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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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FIRST POST
Awesome chapter!
I KNEW IT WAS SLATE!!!!
THE ASSHOLE IS GONNA PAY BIG TIME!!!!
These chapters don't come fast enough, dammit!
I'll get the pitchforks, you light the torches.
I'm too tired to figure out how to start this comment.
Have I told you how much I like the way you write the scenery. You're really good at creating this wonderful and atmospheric image of the surroundings. You can use the front of Cash's place in this chapter as an example. Speaking of her, I'm surprisingly happy about Cashmere having a bigger-than-normal role in this one. I love the way you wrote her dialogue and attitude She comes out as a very realistic and, surprisingly, likable antagonist. Bitch or not, she still wouldn't stoop down to this level, because there's no gain in it for her. She thinks surprisingly logically, and seems realistically offended of the accusations. And even when acting exceptionally nicely towards our protagonist(s), she doesn't seem out of character.
I'm also too tired to figure out how to end this one. What ever the case, you're a wizard. At writing, I mean. Or in real life, but then it should be easier to find a job as a wizard. I mean just look at Penn & Teller!
P.S: I realize that I didn't give you a clear explanation of what the pony I presented to you was like (I blame english not being my first language... or second). So if you're still interested/insane enough to hear what he's like in a few short sentences, inform me. PM or reply, I don't care which.
To be fair if you think about it, pegasi would be the easiest to cripple in a fight: clip the wings and break the hollow bones. Slate fights like a bitch. He's not all that smart and he's picking a fight with a creature twice his size with combat training, a unicorn that based on a few episodes knows some kind of martial arts and they are both know god(the princess) as well as an entire town including Rarity's frienemy Cashmere.
Hmm. I lov how rounded Cashmere is.
And LOL admitting that she would have clopped to seeing Rarity getting on! She's a real perv.
Again, I absolutely love how real you made this world to ne. And yay for cursing ponies!
725522
Keep in mind, this prick can fly. We're going to need spotlights and crossbows for this.
725821 I actually have a bow and many arrows, so I'll string up, you bring the floodlights.
And a third feature. I think features loose a little value when you're on there, then off in less than an hour, and then back 2 weeks later...
725918
What?
Cashmere. I...I want to thank you. For helping us. Even if you wasn't intentional." I don't think that makes sense
Anyways,The only part I didn't really like about this chapter was the fact that our protagonist is so good at relating people. I think it would be better if he could find out relations through conversation like "It's nice working in ponyville because my dad lives here and I see him more often now."
"oh that's nice who's your dad?"
blah blah
Also FEATURED AGAIN
725918 yea I kinda agree
725959
What do you mean what?
EDIT: This is exactly what I mean. You got featured again, but it was gone before you even noticed.
725961
TYPOS!
Hold on, I can fix it.
There, much better.
725967
Oh. The way you worded it seemed kinda weird. Don't worry, I was featured for a few hours, I got a screenshot of it. I'll go over your big post later, along with the others.
725821
Being friends with several pegasi - including the fastest flyer and someone famed for her loyalty to her friends - probably helps there.
Time to get medieval on Slate's flank. Or combine those torches and pitchforks into a single item for efficiency! Everything's better with burning pitchforks!
726095
You just blew my mind.
Called it!!
God I hope the main character loses it and beats the shit outa him.
This chapter made me really hope that you're goin to have Rarity and Cash make up their differences and become friends again. and that Slate ends up 6 feet under. And that this keeps going as swimmingly as possible.
Also, for those who didn't read the featured system update any time a story updates with at least an x:y like to dislike ratio it is guaranteed to get featured in one of the last two slots, until another two stories that meets said qualifications updates.
Still a great achievement, and I know I was really excited about when it happened to me the other day.
Amazing, truly amazing. This story just keeps getting better and better! Out of all the stories I keep track of, it's this one that I anticipate the most. You are an brilliant author!
*Loads the shotgun* Now to find Slate
726254
People always keep missing those announcements. Haha.
If Slate really wants to hurt them. He could always slip a love potion to one of them in a bad situation. That would be really evil.
727875
Dont give Slate any ideas man....
that would be really evil though.
Really good, always is
You know, Cash actually doesn't seem like that bad of a pony. Yea sure, she is trying to run Rarity out of business, but that doesn't mean she can't act civilized at times(well sort of civilized). She may be a underhanded, devious, flirtatious and crude, but really, I think she just wants her friend back. Underneath her facade of a conniving businessmare, she probably just wants to be accepted by the mare who was her best friend and got her out of a dead end job. I'm not sure why she would be so willing to go against Rarity, but maybe she feels as though by pushing her, they can rekindle their friendship through a partnership of sorts.
