Chronicles of an Evil Overlord

by Melancholy

Rule 9

Domination of Equestria - T -61 days.

“You cracked the code yet?”
“Yea, the last seal is coming off now. You see it?”
“The big red button rising out of the floor labeled ‘Self Destruct?’ Yea, I see it. You should get over here.”
“On it. Be there in 30.”

It hadn’t been easy getting this far.
Unsurprisingly, security was tight around the control room and related systems.
Four blast doors, sixteen patrols, countless cameras.
It was a marvel they’d gotten to the end at all.
But here they were, in the control block, sealed in while alarms blared around them with the sounds of heavy cutting torches on the massive bulkheads sizzling behind them. They stared at the culmination of their mission as it slowly slid from its protective housing recessed in the floor.

“Hey.”
“Hey yourself.”
“You did most of the work. You want to do the honours?”
“Humm, maybe. But would anyone really know which of us ultimately pressed it in the end? I mean, when this place explodes, we’re going with it. Assuming the guards don’t get through the door first.”
“Good point. Maybe we should press it together? That way whoever argues about this in the years to come will always be right.”
“I like that idea. Well.... I just want to say-”
“Yea, I know. Me too.”
“Right. On three?”
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three!” “Three!”

It was twenty minutes later the bulkheads finally came down.
“Everything secure?”
“Yes Captain, everything is accounted for.”
“Perfect. Inform the Master that everything functioned as designed. He truly is a genius.”
“Aye Captain. Shall we take the bodies away as well?”
“Please do. Make sure they go directly in the incinerator.”
“At once, Captain.”

Overlord Rule No:9 I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

Comments

[JDunk1971]

Yes. The Big Red Button Strikes Again!

[OddOneOut]

trolllolllolll

[cyberlord4444]

I am reminded of the big red button trap from the game Evil Genius. If you haven't heard of that game, check it out.

[Leonzilla]

So this were the other two wonderbolts that stormed along Spitfire.

[Eonflare]

That was a little vague. Where's the spray of bullets?

[AetherToast]

Rather brilliant really.

[Hugeisno1]

I'm slightly disappointed. It's a messy thing, using bullets in a trap. The dents in the wall will need to be fixed as well.

[Kevin Lee]

6508411 True. This could just as easily used a shit load of Methyl Iso-Cyanide -- and a lot less to cleanup afterwards.

[PinkieDP]

I'm pretty sure the overlord's face by now is just a permanent troll face

[Vigriff]

6668053 Or at least magnificently smug.

[XerainTheBountyHunter]

7495593 Could it be both?

[Vigriff]

7914057 Yes.

[Bronzer]

Make sure they go directly in the incinerator

And surround yourself with competent mooks and that their subordinates are also competent.