Congrats on finishing up what has to be the most memorable romance fic featuring Rarity! Looking forward for your next/continued works. Oh right,will there be an epilogue of sorts for this story?

Well grats on finishing this one up. It was fun to read for sure.

There's something delightfully meta having various characters comment on them finally getting married. Congrats on eventually finishing the story... and allowing me to finally complete that damn tropes page!

Here be my review yo:
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So here we are. All good things must indeed come to and end, and alas this story is no exception. Still, having invested a considerable amount of time reading (and writing articles about it), I figure I'll give you a review on what I felt worked and didn't work so well.

The main problem with these sorts of stories (poor writing quality aside) is that they never take the time to show why two characters care for each other, let alone how such feeling develop in the first place. S&B definitely avoids the first one -- we see it over and over -- and while the story begins in medias res, there's certainly enough development through the flashbacks to make it a convincing romance.

I think perhaps my only comment on that front would be that moving in after such a short time seems unusual (though this is commented on and there are extenuating circumstances). Dropping the L word again seems a bit quick, even if they have been shown to get on like a house on fire from the very start, chronologically speaking. In any case, it doesn't really threaten my suspension of disbelief too much since it is just about within normal parameters (it's rare but does happen over such time frames), but it does strain it a little.

Of the three arcs within the story, the Cashmere one stands out to me the most. This is partly because it's the main backdrop of the story, but also because Cashmere is a very well written character. At first she comes across as shallow, but there's a great deal of depth in there that's very slowly revealed over the course of events. Her actions might be loathsome for much of the story, but she's an enjoyable character to read about, and it's obvious that you had a great deal of fun writing her character.

The Slate situation fits in quite well I think, even if there isn't that much depth to Slate, who is essentially a psychopath. But hey, not every character can get extensive characterization so there's nothing wrong with that. What I think it does quite neatly is add an element of action that the story doesn't otherwise have. It doesn't *need* it to be sure, but it did break things up a bit. And I appreciated that you took the time to portray the stalking realistically as something deeply upsetting and worrying, and certainly NOT romantic in any way. Something which a certain unnamed series should also aspire to.

It's also interesting to note that for all the protagonist's protectiveness of Rarity - the sort of thing you'd expect in Western culture - it's actually Rarity herself that eventually saves the day, and shows how kickass she is without being overt and in your face about it. I did wonder if there was meant to be any commentary on the difference in Western culture and Equestrian culture, but wasn't sure if it was there (albeit subtle) or if I was reading too much into things. Maybe you were just trying to avoid having the protagonist displace her on the badass front.

The Fluttershy arc was definitely the weakest in my opinion for several reasons. The biggest one is that it spends a lot of the story not really going anywhere while other events put it on the backburner. It undermines your efforts to deconstruct it and show how complicated and impractical such relationships generally are because it's never given the time and detail needed for this to be successful. It's also probably the most misleading aspect of the story, which initially promises a Rarity fic, and I find it an unnecessary addition, as both the Cashmere and Slate arcs would be enough to carry the story by themselves; it's not as if the story needed another one.

The downside of all these arcs is that it makes the story very long. This isn't that apparent when you read a new chapter every few weeks, but becomes clear when you start reading it back in one go. It also causes arcs to stretch on for longer than they should have. The Slate one I can't complain about much in this regard, but the Cashmere arc in particular would have been resolved much quicker and perhaps within a more realistic time frame.

At its heart, this is fundamentally a Rarity story and I think you've done a very good job in exploring her character, particularly her positive traits which I have to agree that both the show and the fandom don't always do justice to. Yet you've done this without putting her on a pedestal and making her out to be perfect or shoehorning her into a Mary Sue; she's not and certainly has her flaws. As we've seen with both the Cashmere situation and the Fluttershy arc, those flaws have indeed come back to bite her.

