Tools: Bad Google
Ratchet, Clank, and Twilight stood together on the roof of their home, working on a new experimental hover bike together. It had been a couple of years since they'd moved into Qwark's old bachelor pad, now their family home. Twilight was now 14 years old, and was as tall as Ratchet if she stood on her hind legs, coming up to just below his shoulders when on all fours. While their life together was quite happy, her main regret was that Sasha's work as Galactic President kept her from visiting as often as she would have liked, meaning that nothing really big had happened yet between her and Ratchet. Ratchet didn't seem to mind, since they talked often, he was frequently consulted on any number of things, and he and Sasha often sought out 'alone time' when she was over to visit.(1) However, both knew they weren't at a point in their lives for a permanent commitment.
Clank began going down the checklist for the bike. "Fuel lines?" he asked.
Twilight did a quick scan of the internals. "Check."
"Horizontal stabilizers?"
"Check," Ratchet confirmed after examining the bike's wings.
"Ion thrusters?" Clank inquired.
Twilight's attention shifted as she felt a change in the breeze. "Tail wind..." she breathed eagerly.
"If we timed it right," Ratchet added, "we could ride the slipstream of the grav-train past the c-grid traffic-"
"-launch the mag-grappler onto that pedway overpass-" Twilight added eagerly.
"-and slingshot right up to-"
"Ion. Thrusters," Clank interrupted Ratchet firmly, catching both their attentions. As he saw them both chuckling nervously, he shook his head. "Last I checked, Ratchet, you were the Father of this little family. Qwark's the overgrown manchild."
"The thrusters are fine, Clank," Ratchet reassured, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment as Twilight giggled. "See?" He quickly switched them on, only for them to start to burn out.
"I got it!" Twilight said happily, racing around to the back of the bike, using her magic to manipulate the internals. "Probably just a fused ion duct or something-"
Clank's data tablet immediately began blaring the emergency signal. "Speaking of the overgrown manchild," Clank commented, letting the tablet float up to display the message.
"Mom, Dad, there's a situation at the Planetary Defense Center," Qwark explained quickly. "It's...not too bad. I...I could probably take on all...thousand...or so...heavily armed robotic commandos that are invading the planet, but...well, I wouldn't want to hog all the fun, right? And...well, I figure a flanking maneuver or two might be useful-" Letting out a quick scream, he raised the energy shield on his left arm to block a laser blast. Abandoning all signs of bravado, he screamed out, "HEEEEEELLLLP!!!!!" before drawing his blaster with his right hand and returning fire. The signal cut out.
Twilight tilted her head. "...I'm not sure if he's better or worse than when we first met him," she murmured.
"It's definitely an improvement in some areas," Clank muttered.
"Well, sounds like he needs some backup!" Ratchet pointed out, pushing the bike to the edge of the roof. "Let's go before we lose the tailwind."
"Still...heavily armed robotic commandos?" Clank pointed out.
"When aren't they heavily armed?" Ratchet asked.
"After we're through with them?" Twilight offered.
Laughing, Ratchet started the engines.
"Are you both certain this is functioning properly?" Clank asked.
Twilight grinned madly as she seized the main throttle. "I have no idea!" she shouted as she threw the lever.
The bike jumped off the edge of the roof...and promptly began to plummet.
"...huh, guess not," Twilight commented calmly as Ratchet and Clank began to scream.
Some careful maneuvering, an overcharged auxiliary thruster, some crazed stunts, and a badly placed blimp later, the trio pushed themselves out of the pile of rubble that had once been the bike. Thanks to the safety features Twilight had installed, none of the passengers were damaged. "Guess we're walking," Ratchet offered pleasantly.
"We can try out the new nav units!" Twilight offered eagerly.
Clank couldn't help but smile, pleased to see that Twilight had, at long last, recovered her irrepressible optimism. It was good to know that the actions of Vox and Otto had not broken her, and that at long last she was back to her old self...if rather clingy.
"What are our weapons like?" Ratchet asked. "Did we remember our arsenals?"
Twilight blinked. "Actually...we've only got a couple of the new line up," she admitted. "The ones that can be upgraded with Raritanium, in addition to leveling them up through use. But don't worry. I'll be able to build something to summon all our old weapons if I get a hold of the right parts."
"Well, make sure your Combuster and Fusion Grenade launcher is prepped," Ratchet ordered. "We're going in."
In addition to ordinary robots, there appeared to be strange fish-like aliens in domes controlling robotic bodies. As all appeared hostile, Ratchet and Twilight tore through them without concern. However, Twilight kept her ears open, and heard that they were looking for 'the Lombax', and were under orders to 'bring his head back to the Emperor'. Idly, she wondered if this might have something to do with what Angela Cross had told her back when she'd parted ways from Ratchet.
