Smooze
Dear Smooze,
You are the worst wingman in bromance history, you gelatinous mass of duck feces! I'm trying to make Fluttershy jealous, and instead of hanging with me and at least pretending you care, you go around eating everything in sight! It's a good thing you reproduce asexually, because there'd be no way you'd ever get laid otherwise, you stagnant pile of curdled semen!
Yours sincerely, Discord.
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I know you have to take a lot of liberties with characters' personalities to make this whole thing work, but this is really taking things too far. At least try to keep the insults to something resembling realistic.
5990612
It seems perfectly realistic that it would reproduce asexually, being basically an amorphous blob.
5990627 I was referring to the Smooze not being able to get laid, regardless about whether it needs to to reproduce.
5990673
Oh yes, I know the Smooze has a certain extent of sex appeal, but Discord's probably still pissed about the Gala. People say mean things when they're angry. Or tired. Or bored.
Smooze: dude, u jelly?
I wonder when Discord will finally insult the author. Because of seriously, just calling names is boring, unlike letters to the Day Cycle pair. The best is when the target understands the thing is an insult only after thanking for a COMPLIMENT.
5990866
Miss the point much?
5990866
I think Discord's technically the author in this case, and it would be rather out-of-character if he managed to insult himself.
Us readers, on the other hand, may or may not be fair game.
5991169
He had already insulted himself as Discord to Discord. My offer is a pretty standart (even Pinkie, who is way less random than the chaos spirit itself, does it a lot) fourth-wall breaking, where he sends regards to one on this side of PC commenting the idea he has nothing better to do than send insults to everyone. And to readers...Ok, but it has to be really good to touch something in everyone reading this.
5990962
Why not? He's Discord, after all.
5991212
Huh--you're right, I must've missed it somehow... Sorry 'bout that. *tips hat*
5990818
Well done. Discord now feels insulted because you called him people. Now he's gonna rise up and sweep away the government in a bloodless, peaceful but nonetheless chaotic revolution. (cue Discord chanting "we ain't the people".)