Overall, I've greatly enjoyed my time reading the story, if the fact I bothered to spend hours analysing it for its own TV Tropes page wasn't enough of a clue. And I really am envious of your writing abilities. There are a few flaws which you can work on for future stories, but I'd say this ranks up there with the best stories on the site and deserves more traffic than it gets, particularly when I compare it to the popularity of some of the other stories out there.

Perhaps the highest compliment I could pay this is that I feel the quality of the story is pretty much on a par with that of a professional author, and believe me that's certainly not a comment I make lightly. Okay that might not be saying much given some of the stuff that somehow manages to get published, but I think you can appreciate the sentiment. In any case I look forward to seeing what you come up with in future, and hope to be able to give you feedback on that when the time comes. And analysing the hell out of it as well. Maybe.

Particularly if it's a Celestia fic.

Pros:

* A very compelling romance; one of the best I've read in any fan story.
* A likeable protagonist, who certainly isn't perfect and has several flaws which are commented on.
* Interesting and well-written original characters.
* From a technical viewpoint, the writing is of very high quality. Scenes are descriptive, dialogue is believable. The only unrealistic aspect of the dialogue is it going out the way to avoid giving the protagonist a name.
* You've done a very good job of getting Rarity's character strengths across. The show doesn't make anyone a shallow character, but you've been able to add some considerable depth to her as you're freed from the limitations of a children's cartoon.

Cons:

* The length feels excessive when you read it all back.
* The Fluttershy arc to me feels like it doesn't get enough development, and it seems to sit there in the background for most of the story. The Cashmere situation also takes a long time to get resolved, and feels like it's been stretched out somewhat.
* I think that having 3 major plot arcs (Cashmere, Fluttershy, and Slate) was a bit much.
* I still feel that the second person detracts from the story, even if your implementation of it is much better than most, though that's because you go out your way to avert the typical featureless protagonist.

Awesome chapter. ... I have something n my eye....these aren't man tears ... Seriously *sniff* they aren't.

that was AWESOME i love this fic not one fic i have read has come close to this one in my mind this fic doesn't have a guy who has to save the world with crazy super powers no it's about a guy trying to make a new life for himself well done my good sir you have written a masterpiece

... It's complete.

A Wonderful end to a wonderful story. :)

Awwww, tis a bitter week thing when such a fic must end, but end it must. A beautiful tale of loss, hope and love eternal. It's been a real pleasure and a joy to read it.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HEN NIGHT? (BACHELORETTE PARTY)

Oh... and look, Whipsmart likes Fluttershy, and she likes him. So, Dash isn't into mares... Soarin, Thunderlane, or Big Mac. That's my prediction.

BUCKING CALLED IT!!!!!

Wait wait wait!! It's complete????? NO, IT CAN'T BE!!! THERE MUST BE MORE, ESPECIALLY MORE OF WHIPSHY!! heh, thank you Google!
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Lol, WhipShy...

Oh well, only one way to ensure I know of any possible sequel. *click*

Awesome, I've been waiting for this. Thank you!

Great story! Sad to see it end, but nothing can really go on forever. Great job.

I loved this story, I love the way it ended and thank you for giving us this master piece
but I'm in no small way sad to see that it is indeed ended........there not much else I can say that wont lead in to mindless rambling so again thank you.

Awesome chapter and story. I really enjoyed it from start to finish. Almost like a movie.

You look out at the crowd gathered in their rows, toward the first pews off to the right, where a section has been left empty, at your request, for your family that could not be with you. You choke back the sudden surge of sadness at imagining them sitting there.

"I miss you guys," you whisper.

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Perfect end, bro. Best 2nd person romance on the site. Nothing more needs to be said.

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Now I don't have to read the last few chapters to know what happens. Big time saver; thank you!

(I'm still jealous of this story's success)

Hard to believe it's over. I've loved this story from the first chapter and I'm kinda sad it's over. I can't wait to see what you create next!

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I loved every minute of this story and I can't wait for more of your works. I was also going to write a proper review of it for The Good HiE List, but 3127668 seems to have nailed it on the head. Bravo good sir.