The trio made their way through the city with relative ease. Even without the majority of their arsenal, they were simply too experienced to be taken down easily, and the small groups they encountered were no match for them. Where their weapons weren't enough, Twilight's magic provided the same assistance it did back in their first adventure, and Twilight's flight made things even easier.
The first real obstacle they encountered was when they had to race across the Sky Bridge as it collapsed underneath them, though Ratchet was the only one who had to run. Clank was on Ratchet's back, and Twilight took to the sky as soon as the footing became unstable. Ratchet was light enough on his feet to easily outrun the collapse, even with robots on the bridge trying to kill him.
Grinding along the grav train rails proved slightly more problematic, since the trains were still using them. "Whoever's in charge of managing traffic needs to be fired," Ratchet grumbled as he leapt back and forth between the rails to dodge yet more oncoming trains.
As they approached the Planetary Defense Center, the trio was forced to free fall down to it from above, through rush hour traffic. As they dove, Ratchet and Clank noticed Twilight's ecstatic expression as she deliberately cut close to several vehicles, whooping it up as she barely evaded harm. "When did she turn into a thrill seeker?" Ratchet asked curiously.
"Probably while fighting Nefarious," Clank mused.
"Wonder whatever happened to him," Ratchet posited idly as they landed safely.
Unfortunately, Qwark wasn't presently in the Planetary Defense Center, and the trio had to immediately withdraw when it became apparent that, yes, Ratchet was the invaders primary target. As they fled down more grind rails, they eventually came under fire by a large warship. Reaching the end of the rails, they found themselves cornered by the warship and an army of robotic commandos.
The warship came to a halt, and a mechanical walker carried out a tiny figure with a large head, dressed all in red, on a throne. "Behold!" he proclaimed wickedly. "The last Lombax in the universe! ...truly a pathetic specimen of the race, I'm afraid...so weak."
"And you are?" Ratchet asked.
The creature stood up on tiny, spindly legs, raising a strangely configured scepter. "Emperor Percival Tachyon, Crown Prince of the Cragmites, conqueror of space and time, and - pending the obliteration of a few insubordinate species - Ruler of the Universe!"
"So why are you after my Daddy?" Twilight asked.
"I have sworn my vengeance against the Lombaxes for what they did to my once noble race!" Tachyon proclaimed. "I will hunt down and exterminate every last Lombax in the cosmos...and annihilate them!"
"How come it took you so long to find Daddy, then?" Twilight asked, all eyes on her as Ratchet and Clank began to sneak around the Emperor towards his warship. "I mean, Daddy and I have been in the news for years."
"That's odd," Percival commented, tapping a few keys on his wrist unit. "He only appeared within my search parameters just last month."
Twilight hopped up onto the throne, examining the screen. "...why is the search parameters locked onto 'Lombaxes' or 'Lombax invention'?"
"Because that's the only way I'd know I would only get current activity, rather than constant barrages of how this, that, or the other thing is related to Lombax tech!" the Cragmite barked out.
"You mean...it wasn't Daddy saving the galaxy five times that brought you to him," Twilight began. "Or his 'whirlwind romance' with the Galactic President, or even his adoption of another Galactic superhero...it was his invention of the 'Thunderpants'? The electrified undergarments?"
"Umm...yes?" Percival offered, feeling like he was being scolded somehow.
Twilight stared at him flat eyed. "...I'm going to enjoy rearranging your digestive tract when the time comes," she stated bluntly before teleporting into the warship, which promptly took off as Ratchet and Clank had gained control of it while she'd kept them all distracted.
(1) Out of consideration for Twilight's nose, one of the bedrooms had been specifically set aside for Ratchet and Sasha's "alone time", and Twilight kept her distance from it.
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Wow... That escalated quickly.
Let's go practice Medicine...
is Thunderpants the 'companion' to Stunderwear?
6499320
Alternatively, a misremembered invention name.
FINALLY! We've reached the Ratchet and Clank games that I've played
I wonder how Twilight will react to meeting Talwyn? Both the voice and possible love interest.
i can't wait until you get to the other 2 Ratchet and clank games i played other that Arsenal. which are a crack in time and all 4 one
Pfffheeeeeeeeeee, That a decent explanation for why it took him so long to come after Ratchet.
6499312
I mean, that got out of hoof REALLY fast.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6499391
6499312
Why? She already knows this is the guy who's the reason Angela couldn't stay with Ratchet, is tearing her life apart again, and is the obvious villain of this adventure. She knows what's going to happen to him at the end.
6499312 I would be that way too if one of my family was threatened over a pair of electrified pants.
Electrified pants.
Cooked hot dogs as soon as you put them on.
Innuendo intended.
