Domination of Equestria - T-194 days.
“You can’t expect me to ignore this.”
“Of course not Princess Twilight. In fact, I’m counting on it.”
Now, what's on the menu? The lack of meat in Ponyville establishments was most regrettable, but some things still leap out. Trust a Princess to pick the most upper crust establishment in the area.
Heh, they probably still actually cut the bottoms off.
“You expect Equestria to fight you? That’s foolish. More foolish than trying to move an army across half a continent in the first place. You’d never get within telescope distance of the Canter Mountain, let alone actually get into Canterlot.”
The goats cheese omelette looked good. Always liked goats cheese. Sharper than your normal cow udder affair.
Well except that one time. We don’t talk about the affair with the cow.
“Is it Princess? Is that why you invited me here? To talk me out of this ‘foolish’ course of action? Ah, waiter, a bottle of the finest house red if you would, for myself and the Princess? Thank you.”
“I invited you to talk you down, yes. Diplomacy and friendship are always the better options. Have you thought what a mind like yours could do if you chose to join the government?”
“My dear Princess, I think about that every single day.”
She’s shuddering. Oops, did I accidently smile? Ah, distraction.
“Ah, the wine is here, shall I pour you a glass Princess? Ah, a Chateau Briand, an excellent vineyard.”
“Humm...ok, just the one. Thank you.”
“Not a problem at all Princess.”
Now, uncork, stand, come around the table. Smile, excellent, she can’t meet my gaze.
Sleight of hand check, and...natural twenty.
“Enjoy the wine Princess, please.”
She’s still nervous. Am I still smiling? Ah, who cares now. All she has to do is drink.
Ah, this is a good one though. What year? Eight hundred after banishment? A good year.
“Can I have your orders, Sir, Princess?”
Damnit, don’t distract her now, she was going to take a sip!
“I’ll have the daisy salad please.”
“A fine choice Princess, I’ll have the Deathcap stem soup if you wouldn’t mind.”
Finally, out the way you distraction.
“Is there nothing I can say which would deter you? You understand the Elements of Harmony themselves will be sent against you.”
Stop talking and drink! For a mare so fond of her own voice how can she say so much without lubrication!
“But Princess, it would be an honour to be visited by yourself and your friends. It would mean you’d finally be taking me seriously rather than inviting me for dinner.”
“I’ve often learnt that diplomacy is the better part of valour.”
“If you say so.”
“I’m sorry sir, but there’s a telephone call for you inside.”
Now? Of all times. I swear, if it’s another problem with the focusing lenses I’m going to gouge someone’s eyes out and use them instead!
“Thank you.”
Bollocks, the phone’s by the bar? I can’t see the table from there. She could be doing anything!
“Hello?”
“I’m watching you bub. If you do anything to Twilight I’m going to buck you so hard you’ll be making your own Rainboom.”
“Dear oh dear, does the Princess know you’re making crude threats while she’s in the middle of negotiations?"
“What? What’s that got to do with it? It’s because she’s all alone with you that I am calling!”
“That’s not how diplomacy works Miss Dash, but I’ll be sure to let her know you called.”
“What? No don-”
Irritating mare. She’s going to be top of my list when I rule this place. She’s going to suffer all my most tender tortures.
“Sorry about that Princess. Oh, the food’s arrived? I’m sorry for taking so long.”
“No problem at all. This wine is great by the way.”
What? She’s finally taken a sip? Excellent! Wait, why is her glass still full then?
Why is my glass still full?
“I topped off both our glasses. I hope you don’t mind.”
Is she smiling!? Damnit all, you’re playing me you blasted Princess!
“Actually, I don’t think the Chateau Briand would go all that well with Deathcap.
Waiter? Could you take this away and bring us a smooth white instead?”
You win this round, Princess.
Overlord Rule No:83 If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
I personally prefer this rule: if I must poison the hero's wine while eating with them, I will use a poison I am am immune to and poison both glasses. No prizes for where I got this rule, although if you don't
Never start a land war in Asia.
6499342 that was smart
Wait, they had phones?
Poison huh? Dude, you gotta think better then that! Use a magic enhancing potion instead, make believe it's poison and then drink it. That's how the Black Baron did it back in 693 BB
Brilliant idea. Looking forward to more.
6499735 Oh now there's an idea. Compress that ball of magic and fling it at a camp of Resistance. Instant DEATH!
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Not bad. But I can't tell what the Overlord is supposed to be. The cover art and mention of a gun makes me think human, but the lack of commenting on it makes him sound like a pony.