I suppose asking for a sequel is a bit premature, but I hope you consider it. This is easily among the best romance fics on this site, human or otherwise. The lengthy journey to get here only makes the ending sweeter. You've pieced together a masterpiece that I still think hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves, Drefsab, but hopefully now that the full story is available, it will reach a wider audience.

Bravo!

Your work is possibly one of, if not the best romance stories — professional or fanwork — I've ever seen!

Please, don't stop writing!

At least the bride wasn't the changeling queen again. That would have been awkward.

Great story sir. Bravo.

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I'm sympathetic, but the problem is that a sequel necessitates conflict to drive it forward, and to me it would cheapen the story if a one were to be written. Just like it would cheapen the end of LoTR if after the epic journey, Frodo instead finds himself on a wacky adventure 10 minutes later.

I wouldn't mind getting a few more peaks in through the window in the form of random one-shot slice-of-life tales, if Dref ever felt the desire to write them at some point, but a full-fledged sequel, no, I don't think that would work. Quite aside from the fact that I suspect it would take a very long time for it to appear even if it were written.

It's been an enjoyable ride while it lasted, and I think our couple have earned their happy ending. While I wouldn't oppose dropping back in from time to time to see how they're doing, I think the tale has been told and nothing else needs to be said.

But hey, opinions.

Well that was a perfect ending to one of my favorite fics. I still wish there was more of the story.

As far as a HIE ship fic goes, ti really is one of the best. Our unnamed protagonist has a voice and acts like a responsible adult and a 20 something manchild sociopath with the personality of a tree stump. The Anon in this story isn't a Mary/Gary Sue and has the right kind of emotional baggage. Rarity is extremely likeable with her own set of good qualities mixed with a few character flaws to keep her interesting. Speaking of interesting I really loved how the OC's were handled in this story. The ones that stick out the most are: Pipe Wrench is the wise mentor who offers sagely practical advice and Cashmere was a the fantastic rival to Rarity because in an opposite mind set but not purely evil for the sake of being evil. Whip-Smart should have his own story as a I really liked how you wrote a know-it-all type character and kept him endearing by giving him a lot of other positive traits and by making him nonirritating with his intelligence. Lastly my favorite story arch in this fic was the Psychotic Stalker subplot. It just sooooo good in terms of pacing and suspense and resolution.

"Really? Do you...do you think I'm ready for that?" Morning Blossom's commitment to the business has been admirable over the last month, but she still holds a slight hero-worship for Rarity. It's equal parts adorable and groan-inducing at times.

It was at this point that I realized that Morning Blossom is like bastard love child of Pinkie Pie and Sponge Bob. Of Course, I mean that in a positive way. Blossom is obsessed with her job and making her boss happy and is overly happy to the point of diabetes. Yep, she's Pie-Bob.

Please make another fic like this.

This has been one of the most enjoyable stories I have ever read. I loved the conflict, I loved the characters and I loved the ending. Thank you for writing this story.

Bravo!

Wow...just wow.

What a way to end it. I have to say this is by far one of the greatest stories I have ever read. You kept me hooked throughout the entire story and you touched the heartstrings perfectly. I do hope you continue this in another story as I, and I think EVERYONE ELSE HERE, would love to read more from you.

Awesome ending to an Amazing story

And then they fucked.

Seriously though, a lovely end to a lovely story.

3135480
2nd person isn't everyone's cuppa tea.

3127638
Maybe. I don't have any plans for it, as I think I've wrapped up everything, but it's not impossible.

3127668
Wow, Abstract. That's quite the review you've written there. I'm planning on going in depth with pretty much everything you've brought up in a blog post soon. The one thing I will say is that there wasn't really an intention to touch on the whole Equestrian vs Human morality thing, aside from the usual "Ponies are friendlier" thing. Rarity being awesome and saving the day is because Rarity is awesome. Not much deeper than that

3127677
It's liquid pride.

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Thank you all so much for the kind words. I'ts been great fun writing this story, even if I've struck writer's block a time for fifteen. Overall I'm very happy with how things turned out. I wish I could be more verbose here (which usually isn't a problem for me!), but I'm not sure what to say besides 'thank you'. There's plenty more to come from me, that's for damn sure.