Although she respects those that at least try to be heroes *cough* Qwark *cough*, Twilight is CLEARLY not above removing the rest of the idiots from their respective gene-pools *cough* every villain in these games ever *cough*.
... Honestly, I can't blame Twilight deciding to go with rearranging some ones intestines this time. Ratchet has saved the universe five times, while running for parent of the year, adopted Qwark, and it's the sequel to stunderwear that gets Tachyon to show up. He is supposedly a brilliant inventor on his own, yet he has such narrow search terms that it took him about ten years, probably less, to hunt down a public hero hailed as a good guy on a few dozen planets. No comment on him being beaten black and blue, then to death, because Twilight is around.
6499469
Well, now we know the reason why Tachyon didn't show up earlier (ASIDE from the writers)
And GOSH Twi, jumping straight to slasher mode so fast?
Yaay, you keep Qwark the way I like him, coward AND charismatic. Thank you.
Keep the good work, this fanfiction finally reach one of my favorite games in the saga.
That was so hilarious
6499312 Beware the nice ones
That part kinda made me think of Abridged Goku to Cell
"You're gonna die..."
Ratchet: "What are you looking up, Twilight?"
Twilight: "Cragmites"
Clank: "Ah. To know the enemy."
Twilight: "Well... that, and how to properly cook one."
Ratchet: "Woah now, I know you aren't an obligate herbivore, but I thought I raised you better than to eat other sentient species."
Twilight: "Duh - I was planning on beating him stupid first."
Ratchet: "I guess I can't argue with that logic."
Clank: "I protest!"
Twilight: "Why? It's not like we aren't probably going to have to kill him anyway?"
Clank: "No, not that. I protest that anything about this argument is logical!"
6499693
You never cease to amuse.
Oh Tachy, you done goofed
*squeak*
6499784
Which NC video is that clip from?
QWAAAAARK!
Clank is 'Mom,' right?
Wait, why didn't Twilight just kill him then?
6499863
Yes, Clank is Mom.
And because it wasn't time yet, she didn't know enough about him yet to know how, and she didn't have enough of her arsenal to take on him and his army at the same time.
6499800
I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!
6499312 Art thou serious? We find that a mild escalation at most
This can only end in pain for Percy. I look forward to it.
6499455
Well, yes.
But... threats of balloon-animal-intestines... *inarticulate slightly horrified stuttering.*
6500216
Exactly. She phrased her threat in such a way specifically to fill Tachyon with confusion and terror.
...I was this close to having Tachyon quote Imperfect Cell after that line. (TFS version)
6499629 Asking for help when your getting overrun is not being a Coward, it is Qwark being smart.
6499693 HAHA! HE LIVES!
6499930
She couldn't have zapped him with magic?
6499455
The reason I said what I said is that, while Twilight may have had a hoof in all of the Big Bads demises, she has yet to be the direct cause of death for any of them. In this chapter she basically states, "Yeeaaah... you're going to die... in a very slow and painful way..." I guess it just seems jarring to me.
6499589 Indeed. Cooked hot dogs are painful.
Woah... nice threat Twilight!
Yeah... not to impressed with this villain, he couldn't get a hit on his search engine after 5 years of adventures???? LAME!!!!
6500474
She doesn't know enough about his species to know if it would work...and what would it do to her ability to intimidate if it didn't?
6500562
But she only said that specifically to intimidate him.
6499693 GENIUS!
And here we goo into one of my favorite games in the series.
6500240 hey tats. Wen they get to Sargasso Twilight or Ratchet shuld note that the place is perfect to get mutch rareitanium or uppgrafe weapons of use. Seriusly it is a grinders dream.
I'm torn.
On the one hand, I so wanna read these stories, as this is my top favorite of all of Tatsurou's Displaced Adoption fics.
The one with Samus and Spike is only ahead of it because Metroid has been out longer than Ratchet and Clank.
On the other hand, I have only played up to Size Matters, so these are going to have massive spoilers.
Augh!
Oh well; Charge!!
Twilight is best Medic.
6500687 "here here free raritanium for everyone, just grind it out and your fine"
6500996 yep.
Geez Twilight. DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!
Also cannot WAIT to see how the smuggler reacts to Twilight. Is she still as absolutely adorbs as before?
6500240 And you didn't do that, WHY?!
hahahaha honestly I dont know why anyone else didnt see this...Twi's probably PMSing she is 14 now. Another great chapter though Tatsurou keep up the good work /)
How does he plan on doing both?
Twilight's back!
And it was the invention of Stunderwear that heralded the end of an empire.
6501697 By hunting them down and exterminating them individually, he will soon succeed in annihilating their species entirely.
6500920 How do you think I feel? I've been keeping just ahead of the dude in his writing! XD Playing just days ahead of his chapters. *snicker*