Trixie and Spitfire fall in love and life is always throwing curve-balls at them around each turn. Join them as they venture through life and all the unexpected turns it has to offer. Now an Arc series.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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right. Gonna do my thoughts on this one before bed. It was neat. BUT.
Fleet seemed way to quick to accept the story and just as quick to go after Trixie. Those two together didn't make much sense.
Had Fleet NOT believed Trixie's story and then gotten mad at her it would have made more sense. Since she would have gotten angry about being lied to her face.
Works better as
5180048 I get what you mean really I do. The truth is Fleet didn't accept the story 100%. It was more like she knew from what she read in the paper, and that was it. I pegged her to be the emotional aggressive type that's quick to judge. Clearly I didn't do my job making this point clear, well a rewrite is in order! Thanks bro! Hopefully I can fix this quickly!
Dang, this was quick. xD
This sounds like Trixie is expecting her time with Spitfire to be short. Whether because she intends to leave, or because she expects Spitfire to be burned to a crisp, I'm not sure.
Well now. We get our fight with Trixie and Fleetfoot. I liked the part where Fleetfoot humilates Trixie by summing up facts. Sure it was a mean thing to do, but it was a good response to Trixie trying to claim she was better than her.
Let's answer a few questions:
Probably a lecture on Fleetfoot bullying Trixie. I suspect there will also be, some kind of talk about their past where Spitfire tries to get Fleetfoot to relate to Trixie through something in her history. Since Spitfire has mentioned she expected Fleetfoot 'of all ponies' to understand.
Yes. In fact, I bet she will be pretty pleased soon, due to a bundle. Though she probably will have Spitfire to answer to first, which won't be a happy conversation.
(Edit: If said bundle is indeed Link, that would corroborate Trixie's story too.)
It was Ruby. He did not actually kill Link, but hid him. This scene is Ruby bringing back Link, and the flash is Ruby finally getting his cutiemark, representing his relation to the flame family, and his big heart. Also, it looks like he can use his flame magic as a jetpack. o.O
(Alternatively, the cutie mark represents he's good at hurting love, since that follows the logic behind the burning timberwolf cutie mark. He's tortured Link to the point of near death, intending to have Trixie suffer, but I don't think that's it.)
Pette's Pie Bar. Obviously. xD
Notes:
it's*
1. will* (based on the context of the sentence.)
2. lets*
Is Trixie stumbling over her words? Or is there an issue here? It might need some punctuation to make that clear.
both her*
I will go along with using hoofs as hands for near any purpose, cause thats what the show does, but you can't start talking about clenched hoofs. xD
Suddenly, Applejack is narrating the story. ^.~
the*
the situation escalated mybe a bit to fast and i would think that Spitfire maybe could stop this sooner, actually i only thought it was enough as Trixie was nearly crying and attacked. Even if Trixie seems to be a bit too weak, if i remember it right she isn´t that healthy at the moment right?
I know she is not as strong as Twilight, but with everything i get to read i think she should be able to do as much as an average Unicorn could do.
Right now i think i can´t explain it good enough, but i like it. Well has Trixie attacked Fleetfoot with swords? And Fleetfoot attacken with furnishment? I have nothing against the violence, but i don´t see a reason for Trixie to be that crazy to attack with swords. It looks like they wanted to kill each other, but i think their brain switched off. For Fleetfoot well she was awful jealous.
To be honest am a Trixie fan, she is one of my favourite Ponys, but even if we haven´t seen that much about her magic yet, i don´t think that she is really weak, she maybe just don´t know that many spells and don´t train the right one.
If i didn´t said it already it is still good, maybe it is a bit to soon for the other side to get their appearance but i just wait and see for a moment.
I would like a nice moment between Spitfire and Trixie again, maybe with Spitfires friends or something like that and a nice evening follows.
Well befor the action is back
5180643 Nope they just wanted to cripple each other, it was actually a reference to the dream for Spitfire not as an actual thing. Of course they wouldn't attack with weapons to kill each other, hey hate each other but not that much.
I don't know if you remember but Fleetfoot and Trixie were always at each others throats since the beginning. This was just the last straw for Trixie piled with the insults Fleetfoot gave like in the episode Boast Buster with the mane six members.
Don't worry Trixie is better than the average unicorn, but we never said better than the average pegasus.
I'm glad you liked it though, I've been planning this for a while and I've gotten three completely different response from you, and two others. Lastly Trixie will be spending more time with Spitfire, but first the bonds must be rekindled.
5180591 Yay! My editor has not lost faith in me! He even taught me a new word corroborate! Nice! Twilight approves.
It's funny I get three different responses from three people on this story, it's good and fun all at the same time! I'm glad you approve of the scuffle between Fleetfoot and Trixie, the others were less enthusiastic, but I thought it was clear that neither really liked each other. (I'm so sick other saying each other I always put them together.)
I felt it would be a nice touch, since we all know Trixie resounds best to insult. Applejack must have come and edit my story cause I ain't no country folk talkinin ma simple tongue! AJ doesn't approve of me. Anyway I have big plans for next chapter! Hope this'll keep you hungry for more.
5181039 i maybe don´t remember every detail, because i read to fast again, but i think i simply forgot about that dream. After i read it again, well the last part i understood it a little bit better, i really forgot the dream and was probably suprised about the sudden fight. I think the last chapter made me thinking they were really trying to do somethin horrible.
Well for a bit i understand Fleetfoot too, i wasn´t really sure if it was the true what happend to Trixie but i chooes do believe it and it looks like it was true.
After a second thought i like the little fight too, i have to stop and answer with my first impression, or at least i should stop to right between reading. I am still glad that you don´t plan to make Trixie to weak, but after i read again there was no real need to think like that.
I don´t like it if it happens, but i think i have read to fast again and wasn´t able to get the important part right. Normally i know i have to read slow if i want to translate everything right in my head.
Thanks for the imput, know i got it.
I
5181336 Hey don't worry friend. I know English is a dumb language to the rest of the world. I have no problems helping out if I can. I'm glad you think Trixie doesn't need to be weak, Trust me she'll get better as time goes on. After all the saying goes, once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up. And Trixie will skyrocket! Not to alicorn status, but she'll improve.
I hate characters turning into alicorns. It's stupid deus ex machina. Hope the next chapter doesn't take too long to make.
BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!
7889427 Drama bomb?