The Sparkle in his Eye

by Tatsurou

Confusing Situations

Twilight stirred slowly from a very comfortable nap. The Galactic Grand Prix had ended a week prior, the entire event a huge success. Not only had the rivalry between Qwark and Nefarious meant major ratings, but between sponsors, investors, merchandise, and broadcast rights, the Universal Government had turned a massive profit even after the huge bolt prize that had been awarded to Nefarious for his first place victory. On top of that, in what Twilight personally considered an even greater success, it had provided plenty of opportunity for her and Nefarious to engage in more normal date/courtship activities. Movies, amusement parks, alfresco dining...it had felt wonderful. The only drawback had been the amount of media attention it had drawn...but surprisingly, Nefarious had dealt with that quite readily. She chuckled softly as she remembered back to that event...

---

Twilight stared somewhat crosseyed at the ambush reporter that had caught her all unawares to badger her with questions about her relationship with Nefarious. She'd managed to field some of the questions, but others she had trouble understanding. But the one that caught her off guard was when the reporter had asked about 'how far they had gone'.

That had been when Nefarious had leaned in. "Tell me something. What demographic is Twilight Sparkle most popular with?"

The reporter had blinked in surprise, but readily answered. "12 year old or younger boys and girl, and the parents thereof. She's a huge inspiration story for children, and parents love holding her up as a role model."

Nefarious nodded. "And what qualities - other than being adorable, brilliant, and heroic - is she known for the most?"

The reporter listed them off readily. "Her kindness, generosity, loyalty, honesty, and sense of humor." For some reason, hearing those qualities listed together always gave her a sense that she had forgotten something of great importance.

"Let's focus on honesty," Nefarious suggested. "That would seem to suggest that she would answer questions from reporters to the best of her ability, yes? With as much detail as possible, for complete answers?"

"That's right," the reporter confirmed, looking eager.

"And she will," Nefarious confirmed. "If you ask again about what goes on between two super geniuses capable of warping the very fabric of reality and rewriting the laws of physics for kicks and giggles what we get up to together in the bedroom, we will both happily answer in complete detail, even give you a play-by-play. But before you ask, I have something to ask you." He leaned over the reporter, who now looked pale. "Do you want your network to be the one known for destroying childhood?"

---

Twilight giggled wickedly as she finished mentally replaying the scene. The interview had never been published, and no reporter had ever asked about their bedroom activities since. Admittedly, that had confused Twilight to a certain extent, as she and Nefarious had never actually been in a bedroom together. She assumed the confusion was the result of her literal mindset.

As she opened her eyes, however, she frowned. She quickly realized that she was not in her bedroom. The walls of the room she was in were all solid stone, with a few manacles here and there making it look like a cell. However, the door was wood rather than stone, metal, or forcefield, and the floor was covered with plush throw rugs. The bed of pillows she was at rest in was practically a nest, large enough for three creatures her size and stacked high enough with comfortable cushions she could sink if she wasn't careful. The figure standing in front of her gave her some clue as to the situation. "Mervin, where are-"

"Dr. Nefarious right now," he corrected quickly but diffidently. "After all, I just kidnapped you."

Twilight blinked in confusion as she sat up. "...why?" she asked, a little confused as her mind started coming more awake.

"As a means of triggering Qwark to come after me for another battle between us," Nefarious explained readily. "And because you said you wanted to see me try."

Twilight smiled. "I see," she offered with a wide smile. "How'd you manage it? I'm really curious."

"I waited until you were asleep, then asked Ratchet for permission to abscond with you menacingly until Qwark came to rescue you," Nefarious proclaimed easily. "He shook his head, said he didn't want to know, and left the door open."

Twilight burst into giggles. "You...you asked my Dad's permission to kidnap me?"

"It worked!" Nefarious countered insistently. "It's the last thing any of you expected, and now I have you at my mercy, and Qwark must journey alone to confront my new fiendish lair of traps, hazards, and deadly robot soldiers to rescue you!" He proceeded to cackle madly.

