• Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Bandy


Mixed greens and poison ivy salad, rocket fuel vinaigrette | Hundred-proof spirits from the fountain of wisdom | Iced Ko-Fi, scalding glances.

Comments ( 94 )

Huh. Another one of these. Interesting.

was waiting for a rarity fic, finally

followin'

The funny thing is, he tried eat a horse, but she insisted on finger bangin.

Haven't read it yet, but any Rarity x Human story, clop or not, is #1 in my book! :raritywink:

It would've been super hot if it hadn't been crazy fuckin' hilarious. Good work- I expect this to get very high rankings.

Filled with babies.

You dont know how much that just made my day. no idea at all.

egfihweotjgtw4mtrgjejhhehehehe

:duck: That was kinky :raritystarry: That made it interesting. :raritywink:

just the first paragraph made me favorite this

I object to this being complete.
Kinky indeed.

Pretty good story. I only wish I wasn't left with a cliffhanger.

Meh. :fluttershysad:

(Joke) Alt. Title: A Hand Of A Gem
I will NEVER stop referencing that! On the story itself... It's yet another Humance story. What else can be said?

Holy gods and/or goddesses this is soft. Like, Tempurpedic mattress made of clouds and stuffed with babies

One of the funniest lines in this story, though the entire story was hilarious

1913034 I work to please you and only you, Dezi.

He's the man... the man with the magic hands...!

Probably lucky he doesn't know how to properly massage or Rarity would be a melted marshmallow.

In my headcannon, that's one of the apex careers for humans in Equestria since, you know, hands, I mean, come on what else can we do? Er, besides put things up and take things down from high shelves that is... Oh! And constantly frighten ponies with pointy-toothed grins and saying, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a hor-..." Whoops! :facehoof:

Why, Bandy... why? :raritydespair:

Oh, nevermind, I still love ya :heart:

This is absolutely hilarious and absolutely sexy at the same time. I didn't think those could actually be combined. You sir, are fantastic.

this was kinda funny i liked it thank you for the great storie. :rainbowdetermined2:

will read later :raritywink:

Wow Rarity...you don't even show the courtesy of returning the favor?

...

Well, nicely written. You managed to show a little bit of Rarity's "vain" side.

And I hope to see more of your work in the future! :twilightsmile:

This needs a part 2 to it.

After all, it isn't fair for our human to be left out.

So basically this is an 18+ comedy fic. Good, good, there aren't really that many of them out there, and this was greatly written indeed :pinkiehappy:

Rarity tastes like marshmallows? All I could think in that bit was "hot chocolate hot chocolate hot chocolate hot chocolate."

1914859

“My dear,” she spoke, “I don’t want you to service me with your mouth—heavens, that is so normal. I want you to use my hands.”

I don't think Rarity would have hands.:twilightblush:

1916936 Doooh, thank you for pointing that out.

1916951
No problem, and your story has certainly caught my attention.:twilightblush:
I look forward to the future chapters.

Hey honey, remember the time you raped my hands then left me butt-naked in the middle of the store? Fun times, fun times

This would be easier to masturbate to if it wasn't so damn funny!

I normally never read anything in second-person, but that was damn funny.:rainbowlaugh:

poor human, not being aloud to get off.

This story can go so far if you make more chapters

Wow... This was possibly one of the only stories on the site I actually enjoyed. Usually, I'll find featured clop, and dismiss it if it doesn't have more than 10,000 words, but this was close enough in my book as the quality is so high. The writing style was unique, I enjoyed mostly all of it, it kept me entertained and at the end, I was thoroughly pleased with what I read.

Good job, and keep up the good work TBB.:eeyup:

Just when I thought I could clop. Hilarity ensues. I was laughing so hard I gave myself blueballs. Also knew that her plot would be soft as fuck. Also when did lyra become Rarity? Oh and spike must be pissed at this guy

1916456 I was thinking get some chocolate from Pinkie and have some S'mores :pinkiehappy:

Can I understand something?

When your transported into Equestria, do you stay a realistic human being, whilst Ponyville remains cartoonish? Or are you transmogrified into something more 'Lauren Faust' style?

nerdreactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Super-Best-Friends-Forever.jpg

Or is it opposite in which Ponyville turns more realistic, in sense where your actually fucking a small horse with extremely large eyes and a washed shade of colors?

deviantart.com/download/273763743/my_little_pony_realistic_look_by_hatenaboss-d4izpgf.jpg

Maybe a blend? I... I can't even wrap my mind around how out of place that would look.

I'll go ahead and assume the ponies remain cartoonified in any instance, because tbh, I assume many clop enthusiasts would rather stick their dick in something cute, pudgy, and non-threatening as opposed to animals who could kick you with their hind legs and kill you instantly.

Oh man, I absolutely adored the writing in this. The style and the quirky sense of humor really uplifted the relatively simple premise and made this story into a concoction consisting of equal parts pure genius and epic win. It was just so witty and well-crafted, with the clever little asides and absolutely hilarious similes... You completely nailed the characterization of Rarity, too. And the second-person perspective; the way you played with it at times brought a smile to my face.

But, I have to say, when push came to shove -- and by 'push' I mean 'coquettish, awkward flirting', while by 'shove' I mean 'hardcore finger-fucking' -- it was still simply, unadulteratedly hot. As it should be.

Totally gives me something to aspire to, in my own writing.

I like it!

Hilariously sexy and sweet.

Don't stick your dick in crazy, kids.

I’m about to have sex with a horse I’m about to have sex with a horse I’m about to have sex with a horse I’m about to have sex with a horse I’m about to have sex with a horse

Man, I know that feeling.

1921059 THIS.

FUCKING.

THIS.

1914369
LMAO The face he makes at the end is absolutely hilarious!
That just made my day. :rainbowlaugh:

augh:pinkiesick:, blue balls, i know thoes feels man:fluttercry: poor guy.

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Much to your relief, a why half-smile worms her way across her face

Did you mean "wry smile"?

The angry side of your brain doesn’t even bother to finish with a coherent though

Did you mean "coherent thought"?

Her passionate but steady strokes quickly devolves into

Devolves should be devolve

Am I the only one that immediately thought of south park? Seriously though it was good.

1922547 Fixed. Thank you for pointing those out.

this story was definitely well written, which is nice to see when it seems most of the clop stories hitting the featured box are decidedly lacking. this one even has almost entirely serviceable grammar, which is a nice change.

if i had any critique to offer, it would be that the second person is really doing no favours to the narrative. the opening sentence dictates something about the reader immediately, and from there the internal monologue only seems more detached from the blank slate of a second person viewpoint as it develops more of a voice and personality. i'm not the one to talk about this, honestly, but i feel this would have been a much better story if it was told from a first person perspective.

the other bit worth mentioning is that some of the aside-thoughts, while well thought out and humourous at points, detract a bit from the mood you're setting otherwise. on one hand, it's a nice element of personality in your storytelling, but it's a little disjointed in comparison to the rest of the subject matter.

and, usually for mid-sentence quotations, single quotes are recommended instead of full quotes.

otherwise, great story, thumbs up etc. etc.

1923394 You're quite welcome.

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