While waiting for when she would next be sent out to fight somewhere, Twilight decided to make good use of her time by repairing Barb and Owloiscius. "I may not be an accredited roboticist," she had told them, "but the least I can do is make sure you won't fall apart before the first shot." As she had worked, she had done her best to learn about her new robotic companions.
Owloiscius' story was mostly guesswork, as he still refused to have his voice box replaced. He apparently liked not being able to say anything but 'who'. However, the Megacorp logo on his personality core, the bite marks on his voice box, and the blue fur stuck here and there in his circuitry strongly suggested to Twilight that he had been on Planet Yeedil while she was in 'quarantine', and had been wrecked when Mr. Fuzzy-Biter and his fellows had staged their revolt. His terrified reaction at even the mention of 'Protopet' confirmed that deduction.
Barb's story was equally straight forward. When the Thunder Soldiers had destroyed her, she'd been sold for scrap. Her personality and memory core had been bought by Vox Media and stuck in her present body, and she'd been struggling to stay functional ever since. She was, however, able to mix up surprisingly high quality meals with the very limited ingredients they were provided for Twilight's regular meals.
When they weren't working on upgrades, practicing combat, or telling stories, they watched the Vox Media commercials. Sometimes they were informative as far as what would come. This was especially true of announcements related to her league.
"And now for a Vox Sports Update!" Dallas proclaimed on screen. "Dreadzone's extermination of the day award goes to Max Force, for his triple spin pile driver Tombstone special technique on Galactic Crush!"
A smaller screen within the large screen displayed a cyborg not much larger than Qwark hefting a massive android hero in an insane flip through the air before slamming it into the ground hard enough to break it in half right at the center of the spine. There was a visible dent in the arena at the site of the impact, and it was hard to tell if the strike did more damage to the fighter or the ground. Neither, however, would be fixed easily.
"It was quite a lovely finish, Dallas," Juanita agreed. "And it marks Max Force's third victory as an Exterminator, having only recently joined the squad for the new Second League."
"Why don't we see what he has to say on the subject?" Dallas suggested.
"I can answer that already," Juanita pointed out. "Max Force never speaks. No one knows why."
"Well one thing I do know!" Dallas countered. "Team Vampony won't last long against him. No one does."
"Team Vampony?' Juanita demanded. "Which team is that?"
"It's what they named little Twilight Sparkle's team after she got her own battle bots," Dallas explained. "Someone in marketing thought it would appeal to the 12-24 female demographic, for some reason."
"...I don't get it," Twilight said finally after that update played. She opened her mouth wide to look at her reflection. "Should I be wearing plastic fangs or something?"
Barb was silent, though Owloiscius was hooting hysterically. "How old are you, dear?" Barb asked.
"Ten," Twilight replied.
"That's why you don't get it," Barb replied in relief. "Don't worry about it. It's just someone's idea of a bad joke."
It wasn't long before Twilight's team was sent to their next world for combat, and she listened carefully to the announcement regarding the world.
"Folks we're live tonight from the dark planet of Noctus, where Max Force and his forces have turned the City of Night into their penultimate arena!"
As Dallas made his announcement, Twilight watched the city she was approaching. The planet itself couldn't really be called that. It didn't have a sun of its own, and existed in perpetual darkness save for the light of the stars. The city itself was an ancient structure of black rock, soaring majestically over the cratered surface, any details invisible in the blackness.
Dallas continued his announcement. "The only light Team Vampony will have going in will be that which they bring with them, and it will only last for so long. The hazards of this world include hidden pitfalls, black geysers, and of course the invincible grues. According to legend, this is their homeworld...if you believe they exist. At any rate, despite the dangers, Twilight and company will have to ration their light in their approach to the Black Keep, which is thankfully illuminated properly."
"And thankfully for the viewers at home," Juanita added, "Dreadzone is using special darklight cameras to record the action on the outside of this world, so viewers at home can see everything!"
"Except the grues," Dallas corrected. "Assuming they exist, they've never been seen on camera. No one knows why."
Twilight smirked as she led her bots off the transport. This was going to be...interesting. "Ration your lights, everyone," she stated firmly. "let your optics adjust as best you can, and test your footing." She thought for a bit, then suddenly grinned. "Owloiscius, sing for us."