Grinning, Twilight got to her hooves and braced herself, deciding to 'play along' somewhat. "And what's to stop me from doing thi-Aaaah!" Twilight's words were cut off by the gasping moan. She'd started to gather her magic, but the moment she did, a surge of pleasure shot from the tip of her horn through her entire body, breaking her concentration and dropping her back to her stomach. It was at that point she became aware of strange metal rings around the base of her horn, the base of both wings, and around each of her hooves.

"That would be the suppressor rings you're currently wearing," Nefarious explained. "When activated, they send a surge of energy along your nervous system to disrupt your concentration, and they're powered by any magic you extend beyond your body. This includes spell formula from your horn, flight magic from your wings, or how your magic boosts your physical strength and allows you to grip things in your hooves. These render you completely helpless!" He once more cackled madly.

Twilight lifted one hoof to examine the runic-circuitry embedded in the ring. "And if one of them is damaged, broken, or otherwise improperly deactivated, the rest will activate at full power because of the broken circuit?" she asked curiously.

"Precisely!" Nefarious proclaimed. "Running instead on your ambient magical energy as it attempts to rebalance the circuit." He grinned widely. "It's so nice having a hostage that can follow everything I'm saying."

"But why does it send pleasure?" Twilight inquired curiously.

"Well, villainous kidnapping aside, I didn't want to hurt you," Nefarious offered apologetically. "It only worked if I used pleasure or pain, and not only would using pain be emotionally traumatic for me, after all your adventures your pain tolerance is insanely high, and I'd have the choice between high enough that it risked damaging your psyche or low enough you could easily overcome it by sheer determination. Besides, pleasure is far more distracting, wouldn't you say?"

Twilight had to chuckle at that. "Oh, most definitely. Although it does leave me to wonder..." She glanced at the band around her hoof again. "Were these originally meant for holding me hostage...or something else?" Her eyes shifted to a nearby table.

On the table was a pale blue Princess dress in her size with a tiara resting on top of it. Next to it was a rather wicked looking obsidian crown, heavily jeweled with curved spikes, resting on an ermine cape that was red on one side and black on the other. These were also sized to a body her size, but not in her size.

Nefarious managed to look a tad embarrassed. "I like to multitask..." he admitted finally. "Besides, whether I'm the villain or just a mad scientist...you're still my Princess to me..."

Twilight smiled warmly, a soft blush on her cheeks. Her smile then turned impish. "Then tell me, oh Evil King, how long shall I be helpless in your wicked clutches, unable to resist anything your fiendish imagination can concoct to do to me, before 'my hero' comes to my rescue?"

Nefarious grinned wickedly as he converted his body to equine form, using his crystal lined horn to telekinetically bring the dress, tiara, cape, and crown over to them. "Oh, he's not coming for a long time, Princess!" he proclaimed with another maniacal cackle. Leaning in, he whispered, "I asked Clank to make sure Qwark didn't find out I took you for at least 12 hours."

Twilight giggled as she slipped into the dress and tiara. "Oh...you horrible brute!" she offered dramatically.

This was going to be a fun weekend.

Author's Note:

Ladrian actually went so far as to pen an idea of what the 'fun weekend' was like, which can be found here. Prepare for laughs and insanity.

Comments

[Fareseed]

Oh my...

[Alara Daeth]

..nice

[1eragon33]

uuum I want to see quark walk in at the wrong time

[SafeGuard]

This has to be the highlight of my week. The rest of my week has been great because holidays but this was just above and beyond. Another amazing chapter to Tats, well done.

[goldfencer]

7619234 Probably not going to happen. Nefarious would definitely have some kind of alarm system set up to let him know when Qwark arrives at the Fortress of Villainous Sexytime.

[Tatsurou]

7619269
Stealing that name.

[PrismStrike]

oh....my well this chapter was definitely...interesting. if it wasn't for the Teen rating on this fic i think that bit at the end would have been much more...graphic

[Scygnus]

...Now I'm imagining Nefarious recording and televising the whole thing and it looking more like a sitcom than an adventure thing.

You know, now I want to see that sitcom.

Also: I'm half-expecting Twilight getting back to Equestria and complaining about her duties... only to get kidnapped away from them by her boyfriend. Celestia is terribly jealous.

Also also: Nefarious vs. Reporters was brilliant.