*Alondro sticks a tack with MRSA on the evil overlord's throne* Enjoy the ass boils! Trolololo!
*The Rules are pointless against Tricksters and Antiheroes!*
There HAVE been a few "updated" Evil Overlord Lists that I've managed to come across, nothing to new really thought there are about five new ones all told the good one though is basically "Come across Amphibious Athromorphs, KILL THEM ALL! ESPECIALLY that bumbling sidekick type one, depth charge their underwater cities and then fill the whole swamp with cement and turn it into a parking lot."
6499226 we can agree that the factor of whether or not a Generals job should involve a certain degree of independent thinking and adapt to the circumstances it's critical to decide at what degree they are replaceable and whether the actions taken by the big bad were appropriate.
In this case the case it was that most likely there was not a clear consensus on the Commander proper way to act and so he favored independence and instincts in the heat of battle. In this instance that was clearly a mistake; but one could argue that the principle of having Commanders show a certain degree of independence isn't flawed as they are in better position to judge the circumstances at the time than their superiors besides that in the heat of battle how quickly a body respondes can make a humongous difference.
However our main villain currently believes that his judgment is surely or almost surely more reliable regardless of the circumstances and as such he wouldn't want his factions to act independently, ever.
Since in his point of view commanders should just follow orders they are more replaceable and insubordination is a grave inexcusable offence.
But in reality those this differ with the circumstances and neither of them it's correct 100% of the times.
~Leonzilla
Ugh. You know why no villain ever follows those rules? It's because it makes the story BORING. Let's be honest, in Harry potter, we don't want to see voldermort use the death spell on Harry. In Mario, we don't want to hit a pit of lava we can't cross. In James bond, we don't want to see him fall at those incredible odds.
Good God I hate stories which think they break the mold, when really they break the rules of good storytelling.
6500273
You really seem to be missing the point that this example wasn't about independence and insubordination, it was sheer incompetence. It wasn't a case of a general reacting to changing conditions and opportunities on the battlefield (the competent overlord understands extenuating circumstances), it was a glory hound needlessly throwing away the lives of his troops because he apparently doesn't even understand the concept of an organized retreat, even if it's a direct order from the top. If someone's only tactic is suicidal charges regardless of the circumstances, you want them FAR away from your command structure.
6500364 yes, you would want them far from the command structure but not dead on principle.
Just because someone has proven to be an incompetent commander because of poor decision making, doesn't mean that they would be an incompetent solider since they would no longer be in a position to make such mistakes.
He disregarded evident loyalty and devotion and decided to take his life mercilessly instead of allowing him the privilege to give up his life fighting for him.
In my opinion that is a waste.
~Leonzilla
6500412
6499701 If you have a safe to use magic enhancing potion why not just use it rather than trying to fool people into thinking its poison?
6500319 The whole point of this story is to show how a villain could use (and follow) those rules.
6499826
may I suggest rule #109?
6500640 now look
6501176 Ah, I see. Thank you.
6499342 Highly agree to that method taking poison in small amounts can make you immune or highly resistant to it over years. Lots of Monarchies have poisoned there children in the past so that they are not as easily killed when they get older using that method.
Ok, that one was actually really funny. Kudos for that.
6499342
6499364
6501423
This assumes you're immune to any poisons, that any poison so weak as to be able to build an immunity against your enemy is not also immune to, and that your constitution is better than that of a potentially immortal demigod, as it's the situation here.
Its a terrible idea because this list is about the opposite of making such dumb assumtions.
A hillarious as well as educational series.
6500464 I would like to make the point that as an evil overlord the chances of doing something that slights one of your lackeys in a significant way and does not lead to them eventually joining the hero because of it are sufficiently reduced. Such an act of demotion towards this commander could very well fester into hatred or a mere breaking of faith in all but the most blindly loyal servants. This soldier could also remain behind regardless of orders on the battlefield and thus be captured or impede his fellow soldiers.
6500245 But then the escaped sidekick like one will bumble through the forest and come across the heroes with a tail of woe to turn the warmest of hearts against you. And the other cities will begin an organized war against you.
6500319
Aaaactually about Voldemort.
6500319
I don't know, who gave you those thumbs-down, but I don't think you deserved any one of them . Your point is valid: people enjoy bashing villains in the name of good, and villains are not supposed to win.
This chapter (rule 83) reminds me of "Death Note" strongly! It also demonstrates an overlord list rule!
...Even though, again, I don't think this chapter is correct in reporting Twilight wouldn't have known about Dash guarding her surreptitiously. Twilight... did think about her own security... Did she not?..