As the sniper bot sang out in endless sequence of "Who"s, Twilight tweaked her optic scanners until she had it equipped for sonar. Keying it to the frequency of Owloiscius' voice box - which she discovered operated on hypersonic wavelengths as well as normal - she started to lead her team through the grim landscape.
Max Force paced back and forth in his arena, waiting for his opponents. He was leanly built, looking not unlike the T-800 model Terminator with how his cybernetics met his flesh. Despite now being little more than a hired killer, he still wore his dog tags. He took these fights seriously. It was the only place he could avoid being sent back to war.
He was caught off guard by a loud roar, followed by something massive crashing through the wall and into his arena. He had no idea how to describe the creature besides being absolutely...gruesome.
Twilight slid off her mount with a smile. "Good boy," she said happily, scritching it behind what - for the sake of sanity - would have to be called an ear. "Thanks for the lift!"
The grue - for that's what it had to have been - leapt out of the hole in the Keep. The hole then somehow sealed itself up as Twilight turned to face Max Force. "Shall we get this started?"
Shrugging his shock aside, Max nodded, pounding his clenched fist into his metal palm. He then leapt into battle.
While Max Force leapt full force into battle, using both wrestling moves and wrist mounted flame throwers to try and gain advantage, Twilight countered with her own energy shields, her weapons, and back up from Barb and Owloiscius. While the fight seemed rather even, Twilight was far more maneuverable than Max Force, and had a great deal more energy.
As Max Force's cybernetics began to glitch from overheating, Juanita shouted from the announcer's box, "Give him the chair!"
Grinning, Twilight ripped Dallas' chair from the announcer's box and smashed it over Max Force's back, knocking him into stasis.
"And victory for Team Vampony!" Dallas announced. "...but seriously, why did it have to be my chair? I'd just gotten the seat shaped to my buttocks..."
Back at her containment suite, Twilight focused on cleaning her weapons, reloading them, and maintaining her robot companions. However, she was caught off guard when Max Force knocked on the door. "Umm..." she began. "You aren't upset about losing...are you?"
Max Force shook his head, smiling. Kneeling down, he held out a bouquet of flowers that were black as night, with moon pale stems.
Twilight gasped as she caught sight of them. "Nightshadows..." she breathed. "But...they're supposed to be extinct!"
Max pointed towards Noctus.
"They grow there?" When Max shook his head in response, Twilight's eyes widened even further. "You grow them there?" At the nod, she stared at the flowers in amazement. "They're...they're beautiful..."
With a soft smile, Force plucked one flower from the bouquet and held it out to her.
Carefully, Twilight consumed the delicate, priceless blossom. "It's...it's delicious..." she breathed.
Smiling, Max Force set the bouquet in a basin of water so the flowers would stay fresh, then put them under a shade to block out light so they wouldn't wilt. In the darkness, the stems glowed, casting a monochrome rainbow on the petals. He then turned to leave with a smile as Twilight stared at the flowers in fascination.
ok I laughed at the Twilight book joke. Not many fics make me do that. good job
awwwwwwww max force has a crush...
wait thats a cyberdyne T100 gods RUN twilight
And yet another Twilight hate joke.
I get it; the movies did suck, badly.
The books, however, were actually a great read. Bella may be mawkish and wishy-washy most of the time.
I make a point to not just judge something because of one point; as long as it's in character that is.
I admit though, yours was pretty funny.
Ok twilight effect still full throttle and max force looks like a terminator. Nice
6269753
He's not courting her. He was just bringing her a nice treat.
She tamed a Grue?
Talk about imposible.
God damn it....That joke...
6269758 The Terminator was a T101, not a T100.
Even your characters see and don't like what you did there
6269771 the second book wasn't very good in my opinion. Something in the storyline like it was just filler to make it into a trilogy or something
caught
6269927
Well, yeah, the second book was meh. I think the whole 'Edward leaves Bella to protect her' bit is what did it.
My favorite was the third. Second Bella part. The awakening scene is really good.
I am part of the camp that says vampires shouldn't sparkle though. I never could get into the whole 'sunlight destroys them' crap; in the old tales, sunlight didn't kill vampires, it weakened them. As well as revealed their true nature.
that was amusing.... I assume Ratchet's parts of this series are unchanged? aside from a focus on finding Twilight...