[Crescent Glaive]

7619283 i would pay money and blood to see a tv show about that

And the "kidnapped by your bf to spend time together" would be so laugh inducing to read

Sir, have a gold star

sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-have-a-gold-star-4.png

[goldfencer]

7619278 Have a great big neon sign above the entrance.

[Minevera]

reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/oh-my-takei.gif

[KVFFour]

7619323 Oh god...

[ArchAngelGundam]

I do believe I'm going to enjoy the next few chapters. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.

[Chrome Masquerade]

"Tell me something. What demographic is Twilight Sparkle most popular with?"

The reporter had blinked in surprise, but readily answered. "12 year old or younger boys and girl, and the parents thereof. She's a huge inspiration story for children, and parents love holding her up as a role model."

Nefarious nodded. "And what qualities - other than being adorable, brilliant, and heroic - is she known for the most?"

The reporter listed them off readily. "Her kindness, generosity, loyalty, honesty, and sense of humor." For some reason, hearing those qualities listed together always gave her a sense that she had forgotten something of great importance.

4.bp.blogspot.com/-yLBn_mKpoKc/VOKQBDpbOYI/AAAAAAAAAo8/42v8EocR6KY/s1600/image1-3.JPG

[Chrome Masquerade]

"Let's focus on honesty," Nefarious suggested. "That would seem to suggest that she would answer questions from reporters to the best of her ability, yes? With as much detail as possible, for complete answers?"

"That's right," the reporter confirmed, looking eager.

"And she will," Nefarious confirmed. "If you ask again about what goes on between two super geniuses capable of warping the very fabric of reality and rewriting the laws of physics for kicks and giggles what we get up to together in the bedroom, we will both happily answer in complete detail, even give you a play-by-play. But before you ask, I have something to ask you." He leaned over the reporter, who now looked pale. "Do you want your network to be the one known for destroying childhood?"

After all, as the old saying goes, "if you ask a stupid question....."

[badninja]

Meanwhile in Equestria for some unknown reason Cadance knows Twilight just got lucky, however Twilight is in her viewing range and alone.

[Dirty Bit]

Mervin Nefarious is a magnificent bastard...

[HB_DS2013]

...I need an adult...

[Zamorakas Devilhorn]

Yes. Just Yes.

Nefarious: OF COURSE!
Quark: THAT MEME IS DEEEEAAAAAADDDDDD!

[Tristar]

why do I keep getting the visual of Tirek piddling himself when Twilight busts out all the RYNO?

[redsopine]

7619598 because it can anilate half a galxery in one blast or wipe out a entire army and species targetd to it

[RanmaChaos]

A very enjoyable chapter. Great job.

[Just Defender]

This is getting kinkier and kinkier.

[Kenshinryuu]

Twilight smiled. "I see," she offered with a wide smile. "How'd you manage it? I'm really curious."

"I waited until you were asleep, then asked Ratchet for permission to abscond with you menacingly until Qwark came to rescue you," Nefarious proclaimed easily. "He shook his head, said he didn't want to know, and left the door open."

Twilight burst into giggles. "You...you asked my Dad's permission to kidnap me?"

Actually, it makes sense. Ratchet will stay home and let Qwark do the rescuing and not tear the galaxy apart trying to save his daughter.

Why am I getting visions of Qwark being told, "I'm sorry, but your princess is in another castle!" by various minions????

One suggestion on the restraints: better have a quick release just in case Twilight needs to use her magic to protect herself.

[Tatsurou]

7620288
Two things.
One, each time it'll be a prerecorded holographic message of Lawrence wearing a Toad hat saying that.
Two, Nefarious has a remote control that can turn the restraints off - or activate them on Twilight's ambient magic - built into his circuitry, so deactivation is literally at the speed of thought.

[Kenshinryuu]

7620295

[Arcadia Arcanum]

7619508

[Jake Witt]

7619852 I have a "friend" that still wants to know what happened in the "All4One/4-Gotten" Arc. I had to tell him it ended on a cliffhanger.

[Just Defender]

7620972 And this doesn't explain it?

[Jake Witt]

7620981 I let him read the Wub Masters Arc from "Wily's Wittle Wub" ahead of me. Funny, worrying, & never again.

[Frostgear]

This will be an interesting next few chapters.

