surrounded the silo, and a green laser beam shot across the silo on a regular basis. Experimentation revealed that using the Reflector on the laser deflected it, causing it to shatter the capsules. When all four were shattered, the silo opened to reveal an elevator.
"Think this is they way in?" Qwark asked curiously.
"I dunno," Alister murmured. "It seems a bit too lightly defended if that's the case. It feels like it might be a trap."
"Well, if I were this Croid character, it would be," Nefarious began. "The obvious entrance like this would lead down into a death trap meant to catch those coming after me, and the actual safe entrance would be inside a sewage pipe. Only way to ensure no one gets in who isn't supposed to."
"Except that they always do anyway," Twilight teased playfully.
"Well the rules of good villain base designs never accounted for someone who could take the building apart from 50 miles away, let alone what you can do from up close, Twilight!" Nefarious countered. "However, I fully intend to adjust for that! Just...as soon as I figure out how."
"Well, if this is a trap, I think we should spring it," Qwark explained.
"Are you nuts?" Nefarious demanded.
"Think about it this way," Qwark explained. "Croid's a scientist, like you. He's expecting to be hunted by another scientist, who would suspect a trap here, or by bots, who would be focused on that building back there." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "So if we just walk in, the trap won't be designed for our actions, and we should be fine."
Nefarious thought about that for a time. "...well, can't say I fault that logic," he grumbled at last, the group stepping onto the elevator. As long as it's sprung within six minutes, he thought to himself.
Once they were all on the elevator platform, it dropped out from under them, dropping them into what seemed like a bottomless pit. "Jetpacks!" Twilight screamed out as she spread her wings. Thankfully, everyone reacted quickly, and they began slowly descending.
"Clever trap," Nefarious murmured. "Not what any of us were expecting. I want to meet this Croid now...pickle his brain."
"You mean...pick his brain, right?" Twilight asked nervously.
Nefarious blinked. "Oh...right. Forgot I'm a hero this time around...somehow. Pickling brains isn't socially acceptable, is it?"
"No, not really," Alister chided as the group descended past waves of ion turrets.
"I have so much to learn," Nefarious murmured softly.
"I was there not so long ago myself!" Qwark proclaimed proudly. "Trust me, if I can master Friendship, you certainly can!"
"Well of course!" Nefarious countered. "Not sure I want to learn this 'Friendship', but..."
"Does that mean you're my Friendship student?" Twilight asked eagerly, the concept appealing to her immensely for some reason.
Nefarious smiled almost beatifically as they touched down. "Teach me, sempai?" he pleaded.
Alister and Qwark facepalmed as Twilight giggled.
(1) Qwark here is referring incorrectly to the Japanese phrase that, roughly translated, states, "Even monkeys fall from trees", which is used to express that even an expert in something might screw up completely every now and then. ...of course, if one considers his expertise to be stupidity...
For some reason it was this what got me rolling on the floor laughing.
Well... he did think he was related to a monkey at one point.
(Vegeta voice) "Your culture is so confusing..."
It's weakpoint is its tail
1. Its.
Wait did they miss a part for the Ryno? Cause the final battle seems to be coming up.
When I read Lurker, my first reaction was to jump out of the water. >> Curse you Pavlov.
That Phineas and Ferb reference
7506690 I just love that kinda logic every now and again.
Almost as funny as culture shock.
So if you shoot it in the middle of its body does it split into two like the classic Centipede???
Very nice chapter, and I love Qwaark's plan to get Croid to listen to them. I can totally see him listing all of Twilight's unique attributes and how they might have come about via evolution.
That... Is pure gold. And another reason that this chapter is awesome!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz should TOTALLY get a PWNY-verse story. Maybe a nice little jaunt through the twists and turns of his backstory alongside an infantile Discord? We could get a real reason and source for a lot of the wacky things that are possible in the canon of Phineas and Ferb! Not to mention a chance to explore some headcanon territory in regards to who Phineas's Dad is! My theory: Roger.
7506652 Me too! Oh hey, Tats! You know what might be funny in the future?
"Nefarious Evil Incor-por-at-eeeeeeeeeed!"
7507301 Discord's already got a story as the son of Sheogorath.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
7508220 Okay, that's nice, but I don't remember reading that Tats' had a plan for a Discord PWNY-verse story yet, hence my suggestion.
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, though.
I just like the idea of a little Heinz befriending a little Discord. He who was forced to endure hardship upon hardship, including but not limited to being a statue for his family home after their Gnome was repossessed, meeting someone the universe finds just as ugly as he is. Together they would strive to find something to enjoy in the constantly demoralizing world that is dreary ol' Drusselstein.
7506652 if you havent seen phineas and ferb your childhood isnt complete
Turn those two letters around. I checked and they were 'eu' instead of 'ue'.
I believe that you mean "senpai" it's an n not an m
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It's a play on words here.
'Senpai' would be used to refer to an older classmate who, thus, can teach things. Whereas 'sempai' refers to a love interest.
Senpai*
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Look down one comment on this chapter, where that very correction has already been refuted.
LOL