I asked for more Morning Blossom, and you delivered!
I had a feeling it'd be Slate.
Slate.....why you do this? Now you're just gonna get beat.
Been lurking on this story for a while, and I just have one thing to say.
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcThgch_wMhePr2_rc_LNCaNgXHk4X26Shf28H6cPypXP9Nj8alzwYnJjBu8CA
Can wait for more, but only because I can't do anything to make the next chapter come faster.
my fathers words "I wouldn't shit you you're my favorite turd" I hate my old some times...im away from my PC (IM DYING OVER HERE!!!) damnit all!!! got me a great idea and I have no way to make it also takin a guess you want me to do some pony :P (i hate typing on my phone!!!!!!)
I love the law of conservation of details.
Good chapter, loving how the Cash relationship has gotten to the point of begrudgingly friendly friend-enemy
725522 fuck pitchforks! chainswords for everyone!
*takes away all the pitchforks and throws them into a big pile of fire wood and hands out chainswords for everyone to use insted*
army-technology.com/projects/tunguska/images/tunguska4.jpg
Hits the ignition.
Heh, so many posters losing their heads.
You have to keep in mind that without any actual evidence, they can do bupkis. They've got a lead now, but that's all; and their lead was provided by another enemy, who might very well be trying to mislead them. Now, I don't yet think she is, but again- without proof, you've got nothing.
731805 Pitchfork/Bow and arrow/chainsword wielding mobs don't work on an evidence basis, they work on mob justice. That prick Slate has enough cause to be lynched without without the possibility of him being behind this.
731832
Hmm, you are perfectly right about the logic of lynch mobs I'm afraid. He certainly deserves something for his conduct so far.
Well, carry on then.
our favorite soldier engineer: "want a show? I'll give you a fucking show!!" then slate takes one hell of a beating
6 Killstreak images.wikia.com/callofduty/images/d/de/PrecisionAirstrike_icon.PNG
Airstrike waiting for your mark, repeat, Airstrike waiting for your mark
Coordinates accepted, pegasus target acquired .
732356
Thanks! I started learning English when I was 5, by watching movies and reading books in English. So whenever I write anything in my native language, Finnish, it's always filled with little bits of English in it. And I don't know a single bit of Swedish, Finland's second language. That's why I'm thinking of moving out of this country.
Now if I could just figure out why I'm telling you all of this...
732532
Or an ever-present dark and looming shroud of I-haven't-slept-in-ages?
732680
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly80fzD7271r5jtugo1_500.jpg
Am I the only one who suspects that Slate was maybe stalking the place and DIDNT do it? I hope it was him since I can't recall any other hatefull pony in the story, but there is some serious twist material there.
On another note, I love how you don't just invent new characters. You create an entire back story for them that feels informative but not rushed, like the evolution of Pipe Wrench. We have met his family and have come to know his character very well. If there was some way to suggest a background pony for an episode he would be it for me! Hell you do it again with Aegis. We meet him, get some details, and from that point on only a reference or two, building up to the completion of the necklace. Then BAM! His boy comes outta left field and I am instantly curious about him. Every side character feels like I should care about them and they aren't just an "Insert plot device here".
TL;DR
Your attention to detail and dedication to the pure aspect of storytelling astounds me. Jolly good show.
The best possible thing would be if fluttershy gets hooked up with Aegis's son. He is "a male version of rarity" and because he likes to do more physical work than studying he could help her at the cottage. Just a thought
731620 well said good sir. dude can cut his legs off and skin him alive and Rarity can make her man a new winter coat... just saying.
He's gonna propose on or around hearts warming isn't he?
739340 no i have a better idea...
lets just throw him into the warp and let chaos deal with him
741070
i18.photobucket.com/albums/b142/DMapes/PonyPinkieWarhammerSlaneeshiePie.png
Ain't no party like a Slaaneshi party!
741127 *sigh*
thank the emperor im a sane space marine unlike those blasted chaos...
741130
You say "blasted chaos" like it's a bad thing
i18.photobucket.com/albums/b142/DMapes/PonyPinkieWarhammerSlaanesh.png
741180 ooh for fucks sake man...
just stop it before i make it rain baneblades
741770
Pfft, like I care. I mean, it's not like you could OH GOD THERE'S A BANEBLADE UNDER MY DESK. WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY...
...
...
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!