[shinigamisparda]

Twilight smiled. "I see," she offered with a wide smile. "How'd you manage it? I'm really curious."

"I waited until you were asleep, then asked Ratchet for permission to abscond with you menacingly until Qwark came to rescue you," Nefarious proclaimed easily. "He shook his head, said he didn't want to know, and left the door open."

Twilight burst into giggles. "You...you asked my Dad's permission to kidnap me?"

I can just see this in the future.

*Phone Ringing*
Ratchet: Hello?
Nefarious: Hey Ratchet, it's me. I was thinking about kidnapping Twilight this Friday. Would that be alright?
R: Ooh. She and quark actually have a press conference that day.
N: How about next tuesday?
R: They're recording an episode of Secret Agent Clank that day.
N: Hm... You know what, I think I'll put this off to next month. It'll give me time to make improvements on the evil lair. Maybe order some silk sheets for the bed in her cell.
R: Alright, I'll talk to her and see what she has available, how's that?
N: Yeah, that'd probably be best. Call me when you know.
R: Will do.

Besides, pleasure is far more distracting, wouldn't you say?"

And what's to say she won't activate them intentionally now?

Twilight giggled as she slipped into the dress and tiara. "Oh...you horrible brute!" she offered dramatically.

Jeez Twi, save some of the dramatics for Rarity.

7619283 7619290 The Dislestia shippers will be all over that.

[Just Defender]

7621027 How is that relevant to this story?

[Tatsurou]

7621348
I think he means he has the same concerns about sharing the last two chapters.

[Ota-Con]

7619382 for that tho i believe 'don't ask questions if you can't handle the answers' might work a little better here

[Fareseed]

7619508
Pretty sure most of us either are or close to adult.

7619280
And take away the imagination of what happen? Your mind is of better use for that then to have it written.

[Chrome Masquerade]

7621494 (shrugs) maybe.

[Jake Witt]

7621369 Thank you. I don't have a problem with romance stuff but apparently, not everything goes over a 2016 kid's head. I blame YouTube or something.

[Darkus Relling]

So after blacking out, I found myself in FiMFiction's public bathtub, buried in ice with my sides missing. Tatsurou, why?

[SvenFoxx]

7622261 I think I just got thrown in as well, and mine are missing as well. Damn you Tatsurou! *Tries to sound upset, but is too busy giggling like a mad school girl after drinking a pot of coffee.*

Another awesome chapter, and definitely made my day!

[khatre]

Isn't Twilight like 14 now?
Ratchet and well ... ANYONE ELSE they know may have some Serious problems with Nefarious's plans if they knew that a PLEASURE DUNGEON was involved ...

[Tatsurou]

7682473
18, actually.

[Ladrian]

Binge reading this story after letting it cooking for a couple months.

No... Don't open the door for side stories and then never deliver, plz. Plz don't do it. Now I'm going to be thinking of Fanfics for this Fanfic. In fact I did.

This started out as a reaction to the idea that Twilight the Great and Powerful could EVER be at the mercy of anyone else, and then two super-geniuses started spewing Technobabbble back and forth in my head. Also it’s a Sunday and I had nothing better to do, and reading good stories always makes me want to write my own but I don’t trust myself to write anything with actual plot (of the literal or colloquial kind). So comedy one-shots it is. I mean, it is November, any excuse to write is good enough.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EHHPq0LT5urF8zkXipkOV-MfJtl2b29lq5Ta5FNvBNw/edit?usp=sharing

[Tatsurou]

7737041
That was a hilarious laugh that I desperately needed. I'm going to add a link to that in the author's notes.

[Ladrian]

7737081
Yay! Authorial approval!

Time to finish catching up and then back to Dishonored 2.

[Raul]

... oh my.

[proto20]

"Do you want your network to be the one known for destroying childhood?"

Seeing what's on the news and the shows they have today, they already have.

[Typist Gray]

Read the bonus chapter... Truly that was hilariously horrific.

[Black Ash]

8181078
There's a bonus chapter?

*reads*

Which part? I see no problems here.

[djthomp]

*whistles*