3128133
Much appreciated, Battle. Always cool to have a fellow soldier read a story about pastel pones.

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Oh my. Fluttermatrix is always welcome.

Manly tears

They have been shed. Good sire this has been quite the story and I bucking love you for making this. This is by far the most romantic longest most heart wrentching intwresting and all that other stuff Rarity Fic I have ever read. You sir get unlimited yays xUnlimited

Finished the chapter tonight. Definitely the best story on the sight I have read bar none. The amount of work you put in to your OC's without letting them steal the limelight from anon and Rarity is impressive. As I have said before, Pipe makes every chapter he's in better IMO. My only complaints would have been the Fluttershy ark. I just felt that it was weaker than Cashmere or Slate's stories. Not a bad ark mind you, there were just a lot of times that I would read a chapter and think "I feel just as frustrated as Anon does at them right now." Probably your intentions, and if so you did it well. I'm looking forward to reading your future works. Thanks for taking the time to make something great. Here's hoping for an Applejack story plus an epilogue for the honeymoon!

Best story I've read on this site, hands down. You done a wonderful job and created a phenomenal story! Though I'm sad to see it end it did end wonderfully. Excellent job! :)

3135583 From one military engineer to another...
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So which branch are you? I'm RAF.

So, this story has finally come to an end... I'm quite sad it's finished but... Wow, it was glorious !
I hope one day we'll get another romance story from you. And thanks a lot for this wonderfull fiction !

Sad that it's over but more than happy with what I got, thank you for the wonderful story

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Not actually an engineer myself, I just chose that job for my story character. But I was US Army, to answer your question. Salute right back at you!

3135583

It would have been longer if I went into details on the Fluttershy arc.

Yes that's apparently my definition of brevity. It scares me too.

(When do you expect your blog/discussion/analysis to go up?)

Great story man, one of the best I have read on this site. Have to say that the ending had me feeling...satisfied to say the least. The story had everything, drama, romance, tons and tons of conflict, and just the right amount of erotic scenes to make everything come together.
I will definitely be on the look out for more of your stories. Hopefully you have some sort of follow up for this one!

And always nice to see a fellow solider in the show. U.S. Army leads the way! Hooah!

I'm gonna say it and its probably Aalready been said but sequel please?

3145973
Sorry, not likely to happen. As I've said, I feel it would cheapen the story. The romance between Rarity and the protag has run its course. A very long course. And more than that, if I have to write another romance chapter any time soon, I'm going to strangle someone.

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A good point, but fluttershy had to bail them out there too... come to think of it, why is fluttershy so passively badass. If she didn't have confidence issues, she would be a total mary sue.

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Ah, damn it. I was just about to suggest something like that, perhaps something about Fluttershy and Whip-smart in the future? No pressure.

Well, with that said I'd like to thank you for this story. Easily one of the best I've read here!

Well. Good job man. Good fanfick. One of the best romance stories out here. I'm happy how you dealt with "Fluttershy arc". Smooth, I'm pretty sure you didn't know exactly what you want to do with this relationship, but you somehow taken care of it not leading it into dead end.

One hell of piece of work that kept me awake for hours sometimes... Thanks, buddy

I have to say when I saw the chapter title I imagined that the story would end with whatever magic brought him to Equestria would bring him back to Earth once he finds true love and marries the one he finds it in. Because that would be quite the alternate ending. And sequel.

After reading this chapter, I got the 'Feels' for this guy :'(

Great ending, though.

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I have no idea what half of that means, so I'm just going to bow to your superior fashion knowledge.

3227451 Heh,
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3227571 Heh, I didn't need tissues for a nose bleed,
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...if you know what I mean.