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
"not much larger than Quard"
"Quark"?
6269797
...you do realize that this is Twilight Sparkle we are talking about, right?
... You put the freaking terminator in there...
Alright then, we have professional, funny, cute soldier Twilight now, here's hoping she doesn't go explode any more planets.
I had to remember the use of Vampony to get the Twilight joke
This was a good chapter, although I cannot help but feel tense at the last part...
6269952
I like to think the narrator got caught off guard as well, hence the mistype/pronunciation.
So many of Twilight's enemies forget (or never realize) that her most dangerous ability is making friends with anything
Awwww, that ending
because it means your so lazy your butt made it into that shape
There was a visible dent in the arena at the sight of the impact
leapt out of the hole in the Keep, The hole then
1. Site.
2. Forgot your full stop. And I think you didn't mean to put the extra spacing.
Elsewhere, Shellshock is probably now dead.
The movies were horrible, the books are alright. Though vampires should definitely not sparkle. Onwards! Anyway, in my head Twilight imitated Nora from RWBY during the team test episode with her arena entrance. With slight differences, of course.
tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=JN.Zhd4%2b57/kSkRbQHDMsmB6A&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=JN.M4fEos2W1uVh0Lly40lD%2bQ&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0
Hmm, I wonder how I feel about that series
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.
Goddamnit, Tatsurou!
6270028
Pretty much, yeah. Which is why for the game parts where Twilight and Ratchet are seperated for long periods of time, I focus on Twilight's story...like I did back in Commando.
I've got to wonder how much of Twilight's ability to win people over is because she's a cute little Alicorn Filly and how much is because she's the Princess of Friendship and her magic is part of that???
I can just see all the top name players Twilight faces becoming her surrogate big brothers and sisters and when Ratchet and Twilight make their move they'll have an army of the biggest names on the network helping them bust loose.
6269797 Fluttershy could do it and Twilight is an adorable filly with the magical power of friendship so she can do it!!! And if that's not enough: Rule of Cool trumps all logic
Heh, you know what would make a great exterminator? Alexander Anderson. How did he get there, you ask? Let's just say that REEEEALY WIERD SHIT hoes down when one is high on Irish priest in the place between dimensions
6270948 those arent vampires, they're blood fairies.
I sense something in my gut... Twilight is making friends with the other combatants, Building an army of tough, highly proficient Warriors, possibly to break free, and crush Zox before dispersing into the galaxies and attempting to lead normal lives... But If Twilight should ever call, they will answer, with fire and steel... Or the applicable equivalent.
Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Hurt Twilight Sparkle...
Fun Fact: "Y" is how "TH" was written in Old English. So "Ye" would be translated into "Thee" meaning "You". However, most people still mispronounce it "Ye", cuz that's how it's spelled.
Are you SUUUUUURE that nobody wants to look up that My Little Pony holovid?
hey wait, wasn't twilight's dark half called dark star?
6306360 A death threat AND a English lesson...I approve.
6306360 It's Vox, not Zox. Like Shady Vox... Unless you're referring to socks as an insult.
...now I'm thinking Ace as Ace. To elaborate: Old Bruce Wayne's guard dog.
6269771 It's literally a self-insert wish-fic, confirmed by the author herself. And it's related to Fifty Shades of Grey in some way that I don't really care to remember. That alone puts it on the list of books that need approval for burning, and I hate the idea of burning books.
Darn it. Lack of any pop-culture knowledge is defeating me again. No clur what a T-100 Terminator looks like. (Or T-1 to T-99 either)
7575619
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/94/T-800_(Model_101).png
Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator.
7575633
So that is a T-800
The make up team sure did a great job.
Thank you.
:O I'm amazed, but confused. I thought that if Twilight ever used her magic for any reason, it would send a signal to Ratchet's collar to explode. Or was that just if her magic touched her collar to try to remove it?
7642321
It's if she used her magic on the collar.
Pride always finds its way to destruction. Lawlessness never pays, in the end~
I love Dallas and Juanita's banter! It was gold in the original, and it's gold here!
In all honesty im still trying to figure if the joke is based on the twilight series or if its because every1 in the audience thinks she sucks?